Transmuting Pain into Art | Tiffany Dawn Hasse | TEDxMissionViejo
Summary
TLDREl guion de video ofrece una visión íntima y poética de la lucha con el trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo (TOC). A través de la poesía y el arte del desempeño, el narrador comparte su experiencia vivida, incluyendo la terapia y las tácticas para enfrentar pensamientos obsesivos. La narrativa destaca la transformación personal y la búsqueda de la verdad en medio de la incertidumbre, enfatizando la importancia de la autoaceptación y la conexión con el dolor como pasos hacia la sanación.
Takeaways
- 🎭 El script es una expresión artística y personal sobre la experiencia de vivir con el trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo (TOC).
- 🔄 El hablante describe su lucha diaria con pensamientos obsesivos que lo llevan a comportamientos compulsivos, como lavar las manos o reorganizar objetos.
- 🤔 El TOC se presenta con pensamientos que parecen tener lógica, pero que en realidad son irracionales y provocan ansiedad.
- 🏠 El hablante comparte situaciones cotidianas que desencadenan sus pensamientos obsesivos, como pasar por el horno o usar un retrete público.
- 🐀 El miedo a las ratas y la ansiedad por objetos que se asemejan a ratas, como un cable USB, son ejemplos de pensamientos obsesivos específicos.
- 📚 El hablante menciona haber trabajado con médicos de alto nivel y haber seguido tratamientos convencionales sin obtener alivio completo.
- 🧘 La terapia de exposición y prevención de respuestas (ERP) es una técnica utilizada para tratar el TOC, que implica exponerse a las situaciones que provocan ansiedad sin realizar las acciones compulsivas.
- 🍫 Un ejemplo de tarea terapéutica mencionado es la de poner chocolate sobre las piernas y aceptar la incertidumbre del resultado.
- 📝 El hablante descubre que la poesía y el arte de performance pueden ser formas terapéuticas para canalizar su dolor y ansiedad.
- 🌟 La experiencia de dolor y ansiedad ha sido un catalizador para el crecimiento personal y la búsqueda de nuevas formas de sanación.
- 💬 El script enfatiza la importancia de la identificación y el entendimiento del dolor como un paso hacia la curación y la transformación personal.
Q & A
¿Qué es el trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo (TOC) según la descripción del guion?
-El TOC es un trastorno psicológico que causa una constante batalla interna, con pensamientos obsesivos que provocan la necesidad de realizar acciones compulsivas para aliviar la ansiedad, como la limpieza excesiva, la organización extrema y la lavado de manos.
¿Cómo describe el guionista su experiencia personal con el TOC?
-El guionista describe su experiencia con el TOC como una lucha constante con sus pensamientos, donde incluso tareas cotidianas se convierten en una fuente de ansiedad y obsesión, y se ve obligado a realizar rituales para calmar sus pensamientos.
¿Qué tipo de terapia se utilizó para tratar el TOC del guionista?
-El guionista recibió terapia de exposición y prevención de respuesta, en la que fue expuesto a sus pensamientos obsesivos para aprender a habituarse a la ansiedad y a las sensaciones incómodas asociadas.
¿Cómo se sintió el guionista durante su proceso terapéutico?
-El guionista se sintió frustrado al notar que, a pesar de recibir tratamiento de los mejores médicos y realizar terapia cognitivo-conductual, encontró poco alivio y decidió expresar sus emociones a través de la poesía.
¿Qué papel desempeñó la poesía en el proceso de sanación del guionista?
-La poesía y el arte del performance ayudaron al guionista a canalizar su dolor y a encontrar una nueva forma de sanación, transformando su sufrimiento en una expresión artística.
¿Qué esfuerzos hizo el guionista para superar su TOC?
-El guionista hizo múltiples intentos de superar su TOC, incluyendo tomar medicamentos, recibir terapia y trabajar con médicos líderes en el campo, antes de encontrar alivio a través de la poesía.
¿Cómo se relaciona el guionista con su propia mente y sus pensamientos durante el TOC?
-El guionista describe una relación conflictiva con su mente, donde se siente como si estuviera en un argumento constante consigo mismo y su mente juega el papel del 'Diablo's Abogado', cuestionando constantemente sus acciones y decisiones.
