Isabella's Story: being deaf and autistic

Summary

This transcript shares the experiences of a deaf autistic individual navigating a world that often struggles to accept differences. The speaker reflects on challenges such as stimming, sensory overload, and the pressure to conform to societal norms, particularly from hearing and neurotypical people. They discuss how the deaf community provides a safer space for expression, but acknowledge the difficulties with eye contact in sign language for autistic individuals. Ultimately, the speaker emphasizes the importance of acceptance and self-love, advocating for a world that embraces diversity without forcing people to change who they are.

Takeaways

• 🧩 Many deaf autistic people exist, but the world doesn't always accept them openly.
• ✋ As a child, the speaker was told to 'quiet their hands,' which suppressed their natural stimming behavior.
• 🌀 Stimming is a common behavior for autistic people, used to release energy, and it's not inherently bad.
• 🤝 The deaf community offers more acceptance because American Sign Language (ASL) embraces 'loud hands' as part of communication.
• 👂 Hearing people often assume that deaf individuals want to hear, but sameness doesn't equate to equality.
• 🧠 Autism is part of the speaker's identity, not a pathology, and they experience sensory overload, especially with sounds.
• 🎧 Hearing aids cause discomfort, anxiety, and stress for the speaker, but in the deaf community, they can remove them and relax.
• 📊 Both deafness and autism exist on a spectrum, with varying communication styles and sensory experiences.
• 👁 Eye contact, crucial in sign language, can be difficult for autistic people, leading to communication challenges.
• 🌍 The world is evolving, and it's important to create an environment where people feel loved, accepted, and don't need to change themselves.

Q & A

What challenge does the speaker describe in existing openly as a deaf autistic person?

The speaker explains that it's difficult to exist openly as a deaf autistic person because society doesn't always accept differences and may expect people to conform to norms that don't accommodate their unique needs.

What does the phrase 'quiet your hands' mean in the context of the speaker's experience?

The phrase 'quiet your hands' refers to people telling the speaker to be still, suppressing natural stimming behavior, which involves moving the body to release energy.

What is stimming, and why do autistic people engage in it?

Stimming is a behavior where autistic people move their bodies to release energy, and it’s a natural coping mechanism to manage emotions and sensory input.

How does the deaf community make the speaker feel more accepted?

The speaker feels more accepted in the deaf community because American Sign Language (ASL) embraces the use of 'loud hands,' which contrasts with the hearing community's expectation for stillness.

What misconception do hearing people have about deaf individuals, according to the speaker?

Hearing people often believe that deaf individuals wish they could hear, but the speaker points out that this assumption is incorrect and that sameness is not equality.

Why does the speaker describe hearing aids as uncomfortable and stressful?

The speaker explains that wearing hearing aids causes anxiety, stress, and physical pain in their ears, particularly due to being overwhelmed by sounds.

What is a key difference in communication between the deaf and autistic communities?

A key difference is that deaf people rely on eye contact for communication, which can be challenging for autistic people who may find eye contact uncomfortable or unnatural.

Why does the speaker find the deaf community a safe space as an autistic person?

The speaker finds the deaf community a safe space because they can communicate and socialize without experiencing sensory overload, particularly when signing without hearing aids.

How does the speaker compare the experiences of deaf and autistic individuals?

The speaker notes that both communities are diverse, with deaf people existing on a spectrum of hearing abilities and communication styles, and autistic people having varying sensory needs and behaviors. Each individual's experience is unique.

What is the speaker's overall message about societal expectations and personal identity?

The speaker believes that societal expectations, such as wanting autistic or deaf people to conform to 'normal' behavior, are misguided. People should be accepted for who they are and not pressured to change themselves to fit into a narrow definition of normalcy.

Outlines

00:00

👐 Navigating Life as a Deaf Autistic Person

The speaker reflects on the challenges of being openly deaf and autistic in a world that struggles to accept differences. They recount being told to ‘quiet their hands’ as a child, which suppressed a natural autistic behavior called stimming, a way to release energy through body movement. While stimming is necessary, others often perceive it as strange. In contrast, the deaf community embraces expressive hand movements through American Sign Language (ASL), which makes them feel more accepted.

🔊 Misconceptions About Deafness and Autism

Hearing people often assume that deaf individuals wish they could hear, just as neurotypical people misunderstand autism, thinking it is something that needs to be ‘fixed’ or normalized. However, the speaker emphasizes that both deafness and autism are not impairments to be corrected but parts of their identity. For instance, while some deaf people find hearing aids uncomfortable, the speaker experiences sensory overload from them, resulting in anxiety and physical pain.

