Exploring Your Gender Identity: 3 Key Mistakes to Avoid | Expert Advice!

Summary

Dr. Z, a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care, discusses the top three mistakes individuals can make when starting their gender journey. These include not identifying the root cause of gender dysphoria, misunderstanding the personal experience of dysphoria, and lacking clear goals and a plan. Dr. Z emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, understanding one's unique experience, and creating a tailored path to navigate the complexities of gender identity.

Takeaways

• 🧑‍⚕️ Dr. Z is a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care and emphasizes the importance of understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria for each individual.
• 🚫 Avoid the first mistake: Not understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria, as it can lead to inappropriate treatment paths and unnecessary distress.
• 🔍 The second mistake to avoid is not grasping the personal experience of gender dysphoria, which can vary greatly between individuals and is influenced by various factors.
• 📈 The third mistake is not having a clear goal or plan for navigating one's gender path, which can result in disorganized and potentially harmful steps.
• 🌐 Gender dysphoria can be complex and nuanced, affecting people with different backgrounds and mental health predispositions differently.
• 🤔 It's crucial to self-reflect on one's own experience of gender dysphoria to understand its severity, triggers, and personal coping mechanisms.
• 💉 Medical and surgical transition is not the only solution for gender dysphoria and may not be suitable for everyone based on their unique circumstances.
• 🌟 Having a clear understanding of one's gender dysphoria and its impact can help in making informed decisions about treatment and transition.
• 🛣️ A well-defined plan and goal can guide individuals through their gender journey, helping to minimize distress and maximize self-affirmation.
• 💬 Dr. Z encourages viewers to subscribe and follow for more informative content on transgender care and related topics.
• ⏳ It's never too late to reevaluate one's understanding of gender dysphoria, its impact, and the steps taken towards addressing it.

Q & A

What is the main focus of Dr. Z's channel?

Dr. Z's channel focuses on providing specialized information and support for transgender care, particularly for those starting on their gender path.

Why is it important to find the root issue of gender dysphoria according to Dr. Z?

Identifying the root issue of gender dysphoria is crucial because it informs the treatment path and helps individuals understand whether their distress stems from gender identity or another underlying cause.

What are some examples of other issues that can cause gender dysphoria-like feelings?

Examples include severe sexual abuse, trauma, other mental health concerns, body dysmorphia, and even comfort with one's gender assigned at birth.

Why is it a mistake to not understand the root cause of gender dysphoria?

Not understanding the root cause can lead individuals to pursue treatments or transitions that may not be alleviating or helpful for their specific situation, potentially causing more distress.

What does Dr. Z suggest is the second mistake people make on their gender path?

The second mistake is not having a clear understanding of what gender dysphoria means to the individual personally, including its severity, scope, and nuances in relation to their own experiences.

Why is it important to understand the personal experience of gender dysphoria?

Understanding personal experiences of gender dysphoria helps individuals determine the appropriate treatment steps and whether medical or surgical transition is necessary or if other coping mechanisms might be more suitable.

What is the third mistake Dr. Z discusses in the script?

The third mistake is not having a clear goal or plan when starting on the gender path, which can lead to confusion, unnecessary suffering, and potentially ineffective or harmful steps.

Why is having a clear goal and plan essential in navigating the gender path?

A clear goal and plan provide direction, minimize unnecessary suffering, and help individuals make informed decisions that are best suited to their unique circumstances and needs.

What does Dr. Z suggest can be done if someone realizes their gender identity was not the root cause of their dysphoria?

Dr. Z suggests that it's never too late to reevaluate, understand the root cause, and adjust the treatment plan or direction accordingly.

How does Dr. Z define the term 'gender path' in the context of the script?

In the script, 'gender path' refers to the journey an individual takes in understanding and addressing their gender dysphoria, which may or may not include transitioning.

What advice does Dr. Z give for individuals who are unsure about whether to transition?

Dr. Z advises individuals to understand the root cause of their dysphoria, evaluate their personal experience of it, and consider all potential avenues and coping mechanisms before deciding on a transition.

