Speak Like A Leader: How To Actually Make People Respect You

Summary

The video script explores the leadership qualities of the fictional character Ted Lasso, highlighting his positive attitude and effective techniques that resonate with real-life leaders like Steve Jobs and Phil Jackson. It emphasizes the importance of making team members feel valued, aligning individual goals with team objectives, and fostering an environment where everyone can contribute ideas. The script also underscores the significance of creating lieutenants by allowing others to take credit for their work, actively seeking feedback for self-improvement, and demonstrating empathy to understand and motivate team members. Additionally, it discusses the role of celebrating others' successes, maintaining a balance between praise and consequences, and having a motivating vision that inspires action. The summary serves as an engaging overview, encouraging viewers to embrace these leadership traits for personal and professional growth.

Takeaways

• 🌟 **Making Everyone Matter**: A great leader ensures every team member feels valued, which is crucial for building loyalty and motivation.
• 🤝 **Alignment of Goals**: Leaders align their goals with those of their team members, creating a win-win situation where individual success contributes to the team's success.
• 📢 **Creating Lieutenants**: Encouraging others to lead and take initiative strengthens the entire team and fosters a culture of shared responsibility and innovation.
• 💡 **Openness to Ideas**: Good leaders are receptive to suggestions from all team members, understanding that the best ideas can come from anywhere.
• 🎓 **Empowering Others**: Leaders empower their team by giving them credit for their work, which boosts morale and encourages continued hard work and creativity.
• 🔍 **Seeking Feedback**: Leaders actively seek feedback, even if it's anonymous, to understand areas for improvement and to show a commitment to continuous growth.
• 🧘‍♂️ **Empathy in Leadership**: Understanding and empathizing with team members allows leaders to motivate them more effectively and tailor their approach to individual needs.
• 🎉 **Celebrating Success**: Recognizing and celebrating the achievements of team members is important for maintaining a positive and motivated team environment.
• 🚫 **Consequences for Poor Performance**: Leaders establish clear consequences for poor actions, maintaining a balance between praise and discipline.
• 🌈 **Belief in a Vision**: A compelling vision motivates team members towards a common goal, and a leader's conviction in this vision is infectious and inspiring.
• 🔧 **Acceptance of Reality**: Leaders must be willing to acknowledge current shortcomings and work towards improvement, rather than living in denial or making excuses.

Q & A

What is the main trait of Ted Lasso's character that is highlighted in the video?

Ted Lasso is most well known for his wildly positive attitude.

Which real-life leaders are mentioned in the video as using techniques similar to Ted Lasso?

Steve Jobs, Larry Page, and Phil Jackson are mentioned as real-life leaders who use similar techniques as Ted Lasso.

What is the first sign of a great leader according to the video?

The first sign of a great leader is making everyone on the team feel like they matter.

How does Ted demonstrate the importance of making people feel valued?

Ted demonstrates this by asking the team's equipment manager for his name and remembering it, showing that even small gestures can make people feel valued.

What does Simon Sinek say is the test of a good leader?

Simon Sinek explains that a good leader is someone who genuinely cares about how someone's day is going when they ask.

What is the common mistake that most people make when trying to show genuine interest?

The common mistake is only showing genuine interest to their bosses or when talking to the most attractive person in a group, which can make others feel neglected.

How does Ted align his goals with Jamie Tartt's to make him a better team player?

Ted tells Jamie that turning his focus from 'me' to 'us' will help him reach his full potential, aligning Jamie's personal goals with the team's objectives.

What is the philosophy that Phil Jackson and Google's 20% project share?

The shared philosophy is that everyone is capable of good ideas and fostering an environment where everyone can contribute to leadership or innovation.

Why is it important for a leader to let people get credit for their work?

A good leader allows people to get credit for their work to foster a sense of pride, motivation, and increased effort in their tasks.

How does Ted demonstrate the importance of soliciting feedback for self-improvement?

Ted uses an anonymous suggestion box to gather feedback from his team, showing his willingness to improve and adapt based on their input.

What is a key aspect of being a good leader in terms of understanding the people you lead?