¿Qué estrategias utiliza el guionista para lidiar con sus pensamientos obsesivos?
-El guionista utiliza la repetición de palabras y frases como un ritual para calmar su mente, y más tarde descubre que la poesía y el estudio del sonido de las palabras pueden ayudar a disipar sus pensamientos obsesivos.
¿Cómo describe el guionista el impacto del TOC en su vida diaria y relaciones personales?
-El TOC ha tenido un impacto significativo en la vida del guionista, causando retrasos, la pérdida de empleo y la renuncia a la universidad, y dificultando su capacidad para mantener relaciones personales saludables.
¿Qué mensaje finaliza el guionista con en su guion?
-El guionista finaliza con un mensaje de esperanza y empoderamiento, alentando a los oyentes a conectar con su propio dolor y encontrar sanación, y a reconocer que el dolor en sí mismo puede ser un catalizador para el crecimiento y la transformación.
Outlines
🎭 Vida con TDAH y la poesía como escape
El primer párrafo presenta al narrador como alguien con TDAH (Trastorno por Déficit de Atención con Hiperactividad) que utiliza la poesía para expresar sus luchas y lecciones de vida. Describe la naturaleza cíclica y constante de sus pensamientos y cómo la poesía le permite canalizar su creatividad y su lucha contra la compulsión de orden y limpieza asociada a su condición. El narrador también introduce la idea de la terapia de exposición y prevención de respuesta, destacando su experiencia con la fobias y pensamientos obsesivos.
😨 La realidad del Trastorno Obsesivo Compulsivo
En el segundo párrafo, el narrador profundiza en su experiencia con el Trastorno Obsesivo Compulsivo (TOC), describiendo las sensaciones de ansiedad y la necesidad de realizar rituales para aliviar sus pensamientos obsesivos. Detalla su proceso terapéutico, incluyendo la terapia de exposición y prevención de respuesta, y cómo la terapia le ayudó a enfrentar sus miedos, como la fobia a las ratas y pensamientos absurdos relacionados con el chocolate. El narrador también expresa la frustración y el impacto del TOC en su vida diaria, incluyendo la dificultad para asistir a la universidad y mantener un trabajo debido a sus compulsiones.
🌟 La transformación del dolor en arte
El tercer párrafo relata cómo el narrador encontró alivio y un sentido de empoderamiento a través de la poesía y el arte. A pesar de haber buscado ayuda médica y terapéutica, el narrador descubrió que la escritura poética le proporcionaba un escape efectivo para sus pensamientos obsesivos. Describe cómo la poesía le ayudó a transmutar su dolor en algo hermoso y terapéutico, y cómo su enfoque en la poesía y el arte le permitió encontrar una nueva forma de sanación y autoexpresión.
🤯 La lucha interna y la búsqueda de la verdad
En el último párrafo, el narrador reflexiona sobre su lucha interna y la búsqueda de la verdad y la libertad. Explica cómo la poesía le permite desentrañar sus pensamientos y enfrentar su mente, que a menudo se siente como un enemigo. El narrador también hace una llamada a la acción para que los oyentes reconozcan y conecten con su propio dolor, con la esperanza de que puedan encontrar sanación a través de la autocomprensión y la aceptación de la incertidumbre de la vida.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Obsesivo Compulsivo
💡Poesía
💡Hipnosis
💡Catarsis
💡Pain
💡Transformación
💡Autoexpresión
💡Ansiedad
💡Terapeute
💡Identidad
💡Catarsis
Highlights
The speaker uses a poetic and metaphorical language to describe their experiences with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
The concept of 'syncopate lifelong lessons' suggests a rhythmic and patterned approach to understanding the complexities of OCD.
The speaker's vivid imagery of 'hexagons and platypus eclectic selective concepts' illustrates the disordered thinking associated with OCD.
A detailed account of the daily struggles with OCD, including the constant internal dialogue and the feeling of being in an argument with oneself.
The use of 'The Devil's Advocate' as a metaphor for the intrusive thoughts that characterize OCD.
A personal anecdote about the fear of a rat's tail, highlighting the irrational fears that can be associated with OCD.
