The Truth Behind Why Trying Harder Doesn’t Work (When You Have ADHD)

Summary

In this episode sponsored by Sama, the discussion focuses on the common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' to succeed. The video debunks this notion, explaining that effort is often not the issue. Instead, it's the underlying executive function challenges and time management difficulties that hinder progress. The speaker advocates for sustainable productivity and support, like Sama's planning app, which helps manage tasks and prevent burnout. The video also addresses the unsustainability of constant high effort and suggests exploring alternative strategies before resorting to trying harder.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' is often not helpful and can be discouraging.
• 💪 Many individuals with ADHD are already exerting significant effort, and telling them to try harder can be demotivating.
• 🚫 Simply trying harder does not address the underlying issues that contribute to ADHD-related struggles, such as executive function challenges and time management difficulties.
• 🛠️ Tools and strategies, like the Sama app, can be more effective in helping individuals with ADHD manage their time and tasks more effectively.
• 📈 The idea of trying harder is not sustainable in the long term and can lead to burnout and increased inconsistency in performance.
• 🔄 The pressure to constantly try harder can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and lead to emotional dysregulation.
• 🔄 It's important to consider whether the effort being put in is sustainable and flexible, especially given the varying energy levels experienced by those with ADHD.
• 📉 Pushing oneself too hard can set unrealistic expectations for future performance, leading to a cycle of increased pressure and potential failure.
• 🔑 Recognizing the effort already being made is crucial, and self-compassion can be a powerful tool for improvement.
• 📋 Before resorting to trying harder, explore other options such as using tools, seeking support, or finding ways to make tasks more engaging.

Q & A

What is the main issue discussed in the script regarding ADHD?

The script discusses the common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' to improve their performance, and why this approach is not effective or sustainable.

Why might telling someone with ADHD to 'try harder' be discouraging?

Telling someone with ADHD to 'try harder' can be discouraging because it fails to recognize the effort they are already putting in, and can lead to feelings of inadequacy if they are already exerting significant effort.

What is the first reason given in the script for why 'trying harder' is not the solution for ADHD?

The first reason is that effort is not the problem; people with ADHD are often already trying harder than their neurotypical peers.

How does 'trying harder' relate to the underlying issues faced by individuals with ADHD?

'Trying harder' does not address the underlying executive function challenges, time management difficulties, and impulsivity that contribute to the struggles faced by individuals with ADHD.

What is the role of Sama in helping individuals with ADHD, as mentioned in the script?

Sama is an app that helps individuals with ADHD plan their week more smoothly, manage tasks, prevent burnout, and improve productivity by providing a centralized hub for tasks and planning.

Why is 'trying harder' not sustainable for people with ADHD?

'Trying harder' is not sustainable because it can lead to exhaustion, making it difficult to maintain the same level of effort over time, and can exacerbate other ADHD symptoms.

What is the script's suggestion for a more effective approach than 'trying harder'?

The script suggests translating 'try harder' into actionable strategies, using tools, seeking support, and considering accommodations before considering putting in more effort.

How does the script describe the impact of consistently high effort on future performance?

The script describes that consistently high effort can lead to exhaustion, making it difficult to maintain the same level of performance in the future, and can lead to inconsistency in performance.

What is the script's stance on the idea of setting high bars for oneself when dealing with ADHD?

The script cautions against setting high bars for oneself because it can be difficult to clear those bars consistently, leading to increased pressure and potential exacerbation of ADHD symptoms.

What is the alternative to 'trying harder' that the script suggests for individuals with ADHD?

The script suggests trying different strategies, tools, and support systems before resorting to 'trying harder', focusing on sustainable and flexible productivity.

How does the script encourage individuals with ADHD to approach their goals?

The script encourages individuals with ADHD to approach their goals by recognizing the effort already being put in, seeking support, and considering sustainable and flexible strategies for improvement.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Pitfall of 'Trying Harder' for ADHD

The video script discusses the common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' to achieve their goals. The speaker, who has ADHD, explains that this advice is not only unhelpful but also potentially harmful. They argue that individuals with ADHD often already exert more effort than their neurotypical peers, and being told to try harder can be discouraging as it fails to acknowledge the existing effort. The speaker emphasizes that the real issue is not a lack of effort but rather the unique challenges faced by those with ADHD, such as executive function difficulties and time management issues, which cannot be overcome by simply trying harder. The video also introduces Sama, an app designed to help with planning and organization, as a tool that can be more beneficial than simply trying harder.

