Ghosted My Cheating Wife & Got Married to Our Child’s Nanny Instead

Summary

In this episode of 'Our Space,' we delve into a tale of love, betrayal, and redemption. A man recounts his journey from a tumultuous marriage, marked by his ex-wife's infidelity and bullying, to finding happiness with his child's nanny. The story navigates the complexities of divorce, custody battles, and the emergence of a new, loving relationship. Meanwhile, another individual grapples with trust issues after discovering their partner's past indiscretions, highlighting the importance of honesty and integrity in the early stages of a relationship.

Takeaways

• 😔 The narrator experienced a tumultuous relationship with an ex-wife who engaged in cheating and manipulative behavior, leading to a divorce.
• 🏡 After the divorce, the narrator meticulously planned his exit, including moving to a new house, removing himself from shared responsibilities, and filing for divorce without confrontation.
• 📱 The narrator faced a barrage of texts and calls from his ex-wife's family, ranging from apologies to threats, prompting him to change his phone number.
• 👨‍👦‍👦 The divorce proceedings were challenging, with the ex-wife making false accusations, but the narrator successfully gained primary custody of his son.
• 🏠 The narrator found peace and a sense of relief after moving out and starting a new life with his son, free from the previous relationship's stress.
• 💔 The ex-wife attempted to re-enter the narrator's life, using various tactics including love bombing and trying to move in uninvited, all of which were firmly rejected.
• 💑 The narrator developed a close relationship with his son's care provider, who was significantly different in character from his ex-wife, leading to a new, happy marriage.
• 👶 The narrator's current wife, despite the age gap, has been accepted by his son as a mother figure, indicating a strong and loving bond.
• 🚫 The ex-wife's attempt to confront the narrator's new wife was met with further legal action, reinforcing the boundaries established for her behavior.
• 👶🏻 The narrator and his current wife are planning to have a child together, signifying a stable and forward-looking relationship.
• 🤔 The script also presents another individual's dilemma of feeling betrayed by a partner who had a casual relationship before becoming exclusive, sparking a debate on trust and commitment in the early stages of dating.

Q & A

What was the main issue that led to the narrator's divorce from his ex-wife?

The main issue was the ex-wife's infidelity, as she was cheating on the narrator with her ex.

How did the narrator handle the situation when he discovered his ex-wife's cheating?

The narrator carefully planned his departure, found a new house, removed himself from the apartment lease and joint accounts, and left while his ex-wife was away for facial therapy.

What was the reaction from the ex-wife's family after the narrator left?

The ex-wife's family initially apologized and begged the narrator to reconsider the divorce, but later some family members sent threats and insults.

How did the court handle the custody and financial aspects of the divorce?

The court awarded the narrator primary custody of his son, dismissed his ex-wife's claim of kidnapping, and required her to have supervised visitation due to her threatening messages. The narrator was also awarded almost all of his money and only had to pay a small amount of alimony for a year.

How did the narrator's relationship with his son's care provider develop?

The care provider and the narrator grew close over time, and she eventually confessed her attraction to him, leading to a relationship.

What was the age difference between the narrator and his second wife?

There was an 11-year age difference, with the narrator being 30 and his second wife being 19 when they started dating.

How did the narrator's ex-wife try to re-enter his life after the divorce?

The ex-wife tried to re-enter his life by expressing regret, attempting to move in with him, and using love bombing tactics, but the narrator refused her attempts.

What was the narrator's reaction when his ex-wife confronted his current wife at her nursing school?

The narrator was very upset and nearly got physical with his ex-wife. They filed more restraining orders against her, and she is now not allowed to be near his family.

What is the current status of the narrator's relationship with his ex-wife's family?

The narrator remains close with his ex-wife's cousins, who respect him and continue to ask about his well-being and his son.

What is the narrator's advice for others who have been betrayed in a relationship?

The narrator advises not to settle for anything less than love and respect, and to believe that there is always someone who will value you more.

Outlines

00:00

💔 Overcoming Betrayal: A Tale of Divorce and New Love

The narrator recounts his journey from a tumultuous marriage to finding happiness with his child's nanny. He describes his ex-wife's infidelity and the subsequent divorce, which was contentious and involved legal battles over their son. Despite the challenges, he emerges stronger, eventually marrying the nanny who provided a stark contrast to his ex-wife with her kindness and support. The story concludes with the narrator's current wife facing a confrontation from his ex, leading to further legal measures to protect their family.

