How to Speak Up — Even When You Don’t Want To | Sarah Crawford-Bohl | TED

Summary

In this powerful talk, the speaker reflects on the importance of speaking up, especially in difficult situations. Drawing from personal experience and research, they highlight how avoiding tough conversations can hinder both personal and professional growth. The speaker shares lessons learned from their mother, a strong role model, and the use of a moral compass to navigate challenging dialogues. With a focus on empathy, support, and curiosity, the speaker encourages embracing uncomfortable conversations as opportunities for positive change, ultimately advocating for stronger connections and better outcomes in both healthcare and life.

Takeaways

• 😀 Silence can be a moment of peace, but it can also act as a barrier to advocating for change or expressing truth.
• 😀 It's often easier said than done to speak up and advocate for yourself, especially in uncomfortable situations.
• 😀 Research shows that people sometimes prefer quitting their jobs to having difficult conversations, highlighting the importance of addressing tough issues.
• 😀 In healthcare, avoiding difficult conversations can impact both the quality of care and patient safety.
• 😀 Speaking up at work can lead to better job satisfaction, improved morale, and better patient outcomes in healthcare settings.
• 😀 Courageous conversations are a skill that improves with practice, much like physical exercise.
• 😀 Role models, especially influential figures like parents, can help guide us to speak up, even when it's uncomfortable.
• 😀 The speaker's mother served as a role model, demonstrating the importance of standing up for what's right, especially in difficult situations.
• 😀 Leaders, both formal and informal, play a key role in creating a safe environment for others to engage in difficult conversations.
• 😀 The speaker uses a moral compass (North, South, East, West) to guide them through tough conversations, with each direction symbolizing key values: integrity, support, empathy, and curiosity.
• 😀 Leaning into difficult conversations, even when it's uncomfortable, can lead to personal growth, better team collaboration, and advocacy for those who cannot speak for themselves.

Q & A

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of speaking up in difficult conversations?

The speaker emphasizes speaking up in difficult conversations because it is essential for personal growth, team performance, patient safety, and advocating for what is right. Not speaking up can hinder change, perpetuate issues, and affect job satisfaction.

What role does silence play in the context of the speaker’s message?

Silence is described as a double-edged sword: it can be a peaceful moment of reflection, but when it becomes a barrier, it prevents necessary conversations that could lead to advocacy, change, and resolution. The speaker stresses overcoming silence to address issues and advocate for others.

What is the significance of the speaker’s mom in the context of the message?

The speaker's mom serves as a role model who taught the value of speaking up, advocating for what’s right, and navigating difficult conversations. Her influence shaped the speaker's leadership style and approach to confronting tough issues with a moral compass.

How does the speaker define leadership in the context of difficult conversations?

Leadership is defined as both formal and informal roles where individuals help create a safe space for others to engage in courageous conversations. It involves guiding others through tough discussions, offering support, empathy, and wonder, and advocating for change.

What research findings are mentioned to highlight the importance of addressing difficult conversations?

The research from VitalSmarts highlights that many people would rather quit their jobs than face difficult situations. This suggests that avoiding tough conversations can have significant consequences, such as loss of talent and decreased morale.

What is the 'moral compass' the speaker refers to, and how does it help in difficult conversations?

The 'moral compass' is a set of values and principles taught by the speaker's mom that guide her through challenging situations. It includes concepts like doing what’s right (North), offering support (South), practicing empathy (East), and staying curious (West). These principles help navigate difficult conversations with confidence and integrity.

How does the speaker use the North-South-East-West compass metaphor in leadership?

The compass metaphor represents four core principles for handling tough conversations: North (doing what’s right), South (supporting others), East (empathy), and West (curiosity). These principles help the speaker stay grounded, make decisions aligned with their values, and foster a positive, open dialogue with others.

Can you explain the significance of the 'cheerleader' moment described by the speaker?

The 'cheerleader' moment occurs when a physician criticizes the speaker’s overly positive newsletter in front of colleagues. This moment challenges the speaker to either stay silent or address the issue. The speaker chooses to speak up, using their moral compass to guide the conversation, which eventually leads to a productive dialogue.

What does the speaker mean by 'leaning into uncomfortable conversations'?

Leaning into uncomfortable conversations refers to actively facing and engaging in difficult discussions instead of avoiding them. It’s about taking the initiative to speak up, address issues, and navigate conflict in a constructive way, which ultimately leads to personal and professional growth.

How does the speaker view their role as a healthcare leader in relation to difficult conversations?

As a healthcare leader, the speaker sees their role as facilitating safe, open, and respectful conversations. This involves advocating for transparency, supporting colleagues, and ensuring that necessary, difficult topics are addressed for the benefit of the team and patients.