How to Deal With Loss or Grief of Love Ones

Psych2Go
19 Dec 201905:12

Summary

TLDRThis video script addresses the complex journey of grief, emphasizing that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to healing. It suggests techniques like acceptance of emotions, companionship, using art and journaling as outlets, and creating personal rituals to honor the deceased. The video also cautions against relying on the outdated five stages of grief model, advocating for a more personalized and present-focused healing process.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 Grief is a complex emotional journey that varies from person to person and should not be rushed.
  • πŸ˜” There is no universal method for healing from grief; it's a personal process with no quick fix.
  • πŸ‘‚ Acceptance of grief is crucial, which involves acknowledging and experiencing all emotions without numbness.
  • 🀝 Companionship plays a significant role in the healing process, with the best companions being those who listen without trying to fix the grief.
  • 🎨 Using art as an outlet can help channel deep feelings of grief into a creative expression, aiding in emotional release.
  • ✍️ Keeping a journal can be therapeutic, allowing individuals to confront and understand their emotions, including grief.
  • πŸ•Š Creating personal rituals to honor loved ones can provide a meaningful way to remember and celebrate their lives.
  • 🚫 Disregard the outdated five stages of grief model; focus on individual healing processes rather than predetermined stages.
  • πŸ’¬ Sharing experiences with grief and healing methods can be beneficial, potentially helping others who are going through similar experiences.
  • 🌱 It's important to remember that healing from grief is not a linear process and everyone's journey is unique.

Q & A

  • What is the realization that life must inevitably come to an end referred to in the script?

    -The realization that life must inevitably come to an end refers to the understanding of our own mortality, which often becomes more apparent as we age and experience physical changes such as graying hair and weakening bones.

  • How does the script describe the grieving process?

    -The grieving process is described as a personal and unique journey with no universal method for healing. It emphasizes that everyone goes through it in their own way, and it can sometimes feel impossible to heal from the pain of loss.

  • What is the role of external triggers like songs or scents in the grieving process according to the script?

    -External triggers such as songs or scents can evoke strong emotions and memories associated with the lost loved one, which are part of the complex emotional journey of grief.

  • Why is it important to not let oneself become numb to the feelings of grief as suggested in the script?

    -It's important not to become numb to the feelings of grief because acknowledging and understanding these emotions is a crucial part of the healing process. By allowing oneself to feel, one can process the grief and eventually come to terms with the loss.

  • What is the significance of companionship during the grieving process as mentioned in the script?

    -Companionship is significant during the grieving process because the support and understanding of others can greatly aid in healing. The best companions are those who know how to listen and provide a comforting presence without trying to fix the grief.

  • How can art be used as an outlet for grief according to the script?

    -Art can be used as an outlet for grief by channeling deep emotions into creative expressions such as painting, graphic novels, or other art forms. This allows for an emotional release and can help in processing the grief.

  • What is the benefit of keeping a journal during the grieving process as suggested in the script?

    -Keeping a journal allows individuals to confront, dissect, and ultimately come to terms with their emotions, including grief. Writing can provide a safe space for self-expression and can be therapeutic over multiple days of journaling.

  • Why does the script encourage creating personal rituals to honor loved ones who have passed?

    -Creating personal rituals to honor loved ones can provide a meaningful way to remember and celebrate their lives. These rituals can be simple and personalized, helping to keep the memory of the loved one alive and providing a sense of connection.

  • What is the script's stance on the five stages of grief as introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross?

    -The script suggests that the five stages of grief model, while interesting, is outdated and not a comprehensive representation of the grieving process. It emphasizes that grief is not linear and should not be simplified into a formula.

  • How should one focus on healing according to the script?

    -The script advises focusing on the present healing process without anticipating the next stage. It encourages individuals to concentrate on their current experience of grief and healing without trying to fit it into a predefined model.

  • What is the script's final call to action for viewers who have found the video helpful?

    -The script encourages viewers who found the video helpful to share their own experiences with grief and how they have healed. This is to foster a supportive community and potentially help others who are going through similar experiences.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Coping with Mortality and Grief

This paragraph addresses the universal experience of confronting mortality and the process of grieving. It acknowledges that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing from loss, and that the journey through grief is highly individual. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of not rushing the grieving process and suggests that while techniques can help alleviate pain, there is no quick fix. It also encourages viewers to seek support from professionals, family, and friends, and to remember that they are not alone in their journey.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Mortality

Mortality refers to the state of being subject to death. In the context of the video, it is the realization of one's own eventual death that prompts reflections on the preciousness and finite nature of life. The script mentions this concept as a starting point for understanding grief, as it is often the contemplation of mortality that leads to the grieving process when faced with loss.