Outlines

00:00

👩‍⚕️ Introduction to Dr. Z's Channel and Gender Path Mistakes

Dr. Z, a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care, welcomes viewers to the channel and encourages subscription and following on Instagram for support and informative content. The video aims to discuss the top three mistakes made when starting on one's gender path. Dr. Z emphasizes the importance of these mistakes, as they can significantly impact the journey and decisions related to gender identity and dysphoria.

05:00

🔍 Identifying the Root Cause of Gender Dysphoria

The first mistake highlighted is not understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria. Dr. Z explains that while gender identity can be a cause for some, for others it may stem from other issues such as body dysmorphia, past trauma, or mental health conditions. Understanding the root cause is crucial as it informs the treatment path and helps avoid unnecessary medical interventions. The video provides examples to illustrate the importance of this distinction and how it can lead to different therapeutic approaches.

10:03

🧠 Personalizing the Experience of Gender Dysphoria

The second mistake discussed is the lack of personal understanding of what gender dysphoria means to the individual. Dr. Z stresses that experiences of dysphoria can vary greatly depending on personality, environment, and coping mechanisms. The video encourages self-reflection on the nature and severity of one's dysphoria, suggesting that without this understanding, individuals may opt for inappropriate or premature treatments, such as surgery, without considering other potential avenues for addressing their distress.

15:03

🎯 Setting Clear Goals and Planning the Gender Path

The third and final mistake presented is not having clear goals or a plan when navigating the gender path. Dr. Z points out that without understanding the root cause of dysphoria and its personal impact, it's challenging to establish meaningful objectives and a strategic plan. The video advises against a 'spaghetti against the wall' approach and instead promotes thoughtful consideration of one's unique situation, including personal goals, support systems, and potential obstacles, to create a tailored path forward.

20:05

🤔 Reevaluating and Adjusting the Gender Journey

In conclusion, Dr. Z emphasizes that it's never too late to reevaluate one's gender journey. The video encourages viewers to reassess the root cause of their dysphoria, understand their personal experience, and set clear goals with a well-thought-out plan. Dr. Z assures that with clarity and understanding, individuals can feel more confident and better equipped to make decisions about their gender identity, even if it means adjusting or completely changing their current path.

Keywords

💡Clinical Psychologist

A clinical psychologist is a licensed professional who specializes in the assessment, diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental, emotional, and behavioral disorders. In the context of the video, Dr. Z is a clinical psychologist with a specialization in transgender care, emphasizing their expertise in providing therapy and guidance to individuals exploring their gender identity.

💡Transgender Care

Transgender care refers to the medical and psychological support provided to individuals who identify as transgender or are questioning their gender identity. The video focuses on the importance of specialized care in understanding and addressing the unique challenges faced by transgender individuals, as provided by Dr. Z.

💡Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is a term used to describe the distress a person may experience as a result of the sex and gender they were assigned at birth. In the video, Dr. Z discusses the complexity of gender dysphoria and the importance of identifying its root cause to inform appropriate treatment paths.

💡Root Cause

The root cause refers to the underlying reason or the fundamental issue that leads to a particular problem or condition. In the script, Dr. Z emphasizes the need to understand the root cause of an individual's gender dysphoria, as it can vary from person to person and may not always be related to gender identity itself.

💡Gender Identity

Gender identity is a person's deeply-felt sense of being male, female, or something else, and may not necessarily align with their assigned sex at birth. The video script mentions that while gender identity can be a root cause of gender dysphoria for some, it is not the case for everyone.

💡Body Dysmorphia

Body dysmorphia is a mental health condition where a person obsesses over perceived flaws in their physical appearance. Dr. Z uses this term in the script to illustrate that some individuals may experience what feels like gender dysphoria when the actual root cause is body dysmorphia.

💡Coping Style

A coping style refers to the methods or strategies an individual uses to deal with stress or emotional distress. The video discusses how different coping styles can influence the experience of gender dysphoria, with examples given of healthy (e.g., exercise) versus unhealthy (e.g., excessive drinking) coping mechanisms.

