how to build REAL confidence: self-worth tips, magnetic confidence, beat insecurities and glow up!💖

Tam Kaur
30 Jan 202321:03

Summary

TLDRDieses Video prĂ€sentiert sieben praktische Tipps, um das Selbstvertrauen zu stĂ€rken. Von der Überwindung von Selbstzweifeln bis zur AuthentizitĂ€t, zeigt die Sprecherin, wie man durch bewusste Entscheidungen und positive SelbstgesprĂ€che ein selbstbewussterer Mensch werden kann. Sie teilt ihre persönliche Transformation mit und ermutigt die Zuschauer, ihre eigenen Ängste und Unsicherheiten zu ĂŒberwinden, um ein selbstbestimmtes und erfĂŒllteres Leben zu fĂŒhren.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 Selbstvertrauen kann durch 'Faking it till you make it' entwickelt werden, aber echtes Selbstvertrauen kommt von innen und ist nachhaltiger.
  • 🔑 Ohne die Suche nach Zustimmung anderer entsteht ein echtes Selbstvertrauen, das unabhĂ€ngig von externen Meinungen ist.
  • 🗣 Affirmationen sind wichtig, um die negative Selbstwahrnehmung und den inneren Kritiker umzukehren und Selbstzweifel zu verringern.
  • đŸ‹ïžâ€â™€ïž Durch kontinuierliches Herausfordern der eigenen Grenzen und das Aufbauen eines Beweisportfolios gegen Selbstzweifel, kann man echtes Selbstvertrauen entwickeln.
  • 😳 Verlegenheit ist eine Wahl und kann durch Exposition und Akzeptanz reduziert werden, um die eigene AuthentizitĂ€t zu stĂ€rken.
  • 💃 AuthentizitĂ€t ist entscheidend fĂŒr echtes Selbstvertrauen und bringt viele Segnungen, darunter die Anziehung der richtigen Menschen und Gelegenheiten.
  • 💖 Echtes Selbstvertrauen basiert auf Selbstliebe, die unabhĂ€ngig von externen Erfolgen oder Erreichungen ist und Akzeptanz aller Aspekte des Selbst einschließt.
  • 👧 Sich mit dem jĂŒngeren Selbst zu konversieren, hilft, die Fortschritte zu erkennen und das Selbstvertrauen durch Anerkennung frĂŒherer Erfolge zu stĂ€rken.
  • đŸ€— Selbstvertrauen ist ein Prozess der persönlichen Transformation, der durch die Annahme und Liebe zu einem selbst, unabhĂ€ngig von externen Faktoren, gefestigt wird.
  • 🔄 Die Bedeutung der Selbstakzeptanz fĂŒr das Selbstvertrauen, einschließlich der Anerkennung und Akzeptanz der eigenen Fehler und SchwĂ€chen als Teil des Wachstums.
  • đŸŒ± Das Wachstum des Selbstvertrauens erfolgt durch die stĂ€ndige Selbstreflexion und das Festhalten an den Prinzipien der AuthentizitĂ€t und Selbstliebe.

Q & A

  • Wie hat sich die Sprecherin in Bezug auf ihre Selbstsicherheit im Laufe der Zeit verĂ€ndert?

    -Die Sprecherin hat sich von einer sehr zurĂŒckhaltenden, schĂŒchternen Person, die Angst hatte, neue Leute kennenzulernen, zu einer ausgeschweiften, selbstbewussten Person verwandelt, die sich mit Fremden unterhĂ€lt und selbstbewusst durch ihr Auftreten auftritt.

  • Was bedeutet 'externe Selbstsicherheit' und wie kann man diese entwickeln?

    -Externe Selbstsicherheit beinhaltet Verhaltensweisen wie das Aufrechter Halten von Augenkontakt, richtige Haltung und positive Körpersprache, die oft durch das 'vortĂ€uschen bis man es schafft' erreicht werden kann. Die Sprecherin glaubt fest an dieses Konzept und hat es als nĂŒtzlich fĂŒr die Entwicklung ihrer eigenen Selbstsicherheit beschrieben.

  • Was unterscheidet 'interne Selbstsicherheit' von 'externer Selbstsicherheit'?

    -Interne Selbstsicherheit ist wichtiger und nachhaltiger; sie bedeutet, die Zustimmung anderer nicht zu suchen und eigene Meinungen zu vertrauen. Die externe Selbstsicherheit kann andere tÀuschen, die interne Selbstsicherheit ist jedoch dauerhaft und bedeutet, in jeder Situation selbstbewusst zu sein.

  • Wie können Affirmationen die Selbstsicherheit einer Person stĂ€rken?

    -Affirmationen können dazu beitragen, die negative Selbstwahrnehmung und den inneren Kritiker einer Person umzukehren. Sie sind ein Werkzeug zur SelbstverstÀrkung, das dazu dient, an sich selbst zu glauben und zu wissen, dass die eigenen Ziele erreichbar sind.

  • Was ist der Unterschied zwischen externer und interner Selbstsicherheit in Bezug auf die Wirkung auf die eigene Wahrnehmung?

    -Externe Selbstsicherheit kann andere tÀuschen, aber die interne Selbstsicherheit beeinflusst die eigene Wahrnehmung und das Selbstvertrauen. Die Sprecherin betont, dass es wichtig ist, nicht von der Meinung anderer abhÀngig zu sein und eigene Entscheidungen zu treffen.

