年轻人，你为什么不结婚？｜结婚｜单身｜不婚｜不育｜传宗接代｜信心｜王局拍案20230615

Summary

本视频探讨了当前年轻人不愿结婚的现象，这一话题在中国互联网上引起热议。视频通过网上搜索和统计数据，展示了年轻人对于结婚和生育的消极态度，以及结婚率自2013年以来的持续下降趋势。分析了传统婚姻的经济互助、生育、性生活和情感需求四大功能，以及现代社会中这些功能的变化。指出中国年轻人面临的特殊问题，如高房价、生活成本和对未来缺乏希望感，这些因素加剧了结婚意愿的下降。视频最后提出了政府可能采取的措施，以应对这一社会趋势，并对未来中国的发展提出了担忧。

Takeaways

• 📉 中国结婚率持续下降，2023年结婚登记数量降至6.83百万对，为1986年有记录以来最低。
• 🔍 年轻人不愿意结婚的现象在中国互联网上引起热议，许多人认为结婚会导致经济负担增加。
• 💰 经济因素是年轻人不愿结婚的主要原因之一，包括高昂的彩礼和购房压力。
• 👫 性别比例失衡导致婚姻市场竞争加剧，男性面临更大的结婚难度。
• 👶 传统婚姻的四大功能——经济互助、生育、性需求满足和情感需求——在现代社会中发生了变化。
• 👴 随着社会保障体系的建立，养儿防老的观念逐渐改变，孩子从投资变为消费。
• 🚫 现代社会中，性需求不再需要通过婚姻来满足，这减弱了婚姻的吸引力。
• 💔 情感的易变和不稳定性使得婚姻的吸引力降低，年轻人更加重视个人自由和独立。
• 🏠 年轻人普遍感受到社会上升通道的封闭和不确定性，这导致他们对结婚和生育持谨慎态度。
• 🌐 年轻人不愿结婚是一个全球现象，不仅仅是中国特有的问题。

Q & A

为什么年轻人现在不愿意结婚？

根据视频脚本，年轻人不愿意结婚的原因包括经济压力、对个人自由的追求、对婚姻和生育的传统观念的改变，以及社会竞争的加剧等。

中国近年来结婚率下降的统计数据是怎样的？

自1986年以来，中国的结婚率一直在下降，2023年全年结婚登记的夫妇总数为683万对，这是自1986年有统计数据以来的最低记录。

结婚率下降与疫情有关吗？

尽管疫情可能导致了一定程度的结婚率下降，但数据显示，即使疫情结束，人们的结婚意愿并没有增加，结婚率仍然在下降。

结婚率下降对社会有哪些潜在影响？

结婚率下降可能导致新生儿数量锐减，从而对社会的人口结构和经济发展产生长远影响。

年轻人对婚姻有哪些新的看法？

年轻人认为婚姻不再是生活的必要部分，他们更看重个人自由和生活质量，不愿意因为婚姻而牺牲这些。

年轻人为什么会觉得结婚会降低生活质量？

结婚可能意味着经济负担、家庭责任和社会压力的增加，年轻人担心这些因素会影响他们的个人发展和生活享受。

为什么说现代婚姻中情感因素变得不那么重要？

因为情感是易变的，而传统婚姻中经济互助、生育和性生活的功能在现代社会已经高度社会化，因此婚姻的主要功能转变为情感满足，这使得婚姻变得更加不稳定。

中国特有的社会背景如何影响年轻人的婚姻观？

中国特有的计划生育政策、性别比例失衡、高房价和生活成本等因素，使得年轻人面临更大的结婚压力和挑战。

政府可以采取哪些措施来应对结婚率下降的趋势？

政府可以尝试将婚姻和生育分开，鼓励非婚生育，提供更多的社会支持和福利，以及增加年轻人对未来的信心和希望。

为什么说婚姻在现代社会中变成了一种消费？

随着社会的发展，婚姻不再仅仅是经济互助和生育的工具，而是更多地涉及到情感满足和生活质量的追求，这使得婚姻成为一种个人选择和消费行为。

年轻人对婚姻的犹豫不决反映出哪些社会问题？

年轻人对婚姻的犹豫不决反映出他们对未来的不确定感、对个人发展的重视以及对社会压力的抗拒。

Outlines

00:00

📉 年轻人不愿结婚现象

本段讨论了年轻人不愿意结婚的现象，指出这在中国互联网上成为热门话题。通过在线搜索发现，许多年轻人认为结婚会导致经济负担加重，宁愿单身。此外，提到了中国民政部发布的最新婚姻统计数据，显示去年全国结婚登记数量为683万对，离婚为210万对，其中包含超过百万的再婚，首次婚姻数量大约为500万对。这是自1986年有统计数据以来的最低记录，并且从2013年的高峰逐年下降。尽管疫情结束，但结婚意愿并未上升，反映出年轻人普遍不愿意结婚的趋势。

