The Dangerous Games of the Covert Narcissist #narcissist #npd #personalitydisorder
Summary
TLDRThis video unmasks the covert narcissist's manipulative tactics, revealing how they use a facade of innocence, feigned compassion, and intellectual superiority to exploit others. It also discusses triangulation, the 'poor me' game, false humility, gaslighting, silent treatment, emotional withholding, and exploiting insecurities. The video serves as a guide to recognize these behaviors and protect oneself from such toxic relationships.
Takeaways
- đ· Covert narcissists are subtle and wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood to hide their manipulative behaviors.
- đ„ș They often play the victim to gain sympathy and make others feel responsible for their emotional well-being.
- đ€ Feigning compassion, they pretend to be empathetic but their actions are driven by a need for admiration, not genuine concern.
- đ§ They present themselves as intellectually superior, subtly belittling others to assert dominance and maintain control.
- đŁïž Triangulation is used to create discord and competition among people in their lives by spreading gossip or half-truths.
- đą The 'poor me' tactic is employed to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them and to gain narcissistic supply.
- đ ââïž False humility and superiority are used to keep others in a position of inferiority without appearing overtly arrogant.
- đŹ Gaslighting is used to distort reality and make victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, or feelings.
- đ The silent treatment and passive aggression are tactics used to control and punish, creating anxiety and distress in the victim.
- đ€ Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation where love, affection, and support are withheld to create a sense of longing and dependency.
- đ”ïžââïž They exploit the insecurities of others, using them to undermine their target's confidence and keep them dependent on the narcissist for validation.
Q & A
What is a covert narcissist?
-A covert narcissist is a type of narcissistic personality that is more subtle and harder to detect compared to overt narcissists. They wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood, making their manipulative behaviors difficult to spot until significant damage is done.
What is the facade of innocence?
-The facade of innocence is a deceptive aspect of a covert narcissist where they present themselves as gentle, caring, and self-sacrificing to manipulate others and gain sympathy.
How do covert narcissists use victimhood to their advantage?
-Covert narcissists often play the victim, making others feel responsible for their emotional well-being. They may share stories about past traumas to position themselves as fragile and in need of care, which can disarm targets and make them overlook the narcissist's manipulative behavior.
What is the difference between feigned compassion and true empathy?
-Feigned compassion is when covert narcissists pretend to be empathetic and compassionate when it suits their agenda, often in public or when others are watching. True empathy, however, is consistent and not limited to moments where it can be witnessed by others.
How do covert narcissists use intellectual superiority to manipulate others?
-Covert narcissists may present themselves as intellectually superior, subtly belittling others' intelligence or ideas. They might use complex language or obscure references to make others feel inadequate, asserting dominance and maintaining control in relationships.
What is triangulation and how is it used by covert narcissists?
-Triangulation is a tactic used by covert narcissists to create discord and competition among people in their lives. They pit one person against another by spreading gossip or half-truths to create mistrust and rivalry, allowing them to maintain control and power.
What is the 'poor me' game and how does it relate to narcissistic supply?
-The 'poor me' game is when covert narcissists exaggerate their struggles and vulnerabilities to paint themselves as helpless victims. This is a way to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them, which provides a premium narcissistic supply.
How does false humility manifest in covert narcissists?
-False humility in covert narcissists is when they downplay their achievements or feign modesty while seeking validation and admiration from others. This subtle form of superiority is designed to keep others in a position of inferiority without appearing overtly arrogant.
What is gaslighting and how do covert narcissists use it?
-Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where covert narcissists distort reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, or feelings. This can erode the victim's self-confidence and sense of reality, leaving them dependent on the narcissist for validation.
How do covert narcissists use silent treatment and passive aggression?
-Covert narcissists use passive aggressive tactics like the silent treatment to control and punish their victims. Instead of openly expressing displeasure or anger, they withdraw affection or communication, causing the target to feel anxious and distressed, and desperate to figure out what's wrong.