The description of the therapy process, including exposure and response prevention therapy, and its role in managing OCD.
The unique therapy assignment of pouring chocolate on the thighs to confront irrational fears head-on.
The speaker's realization that OCD thoughts can be bizarre and unrelated, yet still cause significant distress.
The impact of OCD on the speaker's life, including the challenges of explaining the disorder to others and the social consequences.
The speaker's decision to use poetry and performance art as a form of self-expression and healing from OCD.
The transformative power of pain and the speaker's journey from suffering to finding a creative outlet for their experiences.
The importance of being open to different solutions and the speaker's encouragement to others to find their own path to healing.
A final poem that encapsulates the speaker's ongoing struggle with OCD and their hope for a better understanding and acceptance.
The speaker's reflection on the unpredictability of OCD and the constant search for certainty in an uncertain world.
The metaphor of 'walking tiptoe in the squalor' to describe the precariousness of living with OCD.
The final lines of the poem, which pose a question to a higher power about the nature of life and the role of free will.
Transcripts
[Music]
I'm cinematically SLE and insinuate my
truth
within so I syllabify my past Endeavors
just to syncopate these lifelong lessons
lingering Lucid a verbiage tree derived
in me where poems began
to percolate so recklessly dropped out
this spout so subjectively hexagons and
platypus eclectic selective Concepts
that may appear as reciprocals sounds
like esoteric cryptic pools of
whirlwinds and tail spins and gadgets
and gizmos of
Plenty you want thing a
Bobs I got 20,000 ideas right now I'd be
a lot SA is a face painted clown clown
clown as a face painted
clown and good old mother nature allows
me to sip this coffee ethically Source
nurture grounded in the earth parched
but perch so I can finally rest my legs
disperse these words that leak as
perspired watercolor droplets speak in
different demeanors of DEC that
hypocrates may have subscribed to with
his medicinal care package of anecdotal
earned Class Act half apple cider half
metaphysical propt is long lasting
visceral
inward unlearned
knowledge so pay
attention because now I'm going to begin
what I really want to
say I am not my
mind and my
body is only an arbitrary design
inclined to lead me to deceitfully
believe that it too is
me when things thinking about the topic
of obsessive compulsive disorder I want
you to think about the thoughts that
come to your
mind handwashing
perhaps color coding your
hangers extensive
cleaning an over organized in well-kept
room you know most days I can't even
begin to describe what it's actually
like living with obsessive compulsive
disorder imagine a mind that if you say
left well then it says
right I constantly feel like I'm in an
argument with
myself it's like I'm putting my car in
drive but I'm going in
reverse see my mind loves to play The
Devil's Advocate and its favorite
question in the world is what
if when I'm in my house and I pass by
the stove I worry what if I carelessly
forgot to turn off the the stove I would
hate to be responsible for burning down
my
apartment when I go to get dressed I'm
about to zip up my pants but see my
zipper gets
stuck and I worry it doesn't feel right
could something bad happen to my
mom I'm at the mall and I have to use
the public restroom and I am disgusted
with the fact that there are pee drops
on the toilet
seat the first thing that I tell myself
is is you're in sterile I repeat is
urine sterile cuz see my mind is telling
me that if I'm in close proximity to
someone else's urine then I'm going to
get a
disease typing up a paper for school and
in my peripheral vision I noticed the
computer USB cord I instantaneously jump
out of my seat was that a rat
tail so let me just tell you guys real
quick that I have this huge like phobia
of rats and mice so for me a computer
cord is a rat tail close enough so in
order to be okay I have to remove the
cord from its socket multiple times and
repeat cord cord cord cord cord hoping
that my brain will accept what it
sees I remember this time I was 8 years
old and my dad went to kiss me goodbye
for school wishing me a lovely day and
that day he had like a two-day Scruff
like he didn't shave and his facial hair
touched my soft eight-year-old skin and
the first thing my eight-year-old mind
told me was what if my dad's facial
Scruff transferred onto my cheek and
imputed hair growth in my
skin crippled by the fact that I could
have a beard as an
8-year-old I continued to scrutinize my
face in the
mirror nearly a decade later I entered
an obsessive compulsive outpatient
program working with some of the top