05:02

👫 婚姻的传统功能与现代变化

这段内容分析了婚姻在社会中的四个传统功能：经济互助、生育、性生活和情感满足。指出现代社会中，前三个功能已经高度社会化，婚姻的功能主要转变为情感满足。然而，情感是多变且不可靠的，这导致现代工业化国家的年轻人普遍不愿意结婚。此外，提到了中国特有的问题，如计划生育导致的适婚人口减少和性别比例失衡，以及婚姻成本的上升，使得婚姻竞争变得更加激烈。

10:04

💰 婚姻的经济竞争与性别角色

本段讨论了婚姻的经济竞争性如何增加，尤其是在性别比例失衡的背景下。提到了彩礼的上升，反映了女性在婚姻市场中的高需求。同时，分析了男性和女性对婚姻的看法差异，男性从婚姻中获益更多，而女性在婚后获益较少，这导致女性对婚姻的犹豫。还提到了不结婚的好处，如更多的自由和无需承担家庭责任。

15:04

🚫 性、情感与婚姻的关系变化

这段内容探讨了性、情感与婚姻之间的关系如何随时间变化。指出现代社会中，性不再需要通过婚姻来实现，婚前关系和多种性体验方式变得普遍。情感方面，虽然人类对情感的渴望没有改变，但情感本身是易变的，这使得维持婚姻的难度增加。现代社会中，婚姻的稳定性不再依赖于经济互助、生育和性，而是主要依赖于情感，这使得婚姻变得更加不稳定。

20:08

🤔 年轻人对婚姻的态度与社会挑战

本段分析了年轻人推迟结婚年龄的原因，包括对婚姻经济负担的担忧、社会上升通道的封闭感和整体不确定性。提到了女性对男性在婚姻中的经济要求，如支付彩礼和购房，这对许多男性来说是不现实的。还提到了年轻人对于生育的担忧，他们认为养育孩子的成本太高，而且孩子长大后可能不会回报父母。政府在改变这一趋势上面临困难，提出了一些政策建议，如分离婚姻和生育，给予非婚生家庭更多关怀和福利。

25:09

🌐 中国婚姻率下降的普遍与特殊原因

最后一段总结了中国婚姻率下降的普遍因素和特殊原因，强调了婚姻竞争的激烈和年轻人的无助感。提到了除非解决这些问题，否则中国年轻人将继续对婚姻持犹豫态度。通过个人访谈的形式，展示了一些年轻人对婚姻的看法，他们更倾向于享受单身生活，不受婚姻和养育孩子的压力。

Keywords

💡结婚意愿

结婚意愿指的是个人对于结婚的意向和倾向。在视频中，提到现代年轻人结婚意愿下降，这与社会趋势、经济压力和个人价值观的变化有关。例如，视频中提到年轻人认为结婚会导致经济负担加重，因此不愿意结婚。

💡经济互助

经济互助是指通过婚姻关系实现的经济上的支持和合作。视频中提到，传统婚姻中，经济互助是重要功能之一，两个人生活在一起的成本与一个人相差无几，但可以获得两份收入，从而提高生活水平。

💡生育

生育是指生育和抚养下一代的行为。视频中指出，传统上，结婚是延续家族血脉的前提，而现代社会中，生育观念发生了变化，不再将生育作为结婚的主要目的。

💡性

性在这里指的是性生活和性需求。视频中提到，在传统社会中，婚姻是获得性满足的主要途径。然而，在现代社会，性需求的满足不再局限于婚姻，这也影响了人们对结婚的看法。

💡情感需求

情感需求是指人们对情感联系和情感满足的追求。视频中强调，尽管情感需求是人类长久以来的基本需求，但在现代社会中，情感的易变和不稳定性使得婚姻作为情感满足的功能受到了挑战。

