Comment poser BONNES QUESTIONS ?

Summary

In this video, the importance of mastering the art of questioning is explored. The speaker highlights how simply giving advice often leads to resistance due to cognitive biases like confirmation bias and the principle of consistency. The key to helping someone progress in their thinking is asking the right questions. Methods like the GROW model are discussed, alongside different types of questions—closed, open, alternative, reaction-seeking, and mirror questions—that encourage reflection and problem-solving. Mastering these techniques is vital for effective communication, coaching, and management.

Takeaways

• 😀 The most effective way to help someone advance or reflect is by asking the right questions, not offering advice immediately.
• 😀 Giving unsolicited advice, especially when someone is in doubt, often leads to resistance due to the confirmation bias, where people prefer information that supports their beliefs.
• 😀 Using coaching techniques like the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will) helps guide someone through their own thought process and decision-making.
• 😀 A good question is calibrated; avoid starting with 'Why' because it can make the person feel defensive and lead to vague responses.
• 😀 Instead of asking 'Why did you make this choice?', ask more specific questions like 'What motivated you to make this decision?' to encourage reflection.
• 😀 There are two main types of questions: closed questions (yes/no) that get direct answers and open-ended questions that encourage detailed responses and conversation.
• 😀 The questioning technique can be further refined with 5 specific types: alternatives, reaction-eliciting, reformulation/validation, deepening, and mirror questions.
• 😀 Alternative questions guide the respondent to choose between two options, e.g., 'Do you prefer X or Y?', sometimes leading to false alternatives to get a specific outcome.
• 😀 Reaction-eliciting questions aim to prompt a response, often a 'No', to ease tension and open up a constructive dialogue.
• 😀 Reformulation or validation questions help ensure mutual understanding, such as 'If I understand correctly, you want us to work on X together, right?'
• 😀 Mirror questions and interrogative silences encourage deeper thinking and responses by repeating a key part of the conversation or pausing for reflection.
• 😀 Mastering the art of questioning is a powerful tool that helps individuals solve their own problems, and it can be applied in coaching, therapy, management, and more.

Q & A

What is the primary method for helping someone work through a problem or doubt, according to the script?

The best method is to ask the right questions, guiding the person through their own thought process rather than giving direct advice.

Why is giving direct advice often ineffective when helping someone solve a problem?

Direct advice can trigger the confirmation bias, where the person may resist and defend their own choices, making it harder for them to consider alternative perspectives.

What is the confirmation bias and how does it affect decision-making?

Confirmation bias is a cognitive bias where people tend to favor information that confirms their preexisting beliefs, making them less open to contradictory information.

What is the role of a manager when a collaborator faces a challenge, and how should they respond?

A manager should avoid giving ready-made solutions. Instead, they should help the collaborator find their own solutions, which has a stronger impact and promotes engagement.

What is the GROW method, and what are its components?

The GROW method is a coaching framework used for problem-solving and goal achievement. It stands for Goal, Reality, Options, and Will, helping guide someone through setting objectives, assessing their current situation, exploring options, and deciding on a course of action.

Why should we avoid asking 'Why' in our questions, according to the script?

'Why' questions tend to put the respondent on the defensive, making them feel like they need to justify their actions. Instead, more precise and open-ended questions should be used.

What is a calibrated question, and how does it differ from general questions?

A calibrated question is one that is specific and avoids the general, often vague nature of 'why' questions. It encourages deeper reflection without triggering defensiveness.

What are the key differences between closed and open-ended questions?

Closed questions are designed to obtain a simple yes or no answer, whereas open-ended questions encourage more detailed responses and facilitate dialogue.

What are some types of questions that can be used to guide someone’s thought process?

Some types include alternative questions (offering choices), reaction questions (eliciting responses), validation questions (confirming understanding), probing questions (encouraging deeper exploration), and mirror questions (reflecting the speaker’s words back to them).

How can mirror questions or silence be useful in a conversation?

Mirror questions or silence encourage the other person to elaborate on their thoughts. By repeating key words or pausing, you prompt them to think deeper and explore their own reasoning.