Why You Shouldn't Settle For Average Women As A Man
Summary
TLDRIn diesem Gespräch geht es um die Herausforderungen nach einer Trennung und die Suche nach einer 'höheren Qualität' von Partnerinnen. Der Gesprächsteilnehmer aus Nashville, 28 Jahre alt, reflektiert über seine bisherigen Beziehungen und erkennt, dass er sich verbessern muss, sowohl äußerlich als auch im Umgang mit Frauen. Er diskutiert auch die Bedeutung von Selbstbeherrschung und emotionaler Intelligenz, um die Anziehungskraft gegenüber 'A-Spielerinnen' zu erhöhen und langfristig erfolgreiche Beziehungen zu führen.
Takeaways
- 💔 Der Protagonist hat vor etwa drei bis vier Monaten eine schwere Trennung erlebt und möchte nun nach besseren Beziehungen suchen.
- 🚀 Er möchte die Qualität der Frauen, mit denen er sich auseinandersetzt, erhöhen und hat erkannt, dass er sich mehr einbringen muss, um das zu erreichen.
- 📍 Er lebt in Nashville, ist 28 Jahre alt und hat Bedenken, dass er zuwenig auf sein Äußeres und seinen Stil achtet.
- 🤔 Er reflektiert über die Art und Weise, wie Frauen ihn ansprechen und wie er seine Beziehungen zu ihnen einstellt.
- 🔄 Er hat erkannt, dass die frühen Zeichen einer Beziehung, wie die leichte Verfügbarkeit, oft auf eine niedrigere Qualität hindeuten können.
- 👔 Er ist sich bewusst, dass sein äußeres Erscheinungsbild und sein Stil verbessert werden könnten, um mehr Erfolg zu haben.
- 🤳 Er hat einen moderaten Einfluss im Bereich Immobilien und eine solide Präsenz in den sozialen Medien.
- 🔍 Er hat Schwierigkeiten, die Qualität der Frauen zu beurteilen, die er trifft, und erkennt, dass er möglicherweise seine inneren Eigenschaften verbessern muss.
- 🛑 Er hat ein Problem, Beziehungen zu behalten, insbesondere mit Frauen, die er als attraktiver ansieht.
- 🚶♂️ Er hat eine Tendenz, selbstzentriert zu sein und weniger Zeit auf die Interaktion mit Frauen zu verwenden.
- 🚫 Er hat eine Neigung, zu kontrollieren und zu dominieren, was in Beziehungen zu Problemen führen kann.
Q & A
Was ist das Hauptproblem des Gesprächspartners?
-Das Hauptproblem ist, dass er nach einer harten Trennung festgestellt hat, dass er die Qualität der Frauen, mit denen er sich auseinandersetzt, verbessern muss, und er möchte sich selbst verbessern, um eine bessere Beziehung zu haben.
Woher stammt der Gesprächsteilnehmer?
-Der Gesprächsteilnehmer kommt aus Nashville.
Wie alt ist der Gesprächsteilnehmer?
-Der Gesprächsteilnehmer ist 28 Jahre alt.
Wo trifft sich der Gesprächsteilnehmer normalerweise auf Frauen?
-Er trifft sich auf Frauen in verschiedenen Einrichtungen wie dem Supermarkt, im Fitnessstudio und in der Innenstadt Nashville.
Was sind die frühen Anzeichen für den Gesprächsteilnehmer, dass die Frauen, die er kennt, nicht die bestmögliche Wahl sind?
-Eines der frühen Anzeichen ist, wie einfach diese Frauen zu bekommen sind, was normalerweise kein gutes Zeichen ist.
Was ist der Meinung des Gesprächsteilnehmers über das Aussehen und die Kleidung?
-Er glaubt, dass er einige Verbesserungen in Bezug auf sein Äußeres und seine Kleidung vornehmen könnte, um einen besseren Eindruck zu hinterlassen.
Wie oft kommt es vor, dass der Gesprächsteilnehmer Frauen mit einer Bewertung von acht oder mehr trifft?