😌 Finding Comfort in the Deaf Community

Within the deaf community, the speaker finds solace, being able to remove their hearing aids and avoid sensory overload. Signing allows them to communicate without the constant stress of sounds. They highlight that deaf people experience varying levels of hearing loss and communication preferences, illustrating that both the deaf and autistic communities are diverse, encompassing a wide range of identities and experiences.

👀 Challenges of Eye Contact in Communication

A challenge for deaf individuals with autism is the reliance on eye contact in ASL, which can feel uncomfortable for autistic people. While maintaining eye contact is crucial for perceiving facial expressions in ASL, this can be difficult for the speaker, leading to communication difficulties. The speaker explains that while hearing autistic individuals may not face this issue as prominently, it presents a significant obstacle for deaf autistic people.

🎭 The Pressure to Conform

There is societal pressure for both deaf and autistic individuals to conform to a ‘normal’ way of being, such as using speech or hearing aids. However, the speaker critiques this, noting that being different does not equate to being lesser. They emphasize that greatness can be achieved without having to alter one’s fundamental identity, either as a deaf or autistic person.

🌍 A Changing World and Acceptance

The speaker concludes with optimism, noting that the world is evolving toward greater acceptance and understanding of differences. They emphasize the importance of creating a loving and inclusive society where people feel valued for who they are, without having to conform to societal expectations of ‘normalcy.’

Keywords

💡Deaf Autistic People

This refers to individuals who are both deaf and autistic, representing a unique intersection of two communities. In the script, the speaker discusses the challenges of being part of both groups, highlighting how it can be difficult to exist in a world that doesn't fully accept these differences. The speaker also points out that while the deaf community can offer a sense of acceptance, there are still unique challenges for deaf autistic people, such as maintaining eye contact.

💡Stimming

Stimming, or self-stimulatory behavior, is an action that helps autistic individuals manage sensory input or release excess energy. The speaker mentions stimming as something that autistic people need to do, and that others often misunderstand or find strange. The speaker was told to ‘quiet their hands’ as a child, showing how stimming is sometimes discouraged in an effort to make autistic individuals conform to societal norms.

💡Sensory Overload

Sensory overload occurs when the brain receives too much sensory input, leading to feelings of discomfort or distress. The speaker, who is both deaf and autistic, describes being overwhelmed by sounds, especially when wearing hearing aids. This concept is crucial to understanding the speaker's need for environments where they can remove their hearing aids and avoid auditory overload, as is possible in the deaf community where signing is used.

💡American Sign Language (ASL)

American Sign Language (ASL) is a visual language used by the deaf community. The speaker mentions that ASL is not a 'quiet hand' language, which contrasts with their experience of being told to ‘quiet their hands’ when stimming. ASL allows for expressive, physical communication, which the speaker finds liberating because it doesn’t lead to the sensory overload caused by spoken language or auditory inputs.

💡Hearing Aids

Hearing aids are devices used by people with hearing loss to amplify sound. For the speaker, wearing hearing aids induces anxiety, stress, and physical pain, which is different from the common assumption that all deaf people want to use hearing aids. This highlights the diversity within the deaf community, where some prefer not to use hearing aids because of the discomfort or sensory overload they cause.

💡Neurotypical

Neurotypical refers to individuals whose neurological development and functioning are considered 'normal' or typical. The speaker contrasts the neurotypical perspective with the lived experience of autistic people, pointing out that neurotypicals often expect autistic individuals to 'act normal.' This concept is used to emphasize how societal expectations are shaped by neurotypical norms, often marginalizing autistic people.

💡Deaf Spectrum

The deaf spectrum refers to the range of hearing abilities and identities within the deaf community, including those who are hard of hearing. The speaker emphasizes that not all deaf people experience the same level of hearing loss, nor do they all communicate in the same way. This spectrum is similar to the autism spectrum, where each individual has unique sensory and communication needs.

💡Eye Contact

Eye contact is the act of looking directly into another person's eyes during communication. For autistic individuals, making and maintaining eye contact can feel uncomfortable and unnatural. The speaker points out that in the deaf community, maintaining eye contact is essential for understanding facial expressions during sign language, which can be a challenge for autistic people and lead to miscommunication.

