Someone you love could be a sex worker | Valerie Scott | TEDxToronto

Summary

The speaker, a sex worker, shares their personal story and challenges the stigma surrounding sex work. They discuss common misconceptions, the diverse lives of sex workers, and the dangers posed by current laws that criminalize their clients. Highlighting the humanity of sex workers, they call for decriminalization and equal rights, using New Zealand's laws as a successful example. Through their story, they seek to shift societal judgment to respect and curiosity, advocating for dignity and rights for all workers, regardless of their career choice.

Takeaways

• 💡 Sex workers have dreams just like everyone else, but the stigma and laws around their work often make those dreams unattainable.
• 👊 Sex workers constantly fight for their safety, rights, and the ability to choose their career freely.
• 🤔 There are many misconceptions about sex workers, such as assumptions that they are forced into the profession or lack other opportunities.
• 👥 Sex workers are part of everyday communities – they are spouses, parents, and neighbors, present in ordinary spaces like grocery stores and schools.
• 📺 The speaker’s desire to become a sex worker came from media influences, specifically from TV shows like Westerns, which portrayed strong, independent women.
• 🕒 Sex work offers flexibility and autonomy, allowing workers to set their own hours, fees, and boundaries with clients.
• 👨‍👩‍👧 Sex workers' clients come from all walks of life, and many seek more than just sex – some are seeking emotional intimacy or companionship.
• ⚖️ The laws in Canada, which criminalize clients and force sex workers into dangerous situations, make it harder for them to ensure their safety.
• 💔 The speaker shares personal stories of violence and loss in the industry, emphasizing the dangers sex workers face under current legal structures.
• 🌏 Decriminalization, as seen in New Zealand, has led to decreased violence against sex workers and better legal protections, offering a model for other countries to follow.

Q & A

What is the speaker's main dream?

The speaker dreams of being able to have an apartment in her own name, her own credit card, and the ability to open a tax-free savings account to start a business. She hopes to achieve this despite the barriers she faces due to being a sex worker.

How does the speaker describe the stigma surrounding sex work?

The speaker highlights that there is a strong stigma associated with sex work, making it difficult for people in her profession to be open about their jobs. This stigma leads to assumptions, such as the belief that sex workers are forced into the profession or lack other opportunities.

What inspired the speaker to become a sex worker?

The speaker was inspired by TV westerns as a young girl, specifically the colorful and independent lives of saloon girls who seemed to have their own money and freedom, in contrast to the restricted lives of Cowboys' wives.

What myths about sex workers does the speaker address?

The speaker addresses myths such as the idea that sex workers are either glamorous individuals living in luxury or addicts living in poor conditions. She emphasizes that sex workers are regular people who lead ordinary lives.

How does the speaker view her work as a sex worker?

The speaker sees sex work as her choice of career and notes that she enjoys it. She appreciates the flexibility it offers, such as choosing her own hours, setting her own fees, and deciding whom she sees.

Who does the speaker identify as her clients?

The speaker's clients come from various walks of life, including doctors, teachers, policemen, programmers, and more. They are ordinary men seeking intimacy through straightforward sexual encounters.

What are some emotional experiences the speaker has had with clients?

The speaker shares that some clients seek emotional comfort rather than just sex. For example, she once held a client who was grieving his late wife, offering him emotional support rather than a sexual service.

What dangers do sex workers face due to current laws?

Due to current laws, particularly those similar to the Swedish model, sex workers face increased danger. Clients are hesitant to reveal their identities, making it harder for sex workers to screen for predators. This creates more opportunities for sexual predators to harm them.

What does the speaker suggest about decriminalization?

The speaker advocates for the decriminalization of sex work, citing New Zealand's 2003 decision as a positive example. In New Zealand, violence against sex workers has decreased, and they have both rights and responsibilities, such as paying taxes.

What is the speaker's final message about society and sex work?

The speaker calls for society to evolve by offering sex workers the same rights and respect as other workers. She emphasizes the importance of moving away from moral judgment and toward curiosity, respect, and understanding that sex workers are human beings deserving of basic rights.