The most important leadership quality is patience | Gabe de Jong | TEDxGroningen
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a personal anecdote about playing hide and seek, leading to a discussion on the value of patience. They argue that our fast-paced, impatient lives hinder us from truly living and experiencing life fully. The speaker suggests that by slowing down and counting to ten, we can disengage from autopilot, reflect, and make better decisions. This practice can enhance creativity, strengthen relationships, and improve personal leadership.
Takeaways
- π The speaker humorously recounts their first experience playing hide and seek, where they were told to count to 100 facing a tree, which took them nearly three minutes.
- π€ They discovered a trick to count to 100 quickly by counting 'one to ten' ten times, using their fingers as a mnemonic device.
- πββοΈ The speaker draws an analogy between the desire for speed in counting and the modern rush to get things done quickly, which can detract from the quality of life.
- π« The script suggests that impatience can negatively impact various aspects of life, including personal growth, creativity, and relationships.
- π§ It emphasizes the importance of patience in allowing for reflection, better decision-making, and the cultivation of innovative ideas.
- π‘ The speaker argues that patience is a critical quality for personal leadership and can lead to a more fulfilling life.
- π A counterintuitive suggestion is made: to develop patience, one should practice counting to 10 slowly, which can help disengage from autopilot mode.
- π€ The script highlights how taking the time to listen patiently can strengthen relationships and allow for deeper emotional connections.
- π The speaker encourages the practice of counting to 10 slowly in various situations, such as making decisions or engaging in difficult conversations, to enhance clarity and empathy.
- π The script concludes with a call to action, inviting the audience to practice counting to 10 slowly together as a means to embody the lesson of patience.
Q & A
What trick does the speaker mention for counting to 100 quickly?
-The speaker suggests counting 'one to ten' ten times, using your ten fingers to keep track, which is a faster way to reach one hundred.
How does the speaker relate the trick of counting quickly to modern life?
-The speaker relates the quick counting trick to the impatience in modern life, where people want everything fast and are unable to wait, which can ruin the 'game of life'.
Why does the speaker believe impatience can be detrimental to our lives?
-Impatience can lead to living life on autopilot, focusing on short-term success, and not reflecting on the state of our lives, which can result in a repetitive and unfulfilling life.
When do we tend to get our best ideas according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that we get our best ideas when our minds are in an easy mode, such as during a shower or a walk, rather than in an autopilot or fight mode.
How does impatience affect relationships according to the script?
-Impatience can kill relationships by not allowing us to truly listen and understand others, leading to a breakdown in communication and connection.
What is the most important quality for personal leadership that the speaker emphasizes?
-The speaker emphasizes that patience is the most important quality for personal leadership.
What alternative to counting quickly does the speaker propose to improve patience?
-The speaker proposes counting to 10 slowly as a way to improve patience, which helps to disengage autopilot mode and encourages reflection and better decision-making.
How can counting to 10 slowly help in decision-making?
-Counting to 10 slowly can help in decision-making by allowing time to reflect and consider options more thoroughly, leading to better choices.
What benefits does the speaker attribute to counting to 10 slowly in terms of creativity?
-Counting to 10 slowly can help in creativity by allowing the mind to relax and potentially generate new ideas without immediately dismissing them.
How does the speaker suggest counting to 10 slowly can improve communication in relationships?
-Counting to 10 slowly can improve communication by encouraging active listening and giving others the space to express themselves, which can strengthen relationships.
Outlines
π³ The Lesson of Patience in Life
The speaker recounts a childhood memory of playing hide and seek where they were instructed to count to 100 before starting the search. They discovered a trick to count quickly by using their fingers to count 'one to ten' repeatedly, which led to a realization about the desire for speed in modern life. This impatience, they argue, can ruin the 'game' of life, as it prevents us from living deliberately and reflecting on our actions. The speaker suggests that patience is a crucial quality for personal leadership and that practicing patience, such as counting to 10 slowly, can lead to better decision-making, creativity, and stronger relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Patience
π‘Autopilot
π‘Impatience
π‘Counting to 100
π‘Counting to 10 slowly
π‘Mindfulness
π‘Relationships
π‘Creativity
π‘Decision-making
π‘Personal Leadership
Highlights
The speaker shares a personal anecdote about playing hide and seek, highlighting the importance of patience.
A trick for counting to a hundred quickly is introduced, emphasizing the desire for speed in our lives.
The analogy between counting quickly and the impatience prevalent in modern life is drawn.
Impatience is identified as a factor that can ruin the 'game' of life.
The concept of living life on autopilot due to impatience is discussed.
The importance of reflecting on the state of our lives is emphasized.
The idea that creativity is stifled by impatience and autopilot mode is presented.
The speaker suggests that the best ideas come when the mind is relaxed, not in fight mode.
Impatience is described as detrimental to relationships, advocating for active listening.
The need for patience in personal leadership is highlighted as a key quality.
An easy method to cultivate patience is proposed: counting to 10 slowly.
Counting to 10 slowly can help disengage autopilot and encourage reflection.
The practice of counting to 10 slowly can lead to better decision-making.
Counting to 10 slowly can enhance creativity by allowing ideas to form without immediate dismissal.
The act of counting to 10 slowly can improve communication and understanding in relationships.
A call to action is made to practice counting to 10 slowly to enhance decision-making, creativity, and relationships.
The speaker leads a practice session of counting to 10 slowly to demonstrate its effectiveness.
Transcripts
when I was playing IDs first time my
sister told me to face a tree count to
100 and then start looking so I did
I think counting to 100 took me almost
three minutes and of course couldn't
find anyone they were long gone
extremely well hidden but then I learned
a trick to count to a hundred very very
fast does anyone know the trick it's to
count ten times ten you have ten fingers
and you use them to count ten time stamp
it goes like this one to ten one to ten
one to ten one to ten one to ten one to
ten one to ten one to ten one to ten one
hundred yeah that's how you do that
and then this fast counting to a hundred
I see an analogy and how we live our
lives today we want everything fast we
cannot wait for anything or anyone we
are impatient and impatience ruins the
game and the game is called your life
impatience prevents us from living the
life we want we live with you autopilot
engaged
hunting for short-term success we don't
take time to reflect on the state of our
lives regulary
and by doing so we end up with a life
that just happened doing the same stuff
over and over again
even if it's not working and look at
creativity when do we get the best ideas
when we want a good idea quick I don't
think so I bet you get your best ideas
when you're in the shower or walking
with your dog when your mind is an easy
mode instead of an autopilot fight mode
and then relationships and and this this
is a tough one
impatience kills relationships when we
ask someone hey are you doing and
someone replies well not too good if we
don't pay attention or automated replies
well okay great to you but if we don't
take if we don't take time to really
listen and understand the people we care
about sooner or later the relationship
will break so if you want your life to
be worth living if you want to make a
difference you need patience patience is
the most important quality and personal
leadership today and I'm glad to tell
you that there's an easy way to be more
patient today we need accounting skill
of hours not four counting to 100 very
very fast but four counting to 10 slowly
over the years I've learned that when
you count to 10 slowly beautiful things
that were hidden
we will reveal itself counting to 10
slowly will help you to disengage your
autopilot and take time to reflect to
make better decisions and things go
faster in the end counting to 10 slowly
will help you to form great ideas
without throwing them away immediately
counting to 10 slowly will help you to
really listen to people giving them room
to build up courage to say things that
they find difficult to say so next time
when you want to make when you have to
make an important decision or you are
talking to someone who has a difficult
time or you want to enable learning and
creativity use your counting skill and
to encourage you to do so let's practice
this together one time we count to 10
together slowly here we go 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10
you
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