πŸ’‘Grieving Process

The grieving process is the emotional and psychological response to loss, particularly the death of a loved one. The video emphasizes that there is no universal method for healing from grief, and it is a deeply personal journey. It is highlighted that the process can sometimes feel impossible, with lingering feelings that seem eternal, as described when recalling sensory memories like a loved one's favorite song or their cooking.

πŸ’‘Healing

Healing, in the context of the video, refers to the process of recovering from emotional pain, particularly from grief. The script suggests that healing is not a quick fix and is not as simple as following a step-by-step guide. It is presented as a complex and individual journey that should not be rushed, and the video offers techniques to assist viewers in their healing without claiming to have all the answers.

πŸ’‘Acceptance

Acceptance is the act of embracing the reality of a situation, especially one that is difficult or painful. In relation to grief, the video discusses acceptance as a challenging but crucial step. It suggests not to numb oneself to the reality of what has happened but to allow feelings to flow, recognizing that there are no right or wrong feelings during the grieving process.

πŸ’‘Companionship

Companionship in the video is highlighted as a key factor in the grieving process. It refers to the support and presence of others during times of grief. The script notes that companions can either aid or hinder the healing process, with the best companions being those who know how to listen and provide a presence without necessarily trying to 'fix' the grief.

πŸ’‘Art as an Outlet

Art as an outlet is presented in the video as a method to channel the heavy emotions associated with grief into a creative endeavor. The script mentions psychotherapist Megan Devine's recommendation to use art forms like painting or graphic novels as a way to express and release emotions, allowing for an emotional outlet that can aid in the healing process.

πŸ’‘Journaling

Journaling is the act of writing down one's thoughts and feelings, which the video suggests as a therapeutic practice for understanding and confronting emotions, including grief. The script explains that writing in a journal can help dissect and come to terms with emotions over time, providing a private space for individuals to express themselves freely.

πŸ’‘Rituals

Rituals, as discussed in the video, are personal practices or ceremonies created to honor and remember loved ones who have passed away. The script encourages the creation of rituals that reflect the happiness of the deceased, such as pouring a cup of tea and reminiscing about them, as a way to maintain a connection and pay tribute to their memory.

πŸ’‘Five Stages of Grief

The Five Stages of Grief is a concept introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969, which outlines a linear model of grief involving denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The video critiques this model as outdated and not representative of the complex, non-linear nature of grief. It advises focusing on present healing without trying to fit into predetermined stages.

πŸ’‘Emotional Release

Emotional release in the video refers to the process of letting out pent-up emotions, which is considered healthy for the grieving process. The script mentions that artistic expression and journaling can serve as forms of emotional release, allowing individuals to 'get grief off their chest' and move towards healing.

Highlights

Life's inevitability and the personal realization of mortality.

The individual nature of the grieving process with no one-size-fits-all approach to healing.

The complexity of grief as an emotional journey that should not be rushed.

The importance of not becoming numb to one's feelings during grief.

The value of companionship and the role of supportive friends and family in the healing process.

The recommendation to use art as an outlet for channeling grief into a creative expression.

The benefits of journaling as a means to confront and understand one's emotions.

Creating personal rituals to honor the memory of loved ones as a form of healing.

The outdated nature of the five stages of grief model and the modern view of grief as a non-linear process.

The encouragement to focus on present healing rather than anticipating future stages of grief.

The video's aim to provide techniques for grief relief without oversimplifying the process.

The acknowledgment that there are no quick fixes or step-by-step guides for dealing with grief.

The reassurance that viewers are not alone in their grief and the availability of professional support.

The advice to own one's feelings without judgment, recognizing there are no right or wrong emotions.

The suggestion that companions should listen rather than try to fix one's grief.

The idea that art can provide an emotional release and a way to express grief.

The option to keep a journal for those who find it easier to write rather than speak their emotions.

The concept of rituals being a simple and personal way to honor the memory of the deceased.

The invitation for viewers to share their own experiences with grief and healing.

