Tu or Vous? 5 Rules to Help You Choose

Comme une Française

24 Feb 201404:46

Summary

TLDRIn this episode of Comme une Française TV, Géraldine explores the tricky French etiquette of using 'tu' or 'vous' when addressing people. She explains that while there's no hard rule, 'vous' is generally used to show respect, especially with superiors, elders, or strangers, while 'tu' is for friends, peers, and informal situations. Géraldine offers practical guidelines, such as when to switch from 'vous' to 'tu' and what to do if you're unsure. The video encourages viewers to practice their French and share their experiences in the comment section.

Takeaways

😊 There’s no strict rule for choosing between 'tu' or 'vous', and even French people can be unsure.
👍 As a foreigner, people will be more forgiving if you use 'tu' instead of 'vous'.
🤔 When unsure, always default to using 'vous' to avoid being overly familiar.
🙇 'Vous' shows respect and should be used with superiors, older people, and strangers.
👥 'Tu' indicates familiarity and is used with friends, colleagues you know well, children, and teenagers.
💼 Use 'vous' in professional contexts with bosses, colleagues (initially), and formal situations.
🌟 Use 'tu' in casual settings, social events, and when someone invites you to do so.
😅 Transitioning from 'vous' to 'tu' can feel awkward, but it’s a normal part of the process.
🤝 If someone asks to switch to 'tu', always agree and switch immediately.
📈 Your French will only improve if you practice, so engage with others and share your experiences.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video?
-The main topic of the video is whether to use 'tu' or 'vous' when speaking to someone in French, and how to navigate the rules surrounding this choice.
What is the fundamental rule regarding the use of 'tu' and 'vous'?
-There is no strict rule for using 'tu' or 'vous.' Just like choosing whether to kiss or shake hands, even French people can feel uncertain or uncomfortable about which form to use in some situations.
What is the recommended approach if you’re unsure whether to use 'tu' or 'vous'?
-If you're unsure, it's better to use 'vous,' as it’s seen as more polite. Using 'vous' avoids sounding overly familiar.
In which situations should you use 'vous'?
-'Vous' should be used to show respect. It is appropriate to use 'vous' with your boss, colleagues, neighbors, people older than you (by 20 years or more), people you don’t know, your in-laws, and professionals like teachers, doctors, or officials.
When is it appropriate to use 'tu'?
-'Tu' is used to show familiarity. You should use it with your friends, partner’s friends, children, teenagers, colleagues you've known for a while, people who ask you to use 'tu,' and at networking events where everyone is more casual.
How do you transition from using 'vous' to 'tu'?
-The transition from 'vous' to 'tu' usually involves an awkward moment, but it's normal. The other person may ask, 'On se tutoie?' or 'Je peux te tutoyer?' If they ask, you should always say yes and switch to 'tu' right away.
What is the verb for using 'vous' in French?
-The verb for using 'vous' is 'vouvoyer.'
What is the verb for using 'tu' in French?
-The verb for using 'tu' is 'tutoyer.'
How should you respond if someone asks if they can use 'tu' with you?
-You should always say yes when someone asks if they can use 'tu' with you, and then immediately start using 'tu' in return.
How does the video encourage viewers to improve their French?
-The video encourages viewers to take action by using what they’ve learned in real life. It also suggests sharing experiences in the comment section to engage with others and learn more.

Outlines

00:00

👋 Introduction to French Politeness and Social Norms

The speaker, Géraldine, welcomes viewers to Comme une Française TV, a show about living in France and feeling at home. She introduces the topic of using 'tu' and 'vous' in French, which can be tricky. Géraldine poses various social scenarios, like meeting someone your age or talking to a colleague, to illustrate when to use 'tu' or 'vous'. She compares the decision to whether one should kiss or shake hands, emphasizing how it can cause confusion. The episode aims to provide clarity on this aspect of French etiquette.

🔑 No Set Rule for 'Tu' or 'Vous'

Géraldine starts by explaining that, unfortunately, there’s no strict rule when it comes to choosing between 'tu' or 'vous' in French interactions. Even native French speakers often feel unsure and uncomfortable about which form to use. She reassures viewers not to worry, especially since they are foreigners, and explains that people are usually forgiving. In many cases, people may even explicitly tell you which form to use.

✅ 'If in Doubt, Use Vous' Rule

Géraldine introduces a simple guideline: if you’re unsure, it’s always safer to use 'vous'. It’s better to sound too polite rather than too familiar in French culture, making 'vous' the default polite choice when uncertain.

🙇 When to Use 'Vous'

Géraldine breaks down the situations where 'vous' should be used. It is a form of respect, and the verb for using 'vous' is 'vouvoyer'. 'Vous' is appropriate for addressing bosses, colleagues, neighbors, people significantly older, strangers, in-laws, and professionals like doctors or lawyers. She also reminds viewers to conjugate verbs correctly when using 'vous'.

👫 When to Use 'Tu'

The verb for using 'tu' is 'tutoyer', and it’s meant to show familiarity. Géraldine explains that 'tu' is used with friends, your partner’s friends, children and teenagers, colleagues you’ve known for a while, or anyone who asks you to use it. She adds that in informal settings like networking events, 'tu' is often used right away to build a sense of community, just as she does with her audience.

