the mindset that gets socially awkward men laid
Summary
TLDRThe speaker discusses the importance of leading and escalating in social interactions, especially for men, emphasizing the need for assertiveness without being overly pushy. He recounts an experience at The Bungalow in Santa Monica where an awkward man, despite repeated rejections, eventually succeeded in attracting a stunning woman, illustrating the power of persistence and confidence. The narrative also touches on the effectiveness of engaging in a woman's sexual fantasies, like a dominant-submissive dynamic, to create memorable experiences, highlighting the value of understanding and catering to individual desires.
Takeaways
- 🕺 Leading confidently and escalating quickly is crucial in social interactions, ideally within 2 to 5 minutes or even faster if the connection is strong.
- 🚫 Avoid being overly pushy, but assertiveness can be beneficial in moving interactions forward.
- 🤔 Many men fail to escalate or sexualize interactions enough, which can be a missed opportunity for deeper connection.
- 🤓 Even those who are socially awkward can succeed in social interactions if they are persistent and unafraid of rejection.
- 🎉 Success in social interactions is not solely based on looks or smoothness; willpower and determination can be just as effective.
- 👀 Observing others, even those with perceived social disadvantages, can provide valuable lessons on overcoming obstacles.
- 🔁 Persistence is key; repeating an approach or invitation can eventually lead to success despite initial rejections.
- 💡 Building attraction and rapport is important, but sometimes directness and assertiveness can override the need for a lengthy build-up.
- 👥 Social dynamics can be unpredictable, and sometimes unusual or unexpected strategies can yield positive results.
- 👠 Recognizing and playing into a person's kinks or sexual fantasies can create a memorable and satisfying experience for both parties.
- 🌟 Even individuals who may not be conventionally attractive can achieve social success through sheer determination and a willingness to take risks.
Q & A
What is the suggested timeframe for leading a woman to the dance floor or another area?
-The suggested timeframe is within 2 to 5 minutes, sometimes even faster, depending on the situation.
What is a common issue among men when it comes to leading in social situations?
-A common issue is that men often do not lead enough, do not escalate enough, and do not sexualize enough in social situations.
What advice is given about being pushy in social interactions?
-The advice is to not be too pushy, but to be assertive and take the initiative, like suggesting going to an afterparty.
How does the speaker describe the man who was awkward but successful in social interactions?
-The man was described as possibly having autism due to his awkwardness and lack of social cues, but he was persistent and did not let rejections affect his ego.
What was the surprising outcome for the awkward man at The Bungalow in Santa Monica?
-Surprisingly, the awkward man ended up with a very attractive woman who resembled a 90s model, indicating that persistence can sometimes overcome awkwardness.
What is the speaker's opinion on the importance of being smooth versus being assertive?
-The speaker believes that being assertive and going for it is more important than being smooth, especially if one has to choose between the two.
Can you provide an example of a successful interaction from the speaker's experience?
-The speaker shared an experience where a woman got on her knees and begged to have sex with him as part of a BDSM role play, showing that catering to a woman's sexual fantasy can be very effective.
What was the speaker's friend's reaction to the role play scenario?
-The friend was in awe of the scenario, impressed by both the attractiveness of the woman and the full-on role play that took place.
What is the speaker's view on the effectiveness of role play in certain sexual encounters?
-The speaker believes that role play can be very effective if it aligns with a woman's sexual fantasy, such as the dominant-submissive archetype.
What was the outcome for the man who was described as having no game but still managed to pull a hot girl?
-Despite his lack of game, the man was able to pull a hot girl through sheer willpower and persistence, demonstrating that determination can be a powerful factor in social interactions.
Outlines
💃 Escalation and Leading in Social Interactions
The speaker emphasizes the importance of leading within the first 2 to 5 minutes of an interaction, sometimes even faster, to escalate the situation effectively. They note that it's more common for men to not lead or escalate enough rather than being too pushy. The speaker recounts an anecdote about a socially awkward man who, despite his lack of social finesse, was successful in attracting a very attractive woman due to his persistence and lack of hesitation. This example serves to illustrate that determination and initiative can often outweigh social awkwardness in social and romantic encounters.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Leading
💡Escalate
💡Sexualize
💡Pushy
💡Afterparty
💡Autism
💡Attraction
💡Rapport
💡Ego
💡BDSM
💡Willpower
Highlights
Leading should ideally occur within 2-5 minutes, sometimes even faster, to escalate the interaction.