  • Wie kann man seine Selbstzweifel ĂŒberwinden, um echte Selbstsicherheit zu entwickeln?

    -Um Selbstzweifel zu ĂŒberwinden, empfiehlt die Sprecherin, kontinuierlich den Komfortzonen zu entkommen und sich in Situationen zu bewegen, die normalerweise Selbstzweifel hervorrufen wĂŒrden. Dies beinhaltet, sich in schwierigen Situationen zu bewĂ€hren und dadurch ein Portfolio von Beweisen fĂŒr die eigene FĂ€higkeit aufzubauen.

  • Was ist die Bedeutung von AuthentizitĂ€t fĂŒr die Entwicklung von Selbstsicherheit?

    -AuthentizitĂ€t bedeutet, keine Angst zu haben, sein wahres Selbst zu sein, und nicht der Meinung anderer oder der Gesellschaft zu folgen. Die Sprecherin betont, dass echte Selbstsicherheit durch das Zerstören der Angst vor AuthentizitĂ€t erreicht werden kann und dass dies dazu fĂŒhrt, dass man von innen heraus selbstbewusst ist.

  • Wie kann man seine Online-Nutzung Ă€ndern, um seine Selbstsicherheit zu stĂ€rken?

    -Die Sprecherin schlÀgt vor, echte Menschen zu folgen, die einem Àhnlich sind, und Bildungsschöpfer, um die eigene Kultur und die eigenen ethnischen Merkmale zu schÀtzen und zu verteidigen. Dies kann dazu beitragen, die eigene Selbstsicherheit zu stÀrken, indem man nicht mehr stÀndig mit Fremden im Internet verglichen wird.

  • Was sind die Vorteile von 'Schamlosigkeit' in Bezug auf Selbstsicherheit?

    -Die Sprecherin argumentiert, dass Schamlosigkeit eine Wahl ist und dass man sich nicht schĂ€men sollte, wenn man etwas tut, das man fĂŒr richtig hĂ€lt. Indem man sich der Scham nicht hingibt, kann man seine Selbstsicherheit stĂ€rken und sich nicht von der Meinung anderer einschrĂ€nken lassen.

  • Wie kann man seine jĂŒngere Selbst sehen, um die Selbstsicherheit zu stĂ€rken?

    -Indem man sich die jĂŒngere Selbst vorstellt und mit ihr spricht, kann man die Fortschritte, die man gemacht hat, anerkennen und sich selbst fĂŒr die erreichten Erfolge feiern. Dies fördert die Selbstsicherheit, indem man sich daran erinnert, wie weit man gekommen ist und wie stolz man auf sich selbst sein sollte.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Selbstvertrauen durch Transformation

Der erste Absatz erzĂ€hlt die persönliche Transformation der Sprecherin von einer schĂŒchternen, unsicheren Person zu einer selbstbewussten und sozialen Medien-Influencer. Sie diskutiert die Bedeutung von Selbstvertrauen und teilt, wie sie durch 'Faking it till you make it' und die Entwicklung von innerem Selbstvertrauen eine positive VerĂ€nderung in ihrem Leben bewirkt hat. Sie betont, dass Ă€ußerliches Selbstvertrauen leichter zu erreichen ist, aber innerem Selbstvertrauen ist wichtiger und nachhaltiger. Zudem wird auf die Rolle von BestĂ€tigungen und die Bedeutung, die eigene Meinung zu vertrauen, hingewiesen.

05:02

🔄 Die Macht der BestĂ€tigungen und Herausforderungen

In diesem Absatz geht es um die Rolle von BestÀtigungen im Prozess der Selbstvertrauensentwicklung. Die Sprecherin erklÀrt, dass BestÀtigungen dazu beitragen können, die eigene negative Selbstwahrnehmung umzukehren und Selbstzweifel zu verringern. Sie teilt ihre persönlichen Erfahrungen mit der Verwendung von BestÀtigungen, wie das Umkehren von Selbsthass und die Anpassung von Online-Konsumgewohnheiten, um eine positivere Selbstbild zu entwickeln. Zudem wird die Bedeutung von SelbstbekÀmpfung und der Erstellung eines Beweisportfolios gegen Selbstzweifel hervorgehoben.

10:03

🚀 Überwindung der Scham und AuthentizitĂ€t

Der dritte Absatz konzentriert sich auf die Überwindung von SchamgefĂŒhlen als Teil des Selbstvertrauens. Die Sprecherin argumentiert, dass Scham eine soziale Konstruktion ist und dass man sich die Wahl hat, ob man sich schĂ€mt oder nicht. Sie teilt ihre Erfahrungen mit der Expositionstherapie, um sich an die Öffentlichkeit und die damit verbundenen SchamgefĂŒhle zu gewöhnen. Des Weiteren wird die Bedeutung von AuthentizitĂ€t und wie sie zur Selbstvertrauensentwicklung beitrĂ€gt, erlĂ€utert, einschließlich der Vorteile von echtem Selbstsein und die Ablehnung, der Meinung anderer zu folgen.