05:00

🔄 The Unsustainability of Excessive Effort for ADHD

In the second paragraph, the speaker delves into the sustainability of effort for individuals with ADHD. They explain that pushing oneself too hard can lead to exhaustion and inconsistency in performance, which is already a common struggle for those with ADHD. The speaker points out that setting a high bar through intense effort can make it difficult to meet that standard consistently, leading to a cycle of high pressure and potential burnout. They also discuss how excessive effort can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, such as emotional dysregulation, leading to a collapse under pressure. The speaker suggests that instead of trying harder, it's more beneficial to find strategies, tools, or support that can help manage ADHD symptoms effectively. They encourage viewers to consider other approaches before resorting to trying harder and to recognize the effort they are already putting in.

Keywords

💡ADHD

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. In the context of the video, ADHD is the central theme as the speaker discusses the challenges faced by individuals with ADHD, particularly in relation to productivity and the common misconception that they simply need to 'try harder'.

💡Try Harder

'Try harder' is a common advice given to individuals with ADHD to improve their performance or behavior. The video critiques this advice, arguing that it is not only discouraging but also ineffective because it fails to address the underlying neurological challenges of ADHD.

💡Effort

Effort, in this video, refers to the physical or mental energy put into a task. The speaker points out that people with ADHD often exert more effort than their neurotypical peers but still face difficulties, suggesting that effort alone is not the solution to their struggles.

💡Neurotypical

Neurotypical refers to individuals who have a typical or standard neurological development, in contrast to those with neurodevelopmental disorders like ADHD. The video discusses how neurotypical individuals may not experience the same challenges in time management and focus as those with ADHD.

💡Time Blindness

Time blindness is a term used to describe the difficulty some individuals with ADHD have in perceiving and managing time. The video mentions it as one of the underlying reasons why simply trying harder does not solve productivity issues for people with ADHD.

💡Impulsivity

Impulsivity is characterized by actions that are spontaneous, unplanned, and often without thought for the consequences. The video explains that impulsivity can distract individuals with ADHD from their tasks, and trying harder does not necessarily mitigate this challenge.

💡Executive Function

Executive functions are cognitive processes that help regulate behaviors, manage time, and organize tasks. The video highlights that individuals with ADHD often face executive function challenges, which contribute to their struggles, and that these are not addressed by simply trying harder.

💡Productivity

Productivity refers to the efficiency of an individual's work or the rate at which they produce output. The video discusses how ADHD can impact productivity and how the traditional advice to 'try harder' does not consider the unique challenges faced by those with ADHD.

💡Sustainability

Sustainability in the context of the video refers to the ability to maintain a certain level of effort or output over time without burning out. The speaker argues that 'trying harder' is often not sustainable for individuals with ADHD, leading to inconsistency in performance.

💡Sama

Sama is mentioned as a tool that can help individuals with ADHD manage their tasks and time more effectively. It is described as 'gamechanging' for those who struggle with productivity, suggesting that tools like Sama can provide the support needed beyond just trying harder.

💡Burnout

Burnout refers to a state of physical or emotional exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. The video mentions the importance of preventing burnout for individuals with ADHD, implying that the unsustainable approach of constantly trying harder can lead to such exhaustion.

Highlights

The common misconception that people with ADHD need to 'try harder' is challenged as it may not address the actual challenges faced.

Individuals with ADHD are often already exerting more effort than neurotypical peers, contrary to the assumption that they are not trying hard enough.

The suggestion to 'try harder' can be discouraging as it fails to acknowledge the existing efforts made by those with ADHD.

The underlying reasons for struggles in ADHD are not addressed by simply trying harder, such as time blindness and impulsivity.

Executive function challenges and time management difficulties are not overcome by increased effort alone.

