What Do Women REALLY Want in a Man? (12 PROVEN Traits!)

Summary

This video script delves into the intrinsic traits women find attractive in men, beyond superficial desires. It emphasizes the importance of authenticity, emotional security, and self-assuredness. The speaker outlines 12 key characteristics, including the ability to stand up for oneself and others, congruency between words and actions, and having a strong sense of self that doesn't compromise for the sake of pleasing a partner. The script also highlights the significance of a man's independence and having a life purpose that transcends the relationship, suggesting that these qualities foster trust and respect.

Takeaways

• 💪 Women are attracted to men who can stand up to them, as it shows strength and the ability to stand up for them.
• 🚫 A man who can say 'no' is trustworthy because it demonstrates that his 'yes' is genuine and not manipulative.
• 🤝 Authenticity is key; women want men who are sincere, with words and actions that align.
• 🔗 Congruency between what a man says and does builds trust and emotional safety in a relationship.
• 🛡️ Security in oneself is attractive; men shouldn't compromise their values or standards just to please a woman.
• 💬 Men should clearly ask for what they want without making demands that compromise their own or her values.
• 🗝️ Leadership is important; women need men who can lead the relationship, making decisions that ensure safety and trust.
• ❓ Clarification over assumptions; men should avoid mind reading and instead ask for clarification to avoid misunderstandings.
• 🧠 Women appreciate men with their own opinions and who don't always agree with them, ensuring that communication is honest and real.
• 🔥 Women are drawn to men who desire them but don't need them, showing that they bring value to the relationship rather than being a necessity.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video script?

The main topic of the video script is to discuss the 12 traits that women find attractive in men, focusing on underlying qualities rather than superficial aspects.

What is the first trait mentioned in the video that women look for in a man?

The first trait mentioned is that women want a man who can stand up to them, which implies strength and the ability to stand up for them when needed.

Why is the ability to say 'no' to a woman important according to the script?

The ability to say 'no' is important because it prevents a man from being a 'Mr. Nice Guy' who passively-aggressively manipulates through niceness, and ensures that his 'yeses' are authentic.

What does the script suggest about being authentic and sincere in a relationship?

Being authentic and sincere means sometimes agreeing and sometimes disagreeing with a woman, which helps build trust as it shows that what a man is saying is true.

What is the difference between being consistent and congruent as per the video script?

Consistency refers to emotional maturity, while congruency means that a man's words match his actions, ensuring trust in his commitments.

Why is it important for a man to be secure within himself according to the script?

It is important for a man to be secure within himself so that he doesn't compromise his values or identity to please a woman, maintaining his strength and self-respect.

What does the script suggest about a man asking for what he wants without compromising his values?

The script suggests that a man should be able to ask for what he wants without making demands that go against a woman's beliefs, standing firm on issues important to him.

What role does leading the relationship play in the script's discussion of attractive traits?

Leading the relationship, including making decisions, is part of being an attractive man because it shows that he can guide the relationship and make her feel safe.

Why should a man avoid making assumptions according to the script?

A man should avoid making assumptions because it can lead to misunderstandings; instead, he should ask for clarification to ensure clear communication.

What does the script say about a man having his own opinions and not always agreeing with a woman?

The script states that having one's own opinions and not always agreeing with a woman is important for trust, as it shows that a man's words are genuine and not just to please.

How does the script describe the concept of 'alpha masculinity' and its importance?

The script describes 'alpha masculinity' as being strong, a leader, and secure within oneself without being a jerk. It's important for a man to display these qualities for a woman to feel he is a 'keeper'.

What is the significance of a man not needing a woman according to the video script?

The significance is that a man who doesn't need a woman will be more attractive because he is not desperate or needy, and he values her for who she is, not out of necessity.

What does the script suggest about having a greater purpose or passion in life for a man?

The script suggests that having a greater purpose or passion in life is essential for a man to avoid making a woman or relationship his sole focus, which can lead to being needy or overbearing.

How does the script relate the concept of 'always being willing to walk away' to a man's strength?

The script relates 'always being willing to walk away' to a man's strength by stating that if a woman knows a man is willing to leave if the relationship becomes unsatisfactory, it shows his self-respect and strength.

What is the final message of the script regarding self-improvement and the 'wake up to love program'?

The final message is that self-improvement is crucial, and the 'wake up to love program' can help men develop the discussed traits, enhancing their self-worth and relationships.

Outlines

00:00

🚹 Traits Women Find Attractive

The paragraph discusses 12 traits that women find attractive in men, which are not just materialistic or superficial but are rooted in deeper psychological needs. The speaker emphasizes that women are not just after money or physical attributes but are more responsive to qualities like a man who can stand up to them, assertiveness, authenticity, and congruence between words and actions. The speaker also highlights the importance of emotional security, self-assuredness, and the ability to lead in a relationship as key traits that women look for.

