how to stop PEOPLE PLEASING | signs, causes and solutions to take back your power
Summary
TLDRThis video script delves into the complexities of people-pleasing, a behavior often rooted in childhood and external validation. It outlines the emotional toll of prioritizing others' needs over one's own and offers a three-chapter guide to overcoming this tendency. The first chapter explores the causes, while the second provides practical methods to stop people-pleasing. The final chapter introduces a dialogue guide for assertive communication. The script emphasizes self-reflection, authenticity, and self-love as keys to breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing and living a more fulfilling life.
Takeaways
- 😌 People pleasing is a hard habit to break because it's often tied to pride and a sense of being a 'nice person', but it can be detrimental to one's own needs and self-worth.
- 🔍 People pleasing is rooted in seeking external validation and controlling others' perceptions, which can stem from childhood conditioning and upbringing.
- 📚 The video will cover the causes of people pleasing in chapter one, offering insight into why individuals develop this tendency.
- 🛑 Chapter two provides methods to stop people pleasing, including not anticipating others' reactions and focusing on self-love and authenticity.
- 🚫 It's crucial to stop trying to control others' reactions and to understand that their perceptions are their own and not a reflection of your worth.
- 💡 Developing one's authentic personality involves removing societal layers and discovering who you truly are, especially in moments of solitude and without judgment.
- 💪 Building self-awareness and a strong sense of self can lead to better boundary setting and confidence in expressing one's needs and values.
- 🤗 Practicing exposure therapy for mediocre interactions means learning to say no and not feeling guilty for prioritizing one's own well-being.
- 🙌 Self-love is a significant aspect of overcoming people pleasing; it's important to make decisions that contribute to personal joy and experiences.
- 🌟 Compassion for oneself is vital during the process of change; it's important to recognize that people pleasing habits are not inherently your fault and to approach change with kindness.
- 🗣️ Chapter three offers a dialogue guide for assertive communication, illustrating the difference between being a people pleaser and being assertive and confident without being unkind.
Q & A
Why is people pleasing considered hard to quit?
-People pleasing is hard to quit because it is often rooted in external validation and the desire to control others' perceptions. It can also be a conditioned behavior from upbringing, making it a normalized lifestyle and even a survival mechanism.
What are some of the negative consequences of being a people pleaser?
-Negative consequences include neglecting one's own needs, potential burnout, resentment, and a lack of authenticity in life. It can also lead to a lack of personal growth and the inability to form genuine relationships.
How does childhood upbringing play a role in the development of people pleasing tendencies?
-Childhood upbringing can instill people pleasing tendencies through conditioning behaviors that associate being good with receiving love, affection, or approval. This can lead to a lifelong pattern of prioritizing others' needs over one's own.
What is the relationship between people pleasing and external validation?
-People pleasing is often rooted in the need for external validation. The praise and positive responses from others for being accommodating can reinforce the behavior, making it addictive and difficult to break.
Why might someone not realize they are a people pleaser?
-A person might not realize they are a people pleaser because it is often a subconscious behavior that has been normalized due to upbringing or societal conditioning.
What methods are suggested in the script to stop people pleasing?
-The script suggests methods such as not anticipating others' reactions, realizing that validation should come from within, developing an authentic personality, practicing exposure therapy toward mediocre interactions, and practicing self-love.
How can understanding the root cause of people pleasing help in overcoming it?
-Understanding the root cause allows individuals to address the core issue directly, whether it be childhood conditioning, past relationships, or personal insecurities. This self-awareness is crucial for making meaningful changes.
What is the importance of self-reflection in the process of overcoming people pleasing tendencies?
-Self-reflection is important as it helps individuals to identify their personal reasons for people pleasing, understand their fears, and recognize the consequences of not being authentic.
How can practicing exposure therapy toward mediocre interactions help in breaking the habit of people pleasing?
-Practicing exposure therapy involves facing situations that trigger the people pleasing behavior and responding authentically rather than accommodatingly. This helps to build confidence and break the cycle of prioritizing others' needs over one's own.