What is emotional withholding and why do covert narcissists use it?
-Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation where covert narcissists withhold love, affection, approval, or emotional support to punish or control their victim. By creating an emotional vacuum, they keep their target in a state of longing and uncertainty, making them more dependent on the narcissist for emotional fulfillment.
How do covert narcissists exploit insecurities?
-Covert narcissists are skilled at identifying and exploiting the insecurities of others, using them to undermine their target's confidence. They may bring up past failures or vulnerabilities at opportune moments to keep their victim feeling inadequate and dependent on the narcissist for validation.
Outlines
đ Unmasking the Covert Narcissist's Dangerous Games
The video begins by introducing the concept of covert narcissism, highlighting the subtle and hard-to-detect nature of these individuals compared to their overt counterparts. The narrator emphasizes the importance of recognizing the manipulative behaviors of covert narcissists, who often wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood. The video then transitions to promoting a new online community called 'The Recovery Circle,' which offers resources and support for individuals dealing with narcissistic behaviors. The first manipulative tactic discussed is the 'facade of innocence,' where covert narcissists present themselves as gentle and caring to gain sympathy and manipulate others. The video advises viewers to be wary of inconsistencies and the constant need for validation through victimhood, which are red flags of covert narcissism.
đ° Covert Narcissist's Tactics: Triangulation, Poor Me, and False Humility
This paragraph delves into the tactics of triangulation, where covert narcissists create discord by pitting people against each other through gossip and half-truths. The narrator advises viewers to be cautious of such behaviors and to verify the information they receive. The 'poor me' tactic is also discussed, where narcissists play the victim to elicit sympathy and support. The video warns against the consistent use of guilt and pity as a means of control. Additionally, the paragraph addresses the use of false humility and superiority, where covert narcissists downplay their achievements while seeking admiration, a subtle way to assert dominance. The narrator encourages viewers to look for patterns of behavior that suggest a focus on power rather than genuine support.
đ€ Emotional Manipulation and Exploitation by Covert Narcissists
The final paragraph covers more manipulative tactics such as gaslighting, where covert narcissists distort reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions. The narrator describes how this can lead to a loss of self-confidence and dependence on the narcissist for validation. The silent treatment and passive aggression are also highlighted as methods of control and punishment, causing anxiety and distress in the victim. Emotional withholding is another tactic where narcissists create a vacuum of emotional support to keep their targets dependent. The paragraph concludes with the exploitation of insecurities, where covert narcissists use vulnerabilities to undermine their targets' confidence and maintain control. The video ends with a call to action for viewers to like, subscribe, and follow the channel for more content on this topic.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄCovert Narcissist
đĄFacade of Innocence
đĄVictimhood
đĄFeigning Empathy
đĄIntellectual Superiority
đĄTriangulation
đĄGaslighting
đĄSilent Treatment
đĄEmotional Withholding
đĄFalse Humility
Highlights
Covert narcissists are more subtle and harder to detect than overt narcissists.
They wear a mask of humility, sensitivity, or victimhood to hide their manipulative behaviors.
The facade of innocence is a primary tool for covert narcissists to gain sympathy.
They often play the victim to make others feel responsible for their emotional well-being.
Feigning compassion and empathy is a common tactic used by covert narcissists.
They may pretend to be empathetic only when it suits their agenda.
Covert narcissists present themselves as intellectually superior to belittle others.
Triangulation is used to create discord and competition among people in their lives.
The 'poor me' game is used to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them.
False humility and superiority is a dead giveaway of covert narcissists.
Gaslighting is a hallmark of narcissistic abuse, used to distort reality and make victims doubt themselves.
The silent treatment and passive aggression are used to control and punish.
Emotional withholding is a form of manipulation used to create an emotional vacuum.
Covert narcissists exploit the insecurities of others to maintain power and control.
The video introduces 'The Recovery Circle', an online community for support and resources.
Consistent patterns of behavior that suggest a focus on maintaining power over genuine support.
