How to break bad habits - talk with @ThePrimeagen Senior Software Engineer at Netflix
Summary
TLDRIn this personal and inspiring discussion, the speaker shares his journey through overcoming addiction, ADHD, and life challenges. He talks about the power of discipline, faith, and self-awareness, emphasizing the importance of making the right decisions moment by moment. The speaker recounts his transformation from struggling academically and battling substance abuse to finding success in both his career and personal life. He highlights how learning to control ADHD turned it into a superpower and discusses his career path, including landing a job at Netflix through hard work and luck.
Takeaways
- 👨👩👧👦 The speaker is a husband and father of four who balances family life, a day job in engineering, and streaming on Twitch.
- 💻 He uses his back brain to solve 80% of problems at work, streamlining his tasks to manage his time efficiently.
- 🚀 He has been diagnosed with ADHD, which he views as a superpower when combined with maturity, but acknowledges it can be a nightmare with excuses.
- 📚 His academic performance improved significantly from high school to college, where he became a high performer.
- 🛑 He overcame addictions and a troubled past, including an addiction to pornography and drugs, through a spiritual awakening and determination.
- 💪 He emphasizes the importance of controlling one's reactions based on what is right, rather than how one feels.
- 🏆 His success at Netflix was partly due to luck and partly due to his skills in rxjs, which he showcased on LinkedIn.
- 🗓️ He does not use any form of task management tools or agendas, believing that important tasks will naturally be remembered.
- 👨💻 He suggests that learning JavaScript for UI is an easy path to getting hired in the programming field due to high demand.
- 🌐 English is crucial for programmers, especially for those looking to work in the American business context.
- 🔑 He believes that discipline and self-control are key to overcoming challenges and achieving personal and professional success.
Q & A
What is the speaker's primary online activity on Twitch?
-The speaker primarily streams programming content on Twitch, and occasionally streams gaming.
How does the speaker manage his time with multiple responsibilities?
-The speaker manages his time by doing things swiftly and letting his 'back brain' solve 80% of the problems at his day job, so he knows exactly what to do and can do it as fast as possible.
Has the speaker been diagnosed with ADHD and how does he view it?
-Yes, the speaker has been diagnosed with ADHD. He views it as a superpower when combined with maturity, but as a nightmare when used as an excuse.
What was the speaker's academic performance like in high school and college?
-The speaker had a GPA of 2.16 in high school, which he believes is barely passing. However, he almost doubled his GPA in college.
What significant change did the speaker experience in college?
-The speaker had a significant change in college when he stopped engaging in addictive behaviors and started taking control of his life, which led to improved academic performance.
How did the speaker's religious beliefs influence his life change?
-The speaker became religious after a terrifying, yet real presence feeling with God that he was going to die if he continued his previous lifestyle.
What is the speaker's approach to overcoming addictions?
-The speaker's approach to overcoming addictions is to stop in the moment and to say no continuously, realizing that it's always a decision made in the moment.
How did the speaker get hired at Netflix?
-The speaker got hired at Netflix after listing a skill in rxjs on his LinkedIn, which caught the attention of a hiring manager. He attributes his success to a combination of preparation and luck.
What was the speaker's experience like at Schedulicity?
-The speaker had a negative experience at Schedulicity, describing it as a very hard job with a manipulative CEO.
How does the speaker stay organized in his work?
-The speaker does not use any form of task tracking or writing things down. He believes that important things will be remembered and less important things will be forgotten.
What advice does the speaker have for someone starting in computer science?
-The speaker recommends learning JavaScript for UI or middleware as it is an area with a lot of job opportunities. He also suggests considering Java due to its industry standard and demand.
Outlines
👨👩👧👦 Life as a Family Man and Streamer
The speaker introduces himself as a husband and father of four, balancing his life between engineering work and streaming on Twitch, focusing on programming and occasionally gaming. He discusses the challenge of managing his time and energy across his family, job, and streaming. The speaker also shares his experience with ADHD, viewing it as a superpower when combined with maturity, but cautions that without maturity, it can be detrimental. He reflects on his past struggles with addiction and how a spiritual experience led to a significant change in his life, resulting in him overcoming these addictions. He emphasizes the importance of self-control and making the right decisions.
🔄 Overcoming Challenges and Finding Balance
The individual discusses his journey of self-improvement, acknowledging past mistakes and his efforts to change. He talks about the realization of his addictive behaviors and the steps he took to overcome them, including a dramatic shift in attitude towards pornography and substance abuse. He also shares his experience with OCD tendencies and how he recognized and stopped these behaviors before they became a problem. The speaker highlights the importance of being in the moment and making immediate decisions to change, rather than waiting for a perfect time. He also touches on the idea that small changes can lead to significant shifts in one's life.