What is the significance of self-love in the journey to stop people pleasing?
-Self-love is significant because it involves prioritizing one's own needs and desires, which is the opposite of people pleasing. It is a crucial component in building a healthier self-image and establishing boundaries.
How does the script differentiate between assertiveness and unkindness?
-The script emphasizes that being assertive and confident does not equate to being unkind. It is about expressing one's needs and feelings honestly and respectfully, without infringing on the rights or feelings of others.
What is the ultimate goal of the dialogue guide provided in the script?
-The ultimate goal of the dialogue guide is to transform people pleasing behaviors into assertive and confident communication, while maintaining kindness and respect in interactions.
Outlines
🌟 The Struggle of Overcoming People Pleaser Mentality
The paragraph delves into the complexities of being a people pleaser, a trait often rooted in external validation and a desire to control others' perceptions. It suggests that this behavior is not only self-neglectful but also a conditioned lifestyle from upbringing. The speaker promises to explore the causes and solutions to this issue in the first chapter, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's roots to break free from people-pleasing tendencies and achieve personal freedom.
🏠 The Origins of People Pleasing in Childhood
This paragraph discusses the childhood origins of people pleasing, suggesting that it often stems from upbringing where behaviors were conditioned based on parental approval. It describes how a lack of unconditional love and care during formative years can lead to an ingrained need to earn affection and validation through compliance. The speaker also touches on the long-term effects of this upbringing, including a lack of ability to assert oneself and an ingrained anxiety about others' opinions.
🔄 Breaking the Cycle of People Pleasing
The paragraph outlines strategies to break the cycle of people pleasing. It emphasizes the importance of not anticipating others' reactions and understanding that one cannot control others' perceptions. It also highlights the need for self-reflection to uncover personal reasons behind people pleasing tendencies. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace authenticity and self-love as part of the journey towards personal growth and freedom from people pleasing.
🚫 Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Assertion
This paragraph focuses on the importance of setting boundaries and practicing self-assertion to overcome people pleasing. It advises against trying to control others' reactions and instead encourages expressing one's own needs and emotions authentically. The speaker also discusses the need for exposure therapy towards mediocre interactions, suggesting that it's not one's responsibility to entertain or solve others' problems, and the importance of self-love in building a life that brings personal joy.
💪 Transforming from People Pleaser to Assertive Individual
The final paragraph provides a dialogue guide for people pleasers looking to become more assertive and confident. It illustrates the difference between two characters, Lola and Athena, who approach their people-pleasing tendencies differently. Athena actively works on change, while Lola remains stuck in her old habits. The speaker emphasizes that being assertive does not equate to being unkind and that every act of self-assertion builds confidence, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡People Pleasing
💡External Validation
💡Authenticity
💡Burnout
💡Assertiveness
💡Self-Love
💡Boundaries
💡Self-Reflection
💡Emotional Expression
💡Compassion
💡Dialogue Guide
Highlights
People pleasing is rooted in external validation and controlling others' perceptions, often leading to self-neglect.
People pleasers often lack self-awareness due to its normalization as a lifestyle and survival mechanism.
Understanding the causes of people pleasing is essential for overcoming it and prioritizing self-care.
Childhood upbringing plays a significant role in the development of people pleasing behaviors.
People pleasers may have been conditioned to associate good behavior with receiving love and affection.
Anxiety can be ingrained in people pleasers from childhood due to the need to predict and control others' reactions.
People pleasing is addictive due to the positive reinforcement it receives from others.
Self-reflection is crucial to identify personal reasons behind people pleasing tendencies.
Overcoming people pleasing involves learning to stop anticipating or concerning oneself with others' reactions.
Personal validation should come from within rather than being dependent on others' opinions.
Developing an authentic personality involves uncovering and embracing one's true self beyond societal expectations.
Establishing strong boundaries is easier with a clear sense of self and core values.
Exposure therapy for mediocre interactions can help break the cycle of people pleasing.
