Social Media Is Not Social, It’s Just Media | Stephanie Reina | TEDxNoVA

Summary

In this talk, the speaker explores the impact of social media on our lives, arguing that it often serves as a superficial form of connection rather than fostering deep, meaningful relationships. The speaker shares personal experiences, highlighting the shift from mindless scrolling to more intentional use of time, like reading. They challenge the assumption that social media helps maintain close friendships, suggesting that true connections are nurtured through conversations, not likes or posts. The speaker encourages viewers to reduce screen time and engage in more genuine, face-to-face interactions, offering practical advice for reclaiming time and fostering authentic relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Social media can become a source of anxiety and distraction, often wasting more time than intended.
• 📱 Deleting social media apps from your phone can help reduce screen time and free up more time for productive activities like reading.
• 📚 Implementing New Year's resolutions like reading more books can be challenging when social media habits are not addressed.
• ⌛ Social media feeds can consume an excessive amount of time, sometimes turning a quick check into an hour or more of scrolling.
• 💬 Interactions on social media, such as likes and comments, are often superficial and do not foster meaningful connections.
• 🔄 Research suggests that true closeness in relationships is built through messages and conversations, not passive interactions like likes or shares.
• 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Social media allows us to maintain weak ties, but it does not contribute significantly to deepening close friendships.
• 📝 The number of people we can meaningfully connect with is limited, with studies showing we can only maintain around five close relationships.
• 👥 Social media is often more about broadcasting content than engaging in real, two-way communication with friends.
• 📞 Genuine connections are nurtured through phone calls or face-to-face interactions, not just by viewing or liking posts on social media.
• 🌐 Social media should be used thoughtfully, as a tool for organizing events or connecting with people in real life, rather than for shallow interactions.

Q & A

Why did the speaker decide to reduce their social media usage?

The speaker decided to reduce social media usage because it was causing anxiety and distractions. They found themselves spending a significant amount of time on social media, which they realized could be better spent on more fulfilling activities, like reading.

What was the speaker’s main strategy for reducing screen time?

The speaker deleted social media apps from their phone, which helped to eliminate the temptation to scroll. They also kept a good selection of books nearby to fill the time previously spent on social media.

Did the speaker completely delete their social media accounts?

No, the speaker did not delete their social media accounts. They kept the profiles but only accessed them from a computer, which diminished the appeal and reduced the amount of time spent on them.

What was the reaction from the speaker’s students about reducing social media usage?

The students were hesitant to reduce their social media usage because they valued it as a way to stay connected with friends. For them, social media provided an easy and familiar way to communicate.

What does the speaker argue is the primary purpose of social media?

The speaker argues that social media serves primarily as a source of entertainment and information, rather than a tool for maintaining close relationships. They compare it to watching TV or reading a magazine, where the content is personalized to the user’s preferences.

How does the speaker differentiate between genuine connections and superficial interactions on social media?

The speaker suggests that social media interactions, like liking posts or leaving short comments, are superficial and do not contribute meaningfully to relationships. Genuine connections, on the other hand, are formed through real conversations and deeper interactions.

What research does the speaker cite to support their argument about superficial social media interactions?

The speaker refers to studies by scientists from K-Mel University and Facebook, which suggest that brief interactions like likes or comments are less effective in building closeness compared to more personal communication such as messages or in-depth comments.

What alternative ways does the speaker suggest for staying connected with friends, aside from social media?

The speaker suggests using phone calls, video chats, or meeting in person as alternative ways to stay connected. They emphasize that social media should not be the sole means of communication, as it cannot replace the intimacy and depth of direct conversations.

Why does the speaker believe that social media can create an illusion of closeness?

The speaker believes social media creates an illusion of closeness because it allows people to stay updated on each other’s lives through posts, but these updates often lack depth and do not foster genuine emotional connections. Relationships take real effort and communication, not just passive consumption of posts.

What examples does the speaker give to show that relationships are maintained through more than just social media?

The speaker gives the example of long-distance relationships, where communication is maintained through phone calls and video chats, not just by liking each other's posts. They also mention how people didn’t rely on social media during the pandemic, but instead made an effort to connect through Zoom and FaceTime calls.