-Er schätzt, dass von fünf Frauen, die er auf ein Date einlädt, möglicherweise eine oder zwei eine Bewertung von acht oder mehr haben, während die anderen darunter liegen.
Was ist der Meinung des Gesprächsteilnehmers über seine eigene sexuelle Marktbewertung?
-Er glaubt, dass er die Fähigkeit hat, mindestens neun zu sein, was seine sexuelle Marktbewertung betrifft.
Was ist das Hauptproblem des Gesprächsteilnehmers in Bezug auf die Interaktion mit Frauen?
-Das Hauptproblem ist, dass er sich nicht selbst verbessert und seine Grenzen nicht setzt, was zu einer mangelnden Respekt bei Frauen führt, die er als hochwertig erachtet.
Was ist die Meinung des Gesprächsteilnehmers über seine Fähigkeit, Frauen zu treffen?
-Er glaubt, dass er in der Lage ist, Frauen zu treffen, aber er hat Schwierigkeiten, sie langfristig zu behalten und ihre Respekt zu erhalten.
Was hat der Gesprächsteilnehmer aus früheren Beziehungen gelernt?
-Er hat gelernt, dass er möglicherweise zu kontrollierend ist und dass er seine Charakterfehler beheben muss, um eine erfolgreiche Beziehung zu haben.
Wie plant der Gesprächsteilnehmer, seine Beziehungen zu verbessern?
-Er plant, sich sowohl extern als auch intern zu verbessern, indem er seine Erscheinung und Modeverbesserungen plant und gleichzeitig seine Charakterfehler behebt.
Was ist die Meinung des Gesprächsteilnehmers über seine Interaktion mit einer bestimmten Frau?
-Er glaubt, dass er zu schnell in die Beziehung eingestiegen ist und dass er seine Grenzen nicht setzt, was zu einer Verlust der Respekt bei der Frau führt.
Was ist das Hauptfazit des Gesprächsteilnehmers aus den Diskussionen?
-Das Hauptfazit ist, dass er aufhören muss, zu kontrollieren und Frauen in sein Rahmen zu zwingen, sondern sie muss lediglich führen, bevor sie sich vollständig ihm unterwerfen kann.
Outlines
😔 Probleme nach einer Trennung
Der Sprecher reflektiert über seine Erfahrungen nach einer harten Trennung vor drei bis vier Monaten. Er erkennt, dass er eine schlechte Gewohnheit entwickelt hat, die Frauen zu akzeptieren, die ihn ansprechen, ohne dabei wählerisch zu sein. Dies hat zu schlechten Beziehungen geführt. Er möchte sich verbessern, indem er sich selbst stärker bewirbt und nach Frauen sucht, die eine höhere Qualität haben. Er lebt in Nashville, ist 28 Jahre alt und trifft sich mit Frauen in verschiedenen Einkaufs- und Freizeitumgebungen, wobei einige Begegnungen in der Innenstadt stattfinden, die er als weniger geeignete Partnerinnenquellen ansieht.
🤔 Selbstreflexion und ästhetische Verbesserungen
Der Sprecher und sein Gesprächspartner diskutieren, wie einfache Erreichbarkeit von Frauen oft ein negatives Zeichen ist und dass jedermann anscheinend 'einfach' ist, wenn er die richtige Person findet. Der Sprecher ist sich nicht sicher, ob er seine äußere Erscheinung optimieren sollte, da er natürlich gute Aussehensmerkmale hat, die ihm erlauben, sich in weniger ansprechender Kleidung gut zu stellen. Er und sein Gesprächspartner kommen zu dem Schluss, dass er sowohl seine äußere Erscheinung als auch seinen sozialen Status verbessern könnte, um die Chancen auf eine Beziehung mit einer 'höheren Qualität' zu erhöhen.
