You Are Not Special Commencement Speech from Wellesley High School

Summary

In this commencement speech, the speaker humorously challenges the notion that high school graduates are 'special' by highlighting the ubiquity of accolades and the pressure to achieve. He urges students to seek genuine achievement over mere recognition, to read extensively, develop moral sensibility, and pursue their passions with a sense of urgency. The speech concludes with the paradoxical idea that selflessness is the key to personal fulfillment and that true success comes from focusing on things greater than oneself.

Takeaways

• 🎓 **Commencement Significance**: Commencement is a forward-looking ceremony that signifies the beginning of a new phase in life, unlike weddings which are more about the bride.
• 🤔 **Reality Check**: The speaker reminds graduates that they are not inherently special or exceptional, despite the accolades and achievements they have received.
• 🌍 **Perspective on Scale**: The script highlights the vastness of the world and universe, putting the individual's significance into perspective.
• 🏆 **Trophies and Achievement**: It critiques the culture of giving everyone a trophy, which dilutes the meaning of achievement and success.
• 📈 **Standards and Excellence**: The speech suggests that lowering standards to make everyone feel good is detrimental to genuine accomplishment.
• 📚 **Value of Education**: Education should be about the love of learning, not just material advantage or social status.
• 📖 **Importance of Reading**: Reading is emphasized as a staple of life, a principle, and a means of self-respect and moral sensibility.
• 💪 **Work Ethic**: The speech encourages graduates to work hard and pursue what they love and believe in, rather than settling for complacency.
• 🌟 **Dream Big**: It inspires graduates to dream big, think independently, and live a life that is distinctive and relevant.
• ⏰ **Urgency of Time**: The script stresses the urgency of time, encouraging graduates to act now and make the most of every moment.
• 🤝 **Selflessness**: The greatest joy in life comes from selflessness, and the pursuit of happiness should be active and not just for personal gain.

Q & A

What is the speaker's overall message in the commencement speech?

The speaker's main message is that while graduation is an important milestone, graduates should not believe they are inherently special or exceptional simply because they completed high school. Instead, they should focus on living meaningful, purposeful lives, driven by passion, curiosity, and selflessness.

How does the speaker contrast weddings and commencements?

The speaker humorously contrasts weddings with commencements, saying that weddings are one-sided, bride-centric ceremonies with a high rate of failure (divorce), while commencements always succeed in marking an important life achievement.

Why does the speaker emphasize that 'none of you is special'?

The speaker emphasizes that 'none of you is special' to challenge the culture of over-praising and awarding participation trophies, suggesting that being told one is special without earning it diminishes the value of real achievement and self-discovery.

What does the speaker imply about the value of accolades?

The speaker implies that modern society places too much value on accolades and external recognition, often prioritizing them over genuine accomplishment and personal growth. He warns against seeking validation through awards rather than through hard work and the joy of learning.

How does the speaker use the concept of 'one in a million' to make a point?

The speaker uses the 'one in a million' concept to show that even if someone is unique, on a planet with 6.8 billion people, there would still be about 7,000 others just like them. This highlights the idea that individuality is relative and that simply being unique does not make one exceptional.

What does the speaker say about the nature of education?

The speaker believes that education should be about more than achieving material advantages. Instead, it should focus on the exhilaration of learning, gaining wisdom, and recognizing how much more there is to learn.

What advice does the speaker give about choosing work and pursuing passion?

The speaker advises the graduates to only do work they love and believe in, and not to settle for work that doesn't resonate with them. He also warns against complacency and encourages them to find their passion actively, rather than waiting for it to come to them.

How does the speaker define living a fulfilling life?

The speaker defines a fulfilling life as one filled with meaningful achievements and purpose, not materialistic rewards or accolades. It comes from pursuing challenging, enriching experiences and contributing positively to others, rather than seeking external validation.

What does the speaker mean by 'selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself'?

The speaker suggests that true happiness and fulfillment come from helping others and living a life focused on contributions to the world. This selflessness, in turn, benefits the individual by bringing deeper joy and satisfaction.

What is the significance of the speaker's statement 'you're not special because everyone is'?

The speaker means that if everyone is considered special, then the term loses its meaning. Instead of relying on the idea of being special, graduates should focus on what they do and how they contribute, which will make their lives extraordinary.

Outlines

00:00

🎓 Commencement Address: The Illusion of Specialness

The speaker begins by expressing gratitude for the opportunity to address the Wellesley High School class of 2012. They humorously compare commencement to weddings, emphasizing the forward-looking nature of graduation ceremonies. The speaker then discusses the symbolism of the event, noting the uniformity of the graduates' attire and diplomas, which signifies that no one is inherently special. They challenge the notion of individual exceptionalism by pointing out that everyone has been pampered and supported, and that empirical evidence shows there are many others just like each graduate. The speaker uses statistics to show the ubiquity of valedictorians and class presidents, suggesting that if everyone is special, then no one is. They also touch on societal pressures and the fear of insignificance that drives the pursuit of accolades over genuine achievement.