Self-love is integral to overcoming people pleasing; it involves standing in one's power and expressing emotions authentically.
Compassion for oneself is vital during the process of unlearning people pleasing habits.
Assertiveness and confidence can be developed through practicing small acts of self-assertion.
Being assertive and confident does not equate to being unkind; it's about respecting oneself and others.
The dialogue guide provided illustrates how to transform from a people pleaser to an assertive individual while maintaining kindness.
Transcripts
people pleasing is hard to quit because
you take pride in it and not only you
everyone does it it's like I'm such a
nice person I do everything for everyone
I'm so reliable I just give out my time
and effort so freely no one else does
that sounds like a great person right
well of course to everybody else because
you're constantly putting their needs
above yours but when it comes to
yourself you're not a very nice person
at all and that's the thing people
pleasing is rooted in external
validation and trying to control other
people's perceptions of you and the
worst part about this entire thing is
that if you are a people pleaser you
don't even know it and that's because a
lot of the time people pleasing is
caused by the way we were raised what
behaviors were conditioned in us on what
was considered good versus bad and so
people pleasing becomes a very
normalized lifestyle and even a survival
mechanism for so many people and I'll
explain this more in chapter 1 when I
discuss the science and the reasoning
behind why we become people Pleasers in
the first place what are the causes of
them because it's only when you
understand that that you'll finally be
able to work back from it and get rid of
your people pleasing Tendencies to
finally gain freedom and put yourself
first and speaking of the chapter
breakdown for this video the first
chapter will discuss that the second
chapter will discuss how to actually
stop people pleasing all of the methods
and lifestyle changes involved in
achieving this and then finally we have
chapter number three which will give you
a step-by-step breakdown of how to
transform your behavioral patterns away
from people pleas are to assertive
confident girl I spent years as a
teenager as a people pleaser putting
other people in front of me first
wanting to to be liked trying to guess
how somebody would react to me trying to
make sure that I was this perfect person
that couldn't be disliked by anybody and
once I finally did the inner work which
is what you're going to learn in this
video I finally became that bad
that was so unfaced by anybody's
reactions to her authenticity that I
finally became so happy and content in
my own life burnout was gone resentment
was gone and I also gained a close knit
of friends that actually love and
appreciate me for who I am so that I can
live my life on my own terms before we
get into the video make sure to check
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domain chapter one the causes of people
pleasing and the first cause of course
is childhood this innate desire to
prioritize other people's joy happiness
and needs before your own often stems
from your own upbringing chances are you
could have had controlling parents or
just parents that weren't able to give
you the time affection care or emotional
support that you needed or you had
parents that conditioned you to
associate being good or getting things
done with encouragement love or time and
affection basically you didn't get the
bare minimum requirements of love and
care from your parents unless you did
something first to earn it or you
behaved in the right way and this
basically taught you as you're growing
up into a person that you have to do
things in order to earn love and
affection by being overly compliant and
agreeable and playing Life by everybody
else's rules that's the only way that
you're going to get through and what I
just described is a form of parent
pleasing which as we grow up turns into
General people pleasing whatever way you
were raised deem what you think is
acceptable behavior in adult life and as
you grow up so when you were growing up
and you were conditioned to act in a way
to be able to avoid punishments or just
be able to earn some time and affection
no wonder you people please today
because you were never taught that
disappointing or letting down others is
actually just a super normal and
acceptable part of life and being with
others and then the effect of having
this type of childhood means that when
you grow up and you're in a situation
where you don't like what's going on or
it's not making you happy you don't have
the strength or even the ability to be
able to say no in that situation stand
up for yourself or fight the battle that
you need to because you've had no life
practice in doing so so actually how are
you even supposed to this isn't your
fault you've literally been taught how
to live and you haven't been provided
with the tools that you need to to not
be a people pleaser on top of that a
little bit of anxiety will be ingrained
in you as you're growing up because you
are constantly trying to predict
people's opinions of you their behavior
their next move their reaction from your
behavior because that's how you had to
live as a child to make sure your home