💡社会趋势

社会趋势是指社会发展的方向和主流观念的变化。视频中提到，不结婚已经成为一种社会趋势，这反映了年轻一代对于婚姻和个人生活方式的新看法。

💡性别比例失衡

性别比例失衡是指男性和女性在数量上的不平衡。视频中提到，由于计划生育政策，中国的性别比例失衡，导致男性比女性多，这增加了结婚的竞争力，影响了结婚意愿。

💡彩礼

彩礼是中国传统婚礼中，新郎一方向新娘一方支付的财物。视频中指出，彩礼的金额在近年来不断攀升，特别是在一些贫困地区，高额的彩礼成为结婚的重大经济负担。

💡离婚率

离婚率是指在一定时期内离婚的对数与总人口的比例。视频中提到，随着婚姻基础的变化，现代社会的离婚率有所上升，这反映了婚姻关系的不稳定性。

💡个人主义

个人主义是指强调个人自由、独立和个人选择的价值观。视频中提到，现代年轻人更加重视个人主义，追求个人的自由和幸福，这使得他们对传统婚姻模式持有不同的态度。

💡社会责任

社会责任是指个人或组织对社会整体利益和福祉所承担的责任。视频中讨论了年轻人对于结婚和生育的态度，以及他们对社会责任的看法，指出个人的选择对社会未来发展有着重要影响。

Highlights

年轻人不愿意结婚已成为中国互联网上的热门话题。

2023年中国全年结婚登记对数为683万对，为1986年以来最低。

2013年是中国结婚登记的高峰年，此后结婚登记数逐年下降。

2023年5月20日，中国各地结婚登记数量较去年有显著下降。

即使在疫情结束后，人们的结婚意愿并未增加。

中国近年来新生儿数量急剧下降，2023年预计仅超过700万。

婚姻的传统功能包括经济互助、生育后代、性生活满足和情感需求。

现代社会中，婚姻的经济、生育和性生活功能已社会化，婚姻的功能主要转变为情感满足。

年轻人对婚姻的不情愿可能与他们对情感的不稳定和不可靠的看法有关。

中国实施了严格的计划生育政策，导致适婚年龄段的人口逐渐减少。

性别比例失衡导致婚姻竞争加剧，进而增加了结婚的成本。

现代社会中，养育孩子已从投资转变为消费，成本高昂。

婚前性行为的普遍和社会接受度的提高减少了婚姻作为性需求满足的必要性。

年轻人推迟结婚年龄，部分原因是对情感稳定性的不确定性。

中国年轻人对婚姻的犹豫不仅与普遍因素有关，还与特定的社会经济因素有关。

政府面临的挑战是如何改变年轻人不愿结婚的趋势，这在工业化国家是一个普遍现象。

建议政府尝试将婚姻与生育分离，并为非婚生家庭提供更多的社会支持和福利。

除非解决经济和社会不确定性问题，否则中国年轻人将继续对婚姻持观望态度。

Transcripts

Today, I'm going to talk about why young people nowadays are unwilling to get married

Recently, this topic has been trending on the Chinese internet

I randomly searched online for "not getting married" and "no marriage"

There are countless videos and posts online

"Yeah, why should I get married and have children?"

"Because once I get married, I'll become poor, right?"

"Do you know that many people from the '90s generation are left with nothing?"

"No getting married, no having children, no buying a house, no buying a car"

"So, with tens of thousands of yuan in my hand, isn't it better to spend it slowly?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No"

"Do you want to find a girlfriend?"

"I don't want to"

"Why don't you want to?"

"Because it's better not to engage in something that consumes time and energy"

"Consumes time and energy, but isn't it nice to have a girlfriend to have fun with?"

"No, it's not good"

"Why don't you get married then?"

"Get married? Don't you know it's not auspicious?"

"Women who get married in our hometown have a miserable life when they get old"

"Well, won't you not want kids then?"

"Kids? Don't mention kids to me. I'm allergic to kids"

"I went to the hospital to check for allergens"

"I can't even touch 3-year-old girls or 5-year-old boys"

"I get a rash on my body, it's scary"

"At 36, not getting married or having kids, how enjoyable is a life of living alone?"