05:02

😔 The Dilemma of Trust: Navigating Early Relationship Betrayals

The second paragraph details a man's struggle with trust after discovering his girlfriend had a casual encounter while they were dating. Despite the girlfriend's insistence that they were not officially exclusive at the time, the man feels deceived, as they had been on multiple dates and were moving towards a serious relationship. The girlfriend's friends are revealed to have encouraged her to keep her options open, which the man finds manipulative. After much deliberation, he decides to end the relationship, prioritizing his desire for a partner who treats him with respect from the start.

10:04

🤔 The Conundrum of Dating Rules: When Logic Fails

This paragraph explores the complexities of dating and the inconsistencies in people's actions versus their stated intentions. It discusses a scenario where a woman justifies casual hookups while simultaneously seeking a serious relationship, leaving her partner feeling like a second choice. The narrative includes commentary from others who express their views on the situation, with a general consensus that such behavior is unacceptable in the context of a budding relationship. The paragraph concludes with the decision to end the relationship, highlighting the importance of trust and consistent behavior from the outset.

Keywords

💡Ghosting

Ghosting refers to the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without any explanation, typically in the context of dating or relationships. In the video, the narrator mentions ghosting his ex-wife after discovering her infidelity, highlighting the extreme measure taken due to the betrayal and the need for a clean break.

💡Cheating

Cheating is the act of being unfaithful or dishonest, especially in a marriage or relationship. The video's theme revolves around the narrator's decision to leave his ex-wife after discovering her cheating, which is a central event leading to the subsequent narrative of finding love again.

💡Divorce

Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage. The script details the narrator's journey through a divorce, which is marked by conflict and legal battles, emphasizing the emotional and logistical challenges one faces when ending a marriage.

💡Primary Care Provider

A primary care provider is a healthcare professional who is the first point of contact for a person's health concerns. In the context of the video, the narrator is recognized as the primary care provider for his son by the court, which influences the custody decision, showcasing the importance of parental responsibility in legal matters.

💡Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. The video mentions the ex-wife using gaslighting tactics, illustrating a form of abusive behavior that can be present in toxic relationships.

💡Custody

Custody refers to the legal rights and responsibilities associated with the care and upbringing of a child. The script describes the narrator being awarded primary custody of his son, with the ex-wife receiving supervised visitation, reflecting the legal outcomes that can arise from family disputes.

💡Restraining Orders

A restraining order is a legal order issued by a court to protect a person from harassment, threats, or violence. The video mentions the narrator and his current wife filing restraining orders against the ex-wife, demonstrating a measure taken for personal safety and legal protection.

💡Love Bombing

Love bombing is the act of showering someone with excessive affection or attention in an attempt to quickly form a bond. The video describes the ex-wife's attempts to win back the narrator's affection through love bombing, which is a manipulative tactic often used to regain control in relationships.

💡Second Chance

A second chance refers to an opportunity to redo or improve upon a previous failure or mistake. The video's theme touches on the idea of second chances in love, as the narrator finds happiness with a new partner after a failed marriage, suggesting that it's possible to move on and find fulfillment.

💡Infidelity

Infidelity is the act of being unfaithful or disloyal, typically in a sexual context within a marriage or relationship. The script revolves around the discovery of the ex-wife's infidelity, which becomes the catalyst for the narrator's journey towards self-discovery and new relationships.

💡Self-Centered

Self-centeredness refers to a preoccupation with one's own interests, needs, or desires, often at the expense of others. The video describes the ex-wife as self-centered, highlighting a character trait that can lead to negative dynamics in relationships and contribute to their breakdown.

Highlights

A man shares his journey from a painful divorce to finding happiness with his child's nanny.

The narrator's ex-wife was self-centered and uninvolved in family responsibilities.

The ex-wife's infidelity was the final straw leading to the narrator's decision to leave.

A strategic and swift departure from the marriage involved moving and blocking all contact.

The ex-wife's family had mixed reactions, including apologies and threats.

The divorce process was contentious, with accusations of kidnapping and infidelity.

The narrator was awarded primary custody, highlighting his role as the primary caregiver.

The ex-wife's attempts to re-enter the narrator's life were met with firm refusals.

The nanny's gentle and supportive nature contrasted sharply with the ex-wife's behavior.

A slow and careful courtship with the nanny eventually led to marriage.

