Business Speaker Erin Meyer: The Language of Negative Feedback

Summary

This script explores cultural differences in communication, particularly in providing feedback. It contrasts the directness of Dutch and British colleagues, showing how the Dutch's blunt criticism was perceived negatively by the British, who took it personally. Conversely, the British's more tactful feedback was misinterpreted by the Dutch as dishonesty. The script also discusses the use of 'upgraders' and 'downgraders' in feedback, and how different cultures, like the US and France, approach positive and negative feedback differently, affecting individuals' perceptions and reactions.

Takeaways

• 🌍 Cultural differences can lead to misunderstandings in a team setting, especially when giving feedback.
• 📝 The Dutch tend to value directness and honesty when providing feedback, which can be perceived as harsh by others.
• 🤔 The British may take feedback personally and emotionally, interpreting directness as a personal attack.
• 🔄 When roles are reversed, the British give feedback more indirectly, focusing on positive aspects before mentioning negatives.
• 📉 The Dutch, receiving indirect feedback, might not realize the severity of the criticism and make only minor changes.
• 🗣️ The use of 'upgraders' and 'downgraders' in communication varies by culture, affecting how feedback is given and received.
• 🇺🇸 In the U.S., a common practice is to balance negative feedback with positive comments to soften the impact.
• 🇫🇷 In France, positive feedback is less frequent and less strong, while negative feedback is more direct and frequent.
• 👶 Cultural feedback styles start influencing individuals from a young age, as seen in the differing educational approaches in the U.S. and France.
• 🧳 Being aware of one's own cultural position on communication scales can help in navigating cross-cultural feedback scenarios.
• 🔄 Individuals from cultures that are inconsistent in their communication styles on the scales can be particularly challenging to understand in a global team context.

Q & A

What was the Dutch colleague's initial reaction to the British person's report?

The Dutch colleague thought the report was horrible and had suggestions on how to improve the introduction, logic flow, and grammar.

How did the British person take the feedback from the Dutch colleague?

The British person took the feedback very emotionally and personally, feeling that the Dutch colleague was arrogant and didn't like him.

What was the British person's approach when giving feedback to the Dutch colleague on his report?

The British person gave positive feedback first, highlighting what he liked about the report before offering a few small suggestions for improvement.

How did the Dutch colleague perceive the feedback from the British person?

The Dutch colleague perceived the feedback as positive and made only minor changes before sending the report to the client.

What did the Dutch colleague learn later about the British person's opinion on his report?

The Dutch colleague later learned that the British person didn't actually like his report, which made him feel the British person was dishonest.

What is the concept of 'high context' and 'low context' cultures as mentioned in the script?

'High context' cultures communicate indirectly, often implying meaning, while 'low context' cultures are more direct and explicit in their communication.

How do 'high context' cultures typically give negative feedback?

In 'high context' cultures, negative feedback is often given using 'upgraders', which are words that intensify the negative message.

What is the American approach to giving negative feedback as described in the script?

Americans are taught to give three positives with every negative, a method known as 'positive anchoring', to show respect and catch people doing things right.

Who is Sabine and what happened to her?

Sabine is a character used in the script to illustrate the difference in feedback styles. Her American boss gave her positive feedback first, leading her to believe she had a great performance review, but she didn't listen to the actual negative feedback that followed.

How does the script describe the feedback style in French schools?

The script describes French schools as giving feedback that is more direct and less focused on building up the student with positive comments before providing criticism.

What cultural differences in feedback are highlighted by the experiences of the speaker's children in France and the US?

The speaker's children experienced a stark difference in feedback styles between French and American schools, with the former being more direct and critical, and the latter more positive and encouraging.