💡Transition

In the context of the video, transition refers to the process of changing one's gender presentation and/or sex characteristics to align more closely with their gender identity. This can include social, medical, and legal steps. Dr. Z mentions that not everyone seeking to address gender dysphoria needs to undergo a transition.

💡Mistakes

The term 'mistakes' in the video refers to common errors individuals might make when navigating their gender path, such as not understanding the root cause of their dysphoria, not grasping the personal nuances of their experience, and not having a clear goal or plan for their journey.

💡Plan and Goal

Having a clear plan and goal is essential for individuals on their gender path, as discussed in the video. Dr. Z stresses the importance of setting personal objectives and creating a strategy to achieve them, which can help minimize distress and provide direction in the journey of understanding and expressing one's gender identity.

Highlights

Dr. Z introduces themselves as a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care.

The importance of subscribing and following Dr. Z's content for informative and specific information on gender identity.

The video discusses the top three mistakes to avoid when starting on one's gender path.

Mistake one: Understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria, which may not always be gender identity.

Gender dysphoria can be experienced by individuals with various backgrounds and for different reasons.

The significance of identifying the root cause to inform treatment paths and decisions.

Mistake two: Gaining a clear understanding of what gender dysphoria means to the individual.

The individuality of gender dysphoria experiences and the importance of self-assessment.

Mistake three: The necessity of having a clear goal and plan for one's gender journey.

The potential pitfalls of not having a clear plan, such as taking unnecessary or harmful steps.

The value of reevaluating one's gender journey and making adjustments as needed.

Dr. Z emphasizes that it's never too late to reassess and create a plan for one's gender path.

The potential for individuals to find relief through psychotherapy rather than medical intervention.

The importance of considering one's personal ecosystem, such as relationships and career, when planning a gender transition.

Dr. Z's encouragement for viewers to comment and share their thoughts on the video's content.

Transcripts

hi everyone I'm Dr Z I'm a clinical

psychologist specializing in transgender

care welcome to my channel if you're new

make sure you subscribe if you are

regular visitor who have not yet

subscribed make sure you also do

everybody has got to also follow my

Instagram account linked below when you

follow me on here or on Instagram you

are not only supporting me but you're

also helping a lot of other people find

this content and right now more than

ever we need to support professionals

and allies who are able to deliver very

informative very specific information so

please go ahead and subscribe and make

sure you support me having said that

today I want to share with you the top

three mistakes that you can potentially

make when you're starting on your gender

path these three mistakes are really

really important they're really really

important to pay attention to no matter

where you at they're really important

for you to analyze if you perhaps are

further along to still go back and see

what you can do in terms of maybe

Implement some of the things that I will

be sharing with you this three I would

call mistakes yes three mistakes are

very important and the reason why

they're very important is because I have

seen by now a lot of individuals who

come to me for individual therapy after

either trying to do things solo now

to be clear you don't need to see a

gender specialist in order to move

forward on your gender path you can

absolutely do the solo gender therapy is

not mandatory but people who some people

who have come to me have done it solo

and as a result they just felt like they

either didn't really get very far uh

experienced a lot of roadblocks a lot of

challenging feel as a result more

confused I've also seen individuals who'