The narrator's son's acceptance of the nanny as a mother figure was a pivotal moment.

The ex-wife's continued attempts to disrupt the narrator's new life were met with legal actions.

The ex-wife's social media posts about forgiveness and victimhood were seen as insincere.

The narrator's current wife's kindness and understanding helped him overcome trust issues.

The couple is planning to have a child together, signifying a fresh start.

A second story involves a man considering ending a relationship due to his girlfriend's past casual encounters.

The girlfriend's justification for her past actions was deemed unsatisfactory by the man.

The man decides to break up with his girlfriend, prioritizing trust and respect from the start of a relationship.

Transcripts

hey hey hey time for the out of this

world story from

ourspace never settle for less than you

deserve there's always someone out there

who will love and respect you more today

on our space just another

statistic of first an OP looking for a

second chance at

love I ghosted a cheating ex-wife years

later I married my child's Nanny and now

I'm now a statistic and a Trope but I am

so happy

I really struggled about making this

post because my divorce is still a great

source of anger at times not much as it

used to be but it really triggers my

negative brain but my therapist told me

that it helps to write a journal my

ex-wife and I had a 2-year relationship

we had our son before we married and I

really tried hard to be a good husband

and father starting as an introvert

meant that I really had to start from

scratch but I can honestly say I did my

best to learn my ex and I were total

opposites and maybe opposites attracted

in the beginning but then we started to

butt heads a lot my ex-wife I learned

hated to compromise and would use

bullying and gaslighting tactics to get

her way she was a spender and wanted to

splurge on things because she thought

that she deserved it looking back she

wasn't really a good mom or wife she was

very self-centered and spent more time

on her phone than with me or my son I

took care of everything including my

son's hospital and Etc and she didn't

want any more responsibility while I was

being burnt out from all the work and

responsibilities

the last draw was when she was cheating

on me with her ex both of us knew that

infidelity was not acceptable from the

beginning in the deal breaker as soon as

I learned I knew that I needed to leave

or start a fight so I carefully planned

how I was going to leave I found a house

to rent 2 hours away from where we were

I work remotely so that wasn't an issue

I removed myself from the apartment

lease and all of the utilities removed

myself from the joint account that we

had and moved while wife went to leave

for some facial therapy before I left I

left her with divorce papers with copies

of evidence that I also sent to her

family members exactly at the same time

the moving company and I left our old

apartment I blocked on everything I

could basically I left everything in 6

hours after I moved everything into my

new place I was bombarded by texts and

calls from her side of the family mostly

I got apologies from her cousins since

they knew from the beginning what might

happen her mom apologized a lot saying

that she didn't raise her daughter well

and both her and my ex's Aunt begged me

to reconsider the divorce then I started

getting messages of threats and insults

from my ex at a different number I just

kept blocking those but it got so bad

that I just got a new phone the divorce

was slightly rough because of my ex my

ex tried to say that I kidnapped my son

and tried to sue me but I presented all

the facts that I was the one solely

responsible for everything at home and

for our son's Health speech therapy Etc

the judge was surprisingly understanding

and said that since I was the primary

care provider for my son he dismissed my

ex's claim and then I present all the

evidence of of my ex's infidelity

including all the money she spent I even

got the affair partner to confess long

story short the affair partner still

lived with his parents and I threatened

to sue him for alienation of affection

unless he confessed it was a long shot

to be honest but he caved in because of

all the evidence I was given almost all

of my money I just had to pay my ex a

little bit of alimony for a year since

she quit her work and during custody I

was rewarded primary custody with my ex

getting supervised visitation she only

got that because of all the threatening

messages that she sent me she shot

herself in the foot it was so bad for

her because I now lived 2 hours away

from her by car and she couldn't drive

so she didn't even visit my son for

months until she got her cousin to drive

her I didn't really realize how bad it

was until only after I started Living by

myself and my son I felt like a huge

weight was off my shoulders and I felt

at peace with myself so I decided to

make the best of this change I still

worked at home and because of my son's

autism I was able to get a care provider

to care for my son and get an ABA

therapist to help his therapy at home it

was so much better than I can't describe

in words my ex shifted tactics after a

few months of seeing my son saying that

she regretted her actions and wanted to

be a better person for me and my son but

I wasn't having it one time she came

with her luggage and tried to move in

but I refused and called the cops

everything from gaslighting to crying

and everything to get her way again so I

told her to never come back I even got

the judge to deny her visitation since

