How to actually build a romantic connection with anybody

Summary

This video breaks down a three-step process to help men build romantic connections, drawing on the experiences of multiple clients and the speaker’s personal journey. It emphasizes the importance of building attraction and perceived value before delving into comfort and connection. The video highlights common mistakes men make, such as focusing too much on connection without maintaining attraction. It advises on creating a romantic connection by maintaining a balance of attraction and comfort while incorporating playful qualification techniques. Ultimately, it offers strategies for transforming one’s dating life and building confidence in social interactions.

Takeaways

• 😀 Attraction and value should always be built first in romantic interactions, before moving to comfort and connection.
• 😀 Many men make the mistake of jumping into comfort and connection without first establishing attraction, which leads to being seen as just a friend.
• 😀 Initial attraction can be lost if the interaction is too focused on comfort and connection without maintaining the spark.
• 😀 It's important to qualify the woman by allowing her to prove herself to you, rather than just sharing everything about yourself right away.
• 😀 Creating attraction and maintaining it throughout an interaction is crucial to avoid the relationship fizzling out.
• 😀 A proper qualification process helps establish the value of both parties in the interaction, much like a job interview where both sides screen each other.
• 😀 If the woman doesn't qualify herself to you, it means you tried to qualify her too early, and you should focus more on fun and flirting to build a stronger connection.
• 😀 Having the mindset of someone in a higher status helps you naturally practice qualification in dating, similar to how people in high-status positions screen others in life.
• 😀 Build romantic connections with balance—don’t just focus on deep connection. Keep the attraction alive while building comfort and connection.
• 😀 Inject flirting and lighthearted moments periodically to spice things up and keep the attraction going while getting to know the woman on a deeper level.

Q & A

What is the common mistake most men make when trying to build a romantic connection with a woman?

The common mistake is starting with comfort and connection, like trying to find commonalities, before building attraction and perceived value. Attraction should always come first before moving into deeper connections.

Why is attraction more important than comfort and connection in the early stages of dating?

Attraction creates initial interest and intrigue. Without establishing attraction first, comfort and connection will not be able to develop into anything more meaningful, often leading to the relationship stalling out or remaining purely platonic.

What is the concept of 'qualification' in the dating process?

Qualification is when the woman proves her worth to you by demonstrating she has the qualities you value in a partner. It shifts the dynamic, making her work to qualify for your attention, rather than you constantly pursuing her.

How does the analogy of a job application relate to dating?

Just like in a job application process, where candidates prove they are qualified for the position, in dating, a woman should demonstrate why she is a good fit for a relationship with you. This process makes her more appreciative and invested in the connection.

What should a man focus on when transitioning from comfort and connection to building a romantic connection?

A man should focus on maintaining and increasing attraction during this transition. Instead of only delving deep into personal topics, he should keep the interaction flirty, playful, and romantic to maintain a dynamic tension.

What is the danger of over-focusing on connection during a date?

Over-focusing on connection can make the interaction feel too serious or deep too soon, which can kill the flirtatious dynamic and make it awkward to escalate physically or romantically, like moving towards a kiss.

How can a man ensure he does not lose attraction while building comfort and connection?

He can periodically inject flirty, playful moments into the conversation, ensuring that attraction is maintained and not overshadowed by the depth of the connection. This balance keeps the relationship both comfortable and exciting.

What is the key to creating a romantic connection rather than just a platonic one?

The key is to flirt and escalate while building comfort and connection. It’s about creating romantic tension while getting to know each other, rather than just focusing on friendship or commonalities.

Why is it important to get a woman to qualify herself instead of just pursuing her?

Getting her to qualify herself adds value to the connection. It makes her more invested in the relationship because she feels like she earned your attention. This leads to a more balanced and mutually appreciative dynamic.

What is the potential outcome of a dating interaction if attraction is not maintained?

If attraction is not maintained, the relationship can stall or fizzle out. Even if there is initial interest, without continuous attraction, the woman may lose interest and eventually disengage, as seen in the example of the speaker’s past experience.