05:02

🗣️ Communication and Independence in Relationships

This paragraph focuses on the importance of clear communication and independence in relationships. It stresses the need for men to ask for clarification instead of assuming or mind-reading, which is a common mistake. It also underlines the value of having one's own opinions and the ability to express them without always needing to agree with the woman. The speaker points out that women are attracted to men who don't need them emotionally, which reflects a sense of strength and self-sufficiency. Additionally, the paragraph touches on the concept of alpha masculinity, differentiating between being a strong, secure man and being a selfish or aggressive person.

10:03

💪 Developing Personal Strength and Purpose

The final paragraph emphasizes the importance of having a greater purpose or passion in life that surpasses the importance of a romantic relationship. It suggests that men should not make a woman their sole purpose, as this can lead to neediness and an unhealthy dynamic. The speaker encourages men to find their own path, whether it be through self-development, family, career, or other meaningful pursuits. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for men to participate in the speaker's 'Wake Up to Love' program to enhance these qualities and improve their overall approach to relationships.

Keywords

💡Authenticity

Authenticity refers to the quality of being genuine and not false or imitation. In the context of the video, it is about being true to oneself and not pretending to be someone else, especially in a relationship. It is important because it builds trust. The script mentions that being authentic means sometimes agreeing and sometimes disagreeing with a woman, which allows her to trust that what you're saying is true.

💡Congruency

Congruency is the state of being consistent or in agreement. In the video, it is used to describe the alignment of one's words and actions. It is crucial for building trust in a relationship, as it shows that a man is reliable and his intentions are clear. The script uses the term to emphasize that saying one thing and doing another is incongruent and can lead to mistrust.

💡Security

Security within oneself is the sense of being emotionally and mentally stable without needing validation from others. In the video, it is highlighted as a trait that women find attractive because it shows a man is not dependent on a woman for his self-worth. The script points out that a man should not compromise his standards to please a woman, indicating his inner security.

💡Leadership

Leadership is the ability to guide, influence, and make decisions for a group or an individual. In the video, it is presented as a desirable trait in a man, as it implies strength and the ability to take charge in a relationship. The script mentions that women need a man who can lead the relationship and make decisions, which provides a sense of safety.

💡Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for oneself and express one's thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in an open and honest way. The video emphasizes the importance of a man being able to stand up to a woman, which is not about being confrontational but about being able to express oneself confidently. It is linked to the idea that if a man can stand up to a woman, he can also stand up for her.

💡Clarification

Clarification is the act of making something clear or explicit. In the video, it is suggested that men should ask for clarification instead of making assumptions, which is a common issue in communication. This trait is important because it prevents misunderstandings and shows respect for the other person's perspective.

💡Independence

Independence is the state of being self-reliant and not needing the support or help of others. The video script talks about the importance of a man not needing a woman in his life, which means he has his own life and interests. This trait is attractive because it shows that the man is not desperate or needy.

💡Alpha Masculinity

Alpha masculinity refers to the traditional male role of being dominant, strong, and assertive. In the video, it is described as a desirable trait in men, but it is also clarified that it should not equate to being a 'jerk'. Instead, it is about being strong and secure within oneself while still being capable of vulnerability and respect.

💡Purpose

Purpose is having a clear goal or ambition in life that gives meaning and direction. The video script suggests that a man should have a greater purpose or passion in life that is bigger than the relationship, which prevents him from becoming overly focused on the woman and helps maintain a healthy balance.

💡Loyalty

Loyalty is the quality of being faithful and committed to a person, cause, or activity. In the video, it is mentioned that loyalty should be earned over time through effort and proof, rather than given automatically. It is a trait that shows reliability and trustworthiness in a relationship.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is the state of being open to attack or damage, but in a personal context, it refers to the willingness to show one's feelings and weaknesses. The video script touches on the idea that being vulnerable while still being alpha and masculine is a balance that women find attractive, as it shows emotional depth and honesty.

Highlights

Women are attracted to men who can stand up to them, as it demonstrates strength and the ability to protect.

Men should be able to say no to a woman, establishing trust in their authenticity.

Authenticity and sincerity are key, meaning men should agree or disagree based on their true feelings.

Emotional safety for women comes from trusting a man's words and actions.

Congruency between words and actions is essential for trust in a relationship.

Men should be secure within themselves and not compromise their identity to please a woman.

Asking for what you want without compromising personal values is important in a relationship.