"I can sleep in without anyone disturbing me"

"I can eat without considering others' tastes"

"Living alone, the house won't get messy"

"All my income can be spent as I please"

As you can see, not getting married has become a social trend among young people nowadays

Coincidentally, a few days ago, China's Ministry of Civil Affairs

released statistical data for the fourth quarter of last year

This data showed that the total number of marriages last year

in the whole country was 6.83 million couples

Divorces accounted for 2.1 million couples

This includes over a million remarriages

So, the number of first marriages is roughly 5 million couples

This number may be hard to grasp for everyone

Let me give you an introduction

China has been releasing the annual number of marriages since 1986

From 1986 until now, it's been almost 40 years

This number is the lowest since the availability of statistical data

2013 was the peak year for marriage in China

In that year, there were over 13 million marriages, but since then, it has been declining year by year

Initially, the decline was relatively stable

By 2019, it fell below 10 million for the first time

After that, it entered a steep decline

Each year, it has been dropping by over 10%

Last year, there were still 7.6 million couples

This year, it has dropped to 6.83 million couples

According to this trend, if it continues without change

it may soon fall below 5 million couples

What's even more critical is that

everyone knows that the past three years were affected by the pandemic

many people believe that the decline in the number of marriages in recent years is due to the pandemic

The pandemic caused isolation and lockdowns, making it impossible for people to get married

Therefore, many people expect that after the pandemic ends

there will be a surge in the number of marriages

And the fourth quarter of last year was the season when the pandemic ended

But look at the current numbers

The number of marriages in the last quarter of last year did not increase

It was even lower than the previous quarter

What does that indicate?

It means that even after the end of the pandemic, people's willingness to get married did not increase

Let me give you another number

This year's May 20th was the first May 20th after the end of the pandemic

last year's May 20th still had the pandemic and lockdowns

how many couples got married on this year's May 20th?

"The Paper" recently conducted a report on the marriage numbers

on May 20th in various provinces nationwide

Let me read it to you

In Jiangsu Province, on this year's May 20th

there were 11,156 marriages, a 25% decrease from last year

In Guangdong, there were 12,450 marriages, a 40% decrease from last year

In Sichuan, there were 16,000 marriages, a 36% decrease from last year

Hubei was even worse. On May 20th, there were 9,455 registered marriages

That's a total decrease of 46% compared to last year

In Hunan, there were only 4,576 registered marriages on May 20th, a 76% decrease from last year

Now, think about it

What does that indicate?

It means that the factor of the pandemic

should be negligible in young people's unwillingness to get married

That also means that young people nowadays really don't want to get married

Regardless of whether there's a pandemic or whether society is normal

they just won't get married

How terrible is it that young people are not getting married?

I have previously talked about this on a program

The number of newborns in China has been sharply declining in recent years

It has now dropped below 10 million

And this year, according to the numbers from pediatric hospitals

the total number of children being registered throughout the year is only 7.44 million

That also means

that the total number of newborns in China in 2023

is approximately just over 7 million

Some people have made comparisons with this number

It is lower than the number in 1946

It is even lower than during the period of the Anti-Japanese War and the Great Famine

Back then, there were still 9 million births per year

now we are in prosperous China

and the number of annual births is only slightly over 7 million

The key is to reverse the decline in birth numbers

First and foremost, we need these young people to get married

If they don't even get married, how can we talk about having children?

So, the issue of marriage is the prerequisite for the issue of childbirth

If young people don't get married, then having children is out of the question

Therefore, this issue is extremely important for China today

Let's analyze why young people today

are unwilling to get married

"Why are some girls going too far?"

"Always shouting about not wanting to marry or have children, as if you are so noble"

"You say you won't get married, then where will you find someone to tolerate you?"

"Who will take care of you?"

"how will you develop your housekeeping skills?"

"who will wash clothes and cook for the men?"

"Who will continue their family lineage?"

"You say you'll just indulge in eating, drinking, and having fun"

"But then you won't even have someone scolding you for being extravagant"

"after you doing your nails"

"You won't have anyone insulting your looks"

"Don't you want to worry about gynecological diseases?"

"Don't you want to be a wife catching a cheating husband?"

"If something unfortunate happens, how will the police identify the suspect?"