or your relationship with your parents
was a safe and happy place for you this
leads me onto my next point which is the
addiction of it all we all know that
people pleasing is wrong it's probably
why you searched up how to stop people
pleasing today and started watching this
video right we know it's not something
that serves us or is going to get us to
a good place in our life so why can't we
stop it the reason people pleasing is so
addictive and hard to break out of is
because it has been used to bolster up
your confidence for such a long amount
of time because although people pleasing
is bad for you it elicits such a
positive response in everybody else when
all you hear on a daily basis is you're
the nicest person I've ever met you're
so loyal I can always count on you oh my
God no one else does these favors for me
you're so nice I can't believe it you
are practically fooled into thinking you
are the perfect human being ever because
you're doing everything for everybody
else and putting yourself in last place
so when you're receiving all of this
praise all its validation everybody
likes you what is really motivating you
to break out of that that's what keeps
it such an ADD Ive cycle but lastly
there are truly so many personal reasons
that can cause our people pleasing
Tendencies maybe for you it isn't from
your childhood maybe it's from your
first relationship which really
influenced the kind of person that you
grew up into maybe it's some sort of
abuse that you encountered whether it be
with a friend with a partner with a
family member maybe it's low self-esteem
or this fear of rejection and so before
we move on to the next chapters in this
video I really want you to pause and
make sure that you're making time for
self-reflection to discover what your
personal reasons are ask yourself why
does this come from what am I afraid of
will happen if I be authentic or fight
back in the situation or get rid of my
need or concern to be nice what do I
think will be the consequence of not
doing that do I have a need to be
accepted by others am I trying to mirror
other people's behaviors so that I'll be
liked why is that do I feel like I like
friendship do I feel like I am a bad
person inherently and that people won't
like me if I'm just myself do I feel
like I am here to entertain people and
that is what my value is do I have a
fear of rejection do I seek out
validation because otherwise I don't
feel good about myself on a daily basis
you really need to find out what your
personal root cause is so that you can
get to the root of the issue and really
help yourself and I know some of those
questions sound a little bit ugly and a
little bit icky like no one wants to say
I have a fear of rejection and I really
need validation from other people so
that I feel better about myself for this
day but honestly this process along with
any other form of inner work or healing
requires a little bit of ugliness a
little bit of ickiness to really take a
look inwards and admit I do this thing
that's not good for me and I've been
doing it for a very long time and a lot
of the time it's not your fault okay a
lot of the time it's a habit we've been
stuck into or we've been taught so
really be compassionate with yourself
through this and although it's not going
to feel nice in the moment and it's
going to make your ego take a little bit
of a hit remember it's going to be the
thing this realization that's going to
get you to the other side where you are
no longer ever in your life again going
to have to Google the question how do I
stop people pleasing and this leads us
to chapter number two methods to stop
people pleasing step number one stop
anticipating or even concerning yourself
with other people's reaction the thing
that makes us stuck in this people
pleasing cycle is thinking well if I say
this they're going to be upset or they
might not want to be my friend or it's
going to make them uncomfortable if I
say no or they really really need me so
how can I let them doubt no none of your
concern literally none of your concern
assuming somebody else's reaction before
it even happens is a complete waste of
your time and also your very precious
energy because now you're having to
stress about something twice because
you're doing it before the thing has
even happened two you can't control how
other people react or perceive or
respond to your actions that is entirely
their right you have to let them do that
three it's lowkey highkey manipulative
to try and assume what somebody's
reaction is going to be and thus alter
what your behavior is going to be to be
able to control what the outcome of the
situation is going to be like four that
literally takes away from your own
authenticity and joy every single day
because you are in actor mode you are
stressing so much about how to be so
that you can control everybody around
you and the perception of you that's
just not fun for anybody and five
thinking something like well if I say
this and the person might be a bit Moody
with me or not talk to me or be angry at
me good literally good they are
exercising their human right to
experience and display the full range of
human emotions they are allowed to be
angry they are allowed to be
disappointed you have to let them do
that just like you have to let yourself
experience your full range of emotions
