Il ne sait pas ce qu'il veut : que faut-il lui dire ?

Summary

In this coaching video, relationship expert Alexandre addresses women struggling with a man who says 'I don't know what I want.' He emphasizes that such a statement often reflects a lack of self-awareness and a desire to keep options open. Alexandre advises women to stop making excuses for indecisive men and instead focus on their own desires and self-worth. He encourages them to take control, stop chasing, and to create a relationship where the man is compelled to fight for their attention. By embracing this mindset, women can transform their relationships and gain confidence in their choices.

Takeaways

• 😀 Understand that when a man says 'I don't know what I want,' it often means he doesn't know his own needs, just like you may not know your favorite dish until you try it.
• 😀 Avoid trying to please him when he expresses uncertainty; instead, focus on surprising him and creating excitement in the relationship.
• 😀 If a man offers to remain friends or continue casual encounters, it's a sign he might be trying to keep you around without committing.
• 😀 Men who are unsure of what they want may try to manipulate the situation by offering friendship or casual intimacy while knowing you're emotionally invested.
• 😀 When a man says he doesn't know what he wants, it's often a challenge for you to prove your worth. Don’t fall into this trap by trying to show him what he’s missing.
• 😀 Don't base your self-worth on his words; focus on your desires and what you want from the relationship, rather than seeking his approval.
• 😀 In some cases, men who claim to not know what they want are testing you and trying to gauge your response to their indecision.
• 😀 If a man truly wants to commit, he will, despite his initial hesitation. Women who successfully make him commit know how to balance challenge and surprise.
• 😀 Take control of the situation and stop making excuses for his behavior. If you keep making excuses for him, you'll allow him to avoid commitment and emotional growth.
• 😀 Shift your mindset: Instead of seeing yourself as the one unsure of what you want, recognize that you deserve a strong and decisive partner, and make him prove he’s worthy of your time.

Q & A

What does it mean when a man says 'I don't know what I want'?

It reflects the idea that people, including men, often don’t fully understand their own needs or desires, even in relationships. This uncertainty is normal, and the challenge lies in discovering what truly excites and satisfies them.

How can you be sure what you want in a relationship?

You can’t always predict what you will want until you experience it. The speaker uses the example of food, where someone may not know their favorite dish until they try it. The same applies to relationships: desires evolve as you encounter new experiences.

Why is it ineffective to try to please a man who is unsure of what he wants?

Trying to please a man who doesn’t know what he wants can make the relationship lack excitement. He may feel there’s no surprise or challenge, which is essential to creating attraction and emotional engagement.

What is the man trying to do when he suggests staying friends or continuing a casual relationship?

He is likely trying to keep the woman 'on hold' while benefiting from the relationship without committing. This behavior can be manipulative, especially if he knows she has feelings for him.

How should you respond when a man proposes continuing a relationship without commitment?

You should take control of the situation by not agreeing to casual terms. The speaker advises avoiding sex and focusing on emotional connection to create a more meaningful and stable bond.

What is the importance of surprise in a relationship?

Surprise is essential to creating attraction and keeping the relationship dynamic. When a woman doesn’t simply react to a man’s uncertainty but surprises him with her strength and confidence, she reignites the excitement and challenge that can lead to deeper commitment.

What should women do instead of waiting for a man to decide what he wants?

Women should focus on their own desires, needs, and growth. They should stop making excuses for the man's indecision and take charge of their own lives, showing that they will not tolerate ambiguity.

Why is it crucial to stop making excuses for a man who is uncertain about commitment?

Making excuses allows the man to avoid making a decision, which can lead to prolonged emotional distress. By not excusing his behavior, women can protect their own emotional well-being and encourage clarity in the relationship.

How can women regain control when a man is unsure of his feelings?

Women should shift the power dynamic by asserting their own desires and expectations. By showing strength and not reacting to the man’s uncertainty, they can prompt him to reflect on his own feelings and make a decision.

What should women focus on when they want to create a 'special' relationship?

Women should focus on creating emotional engagement and surprise rather than focusing solely on the man’s actions. The speaker suggests that by doing so, they can build a unique and meaningful relationship that goes beyond casual or uncertain interactions.