The importance of recognizing when someone's advice or actions lead to negative outcomes.
The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to engage with the content and the community.
Transcripts
[Music]
in today's video we are exposing the
covert narcissist dangerous games covert
narcissists are among the most Insidious
of all narcissistic personalities unlike
their overt counterparts who are often
loud and arrogant and visibly
self-centered covert narcissists are
more subtle and harder to detect they
wear a mask of humility sensitivity or
victimhood making their manipulative
behaviors difficult to spot until the
damage is done so in today's video we
are exposing the dangerous games covert
narcissist play so you will know what to
watch out for but first I want to let
everyone know about our new Online
private community that just launched
it's called The Recovery Circle where
you will have unlimited access to all of
the course material I have built you'll
have access to weekly Q&A live streams
with me and group meetings and it's a
safe space where you can tell your story
and build friendships with other
survivors the link is in the description
below and I hope to see you there so now
let's get into to the unmasking of the
covert narcissist dangerous games and
the first one we are going to talk about
is the facad of Innocence one of the
most deceptive aspects of a covert
narcissist is their carefully
constructed facade of Innocence they
often present themselves as gentle
caring and even self-sacrificing
individuals this facade is their primary
tool for manipulating others and gaining
sympathy so covert narcissist will often
play the victim making others feel
responsible for their emotional
well-being they may share stories about
past traumas or hardships subtly
positioning themselves as fragile and in
need of care and this tactic can disarm
the targets making them more likely to
overlook or excuse the narcissist
manipulative Behavior always remember
covert narcissists love to manipulate
and exploit people using guilt and pity
so if you are concerned that a covert
narcissist is involved in your life pay
attention to inconsistencies in their
stories or behaviors do they often
position themselves as the victim in
every situation do they seem to derive
pleasure from others sympathy the
constant need for validation through
victimhood is a huge huge red flag next
feigning compassion and empathy covert
narcissists are Masters at pretending to
be empathetic and compassionate when it
suits their agenda they might go out of
their way to help others especially if
they're in public or when others are
watching to craft an image of themselves
as kind-hearted and
selfless however this display is often
Hollow driven by the need for admiration
and approval rather than genuine concern
usually when this happens you will be
able to feel that it is inauthentic
there will be a phony feel to their
so-called empathy so if someone if
someone's acts of kindness seem
performative or are only shown in public
but they are cold or indifferent in
private they may they might be feigning
compassion true empathy is consistent
and not limited to moments where it can
be witnessed by others next they love
playing the intellectual Superior covert
narcissists often present themselves as
intellectually Superior to others subtly
belittling the intelligence or the ideas
of those around them they they might do
this by using complex language quoting
obscure references or questioning others
in a way that makes them feel inadequate
or ignorant even this is a way of
asserting dominance and maintaining
control in relationships so if someone
consistently makes you feel inferior or
unintelligent or if they always have to
be the smartest person in the room they
may be using intellectual superiority to
manipulate and control this Behavior
often leaves others feeling belittled or
doubting their own abilities next they
use triangulation and de guide and
Conquer strategies and all covert
narcissists love to use this one
triangulation is a tactic covert
narcissists use to create Discord and
competition among people in their lives
meaning they will often pit one person
against another by spreading gossip or
half-truths to create mistrust and
rivalry this allows them to maintain
control and power by keeping others off
balance and focused on each each other
rather than on the narcissist Behavior
so how do you recognize this game if you
notice that someone often talks
negatively about others or shares
information that seems intended to
create conflict they may be using
triangulation so be cautious about
believing everything they say or
consider discussing any concerns
directly with the other parties involved
I often say be careful what you hear
about someone because you just might be
hearing it from the problem next the
poor me game covert narcissists often
employ the poor me tactic to manipulate
others into feeling sorry for them that
is premium narcissistic Supply so they
will exaggerate their struggles play up
their vulnerabilities and paint
themselves as helpless victims which
unfortunately can lead their targets to