😠 Interne Faktoren und Beziehungsprobleme
Der Sprecher erkennt, dass er möglicherweise einige interne Faktoren bearbeiten muss, die seine Beziehungen beeinträchtigen. Er hat das Gefühl, zu dominant zu sein und hat von Frauen, mit denen er Beziehungen hatte, ähnliche Feedback erhalten. Er reflektiert über seine Kindheit und die möglichen Auswirkungen seines kontrollierenden Vaters auf sein Verhalten. Er und sein Gesprächspartner diskutieren, wie man trotz der Notwendigkeit, Grenzen zu setzen, nicht als kontrollierend oder toxisch wahrgenommen werden sollte und wie man seine sexuelle Marktwert steigern kann, um mehr 'Wiggle Room' für Selbstbehauptung zu haben.
🤯 Missverständnisse in der Beziehungsführung
Der Sprecher und sein Gesprächspartner besprechen, wie man Frauen, die man attrahiert, nicht zwingen sollte, in einen eigenen Rahmen zu passen. Sie erläutern, dass Frauen nicht gemocht werden, wenn sie das Gefühl haben, dass sie in einen Rahmen gedrängt werden, und dass dies zu Missverständnissen und Rückzugstendenzen führen kann. Der Sprecher erkennt, dass er möglicherweise versucht, Beziehungen zu erzwingen, anstatt sie natürlich zu gestalten. Er und sein Gesprächspartner kommen zu dem Schluss, dass es wichtig ist, Frauen führen zu lassen, bevor man von ihnen erwartet, in einen bestimmten Rahmen zu passen.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Verliebtheit
💡Beziehungstier
💡Selbstmitleid
💡Aussehen
💡Status
💡Charakterfehler
💡Selbstbehauptung
💡Sexuelle Marktwert
💡Führungsstärke
💡Selbstkontrolle
Highlights
The individual experienced a breakup and is seeking advice on improving dating habits.
The person realized the need to 'upgrade' the quality of women they date after a series of bad relationships.
Lack of initiative in seeking relationships and settling for what comes naturally is identified as a problem.
The individual lives in Nashville and is 28 years old.
Meeting women in organic settings such as grocery stores and gyms is common, but not always fruitful.
The person acknowledges the need to improve their appearance and fashion sense.
A discussion on the misconception that 'every girl is easy' if she finds you attractive.
The individual's social media presence is tied to their real estate career, with over 8,000 followers.
Internal character flaws are suspected to be the cause of failed relationships with 'A-list' women.
The person has a history of being overly assertive and possibly controlling in relationships.
Childhood experiences with a controlling father may have influenced current behavior in relationships.
The importance of not being controlling while still maintaining boundaries in relationships is discussed.
The person is advised to work on both external appearance and internal character traits.
A strategy of delaying physical intimacy to seek a deeper connection is critiqued as counterproductive.
The individual's approach to relationships is seen as forcing interactions rather than allowing natural progression.
The conversation concludes with the person understanding the need to lead naturally rather than forcing outcomes.