and actually Express them rather than
hiding and suppressing them and then
this person not fully understanding you
or your needs two your validation does
not come from other people I've said it
once and I'll say it again no one can
have a valid opinion of you because no
one is you every perception somebody
else has of you is based off of their
own projections life beliefs traumas
opinions life experiences Etc and so the
only valid opinion there will ever be of
you is from you and therefore the way
that you live in your behavior should
match that fact so ask yourself what's
going to make me feel happy what's going
to improve my day how can I advance in
my career what do I feel like I won't
tolerate what is true love made up in my
eyes three get creative and developing
your own authentic personality here's
the thing yes we are kind of born with a
personality and who we are but we have
to be able to unlock that because we
float through life being taught what is
good what is bad what is approved of
what is cringy and so instead we gain
all of these layers of our personality
on top of our true authentic one to be
able to fit in with Society be accepted
not be cast out or rejected that's just
human nature every single person does it
not just you if this is our nature and
how we flip through life how are we even
supposed to know what our personality is
we might know 5% of it that we're
naturally a little bit funny or we're
goofy or we're a bit of a nerd or we
love Academia but there is so much more
to us and you actually have to commit
the time to be able to find out and
uncover what those parts are especially
when no one else is watching that's when
you uncover your authenticity when
you're outside of your comfort zone when
you're in new environments where nobody
knows you and no one's going to perceive
you that you necessarily care about when
you have the entire house to yourself
when you think about your first instinct
of what you want to do before you then
start considering what are people going
to think what if this fails and all of
that other BS we've been conditioned to
think about when you are more aware of
who you are and you have a stronger
sense of self you're going to be so much
more confident in establishing and
setting stronger boundaries because you
know what your core values are what your
beliefs are and what aligns to the type
of person you are when you float through
and you haven't committed that time to
uncovering your real self it's so easy
to go along with what everybody else
wants because you can't actually see how
you're straying from what you need plus
when you're so short of who you are when
you communicate no or when you start
letting people down and they don't want
to be around you anymore and you're
disappointing them you actually also
take confidence in that because you're
like okay this person doesn't align with
who I am good now I'm going to be able
to find the people that do align with my
authentic self once you are so aware of
who you are what you need what your
preferences are you also want to find
people that fit into your circle as well
and letting down people and basing
people away and cutting people out and
them not wanting to be around with you
is the most important factor in that
that's how you make sure that you're not
wasting your time with all of these
people that were never meant to be in
your life in the first place you're
literally saving yourself time method
four you need to start practicing
exposure therapy toward mediocre
interactions because guess what it is
not your responsibility to entertain
others to solve their problems to make
their day to influence their mood that's
the truth of the matter and as soon as
you remember that and solidify that
belief the sooner you're finally going
to be able to experience all of the joy
and freedom that life is waiting to give
to you and so to be able to remember
that fact and actually live by that so
that your behavior aligns with those
core true beliefs you need to do some of
the following when someone asks you to
do something you don't want to do your
response is no I won't be able to do
that without then trying to reschedule
to make a time where you can do it
trying to overcompensate and be like oh
my God I'm so sorry I can't believe that
feeling guilty for the fact you can't do
that or making up excuses and overe
explaining yourself as to why you can't
do the thing just not wanting to do the
thing is absolutely fine in itself the
next time someone screws you over a work
colleague a business partner that's not
picking up the slack or a friend that
did you a little bit dirty you're not
going to make excuses you're not going
to wait till your emotions pass and then
you're just going to carry on as normal
but instead you're going to validate
your unhappy emotions and express them
to help this person understand how they
stressed you out or made you upset so
that then they can fix Behavior
understand you better and to ensure that
you don't have to experience that
stressful situation ever again you just
did your future self a huge favor my
next point is all about self-love every
single action you take on a daily basis
is building the life that you live and
will live an example of this is when
you're in a group setting and everyone's
deciding where to eat and they ask you
