5 Rare Habits That Will Make You A Beast
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of physical and mental strength, particularly for those in their 20s and 30s, suggesting that pushing one's limits in activities like weightlifting and long-distance running builds resilience. They advocate for developing grit and strength early on, which can be applied to various aspects of life, including work and relationships. The speaker also encourages relocating to a city for better opportunities and stresses the significance of finding a compatible partner, which they argue is the most critical decision one can make in their 20s and 30s. They advise taking risks, embracing rejection, and engaging with strangers to increase the chances of finding a great partner and building a fulfilling life.
Takeaways
- πͺ Develop physical and mental strength by pushing your limits in activities like weightlifting and long-distance running.
- ποΈ Move to a city to increase your opportunities and improve your skills by being around highly competitive and talented individuals.
- π€ Actively seek out social interactions and opportunities to meet potential partners, embracing the discomfort and risk of rejection.
- π« Don't be afraid to take risks and step out of your comfort zone, whether in personal relationships or professional networking.
- ποΈββοΈ Recognize the importance of physical fitness and the confidence it can bring, especially in your 20s and 30s.
- πββοΈ Use physical endurance activities as a metaphor for life's challenges, learning to push through when you think you can't go on.
- πΌ Understand that your early career choices, like working long hours, can signal your commitment and lead to professional success.
- π« Prioritize finding a great life partner, as it can significantly impact your overall happiness and well-being.
- πΌ Choose your industry and place of work wisely, as these decisions will shape your economic security and personal growth.
- π Embrace city life for the opportunities it presents, but also for the personal growth that comes from navigating a diverse and challenging environment.
Q & A
What is the advice given for physical fitness in one's 20s and 30s?
-The advice is to lift heavy weights and run long distances to push oneself physically and mentally. This helps in building strength and resilience that can be recalled and admired in later years.
Why is it beneficial to push oneself to the limit during physical activities in one's 20s and 30s?
-Pushing oneself to the limit helps in discovering one's true physical and mental capabilities, building confidence, and developing grit, which can be applied to overcoming challenges in various aspects of life.
What is the significance of the rower's experience mentioned in the script?
-The rower's experience illustrates the importance of learning one's limits at a young age, which can provide a sense of confidence and resilience when facing difficult situations later in life.
Why is it recommended to work in a city during one's 20s and 30s?
-Working in a city provides opportunities to compete and learn from the best, which can significantly improve one's skills and performance, similar to playing sports with top athletes.
What is the advice for finding a partner in one's 20s and 30s?
-The advice is to actively seek out and engage with potential partners, to be open to rejection, and to take risks in order to increase the chances of finding a great match.
Why is it important to take risks and be comfortable with rejection when looking for a partner?
-Taking risks and being comfortable with rejection increases the number of opportunities to meet potential partners and helps in developing resilience, which is crucial for success in both personal and professional life.
What is the significance of the speaker's story about meeting their partner at the Raleigh Hotel?
-The story emphasizes the importance of taking uncomfortable risks and initiating conversations with people one is attracted to, which can lead to meaningful relationships.
How does the speaker suggest approaching potential partners at work?
-The speaker suggests approaching potential partners at work by expressing interest and inviting them for a coffee, while being careful not to abuse power or make anyone uncomfortable.
What is the advice for building economic security in one's 20s and 30s?
-The advice is to find something one is good at and start building a base for economic security, while also focusing on personal development and building relationships.
Why is it important to be around strangers and engage with them regularly?
-Being around and engaging with strangers regularly helps in developing social skills, creating opportunities for economic and personal growth, and finding potential partners.
What is the overall theme of the advice given for people in their 20s and 30s?
-The overall theme is to push oneself physically, mentally, and emotionally, to take risks, be resilient in the face of rejection, and actively seek out opportunities for personal and professional growth.
Outlines
πͺ Developing Strength and Grit in Your 20s and 30s
The speaker emphasizes the importance of physical and mental strength during one's 20s and 30s. They suggest engaging in intense physical activities like weightlifting and long-distance running to build endurance and resilience. The speaker shares personal experiences, such as rowing crew in college and working long hours at an investment bank, to illustrate the value of pushing oneself to the limit. They argue that these experiences build confidence and a strong work ethic, which are crucial for success in life and relationships. Additionally, the speaker advises moving to a city to be around high achievers, which can elevate one's own performance, and to actively seek out social opportunities to meet potential partners.
