Stop delaying yourself
Summary
TLDRThe video script emphasizes the importance of self-relationship over external relationships for true happiness and fulfillment. It discusses the common misconception that happiness comes from finding someone else to complete us, rather than building a strong connection with oneself. The speaker shares their journey of self-discovery, acknowledging the challenges of self-awareness and the process of unlearning negative self-perceptions. They advocate for the belief that we are not static beings and can evolve daily, encouraging viewers to embrace change and self-acceptance, regardless of their current state or progress in life.
Takeaways
- 💭 The most important relationship is the one with oneself, as it's often neglected in favor of seeking external relationships for happiness and completeness.
- 🔍 Many people feel lost and purposeless because they have not built a strong internal relationship and have focused on external validation instead.
- 🤔 Having a relationship with oneself involves understanding what makes you happy and spending time nurturing that, which is a personal journey of self-discovery.
- 🧘♂️ Loneliness can be less painful when you have a strong connection with your true self, as it provides a sense of self-assurance even when physically alone.
- 💔 The feeling of being unfulfilled in relationships often stems from trying to fill a void within oneself with external sources, which is not a sustainable solution.
- 🗣️ Negative self-talk can become ingrained in one's self-perception, but it's important to recognize that the self is not static and can change and evolve.
- 🌟 We are all reflections of ourselves, and the traits we dislike in others are often aspects we need to address within ourselves.
- 🛠️ Personal growth requires space and kindness towards oneself, acknowledging that change is a gradual and sometimes painful process.
- 🏆 The belief that one must achieve certain things to be valued or loved is a self-imposed limitation that can hinder self-acceptance and growth.
- 🔄 The idea of needing to be a certain way to be respected or loved is toxic and can be unlearned by understanding that self-worth is inherent, not conditional.
- 💡 Becoming self-aware can sometimes lead to overanalysis and paralysis, but it's crucial for understanding one's programming and making conscious choices for self-improvement.
Q & A
What is the main idea discussed in the video script?
-The main idea is the importance of having a strong relationship with oneself as a key to happiness and fulfillment, rather than seeking it through others.
Why does the speaker believe that many people feel alone and lost?
-The speaker believes people feel alone and lost because they neglect building a strong relationship with themselves and instead seek external relationships to find meaning and completeness.
What does the speaker suggest is a common misconception about relationships and happiness?
-The common misconception is that happiness and completeness can only be found through relationships with others, rather than within oneself.
What does the speaker mean by 'relationship with yourself'?
-The 'relationship with yourself' refers to understanding, accepting, and spending time on oneself, including doing things that make one happy and acknowledging one's own needs and desires.
Why does the speaker think many people feel unfulfilled in their relationships?
-The speaker thinks people feel unfulfilled because they are looking for someone else to fill a void within themselves, rather than addressing and understanding their own needs and desires.
What does the speaker suggest is a reason for people's self-neglect?
-The speaker suggests that people self-neglect because they are constantly chasing and forcing relationships with others, which distracts them from focusing on their own personal growth and understanding.
How does the speaker describe the process of self-discovery and change?
-The speaker describes it as a journey of self-acceptance, understanding, and development, which involves acknowledging one's negative self-perceptions and working towards a more positive and fulfilling self-image.
What does the speaker believe about the nature of the self?
-The speaker believes that the self is not stagnant but is constantly evolving and changing, and that it's important to give oneself the space and kindness to grow and change.
Why does the speaker think it's important to challenge negative self-perceptions?
-The speaker thinks it's important because negative self-perceptions can become ingrained and limit one's ability to see oneself accurately and to grow and change.
What does the speaker suggest is a way to overcome the feeling of loneliness?
-The speaker suggests that by getting in touch with one's true self and understanding oneself more deeply, the feeling of loneliness can be reduced, even when physically alone.
What advice does the speaker give for those who are tired of running from themselves?
-The speaker advises that they are ready to face themselves, understand their true desires and needs, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance.
Outlines
💭 Self-Relationship and Inner Fulfillment
The speaker emphasizes the importance of having a strong relationship with oneself, suggesting that many people mistakenly believe they need others to feel complete and find happiness. They argue that neglecting self-growth and self-understanding leads to a sense of purposelessness and loneliness. The speaker shares their journey towards self-awareness, explaining how understanding and accepting oneself can alleviate feelings of loneliness, even when physically alone. They also touch on the idea that negative self-perceptions can be challenged and changed, advocating for self-compassion and the recognition that the self is not static but constantly evolving.
🔄 Reflections of Self and Personal Evolution
This paragraph delves into the concept that we often see our own undesirable traits reflected in others, which can be a prompt for self-reflection and change. The speaker acknowledges that personal growth can be a challenging and painful process, but it is essential for evolution. They discuss societal pressures and internalized beliefs that can lead to self-deprecation and a pessimistic outlook, suggesting that recognizing these patterns is the first step towards change. The speaker also addresses the idea that external validation is often sought instead of internal acceptance, and the importance of self-acceptance during the process of change, regardless of one's current stage in life.