been working with other so-called

claiming to be gender therapists but in

reality uh they did not had any

experience or lacked significant

experience to be able to help

individuals make right decisions so this

is where the three mistakes stem from

without further Ado the first mistake

that I would recommend for anybody

studying on the gender path to address

is when you are starting to experience

gender 40 remember you can experience

that early in childhood and may have

history Decades of living with it or you

may have had a sudden onset of it when

suddenly one day you walk up uh and you

just feel like wait a second I'm all of

a sudden feeling a deep disconnection

with my gender assigned at Birth

regardless of when you started to

experience gender dysphoria the very

first thing that is really really is

important is to find out what is a root

issue underneath your gender dysphoria

meaning where does your gender dysphoria

come from and I know that a lot of you

might be quick to say well dror Z the

root issue is gender identity and I'm

going to say that is absolutely not true

not for everybody for a lot of people

yes it is but for a lot of other people

the root issue the root cause is

something else I've been speaking more

Wally and much more about this because

this is so important gender Doria is

very complex it is very nuanced the

reality is that all types of people

experience gender dysphoria sis people

who have complete comfort with their

gender sented birth May and do

experience dysphoria people who had

severe sexual abuse not all again

were're not here to pinpoint anybody

people had severe trauma people who have

perhaps struggled with other severe

secondary um type of U mental concern or

diagnosis individuals who had body

dysmorphia any of those individuals and

more can experience what feels like

gender dysphoria when the root cause is

something else so why is it so important

to understand what the root cause is

because the understanding root cause is

going to really inform for you what

you're going to do about your gender

it's really going to inform what

treatment what paths you're going to

take here's a very clear C example for

somebody who comes in and they present

gender with gender 40 and they've been

diagnosed with

gender but after some time the

psychologist has realized that wait a

second the root cause for you right now

is actually the body dysmorphia you feel

versus somebody who comes in and they

experien gender dority be diagnosed with

gender Doria and the root cause is

really steming from gender identity

issues here's two individuals both feel

gender dysphoria two different root

causes well guess what for a lot of

people who may have body dysmorphia

working on that and addressing that may

lead to them feeling much more

comfortable with their bodies and ter

for eradicate the distress they feel in

regards to their gender assign and birth

ver for people for whom the root cost

each gender identity no amount of

psychotherapy talking there and trying

to make them comfortable with body is

not going to work because if gender

identity and if they feel strongly in

congruent with their body because how

the body is anchored and tied to the

gender assigned at Birth well guess what

they going to need a different type of

solution so this is a great example to

show you so understanding the root cause

is going to be number one it's going to

be really important a lot of you who

have struggled with dysphoria from a

young age for you it's a slam D you know

it's been gender dys and you know it's

been tied to your gender identity since

you were little because you felt it on a

viscer level you experience it year

after year and so for you you already

know very clearly your root cause truly

is gender identity but this is why it's

important this is and one of the most

important things is to prevent people

from taking the route of solution of

treatment that may not be actually as

alleviating or

helpful I'm going to say and bring up

the tradition histories again because we

are do we do experience a lot of young

adults with the tradition and it's not

good or bad it is just deeply

unfortunate now a lot of people who are

DET transitioning they DET transitioning

because their identity has evolved into

something

else yes our identities are not static

for some of us they're more fluid they

tend to evolve and sometimes what we

felt like we identified as may have

shift over time and yet there are some

people who

unfortunately realize that gender

identity was never a root issue it was

never the cause of dysphoria and that's

unfortunate because people do go through

things such as hormones especially

masculinizing hormones that has much

more reversible things uh effects on the

body or G dieric surgeries and this is

why examining crot issue is important

for all of you you first of all it will

give you a peace of mind and I think

that's very valuable to have and second

of all hey I honestly don't know any

adult in my experience who would not let

me put it that way gender transition for

100% of adults I work with is a very

challenging path even for people who

know it will make them in end

happier almost everybody I work with

would rather not go through it if they

did not had to so if some people

actually have an Avenue to discover that

it's something that may not be tied to

gender identity as a root cause and can