"A woman not getting married is like a bird without a watch"

"Like a monkey without a keyboard, like a fish without a motorcycle"

"You really are stupid"

"Hey, you better think it through."

"Don't end up when there is chaos in someone else's family"

"Someone gets a heart attack from tutoring children's homework, or her husband wants to transfer assets due to infidelity"

"You better not burst into laughter"

First, let's analyze the traditional institution of marriage

What functions does it serve in society?

I think there are several aspects to it

Firstly, the first function is economic assistance

It's because the cost of living alone is too high

The cost of living together for two people is almost the same

But there are two incomes

Even in ancient times, with the division of labor between men working outside and women taking care of the household

the woman's role at home, including raising children and doing housework

was actually a form of income

For men, it is also a very obvious benefit

when two people live together, the main aspect is economic assistance

This is the primary function of traditional marriage

The second major function is procreation

Chinese people have the concept and tradition of continuing the family lineage

But the prerequisite for continuing the family lineage is marriage

Because raising children is extremely challenging and time-consuming

It takes more than 20 years to raise them into adults

In traditional society, it is almost unimaginable

for one person to raise a child during that time

It requires both partners to participate

in raising the child in order to succeed

This is the second function

The third function is obtaining sex

In traditional society, sex was almost exclusively obtained through marriage

Sex outside of marriage was either not allowed by societal morals

or not permitted by law

when you have sexual desires, the best way is to get married

and have a stable sexual partner to fulfill your sexual needs

The fourth aspect

is satisfying our emotional needs for the opposite sex

When you meet someone you're interested in, you want to marry them

to be with them for a lifetime

This is a beautiful longing for human emotions

But here I want to mention

that emotional factors should be considered the least important in marriage

Throughout the history of marriage among humans

the history of emotionally-driven marriages does not exceed 100 years

In ancient societies, marriages were arranged by parents

and you didn't even meet the person before getting married

Where would emotions come into play?

Therefore, emotions are actually

unimportant in traditional marriages

But in modern marriages, they are important

In my opinion

the four social functions of marriage

are the four aspects I mentioned earlier

Next, we need to analyze

why young people nowadays are unwilling to get married

What variables have changed?

The first objective reason

is that China has implemented strict family planning in the past few years

As a result, the population of marriageable age is gradually declining

This is an objective fact

For example, those born in 1988, 1989 entered the marriageable age range

Currently, it is about 20 million per year

And this number is slowly decreasing year by year

There is also a number that people often overlook

which is the gender ratio

The gender ratio in China

became imbalanced due to family planning measures during a specific period

In the normal process of male-female birth ratio

males are slightly more than females

However, due to the preference for male children during the family planning era

the gender ratio became extremely skewed

It once reached 125 males to 100 females

Female infants were even killed at birth

As a result, there are significantly more males than females

In the year 2020, the numbers we released

among the marriageable population aged 20 to 40

showed that there are 17 million more men than women

it's quite alarming

It also means that

the competitiveness of marriage has greatly increased

We just talked about how traditional marriage was originally an economic mutual aid organization

where men and women live together

and the welfare levels of both parties improved

However, due to the shortage of women compared to men

the competitiveness in the process of entering marriage has become extremely intense

So this originally mutual assistance has turned into competition

and the degree of competition has become very high

Everyone knows about the bride price in recent years

In many rural areas

the amount has skyrocketed

From what I've heard

an amount of around 500,000 yuan has become quite normal nowadays

Especially in many impoverished areas

like Gansu, for example

where the income is not high

it is said that the bride price can easily reach several hundred thousand

What does that indicate?

It shows that the competitiveness of marriage has increased

Women are in high demand

and men want to get married

the families of women take advantage of the desire of men to get married

and desperately raise the bride price

So now you can see

that the unmarried status can actually be divided into two parts

Many men are "losing marriage"

"Losing marriage" means that you want to get married, but you can't, no one wants to marry you

For example, me

I want to get married, I really want to find a girlfriend

but on one hand, I'm busy with work

and on the other hand, I'm getting older and no one wants me

So I belong to the "losing marriage" category

And many women choose not to get married

When they say they don't want to get married, it means that they actually have potential partners

there are people who want to marry them, but they refuse

So what does this reflect?