doctors in the nation who had
specifically studied the nature of OCD
and they told me that I had to do
exposure and response prevention therapy
and what this essentially meant was that
I needed to be exposed to my bizarre
obsessive thoughts so here's an example
I have this rat phobia so maybe at some
point in my therapy there would be a rat
in a cage in a cage and I would come
closer to it and the idea was that I
would learn to habituate to this anxiety
and this uncomfortable sensation okay
you get the idea so um
basically even though my OCD is not
limited to any one particular
theme at that time one particular theme
that continued to cycle through my mind
was whether or not chocolate if poured
on my
thighs could seep through the epidermal
layers of my skin and make my thighs
bigger now as embarrassing as that sound
sounds can you guys guess what my
therapy assignment was yes it was
literally to buy a bottle of Hershey's
chocolate quite literally pour it on my
thighs in therapy rub it in and sit with
a doubt and uncertainty of not knowing
what was going to
happen these are thoughts that flood my
mind upon
Awakening half the time I know that my
heart doesn't care about these thoughts
but my brain does when I was first
diagnosed with obsessive impulsive
disorder I told a therapist who by the
way had studied at Harvard that I
couldn't possibly have OCD from the
stigma that I understood OCD is for
people that clean organize and wash
their hands so naturally I thought I
didn't have this my thoughts were racing
incessant and caused Great physical and
mental discomfort to me and not only
that my thoughts were not limited to any
one particular theme but rather anything
and everything could somehow trigger my
brain and be come
OCD so my thoughts were so bizarre that
if my OCD demanded that I lick a
doorknob 28 times so that nothing bad
would happen to my family well then
guess who was stuck licking the door
knob knowledge got me nowhere just a
more active mind to
possibility blinking ticking tapping
sounding Out My te so that my brain felt
assuaged repeating sentences repeating
sentences repeating sentences a humbling
disorder
I could hardly swallow my own saliva
without fear of something horrific
taking
place whether my thoughts are the result
of a neurological malfunction or an
active imagination is irrelevant to the
fact that I am still stuck in the pain
of the way these thoughts hit my
brain I dropped out of college
twice medical
leave well how do you explain to your
professor your boss your family and your
friends that you are unable to commit to
a punctual time frame due to checking
rechecking and well checking
again sorry I was late I had to jump up
and down 19 times in a very specific
manner to prevent figments of my
imagination from coming into
fruition over time I realized that the
actual reason as to why I'm late for
things held no validity and that I was
better off telling you that my dog ate
my homework and that's why I couldn't
make it to your wedding than I was
telling you that I had lick a doorknob
28
times the thing with OCD that I think
often goes
unexplained is that if there is a 99%
chance that my perceived obsessive fear
can't happen and a 1% chance that it
might happen well that 1% weighs
everything in my OCD
brain so it's going to debilitate me to
the point where I will be spending 15 to
18 hours a a day trying to find answers
with 100%
certainty If this means that I'm going
to be late for work that I'm going to
lose my job that I'm going to drop out
of college twice that I won't be able to
hang out with my family for the holidays
and this is the grip that this disorder
has on
me I often describe myself to people as
a coaxed puppet on call at any time for
the demands of
OCD seeking certainty in a world that
exists in complete uncertainty forced me
to search for the
truth especially since I was having
physiological effects brain palpitations
and I felt as if I could feel the
phenology of my brain sweating on the
inside as it Panic to metabolize
thoughts so often I feel violated and
threatened by my own mind and unable to
explain to people why I can't move on
and just let the thought
go it's it's a feeling of complete and
utter
powerlessness and it is so contrasting
to my deepest desires of being an
empowered and self-actualized
individual a discovery that has changed
my life and I hope that you will share
with others you meet along the way who
may be suffering in silence is
this just because pain doesn't feel good
doesn't mean it doesn't have value
I know that all of you in this room can
identify with pain cuz we all know what
physical and emotional pain look like
the pain and the humiliation that this
disorder has caused
me has been the Catalyst of my growth
today pain has been so gripping and
threatening to my life that it has