15:04

💖 Selbstliebe als Fundament des Selbstvertrauens

In diesem Absatz wird die Rolle der Selbstliebe im Aufbau von Selbstvertrauen betont. Die Sprecherin erklĂ€rt, dass echtes Selbstvertrauen auf der Liebe zu einem selbst basiert, unabhĂ€ngig von externen Erfolgen oder Leistungen. Sie diskutiert, wie manche Menschen ihre SelbstwertschĂ€tzung an Ă€ußeren Dingen wie Aussehen, akademischen Erfolgen oder beruflichen Errungenschaften binden, und warum dies nicht die wahre Selbstliebe ist. Stattdessen sollte man sich selbst lieben, auch wenn manche Aspekte des Lebens nicht perfekt sind, und dies ist der SchlĂŒssel zum wahren Selbstvertrauen.

20:06

đŸ€— RĂŒckblick und Dankbarkeit fĂŒr die eigene Entwicklung

Der vierte Absatz spricht ĂŒber die Wichtigkeit, sich der eigenen Entwicklung bewusst zu sein und fĂŒr diese dankbar zu sein. Die Sprecherin empfiehlt, sich mit der jĂŒngeren selbst zu konversieren, um die Fortschritte zu erkennen und zu feiern. Sie betont, dass selbst wenn man noch nicht alles erreicht hat, was man sich vorstellt, es wichtig ist, die kleinen Erfolge und die Wege, die man zurĂŒckgelegt hat, anzuerkennen. Dies fördert eine reiche, positive Einstellung und stĂ€rkt das Selbstvertrauen, indem man sich an die Errungenschaften erinnert und sich selbst fĂŒr das bereits Erreichte bedankt.

🎉 Schlussfolgerung und persönliche Reflexion

Der letzte Absatz fasst die vorherigen Punkte zusammen und reflektiert persönlich auf die VerÀnderungen, die Selbstvertrauen in dem Leben der Sprecherin bewirkt hat. Sie ermutigt die Zuschauer, ihre eigenen Fortschritte anzuerkennen und auf die positiven Aspekte ihres Lebens zu fokussieren, anstatt auf das Fehlen von Dingen. Die Sprecherin teilt ihre Hoffnung, dass die Tipps hilfreich sein mögen und betont, dass Selbstvertrauen ein Leben lang verÀndern kann, basierend auf ihrer eigenen Erfahrung.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Selbstvertrauen

Selbstvertrauen bezieht sich auf das innere GefĂŒhl der Sicherheit und Zuversicht in die eigenen FĂ€higkeiten und Eigenschaften. Im Video wird Selbstvertrauen als Kernthema behandelt, das durch persönliche Transformation und Entwicklung erreicht wird. Die Sprecherin teilt ihre Erfahrungen und Strategien, wie sie von einer scheuen Person zu einer selbstbewussten Influencerin wurde, was das Wachstum ihres Selbstvertrauens veranschaulicht.

💡Äußeres vs. Inneres Selbstvertrauen

Dieses Konzept unterscheidet sich in 'Faking it till you make it', was die Ă€ußerlichen Verhaltensweisen beschreibt, die andere Menschen tĂ€uschen können, und 'Inneres Selbstvertrauen', das eine tiefere, von innen kommende Zuversicht bedeutet. Im Video wird betont, dass Ă€ußeres Selbstvertrauen leichter erreicht werden kann, aber inneres Selbstvertrauen dauerhaft ist und nicht von der Meinung anderer abhĂ€ngig ist.

💡BestĂ€tigung

BestĂ€tigung bezieht sich auf das BedĂŒrfnis, Zustimmung oder Anerkennung von anderen zu erhalten. Im Video wird kritisiert, wie manchmal die Suche nach BestĂ€tigung die Selbstzuversicht untergrĂ€bt. Die Sprecherin empfiehlt, eigene Entscheidungen zu treffen, ohne die Zustimmung anderer abzuwarten, um Selbstvertrauen zu stĂ€rken.

💡Selbstbewertung

Selbstbewertung ist der Prozess des Bewertens und Akzeptierens der eigenen Meinungen und Entscheidungen. Im Video wird betont, dass eine positive Selbstbewertung wichtig ist, um das Selbstvertrauen zu stĂ€rken, indem man lernt, seine eigenen Meinungen fĂŒr gĂŒltig zu halten, unabhĂ€ngig von der Anerkennung durch andere.

💡Selbstaffirmationen

Selbstaffirmationen sind positive Aussagen, die man sich selbst wiederholt, um die eigene Selbstwahrnehmung zu verbessern. Im Video werden Selbstaffirmationen als Werkzeug beschrieben, das dazu beitragen kann, das Selbstvertrauen zu stÀrken, indem man seine negative Selbstkritik reduziert und sich selbst positiv spricht.

💡Scham

Scham ist ein GefĂŒhl der Verlegenheit oder Pein, das normalerweise erscheint, wenn man der Meinung ist, etwas Peinliches getan zu haben. Im Video wird argumentiert, dass Scham eine Wahl ist und dass man durch gezieltes Aussetzen auf peinliche Situationen oder durch Änderung der Einstellung zur Scham das Selbstvertrauen stĂ€rken kann.

💡AuthentizitĂ€t

AuthentizitĂ€t bezieht sich auf die FĂ€higkeit, sich selbst ehrlich und echt zu zeigen, ohne die Erwartungen anderer zu erfĂŒllen. Im Video wird AuthentizitĂ€t als SchlĂŒssel zum Selbstvertrauen betrachtet, da sie dazu beitrĂ€gt, die wahre IdentitĂ€t zu entdecken und zu akzeptieren, was zu einer tieferen Zufriedenheit und Zuversicht fĂŒhrt.