Men and women

have different perceptions of benefits when entering the marriage process

Men gain more benefits from getting married

so they want to get married

But women gain fewer benefits after marriage

so they are reluctant to get married

Of course, men may feel a stronger sense of deprivation during divorce

while women may feel a weaker sense of deprivation during divorce

in conclusion, this has led to young people nowadays

being less willing to get married

Someone has mentioned

that in the past, marriage was about financial restructuring

but now it has become debt restructuring

"Not getting married, how great is it?"

"Not getting married means no need to buy a house"

"no burden of mortgage, savings from the bride price"

"One person eats well, the whole family is not hungry"

"No need to bear the pressure of providing for the family"

"Not getting married has five advantages"

"1. More freedom, no one stops you from going for a massage or foot spa"

"2. No frequent arguments over household chores"

"3. Can let loose and pursue one's interests"

"Without family obligations, it's easier to succeed in career"

"4. No worries about being cuckolded"

"5. you won't burden your parents when you're young"

"and you won't become a burden to your children when you're old"

The second factor

is raising children

Because in traditional society, raising children is actually an investment

Why is it an investment?

Because you think "raising children for old age"

If you have more children, when you grow old

you'll have more children who will take care of you, give you money

and provide warmth to you

So, you feel that having children and having grandchildren around you in old age is very fulfilling

But now it's different

Now raising children has turned into consumption

It has shifted from investment to consumption

Why is that?

Firstly, nowadays, once children get married

they don't really take care of you when you're old

At the same time, with the gradual establishment of social security systems

child-rearing is no longer solely a family matter

It has become socialized upbringing

You have a pension

So, the so-called traditional Chinese concept of filial piety

and the culture of providing for parents, is gradually changing

Young people are less likely to support you in old age

In this situation

what do you gain by raising children?

You only gain happiness in the process of raising children

But the cost is too high

According to some statistics

raising a child in a city like Beijing, Shanghai, or Guangzhou

from birth until college graduation, on average costs 2 million yuan

In smaller cities, although it may be slightly cheaper

the actual figures are still not low

To raise a child, you would need to spend at least a few hundred thousand

If you have two children, it would be two to three million

So, this is a very high cost for parents

And once you raise them, they fly away

When you get older, they don't take care of you either

Doesn't that purely become a consumer behavior?

So, this is a common change in all industrialized countries

The act of raising children has shifted from investment to consumption

That's why many people are unwilling to have children now

This is the fundamental reason

"What would you do if your daughter is mistreated in her in-laws' family?"

"My daughter wouldn't tolerate such mistreatment"

"So she won't get married"

"Can you accept that?"

"I can accept it, why not?"

"What's the point of carrying on the family lineage? Daughters can't carry on the lineage anyway, it doesn't matter"

"Then you'll have no one to accompany you when you're old"

"If you have a daughter, you'll have someone to accompany you?"

"If you have a son, you'll have someone to accompany you?"

"You can live in a better nursing home, just be independent"

"I think marriage is not necessarily good, and not getting married is not necessarily bad"

The third point, sex

In the past, you could only have sex if you were married

But now it's not necessary

In premarital relationships nowadays

as long as two people are in love, they basically live together

And outside of being in a relationship

there are more and more ways to have sexual experiences

This is an objective fact

in fact, many people no longer need marriage to fulfill their sexual needs

In this case

the motivation to enter the institution of marriage itself weakens

Furthermore

once you are married

you have a duty of loyalty to your partner

If you seek sexual relationships outside of that person

you become unethical, and you may even break the law

However, if you choose not to get married, you are relatively more free

If you don't have a stable boyfriend or girlfriend

it's actually not that difficult to fulfill your sexual needs in today's society

So, why do modern people

keep postponing the age of marriage?

This is also a very important reason

They are unwilling to enter the institution of marriage too early

Sexual partners have become the only object of affection

This is the third aspect

The fourth aspect is emotions

Throughout our human evolution

the longing for that kind of emotional connection with the opposite sex still exists

And people hope to build such emotional bonds

through the institution of marriage

be it creating a nest or a family

This aspect has probably remained unchanged

But here arises another issue

While the pursuit of emotions hasn't changed

emotions themselves are easily changeable

In the past, there was a saying about the "seven-year itch" in marriage

By the seventh year

you start finding faults with your partner no matter how you look at them

They used to be like a fairy, but now they've turned into a middle-aged woman

He used to be a handsome guy, but now he's become a greasy middle-aged man

think about it

maintaining the exclusivity of human emotions is actually quite challenging

The kind of everlasting love and devotion of the past

mostly happened without marriage

Didn't people often say in the past

that marriage is the grave of emotions, the grave of love?