π Embracing Risk and Building Social Connections
In this paragraph, the speaker discusses the necessity of taking uncomfortable risks to achieve great things in life. They encourage sending unsolicited emails, reaching out to admired individuals, and stepping out of one's comfort zone to build connections. The speaker stresses the importance of finding a great partner, which they consider the most significant decision one can make in their 20s and 30s. They recount their own story of meeting their partner and how it changed their life, highlighting the value of putting oneself in situations where meaningful connections can be made. The speaker also addresses the fear of rejection and the importance of being comfortable with it, as it is an inevitable part of life. They conclude by advocating for physical and mental strength, economic responsibility, and being active in social settings to maximize opportunities for success.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Lifting heavy weights
π‘Running long distances
π‘Grit
π‘City life
π‘Rejection
π‘Mating and relationships
π‘Economic security
π‘Risk-taking
π‘Social interaction
π‘Physical strength
π‘Self-improvement
Highlights
The importance of physical and mental strength in one's 20s and 30s, including lifting heavy weights and running long distances.
The value of pushing oneself to the limit in sports, like rowing, to build resilience for future challenges.
The significance of developing grit and strength in one's early career, exemplified by working long hours to demonstrate commitment.
The advice to live in a big city to improve one's skills and opportunities by being around highly skilled people.
The necessity of being proactive in social situations to increase the chances of finding a suitable partner.
The inevitability of rejection and the importance of being comfortable with it for personal and professional growth.
The impact of choosing the right place to live, work, and the industry on one's success and happiness.
The critical decision of selecting a life partner and the importance of having a supportive and compatible spouse.
The story of meeting a partner at a social event and the courage it took to initiate a conversation.
The encouragement to take uncomfortable risks and the potential rewards that come with it.
The recommendation to be around strangers and create opportunities for personal and professional growth.
The suggestion to join social groups or activities to increase the chances of meeting potential partners and building a network.
The importance of being physically strong and confident in one's abilities to handle any situation.
The humorous note on the decline of physical strength with age and the importance of maintaining health.
The final thoughts on the necessity of being strong, taking risks, and being around people for personal development.
Transcripts
what advice would you give to people
that are in their 30s are entering their
30s about how to operate in life
I think it's really situational I don't
think there's a user's manual I think
there's some best practices and I don't
think it's that much different than in
your 20s
um the first is very Primal I think
every person in their 20s and 30s should
lift heavy weights and run long
distances in their brain and in the gym
push yourself really hard when you're in
your 20s and 30s you don't even realize
how old are you 34. okay so like you
look like a beast in in 20 years you're
just going to look back on how strong
you were and just marvel at it and
you're going to wish as strong as you
were that you even push yourself harder
I rode crew it was such a valuable part
of my life I did at the age of 19. and I
remember in the midst of a race it's a 2
000 meter race
and I remember not being able to feel my
legs starting to black out and having to
concentrate on not blacking out from
exhaustion my and the the oxygen or the
air going down my esophagus was on fire
tastes like blood and metal in your
throat yeah and that was at 800 meters
and you'd go 2 000. and that ability
just when you think just when you think
you can't take any more
that means you're about a third of the
way to your limits as as a as a human as
a species learning that as a young man
or woman is a blessing because what it
means is you have the confidence that
when when things are hard physically
emotionally mentally you realize oh my
God I could take so much more and still
be fine and when I worked my first job
was a Morton Stanley Investment Bank and
I was undereducated relative to my peer
group not because I didn't go to a great
school I went to UCLA but I spent the
majority of my five years there making
bongs out of household items and
watching Planet of the Apes so I wasn't
as skilled as my peer group so I decided
every Tuesday morning I was going to
come into work
and I wasn't going to leave till
Wednesday night
and I'm like I can do that I'm
physically really strong I'm mentally
really strong
and it sent a signal to the rest of the
organization that I came to play
develop that kind of grit and strength
emotionally physically and
intellectually in your 20s and 30s
you're capable of it you're just going
to look back on that errand like just
marvel it out out of [Β __Β ] control
strong you are both mentally and
physically
2. get to a city if you can and that
sounds very practical or wrote but you'd
rather be good in a big city than great
in a small City before you collect dogs
and kids
you know being in a city is like playing
tennis with Roger Federer or Nadal when
you play with people much better than
you your game gets much better you're
playing against the best when you're in
a city
uh
find create as many opportunities to