where do you want to eat and you're like
oh I don't mind we'll go where you want
to go oh that's a great idea let's just
do that I really don't mind I'll eat
anything that is yet another example of
you not stepping up to create your own
memories your own experiences and
contribute to your own joy that day even
when you were literally handed the
opportunity but because you responded
with people pleasing yet again you're
creating and improving everyone else's
life experiences and memories but yours
people pleasing also is a self-love
issue it's the most self-loving thing to
stand in your power to express your
opinions to express your emotions so
that people understand you and can
actually act accordingly in how you
expect them to and vice vice versa so
that you can build relationships work
through conflict and at the end of the
day I'm the biggest believer that our
number one purpose every single day when
we wake up should be to have a good day
to experience some sort of Joy on this
Earth today whether it be as small as
getting our favorite ice cream flavor
telling people where we actually want to
eat rather than just going along with
their preferences all the time or as big
as cutting somebody off because they're
too toxic in our lives or going after
something that we really really really
really want every single time you choose
to people please instead you are
preventing yourself from experiencing
missing any of that joy that was waiting
for you the entire time it's like a
sliding doors moment a sliding doors
moment links into the movie where every
single decision you make there are two
outcomes that are going to happen and
whichever outcome you're about to
experience is determined by the response
that you give to whatever question you
ask or action you are about to take so
let's say every outcome on this side is
always Joy links to authenticity what
you want to do and every outcome on this
side is the one that you are taking
which links to people pleasing there are
thousands and millions and millions of
outcomes on this side that you've never
even seen because you continue to follow
the same habits the same behavioral
patterns the same answers on this side
and so you keep experiencing the same
life there's a whole other life and a
whole other dimension right here that
you are not letting yourself experience
and that leads me into my last point for
this chapter which is please give
yourself compassion I feel like I was a
little bit brutal there and I did tell
you guys off a little bit but it's tough
love but most importantly while you're
realizing one of these lessons and you
are shifting your behavior and shifting
your mindset you need to remember that
this isn't your fault and people
pleasing is unfair because nobody is
naturally born a people pleaser it's not
an action that you choose to have or a
personality trait that you adopt because
it benefits you because it's never going
to benefit you it's putting everybody
else before you it's something that you
have been taught and conditioned to have
by somebody else in your life or the way
that you've been treated for an extended
period of time so remember this isn't
your fault please don't grow frustrated
with yourself that oh my God I keep
watching all these videos on how to stop
people pleasing and I won't or why do I
keep doing this or I'm so dumb that I
keep putting everyone before me you're
not you're literally not and the version
of you that was taught to put other
people first needs you more than ever
and you need to show up for her by
getting rid of that frustration and
holding her hand through the process and
being gentle and kind and compassionate
and self-loving towards yourself and
showing her a new way to Live While
forgiving her for past mistakes or any
times that she may go back to what is
familiar and comfortable because she's
only lived that way her entire life and
that is understandable and finally
chapter number three the ultimate people
pleaser dialogue guide being assertive
and confident and putting your foot down
doesn't equal being unkind and the
example I'm about to break down in this
chapter will show you exactly that what
to say what behaviors to implement that
actually aren't as scary as you might
think they are in your head and remember
every small Act of self assertion and
confidence and authenticity you display
will slowly act as building blocks to
your confidence which can get all the
way up there so let's really look at the
difference and see how we're going to
transform from being a people pleaser
girl to an assertive bad be who who
always gets her way while still being
kind and of course I'm going to bring
back our favorite girls to illustrate
this example Lola and Athena now these
two girls are in the exact same boat
their entire Liv they've pretty much
been people Pleasers and they're both
desperately trying to break out of that
habit but Lola is really really inclined
to stick with what's familiar and
comfortable to her she is stuck with her
people pleasing Tendencies she doesn't
really know how to break out and so she
just goes with what she knows Athena on
the other hand although she's
experienced the exact same problems she
is like no I'm going to make an active
effort to change the way that I show up
to change the way that I respond because