Transcripts
what's good man what's happening Brother
what you got for me G all right man so I
went through a pretty rough
breakup about three four months ago now
and I think I just kind of came to the
determination after talking to you know
friends and family was man I gotta
upgrade the tier of women that I'm
dating you know I kind of got in this
bad habit of
allowing the women that approach me
which AR always you know probably in my
league I would say uh just to put it in
the best way uh I've gotten a little
lazy with that approach just kind of
taking what comes to me and and it's
kind of led to a couple bad
relationships along the way man it's
just I think the problem is I need to
start kind of putting myself out there a
little more and um trying to meet women
I think that are of higher quality
better tier okay so where are you living
Nashville all how old are you 28 so
these girls that are approaching you
that you're settling for where are they
approaching you at mostly organic
settings so I mean I mean it could be
the one was in the grocery store one was
while I was at the
gym uh a couple down Broadway you're
gonna have that on the weekends so it's
it's been a mix of places but uh a good
I'm not gonna lie there's been a good
portion of them that are down town which
is not the best pool to
be yeah right so you're relying on girls
approaching you downtown and then what
what ends up happening that you realize
that These Girls Aren't good
quality
H there's a lot of early signs I mean
one how easy they are to get off the bat
which is usually not a good sign for me
I obviously you know things worth having
are usually a little bit more of a fight
or there's usually some kind of uh dance
between the two of you right some kind
of mystery she creates a lot of these
girls have just been too easy um they
just kind of give it over and let me let
me let me stop you right there I think
this is a mistake that a lot of guys
make yeah every girl is
easy it's just the level of where she
thinks you are yeah don't get that
confused guys some of you y' you will
sit up here and be dealing with a girl
that is purposely making your life
harder because she doesn't think your
sexual market value is that high or
she's playing a game and you you now
confusing that as her being high quality
no no no no every girl is easy if she
sees you as a nine at 10 so that
shouldn't be your only metric yeah for
judging if a girl is high quality keep
going yeah well and I'm sure there's
probably some aspects of me that I could
improve on the outside aesthetically
that would put me on the higher end of
what I could be looking like right I
don't yeah I don't necessarily walk
around I don't have a high sense of
fashion all right I kind of just I put
on whatever I put on and I kind of get
away with that being that I naturally
have some better looking features that
you know so I get away with wearing
lesser than desirable clothes and stuff
like that but
um there's probably some some
improvements I could make there um okay
so okay let me ask you how often are you
getting with girls who you consider as
eights and
above gotta think about that hang on I
got I wantan I want to come with with an
accurate answer so that I don't want to
just [ __ ] you so the let's just say
for
every for every five girls I would take
on a
date it might be one or two the rest are
kind of just below that they're solid
six maybe a seven
um hey you wna get it you want to get it
to more what like five out of
five for me I I think I've got what it
takes to be nines at
least okay so you you got you got what
it takes to get
nines yeah okay in
my okay so in in order for you to get
that high quality girl she has to see
you as being a nine of 10 or even more
so if if you're just kind of like oh I'm
gonna get whatever I can get mentality
I'm not GNA maximize who I am as a man
maximize my looks maximize my fashion
maximize my status you're not getting
that nine yeah because the guys that the
you as much as you want her the guys who
are nines and tens want her as
well do you have any
status uh in the real estate scene here
I do okay but social
media social media uh I've got a pretty
decent I mean a little over 8,000 um
okay so and it mainly all through real
estate um but nothing nothing phenomenal
um
not there's been a couple of them they
were a players there's been a couple
along the way
um but I think that some of the you know
they they they they fell for what they
seen and then they kind of met I think
there was some flaws on the inside and
I'm the guy that that you uh that you
kind of that you talked about the other
day about that had the issues with you
know questions about what kind of work
we can do on the inside so I think there
was some character flaws that they're
encountering you know because every now
and then I get with these a players here
there's only been a couple of them here
that I've you know been on first dat
with and talked with for a second but
it's not the outside that they had a
problem with it was there I think there
was a couple character flaws that what
what do you mean by that what do you
what do you think what do you think it
was uh so for one of them I think there
it was the main thing was there was she
was getting a large a sense that I was
being uh that I would be overly
controlling okay why is that what were
you doing that that gave that away I
don't know if it was me being overly
assertive or if