💼 Career Insights and Personal Growth
The speaker shares his professional journey, including his time at Schedulicity and how a chance encounter led to a better job opportunity. He reflects on the importance of hard work and the impact it had on shaping his career. He also discusses his approach to organization, or lack thereof, and how he prioritizes tasks based on importance. The individual offers advice for someone looking to break into computer science, recommending focusing on Javascript and UI development due to high demand and opportunities. He also suggests considering Java due to its industry standard and widespread use.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Twitch
💡ADHD
💡Maturity
💡High School GPA
💡College
💡Addiction
💡Religion
💡Discipline
💡Netflix
💡rxjs
💡JavaScript
Highlights
The speaker is a husband and father of four who balances work, family, and streaming on Twitch.
He works as an engineer and has a background in programming and occasional gaming.
He manages his busy life by being efficient at work, letting his subconscious solve problems.
The speaker has been diagnosed with ADHD, which he considers a superpower when combined with maturity.
He emphasizes the importance of controlling the energy within oneself for a productive life.
The speaker's academic performance improved significantly in college, going from a 2.16 GPA to much higher.
He struggled with addiction in his youth, including pornography, LSD, mushrooms, and methamphetamines.
A spiritual experience led to a turning point in his life, where he decided to stop his addictive behaviors.
The speaker believes that everyone has a 'hole' in their life that they try to fill, which can lead to addiction.
He shares his journey of overcoming addiction and the importance of self-control.
The speaker discusses the role of discipline in his life and how he has learned to control certain behaviors.
He had a near-death experience with a car accident that led to PTSD, which he overcame by facing his fears.
The speaker believes in the power of saying 'no' to oneself to overcome bad habits.
He shares his experience of getting a job at Netflix, attributing it to luck and preparation.
The speaker worked at Schedulicity before Netflix, where he experienced a difficult work environment.
He advises on the importance of focusing on what is most important and being organized without external tools.
The speaker recommends learning JavaScript or Java for those looking to get into computer science for job opportunities.
Transcripts
hello
to describe it I am a husband to a
beautiful wife father of four children I
am Engineering in the real world and I
stream on Twitch via programming and
sometimes gaming but rarely how do you
not pass out from being like extremely
tired for all the things that you do
like for children of wife a job a switch
what the heck I do things swiftly did I
just program really fast so my day job
you know I let my back brain solve 80 of
the problems and when I come to work I
know exactly what I want to do and so I
just do it as fast as humanly possible
have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD
oh yeah yeah that's not a problem it's a
superpower I like it my general takeaway
for ADHD is the following ADHD plus
maturity as a superpower ADHD plus
excuses is a nightmare right like you
got one or the other you have to fight
it every single day and once you learn
to control that wild wild set of energy
inside of you it becomes awesome but if
you don't it just rules you either the
dog shakes its tail or the tail Shake
takes the dog and God I I choose one
side and sometimes I have to choose it
14 000 times in a single day sometimes I
don't you know why are you also very
high performing back then or like no I
got 2.16 in high school which I believe
is barely passing yeah I almost doubled
my GPA in college did you find like a
magic formula
I guess the best way to describe it is
that when I was younger I started
getting into a lot of trouble so when I
was four years old I discovered
pornography so that was really bad and
so that kind of like affected my brain
for an extremely long period of time and
so that kind of drove the addiction
complex and all sorts of different
aspects of life and by the time I got to
college I was fairly addicted to many
things Paul would be the nicest thing
I'd be doing right a lot of LSD
mushrooms methamphetamines so at that
point I was fairly addicted to
everything okay really what it was was
that you're trying to fill a feeling you
know what I mean everyone has some sort
of hole in their life in which you try
to justify or fill in with something and
so it was very very difficult during
those times and then just one night I
had an extremely real presence feeling
with God that I was going to die to
continue this like very very terrifying
felt real like this is the end if you
continuous after that day I said okay I
do not wish to continue down this route
that was enough for me to say that is
the end from that day forward I stopped
doing those things obviously I try with
pouring the longest for about three
years I haven't looked at pornography in
15 years don't smoke cigarettes don't do
meth anymore that's positive uh but you
know like but but that was like the
beginning of me learning that I have to
take control of things because I let my
life be like I just let whatever I feel
dictate what I did and so at some point
I had to stop doing that and so then by
stopping doing that I started realizing
I can control much much more of how I
react not based on how I feel but what I
think is the right thing to do and so
after that my first semester in college
I didn't do great but I definitely
actually did not like seasoned these and
I was like wow I can do this I took