be addressed with Psychotherapy alone I

in my opinion that would be a

relief and I think that's important to

address so mistake number one is not

really understanding what is the root

cause what is causing it mistake number

two that I see people make make when

they start their gender transition path

is not really getting a grasp and

understanding of what gender dysphoria

means to

you gender dysphoria no matter how it is

written in DSM which is diagnostic

statistical manual psychiatric disorders

no matter how when you Google it and AI

brings up description or or even I tell

you what G 40 is no matter what anybody

tells you it's a generalized snapshat

shot the DSM description or the Google

description of what gender what is that

you see is there to create a blueprint a

baseline a backbone on top of this

blueprint and

Baseline what builds up what I build up

when I work with people

is um your personality type your

character any other mental health

predispositions uh your surroundings

your environment you

upbringing uh your your level of

understanding what gender D is your

level of relationship to your body

whether you are thinking type or feeling

type there's so much goes on top of that

Baseline and as you can realize once all

of that gets layered on top of the

blueprint not two individuals

experiences of the dys for is going to

look alike sure there's be some

similarities and overlap but how

somebody who is for example um in their

toris has zero

support uh also on top of that has

anxious

predispositions and also struggles with

something else is going to experience

gender dys 4 is going to be drastically

different than somebody in their 40 even

for example has support has no other

predispositions do you see what I mean

so it's really important important for

all of you to start asking yourself if

you're not working with therapist to

start asking

yourself what is what does gender is

what it feel like to me this is why a

lot of people freak out when they hear

that for somebody it is so severe they

literally Daydream and fantasize about

cutting particular body parts some

people just get very confused by that

severity because they think this is

nowhere near what I experienc for me

just I feel very neutral about my

gentles for example it's because

everybody experiences this stress

different somebody's coping style might

be better than others if somebody's

coping style is every time this for hits

and I feel anxious and worried about it

I engage in healthy coping and I

exercise I acknowledge I'm feeling

dysphoria but I'm going to ground my

body in exercise and I'm just going to

shake up that energy but that person is

going to feel lesser distress of

dysphoria than somebody who's hoping

style is I'm just going to pour myself a

glass of wine and I'm going to then

drink a whole bottle in order to forget

that I experienced dysphoria and now

you're stuffing it psychologically one

is acknowledging and does something

about it in a healthy way another one is

stuffing it and really uh negating the

fact that it exists in unhealthy way and

paying for it more drastically the next

day by feeling more hung over by feeling

unwell again just simple just as simple

as coping Style can lead to different

experiences of gender dority and how it

will manifest in those two individuals

so understanding asking yourself those

things if you're not working with

therapist how do I feel why do I feel

the same way when it gets really bad

what's causing it's really bad have I

been under stress lately which by the

way as the stress level goes up this

what it tends to go up so all of those

things are going to give you an

understanding of how you're responding

and feeling about it now why is this so

important important and why is this can

lead to a mistake if you don't

understand your dysphoria and how it

orients you you Z can't really um think

about which first treatment steps to

engage in right you can't really uh

that's actually when people fall into

the Trap of oh I'm just going to go have

this surgery now because that seems like

the first step to do versus wait a

second what is the biggest distress

where am I getting the most distress is

it really particular body body part and

if it is which body part is it is it

something else could it be my facial

hair that is giving me the most distress

versus jumping in the surgers or any

other kind of things so it will inform

in other ways how you're going to move

forward for a lot of individuals who are

in a position where you are even

wondering is this transition worth it

for me you're wondering whether it's

going to benefit or make your life

better A lot of times people who do

Wonder this are people who have a lot of

their own other personal ecosystems

build around them such as you um have

you know you're in a relationship you

most likely have children or a child you

also have most likely an established

careers and as a result of that you feel

very fearful of taking the transition

path even though you might really want

to because you don't you feel like

you're going to give up everything you

have built over here you feel like

you're going to lose everything you're

going to have over here I have a lot of

people who work who I work with who ask

me what else can I do other than

transition and this is where

understanding what is your level of

distress is crucial I had clients who'