the more time I practice doing that I'll
build up my confidence and I'll actually
make it a habit to no longer be a people
pleaser anymore so this is how they
would respond in different situations I
know they upset me but if I confront
them they're just going to be upset with
me they might not talk to me or they'll
just be weird to me or even worse
they'll probably start talking about
what I said to other people and I don't
want that if I communicate how this
person has made me feel which is
literally my right like nobody can tell
me I can't be upset stressed out at
something and then they want to react
badly and talk badly about me to other
people one not only does that show me
their true colors which saves me so much
time in entertaining them any longer but
two that's completely on them I can't
control them they are fully in their
right to express whatever emotion or act
in whatever way they want all that
matters is I communicated what I needed
and therefore did a favor to myself and
I did it in a completely polite and
honest way so I'm happy with how I
showed up I know she invited me to go
but honestly I'm just not feeling it I
don't really want to go out out lately
and parties just aren't my vibe but it's
rude if I don't and I really don't want
to hurt her feelings and I also don't
know what excuse I would even use cuz I
don't have anywhere else to go so I
guess I'm just going to have to go thank
you so much for the invite honestly this
week has just really been a lot for me
and I just don't have the energy for a
lot right now so I think I just need to
go home focus on myself get my energy
back up so then I can like study
properly and just be there for others
properly and just get my mind right
again but I hope you have the best time
and obviously I hope I can make it to
the next one but yeah I don't want to
kill the vi anything I just want to make
sure that I'm at 100% And I know that
you'll understand so thank you it's just
my boyfriend rarely spends time with me
and I just feel like I have to plan
everything all of the time and I'm just
getting so annoyed with it why don't I
tell him because he's just not going to
get it and then he's going to think that
I'm unap appreciative and I always
complain and I just don't want to be the
Naggy girlfriend you know I just want to
keep him happy so I really don't know
what to do I just want to sit you down
and tell you that planning everything
all of the time is just getting a lot
for me and I really wish that you would
show up a little bit more in our
relationship and I would love to tell
you some ideas on how you could do this
that would make me happy you're annoyed
that I'm telling you that I'm going to
express something that genuinely upsets
me in this relationship and you can't
sit here communicate with me and help me
work through it then this relationship
is probably not for me I'm so burnt out
right now and I have so much on my plate
and my boss is giving me another task
and I'm just going to have to do it
because I don't want them to think I'm
not a team player or give me a promotion
just sucking up all of this stuff all
the the time just gets a lot and I
literally don't even have time for any
of my own Joy or Hobbies anymore yeah my
boss is just giving me so many tasks
right now and I actually cannot deal it
so much I'm just going to have to
schedule a meeting or something and tell
her because my current workload is
already too much and I want to avoid not
burning out and then still pushing
myself beyond the limit if she says no
she says no but then at least I tried
see the difference there was nothing
scary about that the difference between
these two girls is that Athena might not
100% get her way because once again you
cannot control other people's opinions
or reactions to you but she is doing the
self-loving favor of trying and showing
up for herself anyway Lola is giving up
before she even starts and that is not a
very nice thing to do for yourself to
always be putting others before yourself
you deserve better than that and I
really hope this video showed you that
and showed you that breaking out this
habit doesn't have to be impossible and
it doesn't have to be scary and it
doesn't have to result in everyone being
upset with you if there was a particular
chapter method or point I made in this
video that really resonated with you I
would love you commented down below I
always read through your comments and
your feedback to make sure that I can
improve every single video for you guys
so I'd love if you did that or even if
you have feedback or you want me to
include something in a future video or
if you have a video request I always
write them down literally every single
one I hope you guys enjoyed this thank
you so much for watching again I love
and appreciate every single one of you
I'm just honestly still so in awe that I
get to upload these videos every single
week it's honestly a dream come true I
love that I can share the lessons that
I've learned in my life with you guys
and I love to see you all implementing
it and I I see your comments telling me
the progress you've made it just warms
my heart so keep up what you're doing
because I'm so so so so proud of you and
I will see you same time next week for a
brand new video on Friday bye
[Music]
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