A good leader should have empathy and be able to understand the people they lead, which helps in aligning incentives, motivating them, and predicting their success in projects.

Why is it crucial for a leader to celebrate other people's wins?

Celebrating other people's wins is important because it makes people feel appreciated and excited to follow the leader, which is essential for maintaining a motivated and loyal team.

Outlines

00:00

😀 The Power of Positive Leadership

This paragraph introduces the character Ted Lasso and his positive attitude, which is a central theme of the video. It discusses how Ted's leadership style, though fictional, mirrors that of real-life successful leaders like Steve Jobs and Larry Page. The summary highlights the importance of making every team member feel valued and the significance of genuine interest in others, as illustrated by Ted's interaction with the equipment manager and the insights from author Simon Sinek. It also touches on the concept of aligning personal goals with team objectives and the role of a leader in fostering an environment where everyone can contribute and grow.

05:00

🤔 Encouraging Creativity and Openness

The second paragraph delves into how great leaders create 'lieutenants' by fostering an environment where everyone can be a leader. It references Phil Jackson's philosophy of nurturing leadership skills in everyone, from rookies to veterans. The summary also mentions Google's 20% time policy and how it has led to significant innovations. It emphasizes the importance of being open to ideas from others and allowing team members to take credit for their contributions. The paragraph also discusses the value of soliciting feedback, using an anonymous suggestion box as an example, and the role of empathy in understanding and motivating team members.

10:01

🎉 Celebrating Success and Balancing Consequences

This paragraph focuses on the importance of celebrating others' achievements and the need for a balanced approach to leadership that includes both praise and consequences for poor actions. It contrasts the behavior of good and bad leaders in terms of their emotional reactions to team performance. The summary also discusses the concept of a motivating vision and the story of how Steve Jobs convinced John Scully to join Apple. It highlights the need for conviction in a leader's vision and the importance of acknowledging current reality as a prerequisite for improvement.

15:01

📚 Charisma University: Building Confidence and Charisma

The final paragraph shifts focus to an advertisement for Charisma University, a 30-day online program designed to build confidence and charismatic habits. The summary outlines the benefits of the program, including its structured approach and money-back guarantee. It shares testimonials from participants who have experienced improvements in their social skills, work life, and personal relationships as a result of the course. The paragraph encourages viewers to consider the program if they wish to enhance their charisma and confidence.

Keywords

💡Leadership

Leadership is the act of guiding a group of people towards achieving a common goal. In the video, it is the central theme, with examples such as Ted Lasso using techniques similar to real-life leaders like Steve Jobs and Phil Jackson to inspire and motivate his team.

💡Positive Attitude

A positive attitude is a mindset that focuses on the good and the possible, rather than the negative or the challenges. Ted Lasso is known for his wildly positive attitude, which is a key trait he uses to lead his team and influence those around him.

💡Making People Matter

Making people feel like they matter is a core part of leadership. In the script, Ted demonstrates this by asking the equipment manager's name and remembering it, which is a small but significant act that shows he values each individual on his team.

💡Aligning Goals

Aligning goals means getting individuals to work towards objectives that are beneficial for both themselves and the team. Ted aligns his goals with Jamie Tartt's by encouraging him to turn his focus from 'me' to 'us', which is a sign of a natural leader.

💡Creating Lieutenants

Creating lieutenants involves setting up other people to become leaders. This is shown when Ted encourages Nate to share and stand by his own ideas, which helps to foster a sense of ownership and leadership within the team.

💡Openness to Ideas

A good leader is genuinely open to ideas from others, even if they are outside of their own thinking. This is illustrated when Ted asks his team for new ideas for his offense and is willing to listen to suggestions from all team members, regardless of their position.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is a key leadership trait as it helps a leader to motivate and connect with their team. Ted shows empathy by recognizing that a player's struggles might be due to factors other than lack of talent.

💡Celebrating Wins

Celebrating wins is important for recognizing and appreciating the efforts and achievements of team members. Ted is shown to be enthusiastic in praising and rewarding people, which helps to create a positive and motivated team environment.

💡Motivating Vision

A motivating vision is a compelling picture of the future that inspires and drives a team towards a common goal. The video references Steve Jobs' ability to motivate John Scully to leave Pepsi to join Apple with a vision of changing the world.