When you're not married, everything seems great

But after a few years of dealing with household chores and responsibilities

you start finding your partner more and more disagreeable

In traditional marriages, as it was an economic mutual aid organization

as it involved reproduction and obtaining sexual satisfaction

it became extremely stable

You can look at families in the agricultural era

hardly any divorces occurred

But why is the divorce rate very high in modern society?

It's because the important foundations for maintaining marriage

that existed before no longer remain, leaving only emotions

Emotions, this thing, are too unreliable

In this situation, you will find that the divorce rate starts to increase significantly

The age of marriage begins to gradually postpone

"There are benefits to not getting married"

"Freedom, no one to control you"

"When you have a family, you argue about household chores and children"

"Can you accept that she doesn't want to get married to avoid these pressures?"

"Let them be"

Child has child's mindset"

"She can solve everything herself, why does she need a man?"

"It's not like before when we relied on our children for support in old age"

"It's useless to say that continuing the family lineage"

"As long as we live well"

"Not getting married means no one to accompany you"

"Don't you have friends outside?"

"A few close friends are better than a wife or husband"

"Develop more interests and hobbies"

What I just analyzed are common phenomena in industrialized countries

Not only in China, actually

Young people in Japan don't want to have children, and neither do young people in Korea

Young people in Taiwan, the US and Europe are also unwilling to reproduce

People are inherently self-interested

if they perceive not getting married as beneficial to themselves

then they are unwilling to get married

even though reproduction is beneficial to the entire society

But as an ordinary person, he actually has no obligation

to take responsibility for the development of the whole society

So you can see this in major developed countries around the world

Most young people nowadays are unwilling to get married

But the situation in China is slightly different

First of all

China is far from being as prosperous as the countries I mentioned earlier

The level of social security is also not at that level

there are still many people with very low income levels

why hasn't its economic mutual assistance function continued to work?

And starting from 2019 until now

there has been a cliff-like decline

It must not be just the reason I mentioned earlier

There must be special reasons

What are these special reasons?

I think there are several aspects to consider

First, as I mentioned earlier, this economic factor combined with competition

has resulted in young people, especially men, being unable to afford marriage

It's not that they don't want to get married, they simply can't afford it

Nowadays, many women demand that men, during the marriage process

not only pay a bride price

but also buy a house for the groom's family

For the man

just a few years after graduating from college

it is almost impossible to buy a house

in today's big cities

You may have to rely on your entire family's efforts to have a chance to afford this house

If your family cannot support you, then forget about it

That also means that even if you want to get married, you won't be able to

Because you don't have the financial means

In the past, we used to say "establish a family before having a career"

But now, women demand that you have a career before starting a family

this is a very important factor

The second aspect is that in recent years

young people may generally feel

that on one hand, the upward path has been blocked

On the other hand, there is great uncertainty in society as a whole

In this situation, they may find it difficult to take care of themselves

If they were to get married

and if they were to raise children

the risks would be even greater

many people, based on this risk aversion, are unwilling to get married

They always feel like they can barely manage on their own

But once it becomes a family

the responsibilities they would have to bear

seem overwhelming to them

"Why don't I have children?"

"Not infertility? Absolutely not"

"As of now, my health indicators are barely normal"

"I don't have children simply because I can't afford to"

"I can't afford to raise them, let alone raise them well"

"If you suggest adding two chopsticks, feeding them a bowl of porridge and sending them to the fields for farming"

"then we have more than enough"

"But when it comes to safety, pollution-free, scientifically balanced main and supplementary food"

"with vitamins, nutrients, and preschool tutoring"

"learning piano, dancing, English, painting, swimming, and fitness"

"attending private schools where teachers don't tutor us at home"

"If they can't get into top universities, we send them abroad for studies"

"After they return, I'll prepare their bride price and buy them a house"

"A large two-bedroom apartment, a small car with four wheels"

"And give birth to a big, chubby grandchild for me"

"I truly can't afford it. Did someone force you to raise them like this?"