It's more common for men to not lead or escalate enough rather than being too pushy.
Being a bit pushy can be effective, as long as it's not overdone.
An awkward man with poor social cues surprisingly succeeded in attracting a very attractive woman.
The man's persistence and lack of hesitation in approaching women contributed to his success.
Having no hesitation and pushing forward is more important than being smooth.
An example of a man with no game but sheer willpower pulling a hot girl.
The importance of not letting awkwardness or ego affect one's approach.
A personal experience where the speaker engaged in a BDSM role play with a woman.
The role play escalated to the woman begging the speaker to come home with her.
The speaker's friend was in awe of the successful role play interaction.
Some women enjoy the dominant-submissive dynamic, inspired by the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon.
Playing into a woman's kink can lead to the best sexual experience of her life.
The speaker emphasizes that fulfilling a woman's sexual fantasy is more for her benefit than his own.
Observation of a man who, despite being unattractive, successfully pulled a very attractive woman through determination.
The value of persistence and going for it, even when one may not have the traditional 'game'.
Transcripts
so generally I would say you should be
leading
within really like 2 to 5 minutes maybe
10 somewhere in that range sometimes
even faster if it's really on just take
her straight to the dance floor take her
straight to a different area but it's
much more common that guys don't lead
enough they don't escalate enough they
don't sexualize enough than it is the
other way around and the guys that are a
little bit pushy and never be too pushy
but that are a little bit on the pushy
side like hey let's go hey I have an
Afterparty even if they're awkward like
I knew guy who I thought must have
autism because he was just so awkward
the way he talked he just didn't seem to
register you know uh social cues like
people who autism do and this guy was
also not good-look and this was an LA it
was actually uh The Bungalow I'm going
to be going to an LA for a boot camp
this weekend but it was in The Bungalow
in Santa Monica and I saw this guy get
rejected harshly again and again and
again and again but every time he was
approaching girls and I didn't even want
to be around him or wing with him
because I I did a couple times and he
was just like hey I have an Afterparty
nearby uh it's just 5 minutes away he
was doing that like really really fast
and not building any attraction or like
Rapport or anything and I thought
there's no way this guy's ever gonna
pull and then later in the night uh and
I was actually pulling myself but later
in the night I was with this girl and I
saw him with a girl who was shockingly
hot it was like she was like a nine out
of 10 in my look scale she looked like a
model and not like a new model where
it's you know chubby women uh like a
model from the 90s when they were
actually hot and he pulled her and he
said he slept with her I can't confirm
that for sure but it looked like it was
on and I've seen a lot of examples of
guys like that uh where they're a little
bit awkward but they just have no
hesitation going for it right they just
go for it and they'll just go go go go
go and they don't care about the
awkwardness they don't care about
feeling like oh that was cringe uh their
ego isn't affected and those guys do
very well now they would do a lot better
if they were also smooth but if you had
to choose between being smooth and being
someone that really goes for it being
someone who really goes for it would be
the better of the two and yeah that was
a was a very interesting experience it
was during an
RSD hot seat I think it was and it was a
night where the girl I pulled I actually
got her to get on her knees and beg to
have sex with me uh not in it like she
wanted to it was a role play a BDSM role
play basically where I went from
initially uh just I was about to make
out with her and then let me think exact
what I said I was about to make out with
her and he was like H uh and I pulled
away and then I said say please make out
with me and then she's like okay please
make out with me and then I added Master
please make out with me master and then
uh eventually when I actually took her
to her place um took it all the way to
her getting on her knees and begging me
to come home with her and I was with my
friend and he was in awe of this whole
thing because first of all she was
really hot and he kept talking about
damn she was hot like I that was that
was cool and uh also literally just
getting this full-on roleplay now that's
not going to work on every woman but
there's some who have the archetype
where they really like that dominant
submission thing the whole 50 Shades of
Gray thing it's a lot but not all um and
if you sense a woman has that Kink
playing into it that's like her sexual
fantasy like she has that'll have the
best sex of her life right and it's
actually doing her a favor it's more I
mean you get the power trip or whatever
but it's really more for her than it is
for you so that was a great night where
I had a good time but also so perhaps
even more importantly I just saw this
guy who had no game was he was maybe a
five out of 10 looks wise right he
wasn't ugly but he wasn't good looking
and uh you know he pulled a really hot
girl through sheer uh sheer willpower
right just sheer just going for it so
hard
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