Why Eric and Alexandra stopped seeing each other

Summary

In this emotional reflection, the speaker shares a personal account of the tensions that arose within their relationships and career, particularly with prominent figures in the chess community like Hikaru and ChessBay. The conflict stemmed from an ultimatum given to their partner, Alexandra, who was pressured to choose between maintaining collaborations with them or continuing her career growth under ChessBay's influence. The speaker reveals how this ultimatum created a significant rift, causing emotional turmoil and leaving both sides struggling to balance personal and professional pressures. Ultimately, the situation escalated, leading to a breakdown in their collaboration and relationship.

Takeaways

• 😀 Alexander was initially involved in collaborations with the speaker, including streams on YouTube, which were successful until May 2020.
• 😀 In May 2020, the speaker's channel became more popular, and conflicts arose due to external pressures from organizations like Pogchamps and Chess.com.
• 😀 The speaker reveals that Alexander was given an ultimatum by ChessBay, where they threatened to cut her off from all collaborations and support if she visited the speaker.
• 😀 The speaker feels emotionally hurt by Alexander's perceived lack of immediate support when pressured by ChessBay and Hikaru, causing a significant rift in their relationship.
• 😀 The tension escalated due to a conflict of priorities: Alexander was focused on growing her channel while the speaker was upset about the personal intrusion into their lives.
• 😀 The speaker believes ChessBay and Hikaru were leveraging their power through raids and viewership, making it difficult for individuals like Alexander to take a stand.
• 😀 The speaker struggled with emotional reactions, particularly anger, feeling that Alexander should have sided with him against the external pressures.
• 😀 Despite their disagreements, the speaker acknowledges that Alexander was trying to balance her career and personal life, but they couldn't align on how to handle the situation.
• 😀 The speaker states that the personal boundaries were crossed due to ChessBay's interference, which has continued to affect their relationship with Alexander.
• 😀 Although they haven't collaborated since, the speaker hints at beginning to reconnect with Alexander, though the underlying tension from the past remains unresolved.

Q & A

What was the main reason for the distancing between the speaker and Alexandra?

The main reason was a disagreement arising from Alexandra being given an ultimatum by chess-related figures, particularly Hikaru and ChessBay. They threatened to cut her off from significant opportunities like raids and collaborations if she continued her association with the speaker.

Why was Alexandra concerned about the ultimatum she received?

Alexandra was concerned because her channel was growing, and she was trying to balance her career and growth. The ultimatum placed her in a tough position where she had to choose between supporting the speaker or maintaining her professional opportunities.

How did the speaker react to Alexandra not immediately taking his side?

The speaker became very upset, feeling that it was obvious what the right choice was. He felt personally hurt by Alexandra's reluctance to confront the situation and defend him, leading to a strain in their relationship.

What role did ChessBay and Hikaru play in the conflict described?

ChessBay and Hikaru used their influence over raids, hosts, and collaborations to pressure Alexandra into making a difficult choice. Their power over these professional opportunities was a major factor in the conflict.

How did the speaker describe Alexandra's approach to confrontation?

The speaker described Alexandra as a non-confrontational person who was trying to find a middle ground, balancing her career and personal relationships. This led to a lack of alignment with the speaker’s more emotional reaction.

What emotional challenges did the speaker face during the situation?

The speaker struggled with anger and frustration, feeling that his personal life and relationships were being manipulated by external pressures. His emotional response made it difficult for him to see things from Alexandra's perspective.

What did the speaker feel about the way chess-related figures used their power?

The speaker felt that ChessBay and Hikaru were leveraging their power unethically, using their control over raids, viewership, and collaborations to exert pressure on individuals like Alexandra, which the speaker considered crossing personal boundaries.

How did the situation affect the speaker's professional and personal life?

The situation severely affected the speaker’s professional and personal life, causing stress and emotional turmoil. The pressure from chess-related figures and the disagreement with Alexandra led to a breakdown in communication and collaboration, as well as feelings of betrayal and isolation.

What did the speaker reflect on regarding their own actions during the conflict?

The speaker reflected that they were acting emotionally and didn’t fully understand or consider Alexandra’s position. While they were upset, they acknowledged that their strong reactions may have contributed to the breakdown in their relationship.

What does the speaker believe about the nature of the situation they faced?

The speaker believes the situation was extremely unjust and crossed personal lines, particularly because of the way chess-related figures used their influence to manipulate relationships and create professional dilemmas for individuals like Alexandra.