she tried to force her way into moving

in a few times she then started love

bombing me with texts she even got her

mom and Aunt to help her but since that

was still with my old phone I just ended

up giving it up to a cell phone disposal

for a chunk of change then about one

school year passed and my son's care

provider and I got really close she was

very sweet and gentle so much different

from my ex she was so helpful and

thoughtful and so positive but she was

11 years younger than me back then I was

30 and she was 19 going to nursing

school so I didn't make any advances but

one day when my son was down for his nap

she cooked for me a wonderful meal and

we ate together and she confessed to

being attracted to me she told me that

she wanted to date me for real I

initially thought that it wasn't going

to be that smooth since respit care

providers have rules about

fraternization and getting close with

clients and the age Gap was certainly an

issue but she said that she would quit

her provider work if she had to I told

her I needed time to think in process my

divorce really had shattered my desire

to date anyone but I was so attracted to

her so I told her that I would like to

do this slowly and proc properly and

four years of dating and her graduating

and becoming a full-time nurse we tied

the knot I learned from my past mistakes

and decided to be a much better husband

to her and thanks to her vivaciousness

that wasn't hard to do my son even

called her mom now in fact the first

time he did that was when I knew I had

to marry her and I admit I took the

relationship very slowly because I

wanted to be careful strangely enough

I'm still close with my ex's cousins

they're all old school and while they

care for my ex they respect me even more

and always ask about my son and how I'm

doing all of them are either

firefighters in military so they don't

play they even invite my family and I to

vacation with them and now the sore

portion that still makes me angry my ex

she somehow found out my wife a few

years back and confronted her at her

freaking nurse school that really scared

my now wife and I nearly punched her

when I came to break up the situation my

now wife and I filed more restraining

orders against her and now my ex is now

not allowed to be anywhere near my

family even our son she can only video

chat with him now or have supervised

visitation in a place of our choosing

after our divorce finalized she returned

back to work and got herself living

alone over the years she tried to get

her cousins to convince me to help her

but they just straight up refused even

her mom and aunt gave her up our last

talk with each other she told me what

she could have done to have gotten me

back and I jokingly said that she would

have to join the military to learn some

discipline and she actually did join

only to be kicked out out for some

disciplinary reason or something now she

is just passive aggressive posting on

social media about forgiveness Second

Chances and how modern women are victims

and some of her followers actually

believe her

lies my current wife told me not to

worry about it she is so kind and

understanding knowing that I have so

many trust issues and such we are

planning to have our first child

together soon and I want to do things

better this time I guess the moral of

the story that I want to tell every

betrayed man is there is always someone

who will love and respect you more than

your current spouse don't settle for

anything anything

less trying to move back in it's like

she thought she could hit the reset

button on your relationship without even

asking if it was okay too little too

late it's almost like she thought you'd

open the door and say oh great you're

back I missed all the chaos well and I'm

not surprised she got kicked out for

disciplinary reasons when all she did

was Gaslight you throughout your

marriage too bad she didn't realize that

getting kicked out of the military for

discipline issues is just a different

kind of Failure to Launch and the irony

that her ex aair partner caved under

your threats is priceless but hey it

sounds like you found your happy ending

with someone who brings real positivity

into your life what do you think do you

think op handled this

well next up swiping left never felt so

good for our next

op my 27 male girlfriend 22 female of a

year slept with another guy while we

were taking it slow a month into dating

me I have been with this girl I'll call

Jess for close to a year now since

specifics matter here we started dating

around last Thanksgiving but it was only

about a month later when we said we were

in an official relationship I really

liked this girl from the get-go and

we've gotten very close since then and

we're actually planning on moving

together soon here's a problem recently

Jess and I ran into a guy at a small get

together with mutual friends they

exchanged a weird look like there was

something between them but I didn't

think too much of it at the time during

the party something came up about the

place Jess went to for a date the time

was clear since it was Christmas Market

in my town

and again I thought something was off

about the guy well later that night I

actually got a text from him he got my

number from one of the mutual friends

but said hey I don't know you but I

thought you should know that Jess and I

hooked up night after Christmas I

confronted Jess about this and I could

tell she tensed up right away she got

this sad look on her face but confessed

right away she said that she met this

guy on Tinder and hooked up a couple of

times but stopped any contact before we

