“It’s Never Too Early to Go Back to Bed” - Martha Kelly - Full Special

Summary

In this humorous monologue, Martha Kelly shares anecdotes from her life, including her decision not to have children, her love for her pets, and the challenges of pet euthanasia. She also touches on her experiences with sobriety, her twin sister's memoir, and her quirky views on animal rights and office work. Kelly's candid storytelling and comedic timing elicit laughter from the audience, showcasing her unique perspective on life's absurdities.

Takeaways

• 🎤 The speaker, Martha Kelly, is a comedian who shares personal anecdotes and humor during her performance.
• 🏠 She has moved multiple times from Los Angeles to Austin, reflecting on her experiences and the challenges of relocation.
• 🐾 Martha has a deep affection for animals, having had several pets in her life, and she discusses the emotional aspects of pet ownership, including the difficult decision to euthanize them.
• 😢 She shares a touching story about a letter left by one of her deceased cats, which humorously requests that her ashes be thrown in the dog's face.
• 🌱 Martha has become a vegetarian and animal activist, expressing her views on animal rights and her thoughts on certain practices like keeping killer whales in captivity.
• 🚫 She humorously suggests that we should reconsider certain activities, like riding horses, based on the lack of evidence of such behavior in the wild.
• 🍹 The comedian talks about her past experiences with drinking and how she quit, leading to a lifestyle change and new perspectives.
• 📚 Martha has a twin sister who is a writer and has published a memoir, which Martha finds too personal to read.
• 🏢 She also discusses her past office jobs and humorously compares the monotony of filing to being in a cult.
• 🤔 Reflecting on her own life, Martha humorously contemplates the idea of becoming a motivational speaker with unconventional seminar topics.
• 🤦‍♀️ She addresses the challenges of being short, expressing her discomfort with being lifted and the societal misconceptions about short adults.

Q & A

What is the main theme of Martha Kelly's stand-up routine in this transcript?

The main theme of Martha Kelly's stand-up routine in this transcript revolves around personal anecdotes, humor, and reflections on life experiences, including her relationships with her family and pets, her views on parenting, and her experiences with moving and working.

Why does Martha Kelly compare the difference between loving babies and wanting to be a parent to loving roller coasters and wanting to have a romantic relationship with a carnival worker?

Martha Kelly uses this comparison to illustrate the stark contrast she feels between enjoying the company of babies and the commitment and responsibility involved in becoming a parent, highlighting her personal choice not to have children.

What is the humorous situation Martha describes regarding her pets during a cross-country drive?

Martha humorously describes a situation where she had to pull over during a cross-country drive because her pets, who were initially making a lot of noise, had suddenly gone silent. She called a 'family meeting' to address their behavior, showing her imaginative approach to dealing with her pets.

How does Martha Kelly express her feelings about the loss of her pets?

Martha Kelly expresses her feelings about the loss of her pets by sharing the emotional experience of having to euthanize them, finding humor in the situation with the letter from her cat, and emphasizing the cycle of getting new pets as a way to cope with the loss.

What is the significance of the letter Martha found in her cat's belongings?

The letter Martha found in her cat's belongings is significant as it adds a layer of humor and sentimentality to her story about pet loss. It is a fictional letter that humorously addresses her cat's misunderstanding of a conversation about euthanasia and ends with a request that adds a comedic twist.

How does Martha Kelly's stand-up routine reflect her views on animal rights and animal welfare?

Martha Kelly's stand-up routine reflects her views on animal rights and welfare through her stories about her pets, her decision to become a vegetarian, and her commentary on the documentary 'Blackfish,' which criticizes the treatment of captive orcas.

What is Martha's perspective on the idea of riding horses, and why does she believe they might hate it?

Martha's perspective is that horses might hate being ridden because they never give rides to other animals in the wild. She uses this observation to humorously argue against the practice, suggesting it's something they would do if they enjoyed it.

Why did Martha Kelly quit drinking, and how did it affect her life?

Martha Kelly quit drinking in December of 2003, and it affected her life by giving her more time and energy to engage in activities she had never done before, such as crying and cussing at strangers, which she humorously presents as a positive change.

What is the Total Trolley, and why does Martha find the customer testimonials for it so endearing?

The Total Trolley is a product featured in an infomercial that turns into a wheeled platform for moving furniture when laid on its side. Martha finds the customer testimonials endearing because they are heartfelt, with one customer humorously referring to it as a 'member of the family.'

How does Martha Kelly's experience with filing in an office job lead her to consider joining a cult?

Martha Kelly's experience with filing in an office job, where she spent two weeks filing all day in a basement full of file cabinets, made her feel so drained and lifeless that she humorously considered joining a cult, as she felt it might at least offer some excitement and benefits.

What is Martha Kelly's take on the idea of short adults being childlike and enjoying being lifted off their feet?

Martha Kelly humorously addresses the misconception that short adults enjoy being lifted off their feet, asserting that it is uncomfortable and not enjoyable. She speaks for short people, emphasizing that they do not like being picked up by taller individuals.