💡Feedback

Feedback is essential for self-improvement and growth. In the script, Ted uses an anonymous suggestion box to gather feedback from his team, showing his willingness to listen and adapt to improve as a leader.

💡Accepting Reality

Accepting reality involves acknowledging the current state or situation honestly, which is a crucial step towards improvement. Ted acknowledges that his team is not in a good place and needs to change, demonstrating a leader's ability to face challenges head-on.

Highlights

Ted Lasso's positive attitude is a key aspect of his character and leadership style.

Ted demonstrates leadership techniques used by real-life leaders like Steve Jobs, Larry Page, and Phil Jackson.

A sign of a great leader is making everyone on the team feel like they matter.

Author Simon Sinek emphasizes the importance of genuine interest in others as a core part of leadership.

Ted believes everyone is part of the team and aims to create a bond among team members.

Ted aligns personal goals with team goals to motivate players like Jamie Tartt.

A good leader creates lieutenants by setting up others to become leaders.

Ted encourages team members to contribute ideas, fostering an environment of shared leadership.

Phil Jackson's leadership philosophy involved nurturing everyone's leadership skills.

Google's 20% Project allowed employees to work on their own ideas, leading to significant innovations.

A good leader is open to ideas outside of their own and lets people get credit for their work.

Ted actively solicits feedback from the team to improve, even if it means facing negative comments.

Empathy is crucial for a leader to understand and motivate their team members.

Celebrating other people's wins is a habit of good leaders, making people feel appreciated.

Ted shows how to balance celebrating achievements with having consequences for poor actions.

A motivating vision is essential for a natural leader, as demonstrated by Steve Jobs.

Ted maintains belief in his team despite setbacks, showing conviction in a vision.

Leaders must acknowledge reality and their current state to improve and grow.

Charisma University is a program designed to help individuals improve their charisma and confidence.