Women need a man who can lead the relationship and make decisions.

Men should ask for clarification instead of making assumptions, which women are prone to do.

Having one's own opinions and not always agreeing with a woman builds trust in a man's truthfulness.

Women respond to men who don't need them, showing independence and strength.

Alpha masculinity is attractive to women, but it should not come across as being a jerk.

Men should be willing to walk away from a relationship if it becomes unhealthy.

Having a greater purpose or passion in life that is bigger than the relationship is crucial.

Loyalty should be earned over time through effort and proof, not given automatically.

The Wake Up to Love program can help men develop these attractive traits.

Transcripts

Hey guys, what do women really want in a man?

Not what do we tell you we want

what do we think we want,

but what do we actually respond to?

What is it that turns us on?

What is attractive to us?

Well, in this video I’m going to give you 12 traits

that any man can develop

all the hypergamy type things that women want

but here are the underlying root traits

that women actually look for

that shows up in things like money, success,

and all that stuff that you probably think.

That's what you probably wrote in the comments

before even watching the video.

She wants money, she wants a big ***

bank account, etc, etc.

Well, some of that stuff

you can work on and some of it can't.

So, let's focus on what you can work on

that women do find attractive.

Number one, she wants a man

who can stand up to her.

I think it's Robert Glover he's an author

I may be misquoting I don't know

if it's him or somebody else that said

if you can't stand up to a woman

you can't stand up for a woman.

So, you have to be able to stand up to her

so she can trust that you can stand up for her.

I'm going to go through feminism

and work and women in another video,

but for now just keep that

in the back of your psyche.

Number two, along those lines

is a man who can actually say no to her.

So, I did another video recently

and you probably want to check that out

but this is really important.

Because a man who can say no

is not going to be a Mr. Nice guy

who's passively aggressively

manipulating her by being nice

and agreeing with her to try

and get what he wants.

If you can say no to a woman

then she will trust

that your yeses are authentic.

Three, authentic.

So, three is being authentic

being sincere this means

that sometimes you'll agree

and sometimes you won't agree with her

so she can actually trust that

what you're telling her is true.

What does a woman need to feel safe?

she needs to be able to feel safe emotionally,

which means she needs to be able

to trust your words and actions.

Four is congruent.

So, not to be confused with consistent

so consistency she wants some consistency

in terms of emotional maturity

but she also wants some

spontaneity in terms of action

and activities in the relationship.

But what I mean by congruency is that

what you speak of,

what you say matches up with your actions.

So, if you say that you just want to go out

and spend a night with the guys

but you stay home with her

because she was all cranky about that.

That's incongruent you want to do something

but you're folding like a paper napkin

because it upset her a little bit, not cool.

And as well if you say certain things

but then act in ways that disprove those words

then again she can't trust you.

She can't trust you

that you're strong enough within yourself

to know that you can accept, handle,

and deal with the consequences

of your commitments,

your commitments to yourself.

Which brings us to number five,

you are secure within yourself

and don't need to

compromise yourself to please her.

Now, this doesn't mean that you never please her

of course, you do especially in the bedroom.

But you need to be able to say no again

and not adjust your standards

of who you are just because she might be

asking for something.

Often times it's a shit test anyway.

So, if you're not sure about that

then watch my playlist on said topic

basically you don't apologize for who you are.

Number six, again, along the same lines

is that you ask for what you want

you don't make demands necessarily

if it goes against her beliefs or value systems.

But you don't compromise your own standards

or your own value system.

So, if there's a disagreement

or if there's some area of conflict

you're not going to fold

just because you want to please her.

If it's something that important to you,

you'll stand firm even if it means losing her.

She needs you to be her rock, her rock.

Along those lines is number seven

is that she needs you to be able

to lead the relationship

and part of that includes making decisions.

So, you're not always going to make decisions

that she's happy with

you may have to actually make compromises

that's what happens in relationships

even in the courting stage.

But she needs to know that

you can lead the relationship.

She doesn't necessarily

want to be completely submissive

actually most women nowadays

will bark at that word.

But she needs you to lead

and she needs to trust

that you can lead in a way

that makes her feel safe.

She doesn't want to be your mommy.

Eight, women need a man

who will ask for clarification

and not make assumptions.

Who are notorious for making assumptions

and mind reading?

Women are bad but true.

So, don't be a woman

oh! I’m going to get in trouble for that one.

Politically incorrect don't make assumptions

ask clarify and then go from there.

Don't be a mind reader that's not

that's just being weak and passive

and sometimes passive aggressive.

Nine, women want and need a man

who has their own opinions

and doesn't always agree with them.