Transcripts

play00:04

at some point in our lives we will be

play00:07

faced with the realization of our own

play00:09

mortality as hair begins to gray and our

play00:11

bones turn frail we begin to understand

play00:13

that life as precious as it is must

play00:16

inevitably come to an end we all go

play00:18

through the grieving process in our own

play00:20

ways there is no universal method for

play00:22

healing if you've dealt with this kind

play00:24

of loss you know that the healing

play00:26

process sometimes feels impossible

play00:28

you might feel like this lingering

play00:30

feeling will remain with you forever you

play00:33

may hear the familiar bells of their

play00:34

favorite song or catch a faint scent

play00:36

that reminds you of their cooking we

play00:38

hope that these few techniques can

play00:40

relieve that pain and help you move

play00:41

forward while honoring their lives

play00:43

there's no quick fix dealing with grief

play00:46

isn't some scientific problem that we

play00:48

saw grief is an incredibly complex

play00:50

emotional journey and it isn't a process

play00:53

that we should rush we're not suggesting

play00:55

that grief is something you can fix by

play00:57

watching a quick youtube video it's

play00:59

definitely not that simple so as you

play01:01

watch this video of techniques to

play01:03

relieve your pain understand that it's

play01:05

never as simple as a step by step guide

play01:07

if you feel overwhelmed there are

play01:10

professionals family and friends that

play01:12

you can reach out to you are not alone

play01:14

acceptance okay so this is obviously

play01:18

much easier said than done accepting our

play01:20

grief sometimes feels like a battle in

play01:22

our minds part of us just wants to

play01:24

reject that reality of what has happened

play01:25

and sometimes we reject our deepest

play01:28

emotions which burn and twist deep

play01:30

inside of us but it's important not to

play01:32

let yourself become numb own those

play01:35

feelings and understand why you're

play01:36

feeling them let them flow through every

play01:39

fiber of your body remember there are no

play01:41

right or wrong feelings it's okay to

play01:44

feel everything that you're feeling even

play01:46

if it's confusing or disturbing

play01:48

companionship is key the people around

play01:51

us make a huge difference when we're

play01:52

dealing with grief but as many experts

play01:54

have noted they can either help or

play01:56

hinder our healing process there are

play01:59

those who try to fix our grief

play02:00

encouraging us to get over it this

play02:03

obviously isn't very helpful

play02:05

best companions during these dark times

play02:07

know how to listen sometimes there are

play02:09

no words to express how we're feeling

play02:11

and no words to reassure us and those

play02:14

people understand this these people are

play02:16

just there for us whether it means

play02:18

providing a distraction or lending a

play02:20

shoulder to cry on use art as an outlet

play02:23

those deep heavy feelings of grief

play02:25

aren't just going to disappear but you

play02:28

can channel those feelings into

play02:29

something creative an art is one of the

play02:31

most helpful healing methods in her book

play02:34

it's okay that you're not okay

play02:36

psychotherapist Megan Devine recommends

play02:38

taking those emotions and pouring them

play02:40

into a painting a graphic novel or any

play02:43

other art form that gives you an outlet

play02:44

artistic expression lets you get grief

play02:47

off your chest as it's a form of

play02:48

emotional release write a journal

play02:51

sometimes it's easier to keep silent

play02:53

rather than express our emotions however

play02:55

most psychologists agree that it's not a

play02:57

good idea to bottle everything inside if

play03:00

art isn't your thing keeping a journal

play03:02

is a great way to understand our

play03:03

emotions including his grief when

play03:06

writing our emotions we confront dissect

play03:09

and ultimately come to terms with them

play03:11

based on the research on journaling in

play03:13

the psychological community we

play03:15

understand its benefits especially if

play03:17

you write over the course of multiple

play03:19

days you don't have to share your

play03:21

journal with everyone and that gives you

play03:23

total freedom to truly express yourself

play03:25

create your own rituals to honor those

play03:28

who have passed we don't mean

play03:30

shamanistic rituals that involve

play03:31

intermediaries or ancient traditions

play03:34

these rituals can be anything you want

play03:36

them to be dr. Kim Bateman a clinical

play03:39

psychologist encourages us to think

play03:41

about what made our loved ones happy

play03:43

when creating our own rituals maybe your

play03:46

loved one really enjoyed a specific type

play03:48

of tea your ritual could be something

play03:50

really simple such as pouring your loved

play03:52

one a cup of tea and thinking of a

play03:54

memory of them while their cup sits and

play03:56

steams it doesn't matter what you

play03:58

believe in this is just a way for you to

play04:00

honor their memory plain and simple

play04:03

don't trust in the five stages of grief

play04:05

most of us are familiar with the so

play04:07

called five stages of grief this was

play04:09

introduced to us by a psychiatrist

play04:11

Elisabeth kubler-ross way back in 1969

play04:14

and while it's definitely an interesting

play04:16

model the entire concept is now a little

play04:19

outdated

play04:20

most modern psychologists agree that

play04:22

grief is not a linear process and it

play04:24

can't be summed up as a simple equation

play04:26

or formula grief is experienced

play04:29

differently by everyone focus on how you

play04:31

are healing presently without

play04:33

anticipating what the next stage of this

play04:35

process may be if you found this video

play04:38

helpful at all please let us know in the

play04:40

comments as we stated earlier we're not

play04:42

trying to simplify grief and we don't

play04:44

claim to have all the answers

play04:46

that being said feel free to share your

play04:48

own experiences with grief and how you

play04:50

heal from these experiences you may help

play04:53

somebody else going through something

play04:54

thank you and we appreciate you all as

play04:57

always

play04:58

[Music]

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Related Tags
Grief HealingEmotional JourneyLoss AcceptanceSupport SystemsArt TherapyJournalingPersonal RitualsPsychological HealthCoping StrategiesHealing Process