find a mate now what do I mean by that
get out as often as possible accept
invitations force yourself to go out
force yourself to meet strangers develop
the skills
uh start whenever you're waiting in line
at Starbucks talk to the person in front
of you talk to the person behind you
develop the skills to begin opening and
establishing relationships and it's
uncomfortable and it means getting used
to rejection
and by the way the only thing I can
guarantee you in life
is rejection and the only thing I
guarantee a lot of if you want to be
successful is a [Β __Β ] ton of rejection
being an entrepreneur just means you're
willing to take out a big spoon and eat
[Β __Β ] all the time talking people into
working for you talking clients into to
to to engaging you talking investors
into investing and having 90 plus
percent of them saying no and the same
is true with successful mating the most
important decision you'll make in your
20s and 30s is where you live where you
work what industry you're going to it's
who you decide to partner with
specifically who you decide to
ultimately have kids with and I have
close friends who are monstrously
successful by every external metric and
they don't have great lives because they
don't have real Partners in their
spouses and I have other friends who
struggle economically and it's hard
but everything's a little easier for
them because they have a real partner
and the way you punch above your weight
class and find a great mate uh you know
emotionally intellectually from a value
standpoint sexually is you give yourself
as many opportunities as possible and my
story is I met uh my partner who I had
kids with at the Raleigh Hotel at the
pool at the Raleigh Hotel in South Beach
about 17 years ago it was the middle of
the day and I walked in and I think it's
important to do this I walked in and I
saw someone I was really attracted to
and I said I'm going to talk to this
person before I leave and I promise
myself and I went up
in the full light of midday sun when she
was sitting with another guy and another
girl and opened and without the aid of
alcohol that is not easy that is not
easy and fast forward my oldest son's
middle name is Raleigh if you nothing
wonderful is going to happen to you
unless you take an uncomfortable risk so
get good at taking them get good at
sending blind emails to LinkedIn
contacts to ask them for coffee to see
if they'll talk to you about that
industry
reach out to people tell them you admire
them try and become friends with them
you know you're you're an interesting
guy I was just thinking to myself I'd
love to know this guy does he live in
London he just seems very cool get
comfortable taking those sorts of risks
get comfortable with rejection nothing
wonderful will happen to you unless you
take an uncomfortable risk the most
important thing you can find in your
life in your 20s and 30s is something
that you're good at so that you can
start
building a base around Economic Security
but the the real key is to find a great
partner and that is going to be a
function of liquidity how many great
Partners potential great Partners you
approach and unfortunately
the far left of which I'm apart as tree
as as counseled men that if you start
talking to a woman at work and you
express any sort of Interest it means
you're toxic no it doesn't if you don't
know the difference between expressing
interest and having coffee with someone
and harassing them you've got much
bigger problems a third of relationships
begin at work I'm not suggesting anyone
should ever abuse their power I'm I'm
not suggesting you shouldn't be very
careful that you're ever leveraging
power making anyone uncomfortable but
for God's sakes go up and talk to
strangers there's nothing wrong with
that and if you approach a strange woman
and and try and express get a
conversation going and she's not
interested you're both going to be fine
you're both gonna be fine and what I see
as a generation of men who don't take
care of themselves physically and become
so isolated that the idea of talking to
a strange woman is so alien and alien
and uncomfortable to them they just
rather stay home and do something else
and I don't want to stereotype all
introverts is is leading to bad places
that's not true at all but the majority
of men you talk to they want to be
financially successful and they want to
have a great partner at some point and
that is a function of of your
willingness to put yourself in
uncomfortable situation so anyways get
mentally and physically strong take
economic responsibility for your
household get out of the house as much
as possible try and find things where
you're building something in the agency
of others I don't care every day you
should be be around strangers every day
like if it's work I don't know if it's
church I don't care if it's non-profit a
softball league the gym classes whatever
it is you need to be around a massive
number of strangers and finding reasons
to have bump off of them and find
economic and personal and platonic
opportunities as often as possible we
are a social species to get to a city
get around a lot of people get out there
every day start making money and become
really strong you should be able to walk
into any room in your at your age and
think if [Β __Β ] got real I can kill and
eat everybody or outrun them one or the
other one or the other now I'm at the
point where I can do neither I'm not
strong and my knees are going but
anyways at your age it should be one or
both you could pay someone to kill
everybody or coming there you go that
would be awesome there you go yeah
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peace
[Music]
thank you
[Music]
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