💡Selbstliebe

Selbstliebe ist die FĂ€higkeit, sich selbst uneingeschrĂ€nkt und bedingungslos zu lieben. Im Video wird Selbstliebe als die Basis fĂŒr echtes Selbstvertrauen dargestellt, da sie beinhaltet, alle Aspekte des Selbst zu akzeptieren, einschließlich der SchwĂ€chen und Fehler, und trotzdem eine positive Selbstwahrnehmung zu bewahren.

💡Komfortzone

Die Komfortzone ist der Bereich des Lebens, in dem man sich sicher und unbeschwert fĂŒhlt, ohne herausfordernde Situationen zu erleben. Im Video wird empfohlen, die eigene Komfortzone zu verlassen, um neue Erfahrungen zu sammeln und das Selbstvertrauen durch Überwindung von Herausforderungen zu stĂ€rken.

💡Selbstreflektion

Selbstreflektion ist der Prozess des Nachdenkens ĂŒber die eigenen Gedanken, Emotionen und Verhaltensweisen. Im Video wird Selbstreflektion als wertvolles Werkzeug fĂŒr persönliches Wachstum beschrieben, das dazu beitrĂ€gt, ein besseres VerstĂ€ndnis der eigenen IdentitĂ€t und StĂ€rken zu entwickeln und somit das Selbstvertrauen zu stĂ€rken.

Highlights

Transformation from a shy, insecure individual to a confident social media influencer and extrovert.

Importance of distinguishing between external and internal confidence, with a focus on developing the latter for sustainability.

The concept of 'faking it till you make it' as a strategy for developing external confidence.

Affirmations as a tool for reframing negative self-perception and combating self-doubt.

The role of social media in fostering comparison and insecurity, and ways to counteract these effects.

Building a portfolio of proof against self-doubt through consistently stepping out of one's comfort zone.

The idea that embarrassment is a choice and can be overcome through exposure therapy.

Authenticity as a key to real confidence and its benefits in attracting the right people and opportunities.

The process of becoming authentic by getting to know oneself and embracing one's unique qualities.

Self-love as the foundation of true confidence, independent of external achievements.

The importance of engaging in conversation with one's younger self to appreciate personal growth and progress.

The practice of gratitude and reflection on past achievements as a confidence booster.

The impact of confidence on personal and professional success, and the transformative power of self-belief.

Strategies for overcoming the fear of public speaking and social interactions by facing discomfort head-on.

The significance of not seeking approval from others and trusting one's own opinion as a step towards internal confidence.

The role of self-compassion in developing a healthy self-image and combating negative self-talk.

The final encouragement to apply the discussed confidence tips and the reminder of the potential for personal transformation.

Transcripts

play00:00

listen I went from being the quietest

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shyest girl in the room who could never

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make new friends because she was so

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terrified of speaking to new people so

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being the extroverted Life of the Party

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who could walk up to a running stranger

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and strike up a conversation with them I

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went from being so insecure about myself

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that I had to hide my face in every

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single photo taken of me to literally

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doing modeling shoots and being a social

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media influencer I went from chasing

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people because I was so desperate for

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other people's approval to going out

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sitting in restaurants alone and just

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being okay with being myself because I'm

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so detached and confident in who I am if

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I can make that much of a transformation

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and up level my life through my

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confidence you sure as hell can if you

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live that life you will never attain

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confidence that not right that is

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embarrassing that means that you're

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judging yourself anyways I need to just

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calm down and take a deep breath I'm

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just very passionate about this hello

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everyone and welcome back to my channel

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today's video is super important because

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I'm going to be sharing with you seven

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in-depth real confident tips and

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strategies that you can start

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implementing today to become your new

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and improved confident self for the new

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year but before you watch this video or

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maybe even after I actually have a

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previous video that I filmed on my

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channel it's the part one to this video

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which is called how to be confident is

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one of my most popular videos I'm super

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proud of it and it's got real strategies

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that will help you become confident I'm

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not going to be repeating any of those

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tips in this video we're going to be

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talking about new strategies but I'll

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leave it linked in the description and

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it's linked up here and remember that I

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consistently share confidence tips on my

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Tick Tock under my playlist called body

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tips and you'll find regular content on

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there every single day so let's get into

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the confidence tips number one is

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external versus internal confidence

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external confidence is easier to achieve

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because it involves a lot of Faking it

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till you make it which I'm a massive

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believer in and that really helped me

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develop my own confidence I love fake it

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to your makeup I definitely recommend

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embodying the characteristics of your

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dream self until they naturally become a

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part of who you are but I covered all of

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that advice in my confidence part one

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video like I mentioned before so today

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we're going to be talking about internal

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confidence which is much more important

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yes external confidence can be useful

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you know people give you tips like

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always make eye contact have the right

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posture talk to everybody never be on

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your phone have positive body language

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using those tips will make sure that

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you're definitely successful in fooling

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other people into thinking you're super

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confident even if you're super shy and

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introverted on the inside but when you

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go home after faking it till you make it

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and you then have to face your inner

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dialogue again you won't feel confident

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on the inside and this is where internal

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confidence comes from it's much more

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sustainable and it means you'll be

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confident all of the time so what does

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internal confidence mean it means not

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seeking approval from others you know

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when you're posting something on

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Instagram don't send a picture in your

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group chat for them to approve it first