Trying harder is not always actionable, as the specific areas needing improvement are not clearly defined.

The importance of planning and using tools like Sama to manage tasks and time effectively for individuals with ADHD.

Sama's role in helping to plan weeks smoothly and preventing burnout by encouraging realistic task management.

The sustainability of effort is questioned, as increased effort today may lead to exhaustion and decreased performance tomorrow.

The pressure to maintain high levels of effort can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and lead to emotional dysregulation.

The idea of 'borrowing' from future effort can lead to a cycle of exhaustion and increased symptoms.

Strategies for improvement should focus on recognizing existing efforts and finding alternative solutions before resorting to trying harder.

The video encourages viewers to consider sustainable and flexible approaches to productivity rather than short-term bursts of effort.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to share their strategies for improvement that do not rely on trying harder.

The importance of community and support is highlighted through the mention of the Patreon and Discord community.

Transcripts

this episode is sponsored by Sama stick

around to learn more about it hello

brains why does trying harder not work

for people with ADHD let's talk about

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it this is one of those things that I

have heard so many times as somebody

with ADHD and heard again and again from

my community is what they're hearing as

well which is so much potential needs to

try harder a lot of us have heard that

we need to try harder so many times that

we've really internalized it and it

becomes our go-to solution if we're not

performing at the level that want to

perform or the level that we know we can

sometimes perform at we feel like we

need to put in more effort we need to

try harder or it's almost more Insidious

cousin do more in this video I'm going

to talk about why that's actually a

really bad idea for people with ADHD

three reasons one effort is not the

problem a lot of the time we are

actually trying harder than our

neurotypical peers somebody might think

that they would succeed or they would do

better if they were putting in the

effort they're not doing better

therefore they must not be putting in

the effort and that's OD Logic the only

time I can think of that somebody with

ADHD was not trying really hard is when

they had gotten so discouraged they

given up guess what being told to try

harder does if you're already putting in

a ton of effort being told to try harder

is quite discouraging actually because

it doesn't recognize or appreciate the

effort that you're already putting in

trying harder is not the solution if

effort is not the problem if you're

already trying your best trying harder

is probably not going to accomplish what

you might be hoping it will accomplish

which brings us to number two trying

harder doesn't address the underlying

reasons why we're struggling a lot of

the time the reason why we are not

accomplishing what it is that we're

trying to accomplish isn't that we're

not trying it's that we have struggles

that neurotypical people don't have if I

try harder to manage my time that

doesn't change the fact that I

experience time blindness it does not

change the fact that I am impulsive and

get distracted from what I what it was I

was supposed to be working on it doesn't

matter how hard I try I'm not

necessarily going to be able to manage

my time through sheer effort alone

because that doesn't at all address the

underlying executive function challenges

and time management difficulties and

impulsivity that are contributing to the

problem so even if even in the case

where I'm not trying super hard at

managing my schedule probably because

I've given up on doing that um effort is

not necessarily going to

help because it doesn't address these

issues a lot of the time trying harder

is not even an actionable thing

sometimes we can try harder but like

what is there to try harder at in that

case because these messages are so

internalized if we're not being as

productive as we would like to be it's

really easy for us to be like I just

need to do better I just need to try

harder but how how do we do that a lot

of the time we do get these messages

that we need to be putting in more

effort when most of the time what we

really need is more support trying

harder does not work you got to try

different Sama knows that and Sama helps

you try different Sama has been

incredibly important to me when I use

Sama to plan my week it goes so much

more smoothly it is one of those apps

that's truly gamechanging for people

with ADHD there's so many things that we

struggle with in regard to productivity

time management planning prioritizing

not burning out getting overwhelmed it

helps me plan my day make sure that my

team can see what is on my plate there

is one Hub there's one place where you

can pull in your task all the things

that you need to be doing through email

assana Google Calendar whatever then you

can take a look at it and be like that's

not realistic Sama will encourage you to

bump tasks back anything that can wait

so that you can have a reasonable

workday you can set times for like how

long you think these tasks are going to

take you and it will tell you how long