pre-calculus three times and failed and
then by that point I was like all right
I'm going to do this that's like the
moment that it happened and at that
point I took calc one and I was the
first person to finish every test about
45 minutes to an hour earlier than
everybody else and had the highest grade
every time they actually threw out my
test every single time I got like 150
every single time because they had to
remove my score from the the pool yeah I
know I I was the guy that set the curve
just ruining it for everybody else but
then they stopped letting me set the
curve and so after that point just
something clicked inside of me it's like
you do something long enough there just
comes a point where the fruit of that
trying changes you at first it was hard
I'm still getting C's getting degrees
right and then all of a sudden a year
after trying really hard every day and
then now I'm me are you also religious
yeah that day was the day I became
religious I wasn't religious before that
I had no I'd put myself as functional
atheist at that point before then just
because I you know sure God whatever
like that was probably my biggest
attitude towards I was like ah yeah you
know I haven't really think about it
right there's nothing up here that's
even thinking about those kind of things
and so when that happened that was a
rather larger life change because I was
not uh let's just say I wasn't planning
on it I was really enjoying or I thought
I did and also really hated my life at
the same time but I was really enjoying
the things I was doing if you will yeah
but you know whenever you're doing
things in addiction you always think you
enjoy them I love smoking cigarettes and
then when you're stopped you're like wow
did I hate that did you have to train
yourself to get back to have like a
discipline or or something I'm not
disciplined in all areas so there's
there's absolutely no I I would not call
myself a fully disciplined person right
I you know I don't make my bed in the
morning I have stopped a lot of like the
uncleanliness habits uh still very very
hard for me uh to do that I see that
you've cleaned up your room right
about a caller
cleaner
okay you can't be dirty
but no but but real talk like I still
struggle in a lot of areas and you know
there definitely comes a point where I
realize you can't win every time there's
probably a point where you get uh
decision satiation I'm not really sure
what the right term would be but where
you can't be on always you have to have
something in which you don't so I've
just kind of I'll never be the most
organized person and I recognize that
because at one point I felt like I
almost developed actual OCD like not the
oh hello but like I was organizing my
shirts by color and Allison I was just
like I've hit the peak like I either
have to stop or I'm developing a problem
and I recognize that time to stop so I
just stopped right there and then I've
never been clean since you're doing
something that is amazing the fact that
you recognize you had the problem with
all the addictions and then change and
then you had the OCD problem change it's
I I've had one more of those actually in
my life I got hit by a car when I was
biking in Alaska and the next day I took
one step onto the street to cross the
street broke on sweat everywhere
immediate PTSD I could I backed up and I
was like well I can't go across the
street and I realized that this is going
to dictate my life so I walked across
started sweating profusely car screeched
almost hit me again and I was just like
I cannot live like this I have to be
okay and for like the next two days I
would just sweat the whole time and then
I went away I do think we have more
Powers over our body than we probably
realize at least for me it's worked by
just saying no no and
saying it all day every day you have to
stop stop now you can't stop at the end
that's something else I learned you
don't stop in the middle of a pack of
cigarette or you don't stop at the end
of a pack of cigarettes you stop in the
moment it's always in the moment it's
always a no at that moment it's never
okay I'll be done X I don't think a lot
of people are successful if they allow
it because you're not really winning
you're just you know natural separation
which can't help it's not you who's
winning it's the separation I am not
working out tomorrow I start how does
that work in your brain yeah I tend to
do that as well I I will turn I'll just
I have to do it I actually recently did
just start working out again I hope you
do realize how much power do you have of
course being able to do this quick
changes and do not stay in like not all
of them are quick though you know like
the porn one took like three four years
smoking cigarettes took like a year you
know there's this old phrase that the
distance between your head and your
heart is the greatest distance in the
universe I am in pretty much in full
believer of that it takes a long time to
match what's up here in here it's it's
best if it comes from here every every
time that something has happened that's
really changed my life it's often that
it comes from here to my head not from
my head to here everyone's only a couple
decisions away from being anything right
a guy once told me that you know what's
the difference between you and someone
you hate or someone that we think is
repugnant which is just time and
circumstances or what what's the what's
the best way I heard someone say it
you're just a drink and a wink away from
ruining your life it doesn't take a lot
to do vast changes through your life I
try to be very careful and realize like
how fragile all these things actually
are it's not just my strength my
strength will only last for so long I
remember that once I was in your life