💡Sameness vs Equality

This concept addresses the misunderstanding that treating everyone the same is the same as treating everyone equally. The speaker argues that hearing people often think that making deaf people use speech or wear hearing aids is a form of equality, but this disregards individual preferences and needs. Similarly, neurotypical people expect autistic individuals to conform to their idea of 'normal,' rather than accepting their differences as valid.

💡Identity vs Pathology

This concept distinguishes between viewing autism as a core part of one's identity versus seeing it as a medical condition that needs to be fixed. The speaker asserts that being autistic is part of their identity, not a pathology, and should be respected as such. This counters the often-held belief that autism is something negative or something to be cured, promoting acceptance instead.

Highlights

Deaf autistic people often struggle to exist openly in a world that doesn’t always accept them.

Growing up, Isabella was told to 'quiet her hands,' reflecting societal discomfort with autistic stimming behaviors.

Stimming is a natural behavior for autistic people, used to release energy, yet it is often misunderstood or seen as awkward.

American Sign Language (ASL) allows for 'loud hands,' making the deaf community more accepting of stimming behaviors.

Hearing people often mistakenly believe that deaf people wish they could hear, equating sameness with equality.

Being autistic is an identity, not a pathology, challenging misconceptions about autism and normalcy.

Isabella finds hearing aids uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing, unlike others in the deaf community.

Removing hearing aids and using sign language in the deaf community helps reduce sensory overload for Isabella.

Deaf people exist on a spectrum of hearing ability, and their communication styles and identities vary widely.

The deaf community feels like a safe space for autistic individuals, allowing communication without sensory overload.

Maintaining eye contact is necessary in ASL but challenging for autistic individuals, leading to communication difficulties.

Neurotypical perspectives on autism often involve trying to make autistic people act 'normal,' which is misguided.

People want one-size-fits-all solutions, but the world, especially in terms of neurodiversity, doesn't work that way.

Both the deaf and autistic communities emphasize that individuals don’t need to change themselves to achieve great things.

The world is evolving, and our responsibility is to ensure people feel loved and accepted as they are.

Transcripts

There are a lot of deaf autistic people out there, but I think

it's difficult to exist

openly in a world that doesn't always accept you.

When I was growing up, people would always tell me

“Isabella, quiet your hands; you need to keep your hands quiet.”

What they really meant was for me to be still.

There is a behavior some autistic people do called stimming,

meaning that we move our body when we need to release energy.

Now, that's not a bad thing, it’s just something that we need to do.

For example, when I stim, I’ll move, yet sometimes people find it strange or awkward.

With the deaf community, I do feel a little more accepted because American Sign Language

is not a “quiet hand” type of language.

You need to have loud hands.

Hearing people think that deaf people wish they could hear,

that they wish their situation was different.

Hearing people think sameness is equality but that is not true.

It's the same thing with being autistic.

For autistic people, it’s our identity, not a pathology.

I personally am overwhelmed by sounds.

Some deaf people feel like hearing aids are simply uncomfortable,

but for me, wearing hearing aids

gives me anxiety, stress, and sometimes physical pain in my ears.

When I’m in the deaf community with other deaf people or other signers, I can take off

my hearing aids and just relax.

When we are signing, I don’t have to worry about sensory overload.

Deaf people don’t all hear or not hear at the same levels.

They are on a spectrum.

People aren’t just totally deaf or hearing.

Deaf people have varying communication styles and identities

like deaf or hard of hearing.

Each deaf person is unique, so there are wide ranges of people

just as it is with the autistic community.

For me, the deaf community feels like a safe space for people with autism.

We can communicate and socialize without the sensory overload.

I do have to say some drawbacks exist.

For example, deaf people need constant eye contact when signing in order to perceive

and understand facial expressions.

Maintaining eye contact is difficult for a person with autism because it feels uncomfortable

and unnatural to lock eyes.

For hearing autistic people it's not a huge issue, but for a deaf person with autism it

can lead to miscommunications or make communication more difficult.

I think people want a one size fits all solution,

but that's not how the world works.

Most hearing people want deaf people to use speech, to wear hearing aids,

they don't want people to come across as different.

I see that with autism.

Neurotypical people and their perspective of autism is completely different from those

of us who are autistic.

They think people who are autistic should act "normal”.

I think part of being autistic and being deaf is that there's a recognition that you can

still do great things without having to change yourself.

Overall, I think the world itself is growing, evolving, changing and becoming a better world

and I think that our responsibility is to make sure that people feel loved

and feel accepted.