🤝 Transitioning from 'Vous' to 'Tu'

Géraldine discusses how people typically start with 'vous' and then shift to 'tu' over time, except with figures of authority like doctors or bosses. This switch is often awkward, but it’s normal. The process usually begins with someone asking, 'On se tutoie?' or 'Je peux te tutoyer?' to suggest moving to 'tu'. Géraldine advises viewers to always say yes when asked and to switch immediately, assuring them that the first few sentences may feel odd, but it will soon feel natural.

📢 Engaging with the Comme une Française Community

Géraldine encourages viewers to practice what they’ve learned by using it in real-life conversations. She invites them to share their experiences in the comments section, asking whether they knew these rules before or if they’ve ever felt unsure about using 'tu' or 'vous'. She emphasizes the value of participating in discussions as a way to improve.

🎁 Exclusive Content from Comme une Française

Géraldine closes by offering viewers the chance to subscribe to her channel for exclusive content on real-life experiences in France. Subscribers will receive a free lesson on how to introduce themselves in French, along with weekly tips. She thanks her audience for watching and ends the episode with a friendly goodbye.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Tu

‘Tu’ is the informal pronoun for ‘you’ in French. It is used to address people in familiar or casual settings, such as friends, family, or people you are comfortable with. In the video, the speaker explains that ‘tu’ is used to show familiarity, and is appropriate when talking to children, teenagers, close colleagues, or friends.

💡Vous

‘Vous’ is the formal or plural form of ‘you’ in French, used to show respect or when addressing more than one person. It is often used in formal situations, such as when speaking to strangers, elders, or authority figures. The video emphasizes that when unsure, it’s safer to use ‘vous’ to avoid appearing too familiar.

💡Vouvoyer

‘Vouvoyer’ refers to the act of using ‘vous’ when speaking to someone. It is a way of showing respect or politeness, especially in formal or unfamiliar contexts. The speaker advises that ‘vouvoyer’ is typically used with superiors, such as a boss, or with people significantly older, like a neighbor or in-laws.

💡Tutoyer

‘Tutoyer’ means using ‘tu’ when speaking to someone, signifying familiarity or intimacy. In the video, the speaker notes that ‘tutoyer’ is common among friends, younger people, or at informal networking events. It can help create a sense of community and closeness.

💡Formality

Formality refers to the level of respect and distance conveyed through language. In French, choosing between ‘tu’ and ‘vous’ is a key aspect of maintaining formality or familiarity. The video highlights how ‘vous’ maintains formality while ‘tu’ is used in more casual or relaxed environments.

💡Respect

Respect in the context of the video refers to how language reflects social hierarchies or politeness, especially through the use of ‘vous’. It is important to use ‘vous’ when addressing people like teachers, doctors, or elders to show respect, as improper use of ‘tu’ could be seen as rude.

💡Switching from vous to tu

This transition can be awkward, as mentioned in the video, but it is normal over time. When relationships evolve from formal to more familiar, people may suggest switching to ‘tu’ by saying ‘On se tutoie?’ or ‘Je peux te tutoyer?’. The speaker advises always agreeing to this change when it’s proposed.

💡Politeness

Politeness is a recurring theme in the video, particularly in relation to choosing ‘vous’ over ‘tu’. The speaker advises that it’s better to be overly polite and use ‘vous’ than to risk being seen as disrespectful by using ‘tu’ too soon, especially in formal or unfamiliar situations.

💡Social cues

Social cues refer to the subtle signals in French culture that guide whether to use ‘tu’ or ‘vous’. The video explains how these cues are often unclear, and even French people struggle with them. Cues include the context, relationship with the person, and the setting, such as work or social events.

💡Networking events

Networking events are cited as a scenario where ‘tu’ is often used, even among people meeting for the first time. The speaker explains that at these events, using ‘tu’ can foster a sense of inclusion and community, and it is generally accepted as part of the informal atmosphere.

Highlights

Introduction to the complexities of choosing between 'tu' and 'vous' in French interactions.

The question of 'tu or vous' is similar to deciding whether to kiss or shake hands when greeting someone.

There is no definitive rule for choosing between 'tu' and 'vous', even French people struggle with this decision.

As a foreigner, you're given more leeway when using 'tu' instead of 'vous', and people might correct you if necessary.

'If you don’t know, use vous'—it’s better to be slightly too polite than overly familiar.

'Vous' shows respect and is used with authority figures, colleagues, people significantly older than you, and strangers.

The verb for using 'vous' is 'vouvoyer', and it’s commonly used with bosses, teachers, doctors, and officials.

'Tu' is for familiarity, used with friends, children, colleagues you know well, and at informal networking events.

The verb for using 'tu' is 'tutoyer', and it’s used to create a sense of inclusion and community.

Switching from 'vous' to 'tu' can be awkward, but it’s a normal part of building relationships.

Phrases to move from 'vous' to 'tu' include: 'On se tutoie?' and 'Je peux te tutoyer?'.

When someone asks to switch to 'tu', always say yes and start using 'tu' immediately.

Over time, it's common to transition from 'vous' to 'tu' unless with authority figures like doctors or your boss.

Engage with the material by practicing and sharing your experiences with 'tu' and 'vous' in the comments.

Encouragement to subscribe for exclusive content about real-life experiences in France and to improve your French.