05:02

🌌 The Humbling Perspective of Scale

In this paragraph, the speaker broadens the perspective to the vastness of the universe, reminding graduates that they are not the center of it. They use humor to illustrate the point that if everyone is special, then the term loses its meaning. The speaker also addresses the American obsession with accolades over actual achievement, suggesting that this has led to a lowering of standards and a misunderstanding of what constitutes success. They criticize the idea that building a resume is more important than genuinely helping others and urge graduates to pursue what they love and believe in, rather than what will simply look good on paper. The speaker emphasizes the importance of education for its own sake and the joy of learning, rather than for material gain.

10:03

💪 The Pursuit of an Extraordinary Life

The speaker concludes by encouraging graduates to live life actively and purposefully. They quote historical figures and authors to inspire action, exploration, and the pursuit of challenges. The speaker warns against the passive consumption of life and the pursuit of superficial achievements. They advocate for selflessness, suggesting that the greatest joy in life comes from contributing to the world and the people in it. The speaker concludes by congratulating the graduates and urging them to make the most of their lives, not for their own sake, but for the sake of others and future generations.

Keywords

💡Commencement

Commencement refers to the formal ceremony held to celebrate the completion of a course of study and the conferring of degrees. In the context of the video, it is the starting point for graduates to embark on their new journey beyond high school. The script emphasizes that commencement is a 'great, forward-looking ceremony' that is successful every time, unlike other life events such as weddings.

💡Special

The term 'special' is used to convey uniqueness or distinction. The video challenges the notion that each individual is inherently special, suggesting instead that everyone is ordinary until they achieve something noteworthy. The script uses this term to critique the culture of over-praising and over-celebrating, which dilutes the meaning of true achievement.

💡Darwinian competition

Darwinian competition refers to the concept of natural selection and the struggle for existence, adapted here to describe the societal drive for recognition and status. The script mentions this to illustrate how people compete for accolades and how this competition can lead to a compromise of standards.

💡Materialism

Materialism in the script refers to the emphasis on physical possessions and wealth as measures of success. It is presented as a trap that can lead to complacency and self-satisfaction, diverting individuals from pursuing more meaningful achievements.

💡Accolades

Accolades are praises or honors given for an achievement. The video discusses how society has come to value accolades over genuine accomplishment, leading to a focus on recognition rather than the effort and growth that come from striving for excellence.

💡Insignificance

Insignificance is the state of being unimportant or having no impact. The script touches on the fear of insignificance as a driving force behind the desire for accolades and recognition, suggesting that people seek external validation to combat a sense of unimportance.

💡Pursuit of happiness

The 'pursuit of happiness' is a phrase from the United States Declaration of Independence, indicating the right to seek individual joy and fulfillment. The video uses this term to encourage graduates to actively seek out happiness in their lives, not as a passive recipient of good fortune.

💡Selflessness

Selflessness is the quality of unselfish concern for the welfare of others. The script argues that true joy comes from selflessness, as individuals find fulfillment not in their own achievements but in contributing positively to the lives of others.

💡Moral sensibility

Moral sensibility refers to an individual's capacity to perceive and judge what is right or wrong. The video encourages graduates to develop a strong moral compass and to apply it in their actions, suggesting that ethical behavior is crucial for leading a meaningful life.

💡Cessations

Cessations imply an ending or a stopping, often used in contrast to commencements. The script uses the term to remind graduates of the inevitability of life's end, urging them to live fully and meaningfully, making the most of the time they have.

💡Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem is a Latin phrase meaning 'seize the day'. The video references this expression to encourage graduates to take action and make the most of every opportunity, rather than waiting for inspiration or circumstances to align perfectly.

Highlights

Commencement is life's great ceremonial beginning with its own symbolism and meaning.

This ceremony, unlike weddings, works every time; you will stay forever graduated from high school.

The uniform worn during commencement symbolizes equality — everyone is dressed exactly the same.

Contrary to popular belief, you are not special despite the many trophies and accolades you may have received.

With 3.2 million seniors graduating across the country, if everyone is special, then no one is.

The speaker critiques the current culture of valuing accolades over genuine achievement.

Building a medical clinic should be about the well-being of others, not to boost a college application.

Wellesley High is not immune to the epidemic of compromising standards for accolades.