if it was when I had a problem with
things I was overly vocal about that or
overly opinionated but I I I tend to
have a strong opinion about the way that
I feel about things and when she does
something wrong I mean I have no problem
letting her know I have a problem with
that I don't know maybe it was maybe I
still really assertive for her but
there's been a couple where it's
repeated that I've got similar feedback
so maybe I tra it Trace back to my
childhood in some way you know because I
had I had a controlling father and maybe
that somehow kind of trickled its way
down to me but he was controlling with
women so you know I don't want to be
that way um I want to be
different especially especially with
hotter girls right because most men are
trying to do everything they can to get
her yeah right so you never want to be
controlling or you never want to be
toxic but you still want to have some
balls yeah you still want to have you
still want to establish you know that
you have boundaries right but let what
I'm talking about if your sexual market
value was maxed
out women would give you a lot more
wiggle room to be more assertive yeah
and and and I get on the external like
outside there's a few things uh I'd hit
the gym but like if we if me and you
went shirtless right now I'm sure you
got me right you're probably your your
your physique is phenomenal you're lean
I'm I'm probably I've let my gut go a
little bit it's not I'm not rocking a
beer gun or anything but it's like you
know could I step up my physique a
little bit more yes uh could I could I
revamp my wardrobe absolutely you know
there's some tweaks that I could make I
think that would uh probably afford me
like you said a little bit more
privilege yeah but
uh yeah I I guess I guess I don't know
if I'm prioritizing that over the main
concern is like do is there something on
the inside that I need to address
because like or do I just focusing
primarily on those external factors you
can do both you can do both I don't know
why you guys think that is always either
or why can't you work on both why can't
you work on your wardrobe maximize your
looks be more
fashionable and work on having more
self-control yeah and work on not losing
your mind whenever go to something wrong
having some emotional intelligence why
can't you do both
yeah why can't you be more
self-aware and and and when the
conversation is happening or an
interaction is going
you are conscious about what you're
doing and saying and how you're handling
it by still establishing your boundaries
but not coming across as like a crazy
person right I mean yeah personality
wise con like the conversation I can
have the I do fantastic with the intro
like meeting women there's no problem I
have in getting them to like me off the
bat I think it's once once I they get I
get used to them and then they start to
see the full spectrum of some of my
flaws and my personality I think those
are the things that um and does that
happen usually more with the girls you
think are hotter or every girl mainly
with the girls that I think that are
hotter I mean the ones that I would
consider a players the what the ones
that I would commit to on in a long-term
relation right so that's the problem the
women that you have a higher attraction
level for you t you tend to kind of want
to force it to work out maybe I am and
it's
yeah I mean with the girls who you don't
really give a [ __ ] about you don't you
you don't really give a [ __ ] yeah so
they they might want to stay longer but
the girls that you think are hot you
like act right because I want you to act
right that's where you get the
disconnect from the girl like oh this
[ __ ] is crazy yeah instead of
you having that nonchalant Tak it a
leave it Vibe regardless of how
attractive you find the girl so maybe
what's really going on is you don't know
how to keep women that you're really
attracted to and get them to respect you
at the same level that a girl who you
don't find that attractive I think
you're kind of hitting right on the on
the head there it's
because like I said I don't actively get
out I don't put myself out there very of
I've always been more let me just put it
this I'm more selfish right I've always
been more self-focused I put I've always
put more time into myself and my career
than in women and uh
while I'm young I want to take advantage
of that opportunity to do that for
myself but it's like uh what time women
have always been kind of something that
fit into my schedule let me just put it
that way um right and you
don't you don't have to make them a
priority yeah I think when you guys
think when you guys hear me say hey work
on women you you think I'm saying hey
bro go spend five hours a day talking to
girls that's not what I mean I'm saying
have enough practice with them so these
kind of things don't happen I'm sure
Brandon you would like to have maybe one
or two girls who you think are nines in
your life that you can keep without
having to go through this vicious cycle
again of not getting the kind of girls
you want maybe them running away like it
just takes a little bit of work yeah I
I'm G bring I'm gonna bring one one to
your attention like I got one that I'm
hanging on to that is one of those a
players where it's like we got past the
initial dates but she started to kind of
see some of that like my personality as
well and then started to get you know
question so I've distanced her a little
bit and she wants another date but I'm