So, again if you can trust

that you don't have to always agree

then she can trust that

what you're saying is true and real.

Even if...

And especially if what you're saying

is something she's not going to like

because you're going to have to deal with

her not liking that and whatever reaction

that creates in her.

Hopefully she'll be mature about it

but if she's not then you're going to deal with that.

Okay, next one, this one's a biggie actually

and even though you know

it's not romantic to think

that this isn't true it actually is.

Women respond best,

want men who don't need them.

So, you want her you desire her

but you don't need her

your life is going to be just fine without her.

If you can do this if you can feel this

where you know that

she's a benefit in your world

but she's not a necessity.

She'll feel this from you

and she'll trust that you're there

because you want to be.

Not because you need to be,

not because you don't have better options,

not because you just can't

do it without her or any woman.

You're not weak and needy.

So, women need men

with this kind of strength,

which brings me to the next one,

which is alpha masculinity.

And I've done a video

I think I've done a video on alpha masculinity

how to be vulnerable while

still being alpha and masculine

but essentially

what you need to know about this

is that she wants you to be strong.

She wants you to be a man,

she wants you to be a leader,

she wants you to be alpha,

she doesn't want you to be an a hole.

So, unless she is emotionally damaged

that's the only

those are the only category of women

who are going out with

the real bad boys players and jerks.

They're not worth getting

because they're just going to be high maintenance

and if you're even decent to them

they're going to ditch you

because their...

What's... Their equilibrium is chaos.

they can't be with someone

who is actually good to them or for them.

So, if you need to be a

complete jerk to be with a girl

then she's probably

not going to be a keeper.

Watch my video on if she's a keeper.

But here's the thing

before I go to the next traits.

A lot of nice guys, watch my video on nice guys

think that they have to be a jerk

or they have to be a player or a bad boy.

Because women do respond to the qualities

in bad boys and players and jerks

not all the qualities

but the qualities that are on this list.

If you go back to the beginning

and listen to this list again

then those people bad boys, players, jerks

will also have all of these qualities.

But the intention behind them

isn't about self-security

it's about selfishness.

So, players, jerks, and bad boys are selfish

whereas, a solid

good-hearted strong alpha man

just is secure within himself

he doesn't need to be a jerk

to be able to display all of these qualities.

Okay, let's get through the rest of the qualities

don't ditch on me now.

Which brings me to,

which I kind of already mentioned

always be willing to walk away.

She needs to know that you're there

because you want to be, not because you need to be,

not because you need her

but because you value her

and she brings value to the table.

So, if she knows and you know within yourself

you don't even have to express it

especially if you display these other traits.

That if you know that you're always

willing to walk away from the deal

if the deal starts to be become a crappy deal

she will feel that.

And she will never test you much

once she knows that for sure

once you've put her in her place

when she needs to be put in her place

for any test she does provide.

Then she wont be constantly wondering

and testing you to see

if you've got that strength.

Because she'll know deep inside

that if she really screws up

you're going to walk

that's it no questions asked.

Which brings me to

the essence of how to do that

is by having a greater purpose

and or passion in your life

that is bigger than her

or even the relationship.

So, a man needs to have a purpose

if you don't have a purpose in life

then you're going to feel like you're lost,

floundering.

And you're going to make a woman your purpose

and that's not good

because that's when you get

dangerously close to being needy

and putting her on a pedestal.

And if you put her on a pedestal

she will look down on you.

So, you need to be able to find your purpose

and of course a great way

to develop all of these traits

is of course by taking my wake up to love program.

Because even though these things

are innately within you

life has given you experiences

that may have maybe shaken

your foundation a little.

And you may not have all of these qualities.

So, if you don't have all of these qualities

and you want to up your game for yourself

if not for her mostly for yourself

then you should look into

my wake up to love program.

And if there's any guys here

who've actually taken it please do

you know, write a positive comment

I guess you could write a negative comment

but if you found value

make a comment, thank you.

So, your purpose in life

might be just self-development

it might be family

like if you do have a family

well, that's bigger than just her.

It could be saving the world

it could be your you know,

business that you're developing

whatever it is it needs to be something

that makes something in your life more important

than just her and the relationship.

That's not to say that the relationship

and the woman of your dreams

or if you're in a relationship

that she's not a priority.

But that actually comes with time, effort,

consistency, loyalty basically proofs.

So, you're not going to give a woman

your complete loyalty at the very beginning

when you're just courting or dating

like she's got to earn that.

Don't let her tell you that

she should just get it automatically

that comes with effort and proof.

So, which of these qualities

do you need to work on?

Write in the comments below.

Subscribe, I'll see you next time bye.

(Music)