🚶♂️ Breaking Free from Self-Imposed Limitations
The final paragraph discusses the realization that much of our identity and behavior is a result of external influences and subconscious choices. The speaker reflects on their past experiences with seeking validation and connection from others, and the subsequent feelings of rejection and unworthiness. They share their process of unlearning these patterns and embracing the idea that they are not confined to their past identities. The speaker concludes by asserting that each day offers a fresh start, free from the constraints of previous actions or self-perceptions, encouraging the audience to face themselves without fear and to embrace the journey of self-discovery.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-relationship
💡Happiness
💡Completeness
💡Self-neglect
💡Self-awareness
💡Loneliness
💡Self-acceptance
💡Personal growth
💡Self-reflection
💡Self-identity
💡Change
Highlights
The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Many people believe happiness and completeness come from relationships with others.
The misconception that being alone is damaging due to the constant search for external fulfillment.
The importance of building a strong relationship with oneself instead of neglecting self for others.
The concept of 'relationship with yourself' includes understanding personal happiness and self-worth.
The speaker's journey towards understanding what it means to have a relationship with oneself.
Feeling less lonely by understanding and connecting with one's true self.
The realization that negative self-perception can become ingrained and affect identity.
The self is not stagnant; it evolves, and we are capable of change and growth.
The idea that we often see our dislikes in others as a reflection of our own traits.
Acknowledging the ability to change and the importance of self-compassion during the process.
The societal pressure to conform to certain standards for acceptance and value.
The challenge of self-awareness and the potential trap of overanalyzing one's actions.
The discomfort of realizing that we are often the ones holding ourselves back.
The empowerment in understanding that we can choose to be a different person each day.
The struggle of unlearning ingrained beliefs about self-worth and the journey of self-acceptance.
The encouragement to face oneself and embrace the journey of self-discovery.
Transcripts
the most important relationship you're
ever going to have in your life is the
relationship you have with yourself I
feel
like a lot of us believe that you know
that in order to find happiness in order
to you know be
complete that you need to find a
relationship with someone else you know
to complete
you and I think that's a big reason why
a lot of us in this
generation kind of feel like
you know being
alone
is so damaging and being alone is so
painful because we're constantly looking
for someone else to come into our lives
and complete us and make our lives worth
living and make life just feel like it
has some meaning but I feel like this is
where a lot of us go
wrong we neglect ourselves and
Chase relationships with others
we almost try and force these
relationships with others whether
they're romantic relationships platonic
relationship
friendships and we neglect building a
strong relationship with
ourselves and I think this is why so
many people now feel
lost feel like their life has no meaning
their life is
purposeless because they've neglected
the self they've neglected
the most important relationship which is
your relationship with
yourself and when I say relationship
with yourself what does that mean to
you does a relationship with yourself
mean you know how much money you spend
on
yourself or how much time you spend with
yourself or just spending time doing
things that make you
happy and I think this is a question
where you really need to ask
ourselves what does it mean to know
yourself what does it mean to have a
good relationship with yourself I think
this is something I'm working towards
understanding
more cuz for a long time I didn't really
know what it meant to have a
relationship with yourself
because the self was something I was
unfamiliar with I didn't really
acknowledge that you know I was here if
that makes sense I feel like I was just
perceiving life walking around the world
not
really understanding what was going
on and feeling
alone not just alone but
lonely but the more that I've come in
touch with myself with my true
self and really spent some time deling
into myself and trying to understand
myself more the less lonely I feel even
though I am still you know alone
sometimes it's not painful it's not
as you know gut-wrenching as it used to
be cuz I know that I am always
here and I think a big reason why a lot
of us don't
feel very fulfilled in our relationships
is cuz we're looking for again someone
to feel this void in us feel the void
that we have maybe
to you know take certain boxes that we
feel like we should be taking or maybe
just to distract us from
ourselves and I feel like you need a
distraction from yourself when you don't
actually know
yourself cuz people think they know
theel just because they have these
thoughts you know maybe these negative
thoughts that tell them about who they
believe they are maybe you tell yourself
that you know no one cares about
you maybe you tell yourself that you're
stupid that you know you can't do X you
can't do y and when you say yourself
these things about yourself enough times
they start to become you know almost
ingrained in how you perceive
yourself but for me I've started to
realize that just because I've told
myself I am
something it doesn't mean that it's true
because I don't believe the self is
something that is stagnant it's not
something that you know stays the same
throughout time it's something that I
feel like we're almost new people each
day but because this reality is you know
quite you know confusing we often just
sit back and default back to our comfort
zone and for a lot of us this comfort
zone of self is
negativity this comfort zone of how you
see yourself is being pessimistic
expecting the
worst and then you know not being
surprised when the worst does happen cuz
you're like well that is supposed to
happen cuz that is how who I am I'm
someone you know bad things just
happened to me whatever it is I think we
all know someone who's like that and the
reason you probably dislike that kind of
person is because they remind you of