Transcripts

the character ted lasso is probably most

well known for his wildly positive

attitude

ed higgins hey

three's a crowd hey that's a crowd i

don't mind being smack dab in the middle

of buddy this is an awesome trait that

we may cover in a future video but in

today's video we're actually going to

dive into leadership while the show is

pure fiction ted demonstrates techniques

that real-life leaders like steve jobs

larry page and phil jackson use to

achieve incredible success if you

already naturally do these things it's a

sign that under the right circumstances

you could be a fantastic leader although

people may not give you quite as much

loyalty as ted gets in the show

fellas i can watch you do this jaunty

north korean military thing you do all

day but i need a favor we'll die for you

coach okay so let's get into the details

of leading people and more specifically

being someone that people want to follow

we'll show some clips with plot spoilers

for season one but we won't touch on

season two

the first sign of a great leader is that

they make everyone on the team feel like

they matter the show illustrates this

well on ted's very first day as a coach

of his new team when he meets the team's

equipment manager you see a small habit

here but it's an important one so we're

supposed to meet with rebecca welton

yeah that's when i'm taking you oh look

at this guy one step ahead hey what's

your name by the way

me yeah

no one ever asked my name and then later

that day we see this you continue to

impress nathan

you remember my name

this may seem like cliche tv stuff but

making people feel like they matter is a

core part of being a leader author simon

sinek lays it out well in this next clip

he's explaining the test of a good

leader according to a marine corps

general he knows there's a three-star

general in the marine corps

he says his test for leadership and i

love this he goes his test really a good

leader is if you ask somebody how their

day is going you actually care about the

answer

the big mistake that most people make is

to only tap into that genuine interest

with their bosses or socially when

they're talking to the most attractive

person in a group this is a common

mistake and it hurts you twice

not only does it make the people you're

blowing off feel like you don't care it

also makes the people you're trying to

get to like you dislike you because it

creates the feeling that you're a taker

or a user you're only giving them

attention because you want something

from them so the best thing you can do

as a good person and for your own

self-interest is to make everyone feel

like they matter without weighing what

you think they'll be able to do for you

ted lays it out well here you guys see

the way i see it okay everybody in this

building part of the team part of afc

richmond team's gotta bond now while you

may consider everyone a part of the team

that doesn't mean that everyone else

automatically bought in or cares about

your goals as a leader in fact most

people probably care mostly about

themselves

ted star player jamie tartt takes this

to the extreme after he scores a goal

check it out and thanks to budding

superstar jamie tartt richmond are right

back in it at 2-1 in the 29th minute

what's he yelling

me

he's pointing at the name on his back

and repeatedly yelling me

now most people you're trying to lead

won't be quite so obvious about it but

that's probably not too far off from

some people's internal monologue so what

you want to do as a leader is align your

goals

instead of trying to get them to do

something that's good for you get them

to do something that's good for them

that also happens to be good for you

that's a sign of a natural leader you

don't try to persuade someone by talking

about what you want or need simply put

speak in you not i as a side note if you

want to be a great leader try to help

your teammates achieve their goals even

when it doesn't benefit you

the show demonstrates this very well ted

wants jamie to be more of a team player

but what jaime wants is to be considered

a great footballer listen to how ted

aligns their two goals and starts the

process of making jaime into both

i can honestly say you are the best

athlete i have ever coached you are

truly great at everything you do out

there

except for one thing

if you just figure out some way to

turn that me into us

this guy's the limit for you

this one speech doesn't magically

transform jaime overnight but it's a

start at least until rebecca sabotages

ted

now that said ultimately as a leader

your goal isn't just to get people to do

what you tell them a good litter creates

lieutenants they set up other people to

become leaders again let's turn to the

show just to see an example this clip is

from when ted was struggling to come up

with new ideas for his offense so i am

officially on the prowl for any new

ideas you hear oh

you got some night uh no uh so

uh no no god no never mind i'm sorry

come on now but you're one of us let's

go fire away what do you got okay

ted thinks anyone is capable of good

ideas and so he solicits nate to speak

up in this next clip you'll see that he

also forces nate to actually bet on

himself and his idea or have it thrown

out but you know what it's not very even

very good it's probably really bad you

know what's embarrassing even i'm sorry

nate i have a real tricky time hearing

folks that don't believe in themselves

so i'm gonna ask you real quick again do

you think this idea will work yeah i do

whoa

why are you screaming at us nate we're

right here

all right come on now walk us through it

this may also seem like something that

only works in a scripted tv show but

phil jackson one of the best nba coaches

of all time had a similar philosophy

here are a few quotes of his from his

book on leadership

i always tried to foster an environment

in which everybody played a leadership

role from the most unschooled rookie to

the veteran superstar the most effective

approach is to nurture everyone else's

leadership skills when i did that it

paradoxically strengthens my role as a

leader

this philosophy that anyone is capable

of a great idea is also similar to

google's 20 project before google's ipo