go out of their way to help support and
defend the narcissist even at their own
expense again remember they love to use
guilt and pity to control other people
and that's not normal guys people
generally do not want to be pied and if
someone in your life gives you the old
poor me number consistently be sure to
take a closer look because that is a big
red flag also if you find that someone's
advice or actions frequently leads to
negative outcomes for you consider
whether they might be intentionally
undermining you look for patterns of
behavior that suggest they are more
focused on maintaining power than on
genuinely supporting you next be on the
lookout for false humility and
superiority this is another dead
giveaway while overt narcissists are
blatantly arrogant covert narcissists
often mask their superiority in false
humility they might downplay their
achievements or Fain modesty all while
seeking validation and admiration from
others this subtle form of superiority
is designed to keep others in a position
of inferiority without appearing overtly
arrogant so be on the lookout for
someone who frequently makes
self-deprecating comments but seems to
enjoy when others contradict them with
praise this pattern of false humility is
often a way to fish for compliments and
reinforce their sense of superiority
next gaslighting and emotional
manipulation gaslighting is the Hallmark
of narcissistic abuse and covert
narcissists are particularly skilled at
it they subtly distort reality to make
their victims doubt their own
perceptions memories or feelings for
example they might insist that a
conversation or event never happened or
that it occurred differently than the
victim remembers over time this tactic
can erode the victim's self-confidence
and sense of reality leaving them
dependent on the narcissist for
validation so if you find yourself
consistently doubting your memory or
questioning your judgment after
interacting with someone you probably
should consider whether this person
might be gaslighting you another
dangerous game of the covert narcissist
is their use of the silent treatment and
passive aggression covert narcissists
often use passive aggressive tactics
like the silent treatment to control and
punish their victims instead of openly
expressing their displeasure or anger
they withdraw affection or communication
leaving the target to try and guess what
they did wrong this silent treatment can
last for days even weeks or sometimes
even months which usually will create
significant anxiety and distress in the
victim who can even start to feel
desperate to figure out what's wrong or
make amends which is the goal of the
covert narcissist along with
reestablishing dominance and a sense of
control over the target the silent
treatment in particular is one of the
more cruel forms of manipulation and
abuse tactics that covert narcissists
are prone to use and as I said because
of that it can make the target extremely
upset or even desperate to figure out
what's wrong remember normal adults
don't go silent when there's an issue or
a problem they openly communicate with
the other person so if you have someone
in your your life that gives you the
silent treatment you need to take a
closer look at this individual in my
opinion because you may be dealing with
a covert narcissist emotional
withholding is another game covert
narcissists absolutely love to use
emotional withholding is a subtle yet
powerful form of manipulation used by
covert narcissist where they withhold
love affection approval or emotional
support as a way to punish or control
their victim by creating an emotional
vacuum the narcissist keeps their Target
in a state of longing and uncertainty
making them more dependent on the
narcissist for emotional fulfillment
normal people do not withhold love
affection and emotional support from
people that they love so if you have
found yourself in a relationship where
you are constantly seeking approval or
affection that never seems to come or if
the emotional support is given only on
this person's terms emotional
withholding may be at play this tactic
is designed to keep you off balance and
emotionally dependent next they love to
exploit the insecurities of others
covert narcissists are skilled at
identifying the insecurities of others
and using them to their advantage they
might bring up past failures physical
flaws or other vulnerabilities at
opportune moments to undermine their
Target's confidence by praying on these
insecurities they keep their victim
feeling inadequate and dependent on the
narcissist for validation they may
disguise their exploitation of your
insecurities as a joke or even as
concern but don't buy into that
narrative anytime someone humiliates or
embar embes another human being no
matter how they present it is a big big
red flag okay that's going to do it for
today's video If you like this video
please give it a thumbs up and please
subscribe to my channel also follow me
on my other social media platforms the
links are in the description below
thanks for watching everyone
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