The phrase 'one of the best' is used often to make us feel special, but by definition, only one can be the best.

The pursuit of education should be about the exhilaration of learning, not material advantage.

You should do things you love and believe in, rather than focusing solely on the outcome or accolades.

Resist complacency and the pursuit of materialism; instead, focus on personal growth and meaning.

Reading should be a fundamental part of life — it builds self-respect and wisdom.

Live with urgency and passion, knowing that time is limited, and every day matters.

Selflessness is the most fulfilling pursuit — doing good for others brings the greatest joy.

Transcripts

dr. Wong dr. Keough missus Nowakowski

miss Curran members of the Board of

Education family and friends of the

graduates ladies and gentlemen of the

Wellesley high school class of 2012 the

privilege of speaking to you this

afternoon I'm honored and grateful thank

you so here we are

commencement life's great

forward-looking ceremony and don't say

what about weddings weddings are

one-sided and insufficiently effective

weddings are bride centric pageantry

other than conceding to a list of

unreasonable demands the groom just

stands there no stately hey everybody

look at me procession no being given

away no identity changing pronouncement

and can you imagine a television show

dedicated to watching guys try on

tuxedos their father's sitting there

misty eyed with joy and disbelief their

brothers lurking in the corner muttering

with envy left two men weddings would be

after limits testing procrastination

spontaneous almost inadvertent during

halftime on the way to the refrigerator

and then there's the frequency of

failure statistics tell us half of you

will get divorced

a winning percentage like that'll get

you last place in the American League

East the Baltimore Orioles do better

than weddings but this ceremony

commencement a commencement works every

time from this day forward truly in

sickness and in health through financial

Fiasco's through midlife crises and

passively attractive sales reps at trade

shows in Cincinnati parents go through

diminishing tolerance for annoyingness

through every difference your

reconcilable and otherwise you will stay

forever graduated from high school you

and your diploma as one till death do

you part

now commencement is life's great

ceremonial beginning with its own

attended and highly appropriate

symbolism fitting for example this for

this auspicious rite of passage is where

we find ourselves this afternoon the

venue normally I avoid cliches like the

plague wouldn't touch them with a

ten-foot pole but here we are on a

literal level playing field that matters

that says something and your ceremonial

costume shapeless uniform one size fits

all whether male or female tall or short

scholar or slacker spray-tanned prom

queen or intergalactic xbox assassin

each of you is dressed you'll notice

exactly the same and your diploma but

for your name exactly the same all of

this is as it should be because none of

you is special

you're not special you're not

exceptional contrary to what you're you

nine soccer trophies suggests you're

you're glowing 7th grade report card

despite every assurance of a certain

corpulent purple dinosaur that nice mr.