co-founder larry page codified the

project by saying we encourage our

employees to spend 20 percent of their

time working on whatever they think will

be most beneficial to google

and google credits this with some of

their biggest innovations you don't even

have to try every single idea that's

suggested to you in order to be a good

leader the sign of a good leader is if

you're genuinely open to ideas outside

of your own

there's another aspect to creating

lieutenants that the tv show does a good

job of showing watch this next clip for

an example of it after nate tries to

write a pre-game speech for ted

read through your thoughts yeah

they're great

and i agree with every last one

but i can't say this here

but i need to hear it i agree

that's why you're gonna do it

are you drunk

you're giving the pre-game talk you're

reading this

a good leader lets people get the credit

for what they've done a common mistake

people make when they're in charge of

something for the first time is to try

to hoard all the credit for themselves

but a good leader knows that if you feel

proud of your work you're going to work

harder and do better in that last

example ted read the speech and actually

made sure it was good

then he pushes nate to give it himself

and it's a huge step in nate's career

ted's lack of ego also lets him actively

solicit feedback and try to improve this

is one of the first things he does when

he gets to his new team and if the

internet has told us anything it's that

sometimes it's easier to speak our minds

anonymously

right so i asked nate here to make us a

good old-fashioned suggestion box

hey look at that yeah did it with my

niece she loves crafts yeah i love

glimpses into your personal life it's

lovely if you haven't seen the show this

comes at a time when ted knows he's not

very well liked by his new team to them

he's a random american coaching a sport

he knows nothing about but he still

makes it anonymous because he actually

wants to know how to improve his team

even if it means wading through a ton of

insulting comments to get there wanker

let's see what else we got

piss off wanker

i hope you choke on a big mac good thing

these are anonymous you know roy signed

that one right oh here's a good one

shower pressure is rubbish

even if you're not currently a leader

this idea of soliciting feedback is one

of the most powerful self-improvement

exercises you can do

for example you can do a blind spot

circle

that's where you sit down with a group

of close friends and ask them for honest

feedback on what they think your blind

spots are this can be terrifying it can

lead to things you don't want to hear

and it can be an incredible catalyst for

making positive change in your life

it works so well because if one person

tells you constructive criticism you

probably have the urge to fight it or

ignore it disagree

but if five close friends all have the

same feedback it's hard not to at least

consider it deeply just make sure to do

this with a group of people who respect

you and whose opinions you respect

another sign of a natural leader is

having the empathy to understand the

people you lead simply put if you can

put yourself in their shoes you'll know

how to get the best out of them

if a leader isn't able to do this they

need to create a lieutenant who can do

it for them here's a quick clip from the

show to illustrate the point notice that

ted's assistant coach is quick to assume

a struggling player just doesn't have

talent but ted's empathy clues him in to

that it might be something else yes it's

nigeria

maybe the membership's too much fun no

he just needs to get a little more comfy

here that's all only turns 20 on

saturday there we go birthday you know

we'll do something special for him nudge

that ship in the right direction yeah

different things motivate different

people some need tough love some need

positive reinforcement some need a mix

of both some people need to be told

exactly what to do and others excel when

given a goal and freedom to achieve it

however they see fit if you want to be a

good leader take the time to understand

what motivates someone

if you can empathize with someone

instead of demonizing them you'll be

better at aligning incentives rewarding

them motivating them and predicting what

projects they'll succeed at

once you do empower someone to succeed

the next habit of a good leader comes

into play celebrate other people's wins

a theme you've probably already noticed

is that if you want to be a good leader

you need to get people excited to follow

you part of that process that many

leaders ignore is making people feel

appreciated the show does a good job of

highlighting the power of this albeit

with over-the-top enthusiasm because it

is still a tv show

ted loves to praise and reward people

who are helpful for instance he

celebrates rebecca for helping to block

a bad paparazzi photo so i spoke to the

owner of the sun you spoke to god

no the newspaper oh and he has agreed to

not run the photo of you and keely

mvp

mvp

left leg

yes yes okay thank you ted sorry yeah

bad leaders actually get their emotional

reactions backwards they react to good

work with mild praise and they save

their big emotional reactions for when

they're yelling at people because they

screwed up

now that said as a leader you do need to

create an environment where bad actions

have consequences but the key is to do

it in a matter-of-fact way and not

become someone who takes joy in

punishing other people this next scene

shows it well for context if you don't

watch the show jaime is faking an injury

here in protest of being moved to the

bench and he's basically refusing to

practice unless he starts

tell you what do me a favor will you get

out there

set the cones so the other reserves

could do a little passing drill

i will say it's quite nice seeing jamie

put in his place forms thrilling even no

no no no this is a no shot in freud zone

right nine chardon freud all right being

able to strike that balance of

celebrating when people do well and

having consequences for if they do

something bad is a sign of strong

leadership

now these last two habits are signs of a

natural leader that have less to do with

other people and more to do with your