been with me for a very long time who

have never taken any transition steps

why because we're constantly working and

we're constantly analyzing their coping

face and we're constantly working on

making sure that their coping are as

healthy as possible to minimize the

distress now I wish that they took the

plunge and transition because I know

they'll be happier of course but guess

what it's not for me to decide everybody

has to decide based on their

circumstances and some people truly feel

like it's better for them to find a way

to cope with it for the rest of their

life and so the golden becomes all right

I'm going to respect your decision let's

find a way to cope with it in the most

healthiest way which actually serves to

minimi minimize the distress

versus really increase the distress you

feel so this is mistake number two I see

people don't have a grasp of

understanding what their distress is

where it's coming from what's what's

contributing the most and here they jump

into things especially for example in

today's culture uh people are very quick

to equate oh gender D equals your trans

oh it equals you must go through medical

and surgical transition and people don't

give time to themselves to think is

there other potential Avenues and while

medical and surgical without a doubt is

incredibly important and absolutely does

safe lives it's not for everybody so

this is mistake number two not

understanding the severity the scope um

the nuances of dysphoria in relationship

to you not to anybody else but to you

and mistake number three that I see a

lot of people make when they start under

gender path is not really having a clear

goal nor a

plan and the first two mistakes that I

said are going to fall right into the

Trap if you don't know what the root

cause of your gender dority is and if

you don't understand the scope and how

gender dority presents for you

specifically in realm of your context

and your subjective

reality how then are you supposed to see

what your goals are how then are you

supposed to know what your plan is see a

lot of people who come to me who just

kind of you knows that analogy threw

spaghetti up on a wall and hope

something is going to stick meaning they

tried everything and anything as the

result some things have backfired

something things happened too fast for

them quite traumatize them to be frankly

and now they're sh shocked they still

want to go out there and leave their

authentic selves but they just don't

know where else to start or how to

navigate it if you don't understand what

your struggling with what the root cause

of gender dysphoria and how gender

dysphoria presents for you again you're

going to be sailing there and meets

speak ocean without knowing where you're

going and you are going to be lost in

the very least if you're not going to be

lost you are going to spend a lot of

time you most likely are going to spend

longer time suffering which is for than

necessary you might also take steps that

are not really going to necessarily

benefit you you might do things in order

and in a way it's also not going to be

the best giving your circumstances while

there is no particular manual right

there's no particular oh you do this in

six months you do this and this no

there's only manual for you and your

manual is situated in your context it's

situated in your realm of your reality

and if you are coming to me and we're

working together and your biggest

concern is coming out at your work

because you don't feel like your work

environment is inclusive guess what

coming out at work is not going to be

your first or second or third step why

because then it's going to create more

anxiety more stress for you that you

don't need right now especially when

there's so many other steps on your path

you can take before you come to that

place and all of the steps leading up to

that will make you feel more affirmed

more confident so then when you do come

out at work you are not so wrapped up in

fear and anxiety this is what I mean but

this can only happen if you know what

you plan and goals is and where you are

going everybody has different goals not

everybody's goal is to pass not

everybody's goal is surgery not

everybody's goal is even hormones like I

said some people's goal is how can I

survive this how can I live with it long

term how can I cope with it long term

some people goal is how can I transition

as fast as possible some people goal is

how can I transition in a way where

there's less obstacles I run against and

all of that has to be informed and again

situated in your reality in your context

in your circumstances in your in your

subjective experience to not only

yourself but to people around you not to

mention your typology your personality

so many other factors are going to come

into play so those are the three most

biggest mistakes I see people make when

they start under gender pass whatever

the pass may be for you I'm mindful not

to say gender transition because not

everybody seeks transition again not

understanding what the root CA or not

evaluating what the root cause is um not

really understanding or grasping how

this what presents for you remember it

the way it presents for you is different

the way it present s to everybody else

because you are unique the way you cope

is unique the way you see the world is

unique the way you mind work is uni the

way you process stress and and anxiety

is going to be unique to you so of

course this what is going to be very

it's going to really be seen and felt

differently for you and for anybody else

and not having a clear plan and goal so

no matter where you at right now you can

still apply all of this it's never never

too late to go back and to reexamine

what the root issue it is never too late

to go back and to understand how gender

this presents for you it is never ever

ever too late to reevaluate where you

sales are taking you and it's that big

caution and to create a plan to create

goal and to shift the direction you're

going in you can absolutely do it that's

why I'm making this video there's never

such thing as too late you can turn back

you can re-evaluate you can apply the

things and trust me you're going to be

in a much better position you're going

to have a very clear understanding Clear

Vision when you have Clarity when you

have Clarity when you really understand

where gender is already coming from for

you when you understand how it feels for

you and how it presents for you and on

top of that you have a goal and a plan

well my friend let me tell you then you

are feeling so much more confident so

much ready are you going to be still

afraid yes are still going to be anxious

and fearful of course but you're going

to be in much more position than a whole

bunch of other people who have never

thought about the stream mistakes and

putting them into place comment below

let me know what your thoughts are where

you find yourself as you're watching

this video and I will see you all next

time goodbye