Meet Yourself: A User's Guide to Building Self-Esteem: Niko Everett at TEDxYouth@BommerCanyon

Summary

The speaker shares a personal journey of self-discovery and overcoming self-doubt, from struggling with body image and self-esteem issues to realizing the importance of embracing one's uniqueness. Through her work with young women, she develops exercises to improve self-esteem by focusing on positive thoughts and rejecting negative ones. The speaker emphasizes the power of surrounding oneself with supportive people, accepting compliments, and fostering a culture where people can feel good about themselves. She encourages listeners to write down things they admire about themselves and to help others do the same.

Takeaways

• 💄 Embrace your natural beauty: The speaker reflects on her younger self, covering up freckles with makeup due to insecurity, showing how societal standards can affect self-perception.
• 🤐 Struggles with shame: She hid the truth about her mother because of embarrassment, emphasizing the pressure to appear perfect even when dealing with difficult realities.
• 😔 Body image struggles: She describes an episode of forcing herself to vomit to achieve thinness, showcasing the harsh reality of societal pressure on physical appearance.
• 👭 A pivotal moment: The speaker’s friend, Julie, encourages her to 'meet herself,' which helps shift her perspective on self-worth and self-image.
• 💡 Self-esteem can be built: Through her work with young women, the speaker realizes that self-esteem can be created by controlling and changing personal thoughts.
• 🎤 Amplify the positives: She develops an exercise of turning up the volume on positive thoughts and deleting negative ones, which helps her and the girls change their self-perception.
• 💬 The power of compliments: Standing in the middle and accepting compliments with a simple 'thank you' becomes a transformative experience for the group, teaching the importance of acknowledging and embracing positive feedback.
• 📝 Rewriting the story: The speaker highlights the journey of rewriting her own narrative from shame and self-doubt to pride and confidence, showing that change is possible.
• 👥 Surround yourself with positivity: Spending time with people who uplift and support you, like Julie, can have a profound impact on self-worth.
• ✍️ Create a new culture: The speaker encourages everyone to start a new culture of self-acceptance by writing down things they admire about themselves and helping others see their own worth.

Q & A

What motivated the speaker to cover her freckles when she was 11 years old?

The speaker covered her freckles because she hated them and thought they were ugly.

Why did the speaker lie about her mother when she was 15 years old?

The speaker lied about her mother because she was ashamed that her mother was a waitress living in a tiny apartment and a recovering drug addict.

What behavior did the speaker exhibit at 17 years old, and why?

At 17 years old, the speaker forced herself to throw up everything she had eaten because she was desperate to be thin and trying hard to be perfect.

What realization did the speaker have when her friend Julie told her she needed to meet herself?

The speaker realized that she had a different and more positive image of herself, created by Julie, which made her want to rediscover and embrace that version of herself.

What was the speaker's job when she started working with young women, and what was ironic about it?

The speaker's job was to create a program to help young women increase their self-esteem, which was ironic because she had no self-esteem herself.

What exercise did the speaker create for the young women to improve their self-esteem?

The speaker created an exercise where they would turn up the volume on positive thoughts about themselves and press 'delete' on negative thoughts, helping them build more positive self-esteem.

How did the girls initially respond to the exercise of saying one thing they were proud of about themselves?

The girls struggled and couldn't say one single thing about themselves that they were proud of.

What rule did the speaker and the girls make regarding receiving compliments?

The rule was that when someone gave them a compliment, they would simply say 'Thank you,' to encourage accepting and internalizing positive feedback.

What positive changes did the speaker notice in the girls by the end of the year?

By the end of the year, the girls were walking taller, being kinder to themselves and each other, and showing increased self-esteem and confidence.

What are some steps the speaker suggests to feel good about ourselves?

The speaker suggests spending time with people who make us feel good, turning up the volume on positive thoughts, telling others what we like about them, and saying 'Thank you' when receiving compliments.