Why your Friends don't respect you?

Summary

In this video, Prakar Gupta shares a framework for gaining respect in various social settings, especially when you feel overlooked. He explains that respect is built on competence and uniqueness. The key strategies he offers include excelling in areas others don't, surpassing others in shared fields, speaking confidently, and developing physical strength. Additionally, he emphasizes the importance of respecting oneself by following through on personal promises, which ultimately leads to earning self-respect. This mindset shift helps individuals transform from people-pleasers to respected figures in any room or social circle.

Takeaways

• 😀 Respect is the currency through which importance is denoted, reducing uncertainty and social exclusion in human interactions.
• 😀 Historically, respect was tied to physical strength and social status, but now competence and personal contributions are just as important.
• 😀 Respect can be earned through competence and how you position yourself in a group, rather than through people-pleasing behaviors.
• 😀 The formula for respect is a combination of difference in competence and how competent you are in a particular area.
• 😀 Even if you don't agree with someone's views, you can still respect them if they are articulate and competent in presenting their arguments.
• 😀 If you are in a group where you are not respected, leaving the group is often the best solution to preserve your dignity.
• 😀 Shift from being a people-pleaser to becoming a people-magnet by acquiring new skills, expertise, and creating value in unique ways.
• 😀 To become a people-magnet, master something your peers do not do and gain proficiency in it.
• 😀 Compete in the same domain as others but aim to outperform them by improving your skills and knowledge, especially in intellectual settings.
• 😀 Effective communication and the ability to speak well are essential for gaining respect and presenting yourself confidently.
• 😀 Developing physical strength and self-defense skills can signal dominance and command respect on a primal level.
• 😀 The hardest respect to earn is self-respect, which is achieved by consistently following through on your own promises and commitments.

Q & A

What is the primary concept of respect in the context of this video?

Respect is described as the 'currency' that denotes importance. It is closely tied to competence and social value. In historical terms, respect was linked to physical strength and later evolved to include social status and economic success.

How does the formula for respect work according to the video?

The formula for earning respect is 'competence + difference.' Respect is gained when there is a noticeable difference in your abilities or knowledge compared to others. Even if you disagree with someone, their competence in articulating their position can still command your respect.

What is the first step in Prakar Gupta's framework for earning respect?

The first step is to leave a group that does not respect you. Remaining in a group where you are not respected places you in the role of a people pleaser, which reinforces the lack of respect from others.

What does it mean to shift from being a 'people pleaser' to a 'people magnet'?

Shifting from a people pleaser to a people magnet involves focusing on self-improvement and excelling in areas that others do not. It means becoming someone others are naturally drawn to, rather than seeking validation from them.

What are the three strategies to become a 'people magnet' as described in the video?

["1. Do something others don't do and get good at it (e.g., learning a new skill).","2. Play the same game as others but play it better (e.g., improving in areas where others are also competing).","3. Learn to speak well and communicate effectively, which helps in gaining respect from others."]

How does physical strength contribute to respect in the framework?

Physical strength or self-defense skills are seen as signals of dominance and self-reliance. Having physical capabilities can subtly communicate to others that you are not to be messed with, thereby contributing to respect in social situations.

Why is self-respect considered the most important form of respect?

Self-respect is the hardest respect to earn because it forms the foundation for how you interact with the world. Without self-respect, external respect becomes less meaningful. Following through on your promises to yourself is the key to earning self-respect.

What is the simplest way to earn self-respect according to Prakar Gupta?

The simplest way to earn self-respect is to consistently follow through on the promises you make to yourself, whether it's committing to a workout routine, studying, or achieving specific goals.

How does speaking well affect the way others perceive you?

Speaking well is a powerful tool because it helps you present yourself in a way that makes you appear more competent. Even if your actual skills are lower, speaking effectively can elevate your perceived status and gain you respect.

What psychological shift is key to gaining respect in any group or room?

The key psychological shift is realizing that the hardest person to earn respect from is yourself. When you respect yourself by fulfilling your promises, it becomes easier to earn respect from others, and you will no longer feel disrespected in any situation.