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if you like it then that's enough you

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should start trusting your own opinion

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your opinion is valid it doesn't matter

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what anybody else thinks post it you

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don't need a second opinion and

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reassurance from other people with every

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decision you make when you decide to do

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that what you're basically saying to

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yourself is I don't trust my own opinion

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and my own opinion probably isn't

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correct so I need other people to tell

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me what I should do and that right there

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is gradually decreasing your confidence

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over time confidence tip number two

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affirmations only work in reframing your

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negative self-perception and inner

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critic everybody asks yeah but do

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affirmations actually work you know

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saying you're abused feeling confident

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in a mirror every day isn't gonna

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magically make you so I completely agree

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the other tips I'm about to go through

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in this video they will help you become

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conflict very quickly but affirmations

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the purpose of them is to help you work

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backwards from your self-hate from

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everything bad you say about yourself

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from your inner critic and yes it might

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not necessarily make you confident

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overnight but what it will do is it will

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decrease your self-doubt and it will

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make sure that the confidence you have

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isn't decreasing affirmations is about

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self-empowerment it's about believing in

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yourself and knowing what you want is

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achievable and that you're capable of it

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and remember your thoughts reflect your

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reality if you constantly think I'm not

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worthy of this I'm not attractive I'm

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never gonna be able to date that kind of

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person you are vote because that's what

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you're constantly feeding to yourself

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every single day plus affirmations is a

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very well known form of manifestation so

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if you want to become a confident person

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you need to speak that dream confident

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self into reality into existence

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affirmations are so crucial because it

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will force you to make a habit out of

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speaking to yourself positively and a

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lot of us suffer from self-hate and it's

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not even our fault we live in a digital

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age with so many unrealistic beauty

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standards and being able to see other

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people's Lifestyles at the click of a

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button and that causes so much

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comparison and that then breeds so much

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insecurity so not only do I use

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affirmations on a daily basis to remind

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myself of the dream person I'm working

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towards but also I've done a lot of

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techniques to reverse that self-hate

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that's so embedded in all of us for

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example I changed my online consumption

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habits I started following real people

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people who look like me without surgery

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Brown women who showed off and were

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proud of their ethnic features it also

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made me fall back in love with my

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culture and my skin color and my ethnic

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features again and that really helped

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increase my confidence instead of

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following celebrities that started

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following educational creators so every

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day when I went on social media I wasn't

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thinking about oh my God these people

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live in a mansion and they're so rich

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and I have nothing but I was just

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learning new things and I wasn't

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constantly comparing myself to strangers

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on the internet every day and lastly

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with affirmations I think talking to our

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younger selves is a great way to

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practice affirmation when you're

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engaging in this self-hate behavior and

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you're criticizing yourself or yourself

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that is growing the one thing that

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immediately snaps me out of that is

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envisioning my younger self any bad

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things I'm saying to myself and being

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hard on myself I imagine not saying that

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to the six or seven year old version and

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instantly it forces me to empathize with

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myself this is really important to have

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self-compassion so yes affirmation

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doesn't magically lead to a huge growth

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in confidence overnight but it does

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prevent you from damaging the confidence

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you already have and this leads me to

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confidence tip number three instead of

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relying on affirmations build a whole

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portfolio of proof against yourself

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doubt the best truest way to build real

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confidence is to overcome your

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self-doubt you basically need to prove

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to yourself that you are capable and

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every single limiting belief you have

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about yourself is false because that's

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the thing that's holding you back from

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developing real confidence in my opinion

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the only way to do this and I practice

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this all the time is consistently

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stepping out of your comfort zone this

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is where we start building a portfolio

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of proof that we are confident and we

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are deserving and we can do anything we

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put our minds to which is Ultimate

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confidence for example I would say I'm a

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pretty confident person but I still get

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very nervous meeting new people going on

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photo shoots every single time a day

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comes where I'm like oh my God I have to

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go out and meet a bunch of new people

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today I'm so scared and I want to cancel

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so bad because it's so uncomfortable I

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don't want to do it I want to stay in my

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bedroom and be in my little cocoon and

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be an introvert in peace do I do that no

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I force myself every single time I have

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to meet the photographer I have to meet

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these new people I have to put myself in

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that situation where I'm forced into

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being an extrovert even though that's

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not natural for me is it uncomfortable

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for the first five minutes absolutely

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because I don't want to do it once I'm

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that and I'm doing it and then I've

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completed it I've come home what do I

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feel like I feel amazing I feel on top

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of the world I'm like wow actually that

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wasn't as scary as I thought it would be

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and I survived it and everything was

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okay so then I do it again and then the

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second time I do it it's also not that

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scary it's actually way less scary than

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it was the first time and then wow now I

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can do it the third time without even

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wanting to cancel and once you

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consistently prove to yourself that I

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could put myself in an unfamiliar

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situation and get through it your

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self-doubt will fade away because it has

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nothing to go off of whereas the fastest

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way to grow your self-doubt which is the

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ultimate confidence killer is by

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consistently saying you're gonna do

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something and then never doing it if you

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live that life you will never attain

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confidence confidence tip number four

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embarrassment is a choice it's literally

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just a concept in fact it's a social

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construct you can literally choose not

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to be embarrassed every single time you

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choose to feel embarrassed you feel

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unconfident you're like oh my God I feel

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so insecure I can't believe I did that

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but why is it that deep why are you