the task actually took planning your

week is a tool that is very

underestimated in the ADHD community and

I keep thinking but I don't have time to

plan my week I have too much to do and

so a lot of the time we need a tool that

can help us do that it's about helping

you be sustainably productive it's about

helping you prevent burnout also Sama is

so ADHD friendly they have a trial

period that doesn't require a credit

card up front so you can decide whether

or not you want to be charged for it

after you've tried it out if you'd like

to check it out go to s.com ajessica

from how to ADHD it's a long link we'll

also put it in the description below so

please let me know what you think of it

and what you're working on what what are

your goals this week what do you want to

accomplish and let me know how that

works for you

and the third reason why trying harder

is not the best solution for those with

ADHD it's not sustainable let's say you

had more effort to give you could try

harder and let's say trying harder helps

you do better let's say it actually

works right you put in a bunch of extra

effort and your outcome is far superior

to what it would have been if you hadn't

tried that hard I'm either going to take

a level of exhaustion today because I'm

pushing myself so hard today that I'm

going to have a harder time tomorrow

which means this level of effort is not

sustainable I not going to have as much

energy to give tomorrow and also this

level of output is not sustainable

because I'm not going to be able to give

as much tomorrow I'm not going to be

able to try as hard tomorrow as you add

more to your life you get a new job you

get a promotion you have a kid now that

same level of effort isn't sustainable

if we put a ton of extra energy into

what we're doing today we might not have

as much to give tomorrow it further adds

to the inconsistency that those with

ADHD already experience of us having

really good brain days and really bad

brain days and sometimes we can't and

sometimes we can't another problem is

that if we try really hard and push

really hard on a project the bar that

we've set for ourselves is now really

difficult for us to clear the next time

and we're not necessarily thinking about

like can we do this consistently we're

thinking well I was able to do it before

so I should be able to do it again so

one of the things that I try to think

about now is not only can I do it but

can I do it either sustainably or

flexibly is it okay that sometimes I'm

going to be able to to do a lot in short

bursts and then I'm going to need some

time to to recharge because we are

putting in more effort than we really

have to give we're borrowing from

ourselves from our future selves like

we're taking levels of exhaustion and

eventually that's going to catch up with

us and the pressure we put on ourselves

can exacerbate other adhc symptoms if we

are gripping so tightly it doesn't take

a lot to push us over the edge and we

are already dealing with emotion

disregulation challenges it becomes this

situation where like eventually like we

can't hold it together anymore and we

are more likely to explode we're more

likely to collapse we're more likely to

not be able to hold it together anymore

because we've been pushing ourselves so

hard for so long so what's the brain to

do I think first of all translating

translating try harder into what we

really mean when we are asking of

ourselves to try harder or somebody's

telling us we need to try harder which

is do better and then go okay what would

help me do better recognize the effort

that's already being put in sometimes

that alone is encouraging and will help

us do better if we're constant down on

ourselves for not doing more then it's

really easy to get discouraged and to

want to give up entirely and then effort

is definitely not the problem well now

it is the problem cuz now we're not

trying at all cuz we've given up make a

list of what we can do before we try

harder and put try harder not at the top

of that list not as the only thing on

that list but at the very bottom so that

we go through other things that might

help first so that we try different

before we try harder is there a tool I

can use is there a strategy I can use is

there an accommodation I can ask for is

there support that I can get is there

accountability that I need can I make

this more interesting to my brain

somehow is there a way that I can do

better without putting in more effort

and only if there is no other way to do

it should I even consider putting in

more effort I hope you find this helpful

this is one of those videos that I'm

definitely making for me and putting it

out there in case it's helpful for

anybody else I definitely fall into the

Trap of trying harder doing more all of

the time in case you couldn't tell let

me know in the comments below what your

maybe go-to top of your list strategy is

for doing better other than trying

harder thank you to my brain Advocates

and all my patreon brains for inspiring

content like this like subscribe click

all the things and I will see you next

video bye brains did you know we have a

Discord Community through patreon when

you support the work we do on how to

ADHD you get access to a global

supportive community and other patreon

perks

if you'd like to join us go to

patreon.com howto ADHD

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