literally ignited a fire in me to write
out my
story let me remind you I'm a person
that was working with the top doctors I
was taking medication for over a decade
and I was doing extensive cognitive
behavioral therapy and still finding
very little
relief so frustrated I decided to jot
down my emotions onto paper and I
couldn't help but
notice that my little tiny dabblings
looked like a poetic rhythmic
flow inspired by the Cadence of the way
words poured out of me I began to study
the ways in which words sounded and
interacted
together my use of Sy tax sentence
layout and phonetics literally helped
dissipate my
OCD it was at that point that I realized
that I had to take my pain and transmute
it or essentially change it into a new
form of healing and for me this has
happened to come in the form of poetry
and performance
art and I want to say that just because
multiple attempts at trying to heal
haven't been successful for you maybe
you've tried other methods to does not
mean that there are not infinite
ulterior Solutions out there for you and
my suggestion is to just be
open you know pain gets a really bad
reputation but pain has been Monumental
in my discovery of self and healing and
pain has allowed me to find
beauty in very dark
spaces
today I take the things that scare me
and I play with these thoughts I tongue
dance with words and I share my story
with you right now in hopes that you too
will identify and connect with the pain
inside of you so that you can find
Healing get to know this pain learn
about this pain this is a part of you
this is transformative you can change
it I'm going to leave you with the final
poem the other night I was feeling kind
of anxious
so I decided to have a cup of
coffee and lately I've noticed that when
my anxiety hits inside my solar plexus
sits a hidden fear no time for Bliss an
enimal fix Sublime
dismiss a dyspeptic itch of Doubt
persists gets me every time tired of
being a puppet mime it always shows up
when I'm not quite align so like a
butler I wait at its beckon call no fate
nor Faith heart
palpitates a Savage thinking A lot's at
stake that's like ball and chain I don't
stake my claim slavery hits and I'm
taking all the shame collecting all the
pain unsound not
sane admit me Mom 5150 me some such
malice makes me sick still stone stuck
and Ill betwix the thrill of safety and
uncertainty such Insidious Insanity a
Purgatory Memoir not complaining but
explaining my War obsessive and
compulsive tumultuous brain lock lies
that are fictitious and this ain't some
dumb cheap pul
fiction or a poem about repeated
cleaning and
handwashing it's superstitious vicious
entirely sick like mischief and I'm
walking tip talking tick toxs and into
the squalor and you're bound to get a
haircut you hang by the barber parlor or
get your lips wet when you're about to
kiss and Peck or get burned quick if you
ever play with fire and I wonder when
I'll ever come too I keep coming in and
out of riddle trying to see my way
through and if I sing me a song I seem
to feel more in tune you know poetry
helps to assuage all the
Gloom I don't need beats with my Pros
because I rock it a
capella but I still
wonder when I'll ever come to
and surrender to the uncertainty of this
black and white
hypocrisy it's murky water for sure this
ain't dreams and folklore no board game
and a winner with a top
score more like some Sodom and gomorra
Barbarian uproar but it's all in my head
see my brain emits this ego distonic
stint where well I get stuck on
thoughts and can't quite seem to quit
that's like a Sonet wrapped in some
hieroglyphic myth I translate in phonics
while I write when I spit and most of
it's rigmarole and makes little sense
but I'm innocent I
swear innocent in this
sense but I'm doing the same
thing expecting a different
result some coin this Insanity I keep
claiming hope and if a woodchuck could
chuck and woodchuck would why do I keep
praying yet chopping no wood in
God I don't want to insinuate some
perfidious mistake don't get it twisted
it's not that I don't love you or think
you can't free me believe you me I'mma
leave you
this I don't doubt your capabilities are
omnipotent even with these fumes that
wkak most potently but more importantly
I guess it's silly for me to think that
I'd be free my way on my time the way
I'd like to
see so here I go again now back on my
knees slapstick humor and a mouth full
of
please a
Garden of
Eden not a garden I eat in no gluttony
no greed no apple no Eve this time you
lead and I'll button my beak even though
I'd like to see what's actually
foreseen God I have a question
question just a humble
request I got paper and a pen and a
headful of mess a mindful of thoughts
but not blind to your test if you gave
me
life then who writes the
rest thank you
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