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beating yourself up for like making a

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mistake or like if you fell over in

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public okay so okay and are you gonna

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see any of those people again no it's

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normal it happens the fastest way to

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desensitize yourself to being cringed or

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being embarrassing is through exposure

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therapy and what this means is

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constantly putting yourself out there

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once again linking back to the stepping

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outside of your comfort zone and doing

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things that normally would kind of make

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you feel embarrassed or cringe and you

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are now intentionally doing those things

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so you're signaling to your brain oh

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look I'm doing this and it's fine and

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it's not embarrassing it's not cringy

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for example filming yourself in public

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being a YouTuber very hard to do I had

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to force myself to do it the first few

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times I did it I went to hide my camera

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away I don't want to make eye contact

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with anyone if a bunch of people working

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towards me I'd literally put my vlogging

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camera away and I'd stop because I'd

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feel so cringy and embarrassing now I do

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it in the back of my mind I'm like oh my

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God this is so scary what are people

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thinking I grabbed my vlogging camera I

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hold it high and I'm walking through a

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bunch of people in the middle of the

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city center vlogging speaking to myself

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in front of a camera and I'm from a

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small town so people can be very judgy

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about this and everyone's staring at me

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and in my head I'm like I'm doing it I'm

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fine nothing's happening to me this is

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safe and I'm gonna get the content I

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need and I don't care what any of these

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people say because I'm never going to

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see them again oh you don't like what I

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did or you think that's cringy or you

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think like me falling over whatever is

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embarrassing okay but your approval

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isn't that deep to me so

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I'm just gonna carry on with my life

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over here and probably never see you

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again but literally like next time you

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catch yourself feeling embarrassed just

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remember what you're saying to yourself

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is that that random person like whoever

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they are their approval matters more to

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you that you are now going to put

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yourself through feelings of guilt and

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shame because you're so concerned about

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what somebody else thinks about you for

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like five seconds of their day because

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after the first five seconds they're

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gonna forget about you

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let that sink in like literally my

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validation and my approval is the only

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thing that matters to me so see ya

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embarrassment is literally just fear and

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anticipation of the negative opinions

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other people might have of you just let

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that sink in for a second and realize

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how crazy it is at the end of the day

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nobody has any grounds to stand on when

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it comes to judging me you know why

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because everybody's cringe everybody's

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cringe some people are just better at

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hiding it than others and to those

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people I say shame on you shame on you

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own your cringe okay why are you out

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here hiding it you are not being

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authentic because you are so concerned

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with what other people think about you

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and I'm sorry but that that right there

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is embarrassing and you're probably

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gonna feel embarrassed when I say that

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because you haven't desensitized

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yourself to be in cringed and because

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now I have a negative opinion of you

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you're gonna take that on do you see how

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ridiculous that is why do you care what

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I think I'm a stranger I'm literally

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talking to you through a screen right

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now anyways I need to just calm down and

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take a deep breath I'm just very

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passionate about this like just openly

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be cringe and just be authentic because

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let me tell you the benefits to being

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being authentic are endless and lastly

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if you think people are judging you what

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other people think you're embarrassing

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what that really means and this is a

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fact

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that means that you're judging yourself

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if you think other people are gonna

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think what you're doing is embarrassing

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that means you think what you're doing

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is embarrassing and you need to reverse

play10:12

that mindset and work back from it

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because I judge myself all the time I

play10:16

was like vlogging in public and taking

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pictures of myself by myself with a

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tripod at public with people staring at

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me and walking past and I felt shame

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that I shouldn't be doing that you know

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people are going to walk past and

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they're going to think who is this girl

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and like she thinks she's some sort of

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celebrity why why did I feel bad about

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that I'm not hurting anybody I'm not

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doing anything bad so I had to stop

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judging myself and I had to condition

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myself into thinking this is okay it's

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okay to film yourself in public and take

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pictures yes maybe it's not normal but

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it's okay and I don't need to be so

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harsh on myself about that and once I

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was kinder to myself which is once again

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like I mentioned before where

play10:48

affirmations come into play

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automatically I'm gonna stop thinking

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that everybody around me is judging me

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because what is there to judge

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confidence tip number five authenticity

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real confidence is destroying the fear

play10:58

of being authentic don't get it twisted

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okay 90 of people on this planet are so

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terrified of being authentic that they

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follow the crowd and they want to be

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like everybody else and just fit in

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that's an actual like psychological fact

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that people just think the way that

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they'd rather just fit in with everyone

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even if they're not fully being

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themselves and that's so messed up don't

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let it be you and I'm not judging okay

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I'm not judging because I used to be the

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same I wanted people to like me and I

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want to make friends and just like be

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approved of because I had no internal

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confidence so I just used to do whatever

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I had to do to fit in with everybody

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else but you know what yes half the time

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that will work people will like you

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because you're being just like them but

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you know what that will also cause so

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much resentment because you're not being

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yourself and you you don't you lose

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yourself you don't even know who you are

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so let's cut that out right now and

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let's talk about authenticity instead

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because ever since I decided to start

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living authentically so many more

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blessings have come to me in my life the

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benefits include attracting people that

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actually meant for you when I'm if I'm

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being cringy or passionate like online

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and fully being myself instead of like

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trying to be what I think people want

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from me like yes it might mean a lot of

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people don't like me because they think

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I'm too loud or cringe or whatever but

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the few people that do like me are the