became official she said she wasn't sure

we would get into a relationship at the

time but she still felt bad about that I

found out this way she said she

considered telling me but was afraid it

would ruin things between us I told her

I needed some time to think and

proceeded to get drunk that night and

ignored her texts the thing is I feel

very betrayed and I'm really considering

ending things sure we weren't official

when this happened but we had already

been on multiple dates at the time and I

thought it was pretty clear that we were

moving towards a full-fledged

relationship on my side I had no

interest in pursuing other girls at that

point because I only wanted to be with

Jess and on her end she was definitely

hinting at us evolving into a couple and

strongly hinting at exclusivity the

other part that kills me is that during

this early stage Jess specifically said

she wanted to take things slow

physically until we knew each other

better but during the same time she

hooks up with a guy she barely knew from

Tinder when I asked her about this she

said it's different because she took it

slow with me specifically because she

thought we would get into a relationship

but it was somehow different with a

casual hookup that logic makes zero

sense to me I don't really want to talk

about this with my friends because I

think they would hate Jess if we ended

up staying together but I would like to

hear opinions on here would you stay in

a relationship like this if things were

going well but the beginning was so

shady ask for opinions and we'll get

some first opinion in my opinion if

you're dating someone and moving towards

a serious relationship you don't

freaking bang other people this would be

a deal breaker for me but you do you man

if you can't get past it then end

it thep replies yeah that's how I feel

as well well it would have been one

thing if she was just talking to other

guys in the early stages while we were

still defining things of course that's

fine and normal but it feels like a slap

in the face that she found another guy

to sleep with after we had already gone

on quite a few dates and I made it clear

I thought we were moving towards a

serious relationship which she seemed to

also acknowledge there's no way she

didn't know I would feel hurt that she

did

that the op also added to a deleted

comment yeah her logic made no sense to

me she tried to explain that with guys

she wants to be in a relation ship she

wants to feel special and wants to build

an emotional connection but her guys she

sees no future with she sometimes just

wanted some physical fun that meant

nothing but I just can't wrap my mind

about that it feels like a gut punch

that as we were getting closer and

building a connection she didn't want to

be intimate with me but instead

preferred to find someone else no matter

how she rationalizes it it's hard not to

feel like a second choice of

[Music]

sorts it's almost impressive how she

managed to mix up exclusivity with a

side of casual hookups maybe she thought

the term taking things slow was a

culinary reference like slow roasting a

relationship while quickly seasoning it

with random Tinder dates if you're

looking for a clear answer it would be

to get out of there as soon as possible

if she's not willing to follow her own

rules from the start she's never going

to update 23 days later as the title

says I decided to break up Jess I kept

going back and forth because I was

worried I was throwing away a great

thing over something that happened in

the past but the problem problem is I

thought I really wouldn't be able to get

past it I can't help what she did was

really crappy yeah I know that

technically she did not cheat but she

knew that I wanted a relationship and

that we were potentially moving in that

direction but meanwhile she expected me

to plan and pay for interesting dates

Court her and proved that I was worthy

of her while she happily hooked up with

randos who basically did nothing but

show an interest in screwing F that in a

follow-up conversation it also came up

that her friends guilted her to act like

this that she should basically allow

herself to have fun and to keep her

casual options open but with me to make

me work for it and show that I wasn't

just looking for sex but was capable of

becoming a committed partner the whole

thing just seemed so manipulative and

ugly and these were also mutual friends

who I consider to be nice girls and now

my friends as well now I never want to

see any of those pieces of crap ever

again anyway I know this is starting to

sound a bit like a rant but I felt

pretty pissed off and basically called

it quits the actual breakup was actually

quite unpleasant No harsh words were

exchanged but Jess cried and we kind of

talked about some happy times I guess

that's the hardest part about this like

I don't think she is a bad girl and

maybe we could have had a nice future

together like we did over the past few

months but in the end I do think I made

the right decision I want to be with

someone who treats me well from the

get-go not someone who manipulates me

while playing games just so she can have

her cake and eat it

too she just wanted the cake and a full

five course meal you made the right call

op if nothing else you've learned that

dating Jess was like trying to win a

game where the rules keep changing so

long Jess see you never again what would

you have done and thank you for joining

us today on ourspace be sure to like And

subscribe and hit the notification Bell

so you don't miss out on our next video

see you next time

[Music]