"Who forced you to do it?"

"If you can't afford private schools, go to public schools. If you can't learn the piano, learn a different skill. Isn't that enough?"

"Not enough? Who's forcing me?"

"If others are studying, why aren't you studying? If others are working hard, why aren't you?"

"There's an old saying"

"Do you want your child to start at a disadvantage?"

Lastly, I want to mention

The government actually faces great difficulties in trying to change this trend

Just as I have mentioned before

If you want to reduce the birth rate, it's not difficult

You just need to take strict measures and enforce birth control on them

But now, if you want people to have more children, it's extremely difficult

If you want these young people who are unwilling to get married to consider marriage

It's very challenging

Especially after the development of industrialization

Human marriage patterns have gradually changed

So, under this trend

It's really extremely difficult to significantly increase the desire of young people to get married

Do you think subsidies would work?

Do tax methods work?

If someone is unwilling to get married, it's hard to force them

So, I have several suggestions for the Chinese government in this regard

Firstly, try to separate marriage and childbirth as much as possible

Currently, there are statistics

In countries like France, 40% of newborns are born to unmarried families

They are not born into households with a father and a mother

They have completely separated the two

Because if you don't separate them, it means

The actual birth numbers would be even more abysmal

as a last resort, this measure was adopted

In a society, special care should be given to families with non-marital births

Not only should there be no discrimination, but also more care and welfare should be provided

I think the Chinese government can do this

They should encourage non-marital births

You don't have to get married

But even during the process of not getting married, you should be encouraged to have children

The second aspect

Is to provide more social hope to the current young people

If you can't make young people

feel that this is a hopeful society

They won't get married, they won't have children

the whole family has transitioned from being investment-oriented

and mutual support-oriented to being consumption-oriented

marriage itself has become a form of consumption

And for consumption, they must feel

they have sufficient hope for the future, only then will they dare to consume

If there is no hope for the future, they won't dare to consume

Including marriage, which is a form of consumption, they won't dare to consume

as for whether this can be achieved

I don't know

We can only wait for this society to give us such an answer

But what I want to say is

If this trend doesn't change

Then the entire future of China in the next 10 or 20 years

will be very pessimistic

Alright, that's all I have to say today. Thank you, everyone

"How enjoyable is life without getting married"

"I'm 36 years old this year, unmarried and childless"

"Living in a rental apartment of just a dozen square meters"

"No pressure of car loans or mortgage, no need for bride price"

"And not afraid of others saying I'm eating well while my whole family is not hungry"

"No need to bear the pressure of supporting a family"

In the past year, the total number of marriages in China dropped to 6.83 million couples, the lowest recorded since statistical data began in 1986. Moreover, over the past five years, it has consistently declined by nearly 10% annually. This sharp decline is not related to the pandemic; young people simply do not want to get married

"I'm turning 31 soon, still unmarried and childless"

"And I will never get married in this lifetime"

"Do you know how enjoyable life is without getting married?"

"No mother-in-law conflicts, no need to worry about cheating, no need to raise children"

"Sleep until naturally waking up in the morning"

"Earning a monthly salary of 30,000 in Beijing"

Traditional marriage served four functions: economic interaction, procreation, a channel for sexual expression, and emotional fulfillment. In modern society, the first three needs have been highly socialized. Therefore, the function of marriage is reduced to solely obtaining emotional fulfillment. However, emotions are both fickle and unreliable. Consequently, young people in modern industrialized countries, as a general trend, are increasingly unwilling to get married. This is a global phenomenon

"How enjoyable is life without getting married?"

"No need to buy a house if you don't get married"

"No burden of mortgage, all the bride price saved"

"Eating well while being alone"

"No pressure of supporting a family"

"There are five benefits to not getting married, first being freedom."

In China, the decline in marriage rates over the past five to six years can be attributed not only to universal factors but also to some specific reasons. These include intense competition in marriage and a pervasive sense of hopelessness among young people. Unless these issues are addressed, Chinese youth will continue to hesitate when it comes to marriage

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No," "Do you want to find a girlfriend then?"

"No", "why not?"

"Because I don't want to engage in something that consumes time and energy"

"Consumes time and energy"

"But wouldn't it be nice to have a girlfriend to have fun with?"

"No, it wouldn't"

本期英文字幕：毛豆腐