kind of holding off to see if I need to
do some personal work before I have you
have you slept with her yet oh this is
crazy so
um we've had she's been in my bed
multiple
times and I just decided to exercise
like the
self-control uh but she been in my bed
multiple times in her thong thinking
that I was going to make a move and I
didn't that's what's caught her off
guard is because most men that get her
in bed would have and I've not so that's
what's kept her kind of on the hook okay
okay okay slow down slow down why aren
if she's been in your bested every times
why haven't you [ __ ] her you just
don't want to see because I when I met
her I kind of seen her as like a
potential long-term fit and I was
wanting to take it a little more serious
I
um I decided to slow it down a little
bit oh my Lord God this is a card no sin
Cardinal mistake do not make this
mistake guys I had I literally had a
call I had I had a call today with a
student of mine who was explaining to me
the exact same thing that is a horrible
strategy here's why a girl being that
hot right you know what she's you know
what she's attracted to dominance she's
attracted to men that are not afraid of
leading what she listen when a when
a no matter if you want something
longterm or not women these days are
[ __ ] and if she feels like you're not
confident enough to at least her
emotionally and physically she won't
have any respect for you so if you
haven't already [ __ ] her and she's
already behaving to the point where you
having a pull back she's already started
to lose respect for
you so you're making a you think that's
a connection there bro you gota bro
women love they love to get [ __ ] you
got
F it's I don't you know I don't I
wouldn't say that I've necessarily just
been afraid to make a move I'm I'm I'm
very
your plan is safe your plane is safe
your plane is safe Brandon because you
want it to work out and that's that's
operating out of scarcity this girl is
really bad she's really hot let me take
it slower and hopefully she stays
longer look I'm not
gonna if I took her on she's waiting on
me to take her on a date again if I took
on a date if I wanted to bring her back
here I I would the last time I asked her
to hang out she wanted me to come to her
pool
right and do a night swing so it's like
I know what she's expecting next it's
not that it's not that the opportunities
necessarily lost or off the table it's
just that I'm kind of like saying okay
fine whatever if maybe I go have sex
with her but like at the same time I
still got to make sure that um whatever
is going on on the inside the character
right is fixed that that way once we get
past you know we get past sex and all
that and we try to do something that's
more committed long term it's like it
you know is but you got to slow it down
bro you gotta get to some [ __ ] first
before you can see here's the thing
here's the thing fit I'm here's the
difference between me and probably a lot
of the other guys you talk to is like
I've got that out of my system man I the
amount in my college days the amount of
I've had all the sex that I need I don't
I don't necessarily need I've tried the
options I've tried you know I've tried
everything I was curious about right
I've gotten to that point where it's not
necessarily in my system to go go find
somebody else to [ __ ] again it's saying
it is I'm saying I'm saying women their
biological nature is to respect men that
they think are better than them right
when you're not [ __ ] her it's hard
for her to she doesn't so why do you
okay let me ask you this I'm end with
this why why has she been pulling back
for you to pull back what's been going
on there's been a couple like just most
of it's been in conversations we've had
where we've had
disagreements and there's arents there's
been some arguments that have come from
that but it's it's it's stemming around
the same subject like ways that I am
that are different from her uh but kind
of pointing to similar issues I think
their character flaws that other women
have already pointed out which was why I
was like you know maybe I need to get
that addressed I don't know so it seems
like you're trying to force these
interactions to work out yeah and with
women no matter what your your stances
and perspective I are you kind of have
to let things play out and she will over
time fall into your frame it's where I
think what's going wrong is where these
girls are feeling like you're
controlling is they feel like you're
trying to force them into your frame and
women hate that [ __ ] you're trying to
like make her I think that that made
that just clicked when you said that I'm
trying to force them into my frame right
that's why that's why she feels like
hold the [ __ ] up man we ain't even
[ __ ] here this [ __ ] sharing
me sharing all bro you no you got me
there because that was one of our dates
I
uh I did a couple moves that were more
kind of like in the Romantic category
before we had even had sex and that and
she kind of pointed them out like bro
like we haven't even so yeah yeah that's
what I'm saying bro she's waiting for
you to lead her fully before she can
fully submit to you you're trying to
make her submit to you and then lead
her no women have to be led to be to to
then
yeah yeah all right okay that makes
sense all right you got it bro you got
you can figure this out you got it take
my right all right
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