something
that's in
you I think that's something also I've
really started to realize recently that
we are all just
reflections of
ourselves that all the things you see
about other people that you don't
like they are reflections of yourself
I've started to notice that even the
traits that I disliking others like
maybe people who for example like always
late and then I discover oh wait a
minute I'm late quite often as well
or someone who's self
deprecating I'm like oh I hate when
people do that so cringe and I'm I
realized in my thoughts I'm often
deprecating myself as well and I think
it's important to acknowledge
that you know as humans we are able to
change and we are able to evolve
and I don't think you're able to do that
unless you give yourself space to change
and the kindness to allow yourself to
change cuz the process of changing is
never something that is you know quick
and easy there's always going to be
growing pains there's always going to be
that period of time where you're in
between
identities where you're not who you used
to be but you're not quite who you want
to be and even that idea in itself is
toxic because who tolds you that you
have to be X or Y to be
valued or you have to be X or Y to be
you know someone who deserves to you
know be loved but these are things that
we tell
ourselves if not you know verbally then
it's psychologically or we kind
of you know paint the world on that
perspective of how we see people who
haven't achieved X or Y as being less
valuable and people that have achieved X
or Y is being more valuable but when you
when you're not secure with yourself
it's very easy for you for you to put
yourself into these categories okay
because I haven't done this I don't
deserve to be respected because I
haven't done that I don't deserve to be
loved sorry if if you can hear the
blender right now that's my brother
making this movie but yeah the idea
of looking for fulfillment
and looking outside of yourself to be
completed is something that I feel is
kind of taught to us as well isn't
it we're kind of told whether it's
through the school system where you know
you're told that if you're a good boy or
a good girl then you know you deserve
the good things to happen to you and you
know that goodness is basically just
following the rules that they give you
and kind of just being
compliant or whether it's through your
like relationships with your family to
your parents
where obviously they treat you you're
treated differently based on how happy
your your um parents are with you based
on you know whatever parameters they
give you and you're kind of taught
basically therefore to look for
fulfillment sorry not fulfillment look
look for acceptance from others instead
of looking internally for that
acceptance being able to accept yourself
regardless of whether you're doing you
know the right thing right now or the
wrong thing right now and to still
understand that you deserve to be seen
accepted and understood throughout the
process of change whether you're just at
the start of your journey if you haven't
even started your journey yet or if
you're four or five years into this
journey of know self absolution self
development self- understanding and I
feel like it's very hard
for people like myself and probably like
you who are you know becoming more
self-aware to not overanalyze everything
that they do cuz it's it's like I'm very
conscious of the things I do now a lot
more than I used to and I think it's
become a trap sometimes
because you can get in the Trap of being
almost too
self-aware where it kind of stops you
from wanting to do
things because you just can
almost I don't know over understand why
you do everything if that makes
sense
like you get to the point
where you understand your um your
program your your programming almost
like you start to understand how things
have affected you to the point where you
understand exactly why you believe
certain things exactly why you feel
certain things exactly why you react in
certain ways and then once you
understand this it's like okay who am I
then cuz you started to identify with
all these parts of you that you thought
with yourself but now that you've
understood why you have these parts of
you in the first place it's like okay is
that really who I am or is that just who
I've been told to be is that just who
I've been molded and sculpted into
being and I think the closer I've got to
getting in touch with you know who I
truly want to be what things I truly
care about
the more levelheaded I've become the
less erratic I've
become and all together just the most
the more fulfilled I've become I feel
like I've been someone who has had
experiences with just like chasing
people
who didn't really want anything to do
with me or didn't really care about me
as much as I cared about them and I
would internalize that as meaning that
you know people didn't care about me in
general or maybe I I shouldn't be cared
about
and that's something I've had to unlearn
and it's not easy because it's something
that's been ingrained in mind
identity but again it is I have also
understood that that was a choice that I
was making even though I was making it
subconsciously I was choosing to stick
to that identity instead of realizing
that I don't have to be stuck to
anything there are there are very few
like universally true rules of
life but one of these rules that I
firmly believe in is that you can be who
you want to be each day you wake up you
don't have to be the same person you
were yesterday cuz the only person
that's holding you to that same standard
of who you are yesterday is
yourself and that's a uncomfortable
truth I've had to come to terms with
that for a long time I was choosing to
do the like the wrong thing I was
choosing to be lazy I was choosing to be
a victim I was choosing
to avoid
myself and it didn't get me anywhere of
course it allowed me to distract myself
from myself for a while but eventually
you get to the point where you you're
tired of
running and if you're still watching
this video you're probably tired of
running too you're you're ready to face
yourself and you're ready to see where
that takes
you okay it was good talk talk to you
today hope you've found this valuable or
just found this interesting to hear or
maybe you can even relate to this that
would be
cool um yeah always appreciate you
lending me your
ear and hopefully we'll speak again
soon so
yeah I Easter
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