and you were saying that you use the
ball also because of like with your ADHD
or like because it's like another kind
of like entertainment for your buddy I
want to say that was Dan I don't know if
I said that I try not to do ticks of any
kind right you know how people will tap
their hands right and you let yourself
or you do something right it's not
really like I wouldn't call like a
Tourette type tick but you do things
right yeah everyone has something that
they do I eat the inside of my cheese
everyone has like some little thing that
they do right it's it's really really
weird how that works out but I try not
to do any of those I only do things when
I want to do them so if I want to bounce
on the ball I'm going to bounce on the
ball I don't just bounce out of the ball
out of habit it's when the moment is
right to bounce do you ever feel like
you want to lose entirely the control
ever have this feeling like [ __ ] it like
and you no because the other side was
terrible how much could I ask you about
Netflix I know that lending a job at
Netflix is extremely difficult my
general rule of thumb is what actually
happened is that I got really lucky you
like all like most success in life it
involves a great deal of preparation and
luck or as my mom used to say the harder
I work the luckier I get so I went to a
conference and I learned about a
technology called rxjs back then I I did
that I actually got kind of good at it
and I put it on my LinkedIn as a skill
and at that time period Netflix was
under this big guys that they need to
hire many people that are good at rxjs
so I really do think that that's
probably what happened is so by putting
it on LinkedIn a hiring manager found it
and brought me in for an interview and I
am pretty good at the social side of
things and Netflix tends to be a very
social heavy interview very light on the
technical in fact I didn't really even
have a technical someone asked me an
rxjs question and they love talking so
much that I just sat there and baited
them in and they literally wrote the
entire solution for me and I never even
knew what I did that was fantastic and
the rest of it was just like talking to
people like what's your least favorite
feature of Netflix so I was just like I
hate this you know just really forceful
and all that and they loved it and then
I won and how long have you been uh
working for Netflix I've been there nine
years in a couple months you've finished
your Bachelor then many years passed
before like you went to Netflix what can
I ask what did you do yeah I worked at a
place called Schedulicity it is the
hardest spelled startup business ever a
very manipulative CEO it was very very
bad but I worked there for six months
and by the end of the six months I said
to myself in the car that I will figure
out how to be happy even in this
situation I arrived to work I go to grab
a coffee run into somebody and he's just
like hey man I was like hey he's like
you work at Schedulicity right I'm like
yeah he's like how much do you make I
was like I make this much and he's like
I will pay you 50 more come work for us
and I was like okay because I hated my
current job so it was fantastic and it
was a really good job that I went to by
far the hardest worked like 60 70 hours
every week it was very very difficult
but it was a very very good experience
it definitely shaped a lot of who I am
how do you keep yourself organized do
you prefer agendas do you prefer like
everything in your brain how does your
brain in the organization works I don't
have any form of fracking no way no way
jira I don't write things down I have
come to the conclusion that the things
that are important you will remember and
the things that are less important you
will forget how does doing team work
with you works I just do what is most
important that I can possibly do and
stay very focused one thing at a time
what do you think that is potentially
most rewarding language or knowledge to
having computer science right now like
I'm starting now to study something what
should I start to study right now
I'd have to ask what is English is
obviously really important in
programming right if you didn't know
English I actually do think it'd be
really hard communication all that would
there'd definitely be a barrier there
doing business in America would be very
difficult if you didn't know English
right so I mean I don't know if that's a
computer science specific problem as
much as a business world problem
potentially so I would follow it up with
something a little bit different which
is what is your goal to get hired or to
understand programming the one that will
give me a better job with a better
salary then to me the easiest and most
straightforward path of all time is
Javascript UI that is the huge area very
very easy or when I say easy to get
hired in because I know there's a lot of
people that have spent a year they're
still not hired they're very
disheartened by it easy being easy for
the fact that you can't just get hired
writing a compiler right there's like a
thousand people 500 people maybe total
working on a compiler so that's much
much different whereas there's a large
audience and an ever-growing audience
working on UI or middleware JavaScript
area so so it's just the easiest of all
the places so that's kind of where I
would I would go is that or Java Java
has right now the biggest industry
standard there's a lot of companies that
are definitely hiring for Java so it's
kind of like you pick those two
languages you'll probably be successful
now will you like Java that's a
completely different question you know
thank you so much I really appreciate
you for this call Bye Alright bye bye
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