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people that are actually meant for me

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because I'm attracting people who match

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my energy and my vibe if I'm constantly

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being fake and trying to fit in how do I

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know that the people in my life are

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actually meant for me and love and

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appreciate me for who I am being

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authentic means you're going to attract

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the opportunities that are meant for you

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if you're putting yourself out there

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with like filming in public for example

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who knows who might Scout you who knows

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who wants to hire you as a credit career

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or a model do the things that are real

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to you so you can get where you're meant

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to be in life you know don't chase jobs

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or passions that you think you're meant

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to do because you're never going to be

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happy that way and lastly of course

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being authentic means that you are going

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to get a new found sense of confidence

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and reach your higher self you are going

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to be putting out the best energy and

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operating at such a high frequency and

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vibration because you're finally being

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yourself there's no resentment there's

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no constantly worrying about okay but

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how am I presenting myself and dressing

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and acting you don't have to constantly

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check yourself on everything because

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you're just living freely and being

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yourself and when you get used to living

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like your real self then you also fall

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in love with yourself and you learn more

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about who you are as a person and

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develop the confidence that goes with

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that so how do I actually become

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authentic this is how first and foremost

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get to know yourself fully the more you

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know about who you are at your core the

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more that is to respect and admire and

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fall in love with okay maybe Journal

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about it really Journey inwards okay

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what are my principles what are my

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values what do I love what are my

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absolute pet peeves what do I stand for

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what do I stand against what are my

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passions how do I treat people how do I

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want to be loved and eventually what

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that's going to transfer into is I

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really love and appreciate my passions

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or my desire to help other people or how

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much I care about my siblings or my

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parents I love my desire to create art

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and Inspire and it goes on and on and on

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but if you're constantly trying to fit

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into the crowd you could never say those

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things about yourself you're just

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eventually losing your individuality and

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your uniqueness to fit in with the

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majority and what is there to live about

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yourself if you're not being yourself

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next explore your values your weaknesses

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your strengths your weaknesses your

play13:59

Styles your preferences and then act

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accordingly embody that every single day

play14:04

for example I love wearing super bright

play14:06

colors I love wearing massive jewelry is

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that the biggest Trend at the moment no

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everybody loves the tiny little gold

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hoops which are also cute but I love

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these does that mean I fit in or I'm

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following the latest fashion crazes and

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styles and trends like no but that's

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okay because I'm being myself and I feel

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a little better about myself because I'm

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following that you might really like a

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particular aesthetic but you stray away

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from that because you want to look good

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to the other gender or to your friends

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or to society whatever and that's

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destroying your confidence because

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you're telling yourself it doesn't

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matter what I like and it doesn't matter

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who I want to be I have to be somebody

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else in order to be accepted which is

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false and that's just breeding extra

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insecurity you know if you have a super

play14:39

controversial opinion that other people

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might not agree with own it say it as

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long as it's not hurting anybody and

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it's not like really inappropriate own

play14:47

it because yeah five or six people might

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hate you for having that opinion and

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they're like you're so wrong but one or

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two people that hear it might be like yo

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like I have the same opinion and I was

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so scared to say it and then you Bond

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and then that's like an actual real

play15:00

friend who likes you for you instead of

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all these five or six people that you

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don't even align with and finally if

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you're authentic and someone tries to

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hate on you you own it because when

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you're being authentic you're telling

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yourself me being real Trump's being

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liked by everybody I know not

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everybody's gonna like my fully

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authentic self and that's okay when

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you're trying to fit in with everybody

play15:18

you're telling yourself that being liked

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by everybody is more important than

play15:21

being myself confidence tip number six

play15:23

confidence equals real love if you are

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not fully and completely in love with

play15:30

who you are you will never reach full

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confidence for example if you only feel

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really good about yourself and confident

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when your makeup is done and when you've

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got the cutest outfit on when you've got

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straight A's in your exams when you got

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the job the achievement when you went to

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the gym every single day for a week and

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then you feel good about yourself yeah

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that's great but that's not real

play15:46

confidence the reason that confidence

play15:47

comes from self-love is self-love is all

play15:49

about loving yourself no matter what

play15:51

okay self-love isn't built on attaching

play15:54

your Worth to external achievements like

play15:56

hitting the gym or winning an award or

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getting your dream job or making a

play16:00

certain amount of money real self-love

play16:01

is even if I have I'm going to the gym

play16:04

all month it's okay I'm still attractive

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and I'm so lovable and desirable and

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completely whole and worthy as a human

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being that's where confidence comes from

play16:12

because if you are attaching your

play16:14

confidence and self-love to external

play16:16

things like grades and opportunities and

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success

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once those things start to crumble away

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or you're having a bad day at work or

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you got fired or whatever all of your

play16:24

confidence and self-love is going to

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drift away with that opportunity because

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you attached your confidence and

play16:29

self-love to that thing it needs to be

play16:31

attached internally to who you are

play16:33

self-love isn't just acknowledging all

play16:35

of your favorite qualities it's

play16:36

acknowledging all of your past mistakes

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your flaws your weaknesses all of the

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stuff you're super bad at and accepting

play16:42

them and being like that's okay that's

play16:44

who I am and I'm gonna own it you

play16:46

forgive yourself and you understand that

play16:48

all of those flaws and Imperfections are

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necessary factors to get you to where