Rogers and your batty on Sylvia no

matter how often your paternal Caped

Crusader is swooped in to save you you

are nothing special yes you've been

pampered cosseted doted upon helmeted

bubble-wrapped yes capable adults with

other things to do have held you kissed

you fed you wiped your mouth wiped your

bottom trained you taught you tutored

you coached you listened to you

counseled you encouraged you consoled

you and encouraged you again

you've been nudged cajoled wheedled and

implored you've been fetid and fond over

and called sweetie pie yes you have and

certainly we've been to your games your

plays your recitals your science fairs

absolutely smiles ignite when you walk

into a room and hundreds gasp with the

light at your every tweet way maybe

you've even had your picture in the

townsmen and now you've conquered high

school and indisputably here we all have

gathered for you the pride and joy of

this fine community the first to emerge

from that magnificent new building but

do not get the idea you're anything

special because you're not the empirical

evidence is everywhere numbers even an

English teacher can't ignore Newton

Natick neat I'm allowed to say Needham

yes that has to be 2000 high school

graduates right there give or take and

that's just the neighborhood ends across

the country no fewer than 3.2 million

seniors are graduating about now for

more than 37 thousand high schools

that's 37,000 valedictorians that's

37,000 class presidents 92 thousand

harmonizing Altos 340 thousand

swaggering jocks two million one hundred

eighty-five thousand nine hundred six

see seven pairs of Uggs but why limit

ourselves to highschool after all you're

leaving it so think about this even if

you're one in a million on a planet of

6.8 billion that means there are nearly

seven thousand people just like you

imagine standing somewhere over there on

Washington Street on Marathon Monday

watching 6,800 yous go running by and

consider for a moment the bigger picture

your planet I'll remind you is not the

center of its solar system your solar

system is not the center of its galaxy

your galaxy is not the center of the

universe in fact astrophysicists are

sure us the universe has no center

therefore you cannot be it neither can

Donald Trump which someone should tell

him

although the hair is quite a phenomenon

but Dave you cry what Whitman tells me

my I'm my own version of perfect the

picked it just tells me I have the spark

of Zeus and I don't disagree

so that makes 6.8 billion examples of

perfection 6.8 billion sparks of Zeus

you see if everyone is special then no

one is if everyone gets a trophy

trophies become meaningless in our

unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian

competition with one another which

Springs I think from our fear of our own

insignificance a subset of our dread of

mortality we have of late we Americans

to our detriment come to love accolades

more than genuine achievement we have

come to see them as the point and we're

happy to compromise standards or ignore

reality if we suspect that's the

quickest way or only way to have

something to put on the mantelpiece

something to pose with crow about

something with which to leverage

ourselves into a better spot on the

social totem pole no longer is it how

you play the game no longer is it even

whether you win or lose or learn or grow

or enjoy yourself doing it now it's so

what does this get me as a consequence

as a consequence we've cheap and worthy

endeavor

and building a Guatemalan medical clinic

becomes more about the application to

Boden than the well-being of Guatemalans

it's an epidemic and in its way not even

dear old Wellesley High is immune one of

the best of the 37,000 nationwide

Wellesley High School where good is no

longer good enough where Abby is the new

C and the mid-level curriculum is called

advanced college placement and I hope

you caught me when I said one of the

best I said one of the best so we can

feel better about ourselves so he can

bask in a little easy distinction

however vague and unverifiable and count

ourselves among the elite whoever they

might be and enjoy a perceived leg up on

the perceived competition but the phrase

defies logic

by definition there can be only one best

you're it or you're not if you've

learned anything in your four years I

hope it's that education before should

before rather than material advantage

the exhilaration of learning you've

learned - I hope as Sophocles assured us

that wisdom is the chief element of

happiness second is ice-cream just just

an FYI

I also hope you've learned enough to

recognize how little you know how little

you know now at the moment for today is

just the beginning

it's where you go from here that matters

as you commence then and before you

scatter to the winds I urge you to do

whatever you do for no reason other than

you love it and believe in its

importance don't bother with work you

love work you don't believe in any more

than you would a spouse you're not crazy

about lest you to find yourself on the

wrong side of a Baltimore Orioles

comparison resist the easy comforts of

complacency the specious glitter of

materialism the narcotic paralysis of

self-satisfaction be worthy of your

advantages and read read all the time

read as a matter of principle as a

matter of self-respect read as a

nourishing staple of life develop and

protect a moral sensibility and

demonstrate the character to apply it

dream big work hard think for yourself

love everything you love everyone you

love with all your might and do so

please with a sense of urgency

for every tick of the clock subtracts

from fewer and fewer and as surely as

there are commencements there are

cessations and you'll be in no condition

to enjoy the ceremony attendant to that

eventualities no matter no matter how

delightful the afternoon the fulfilling

life the distinctive life the relevant

life is an achievement not something

that will fall into your lap because

you're a nice person or mommy ordered it

from the caterer you'll note the

founding fathers took pains to secure

your inalienable right to life liberty

and the pursuit of happiness quite an

active verb pursuit which leaves I

should think little time for lying

around watching parrots rollerskate on

YouTube the first President Roosevelt

the old Rough Rider advocated the

strenuous life mr. Thoreau wanted to

drive life into a corner to live deep

and suck out all the marrow the poet

Mary Oliver tells us to row row into the

swirl and royal locally someone I forget

who from time to time encourages young

scholars to carpe the heck out of the

diem the point is the same get busy have

at it don't wait for inspiration or

passion to find you get up get out

explore find it yourself

grab hold with both hands now before you

dash off and get your Yolo tattoo

let me point out the illogic of that

trendy little expression because you can

and should live not merely once but

every day of your life rather than you

only live once it should be you live

only once but because alou doesn't have

the same ring we shrug and decide it

doesn't matter none of this day sees him

though this alluring should be

interpreted as license for

self-indulgence like accolades ought to

be the fulfilled life is a consequence

gratifying by-product it's what happens

when you're thinking about more

important things

climb the mountain not to plant your

flag but to embrace the challenge enjoy

the air and behold the view climate so

you can see the world not so the world

can see you go to Paris to be in Paris

not to cross it off your list and

congratulate yourself for being worldly

exercise free will and creative

independent thought not for the

satisfactions they will bring you but

for the good they will do others the

rest of the 6.8 billion and those who

will follow them and then you too will

discover the great and curious truth of

the human experience is that

selflessness is the best thing you can

do for yourself the sweetest joys of

life them then come only with the

recognition that you're not special

because everyone is congratulations good

luck make for yourselves please for your

sake and for ours extraordinary lives

[Applause]