own mindset the first is a belief in a

motivating vision steve jobs has the

best iconic story of this when steve was

young and needed an all-star ceo for

apple he was able to poach john scully

from pepsi this was a huge win because

at the time pepsi was much larger and

more well regarded so how is steve jobs

able to convince john to quit and come

to apple

listen to john describe what happened

and then he looked up at me and just

stared at me with this stare that only

steve jobs has and

he said

do you want to sell sugar water for the

rest of your life or do you want to come

with me and change the world

by framing pepsi as a company that just

makes sugar water steve reframes his job

offer this isn't about money or prestige

anymore it's not about which company is

bigger it's about doing something that's

meaningful

quote unquote motivating people towards

a random goal they don't care about will

be a constant battle against inaction

because they don't care about what

you're trying to achieve

you also heard there how john

specifically mentions steve's eye

contact that's because it's not just

about saying you're going to do

something big anyone can do that it's

about sub-communicating with your

non-verbals that you really believe

it'll happen in a word it's conviction

ted shows that belief in his team even

after suffering a season-ending loss and

demotion to a lower league so the next

year we get ourselves a promotion which

looks good on any resume

then we come back to this league and

we do something that no one believes we

could ever do

win the whole [ __ ] thing

there you

are that said don't deny reality this is

a major mistake some people make when

first becoming a leader they want to be

optimistic and show they have faith in

their team so they pretend things are

going better than they actually are you

cannot get where you want to go until

you admit where you currently are

the show writers knew that even the

eternal optimist ted couldn't believably

turn around a team without acknowledging

that they're not in a good place and

they need to shake things up you can

watch the scene here got ourselves a tie

game

that's work

fellas

we're broken

we need to change if you're unwilling to

admit where you're weak or what areas of

your life aren't where you want them to

be then you'll never be able to put the

work in to get better this is something

a lot of people struggle with especially

when it relates to things like

leadership confidence and social skills

it's extremely common to tell yourself

lies like well i didn't get that

promotion because life's unfair it's

harder to admit i didn't get it because

i don't do great work or i don't have

the people skills to make my boss like

me

similarly it's easy to go to a bar and

tell your friends no one here is

attractive it's harder to admit yes that

person is attractive but i'm scared to

talk to them

before you can improve you need to be

able to take an honest assessment of

where you are and how near or far you

actually are from where you want to be

does that ring true or strike a nerve is

there an area in your own life where you

secretly wish you were doing better

acknowledge it accept it even if you

don't like it and that will allow you to

improve in that area now depending on

what that area is you may like our

30-day program on charisma and

confidence charisma and confidence

aren't a magical cure-all for all your

problems although i wish i could say

they are but if you're someone that

wishes you had more friends or stronger

friendships a better dating life better

relationships at work a promotion or the

ability to crush an interview for a new

job those are goals that taking your

charisma and confidence the next level

will help you achieve if that's you

check out charisma university it's a

step-by-step 30 day online program it

only takes 20 to 30 minutes a day and it

comes with a daily action guide that

tells you exactly what to do each day to

build unshakable confidence and build

charismatic habits you start doing

without even thinking about it there's

two main differences between charisma

university and our youtube videos the

first is that sequential setup there's

no guesswork in terms of how to build

your charisma it's all laid out for you

in the easiest way possible the second

is it's literally guaranteed to change

your life if you don't think it's worth

every penny you can give yourself a 100

refund just by clicking a button inside

the program as of now we've had 8 000

people go through the course and get a

ton out of it i'd love for you to do the

same people write us about new

promotions new jobs new friends new

confidence even marriages that they say

would never have happened without

charisma university i had confidence in

some areas but not in others then

charisma university changed that for me

since beginning the program i have seen

noticeable changes in my life it has

helped me unlock the confidence that

comes with knowing that i can go into

any social situation and crush it it

costs less than half the price of one

course at my college but it has had a

far bigger impact on me than any

traditional class i've enrolled in

another member wrote in i've always been

bad at expressing myself in situations

that weren't one-on-one in conversations

i find myself hesitant to speak or i get

caught in my own head overthinking

things after cu i am now way more

confident in saying what i think and how

i feel even in bigger group settings i

feel much more happy all the time i was

even able to talk to a woman i've had a

crush on for about a year and made a

great first impression overall i love

this course and i keep going back to it

when i need a refresher on the daily

action modules and lastly one member

writes thank you so much for this

program after going through charisma

i've made more friends have higher

self-esteem and can more easily talk to

people i don't know i've solidified my

values and i know who i am if you want

to see if the program is right for you

you can click the link on screen now or

in the description below to learn more

about it

either way i hope you enjoyed this video

i really appreciate you taking the time

to watch it and i hope to see you in the

next one