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you need to be or like all of the past

play16:54

mistakes you've made have been important

play16:55

factors in getting you to the growth of

play16:57

your current self so remember if you

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failed an exam that doesn't Define my

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intelligence or how capable I am in the

play17:03

future or that I won't be successful in

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life if I got rejected by that boy or

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girl that doesn't mean that I'm not

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desirable and I won't find Love Don't

play17:11

let failures and external things Define

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your character and your worth it should

play17:15

all come from the inside and from the

play17:17

love you have for yourself and once you

play17:19

you master that your confidence will

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naturally grow alongside it and the last

play17:23

confidence tip number seven

play17:27

your younger self engage in conversation

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with your younger self close your eyes

play17:31

and literally Envision them standing in

play17:34

front of your current self if you have

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to now look at how far you've come no

play17:37

actually look at how far you've come

play17:39

because all of us are constantly

play17:41

programmed to think about how far we

play17:43

have to go and how much progress we have

play17:45

to make that we rarely just stop and

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pause to reflect on everything we've

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achieved thus far and how great we're

play17:51

actually doing you can still have a long

play17:53

way to go before you get to your dream

play17:55

place in life and you can still be

play17:57

grateful for all of this stuff all of

play17:59

the obstacles that you've already

play18:00

overcome even if they're only a few and

play18:02

you still have majority of the journey

play18:03

to go that's okay but remember to

play18:06

reflect and be grateful on everything

play18:07

you've already done so I don't care if

play18:09

you failed your exam or you haven't got

play18:11

your dream job or you haven't found your

play18:12

soulmate because instead you should be

play18:14

looking at every single small win you've

play18:17

achieved in the past things you've got

play18:19

now that you're taking for granted

play18:20

because realistically your younger self

play18:22

could have only dreamed of having what

play18:24

you currently have even even if you

play18:26

haven't achieved your wider stream you

play18:27

still have to things now that your

play18:28

younger self didn't have and that is

play18:30

something to celebrate and constantly be

play18:31

grateful for the new circle of friends

play18:33

you have the opportunities you have

play18:34

where you live your new wardrobe that

play18:36

you own your new skills the wisdom you

play18:38

have the lessons you've learned over the

play18:40

last few years see this step is crucial

play18:41

in building your confidence because it's

play18:43

constantly reassuring you that you are

play18:45

succeeding and you are capable of doing

play18:47

even more when you see how far you've

play18:48

come it will provide motivation for you

play18:50

to keep going because if you've got all

play18:51

of this stuff already from that pasta

play18:53

then you can get even more in the future

play18:55

and this ultimately builds confidence in

play18:57

your intelligence your abilities and

play18:58

your determination take me for an

play19:00

example I am not nearly where I want to

play19:02

be in life I'm only 22 years old I've

play19:04

got so far so long to go I still live

play19:07

with my family I just about finished uni

play19:09

I haven't traveled the world yet I

play19:11

haven't bought my first designer bag yet

play19:13

I got a lot of things to take off my

play19:14

to-do list trust me but I constantly

play19:16

remember that if my 15 year old self

play19:18

Could See Me Now she'd be like whoa she

play19:21

would be so impressed like actually if

play19:24

my 15 year old self is walking down the

play19:25

street and my current 22 year old self

play19:27

is walking past her she would look at me

play19:29

in awe like she would be so jealous of

play19:31

me she'd want to be me so bad like so

play19:32

bad and that's how I know I'm doing like

play19:34

a live but yeah okay maybe I haven't

play19:36

moved up and maybe I haven't done all

play19:37

the big things in the world but I still

play19:39

made significant progress that my

play19:40

younger self is proud of me and that is

play19:42

all I want that is the most important

play19:44

win and by constantly reminding myself

play19:46

that by the age of 22 I've already

play19:48

become someone that my younger self

play19:49

would be so impressed with that gives me

play19:51

so much motivation to keep going just to

play19:53

see how far I can take it because when

play19:55

you constantly remind yourself of

play19:56

everything you've done so far and all of

play19:57

the small wins that just builds

play19:58

confidence in yourself and your

play19:59

abilities and you're like I've done this

play20:01

much I can keep going and getting more

play20:02

and if you look at this from the big

play20:03

picture really it's about having an

play20:05

abundance mindset and reminding yourself

play20:07

of how much you can do how much you have

play20:09

done and yes maybe it's not everything

play20:11

you've ever wanted to do but start

play20:12

focusing on the good not the lack and

play20:15

that brings us to the end of this video

play20:17

I hope you guys enjoyed this video I

play20:18

absolutely loved it I was definitely

play20:19

getting way too passionate in some part

play20:21

of this video just because confidence

play20:22

truly changed my life if any of you

play20:25

could see like actually talk to the

play20:27

version of me like from a few years ago

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you would not believe that I was that

play20:29

shy and that quiet and I've transformed

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into a completely different kind of

play20:33

person which is so possible for each and

play20:35

every one of you watching this as well

play20:36

if you're not already following me on

play20:37

Tick Tock make sure you do because I

play20:38

always post confidence tips on there and

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also check out my Instagram if you're

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feeling it and for now if you really

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want some more confidence tips then make

play20:44

sure you check out the first confidence

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video ever posted it will be tagged

play20:47

somewhere on the screen if not in the

play20:48

description I hope you guys have a

play20:50

lovely day and I'll see you guys in my

play20:51

next video bye

play20:53

[Music]

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