The TRAP of the HIGH-VALUE woman: every restaurant serves water

PsycHacks
8 Dec 202310:05

Summary

TLDRDr. Orion Taban discusses the 'Trap of the High Value Woman' in relationships, emphasizing the importance of understanding a man's perspective. He highlights the common issue where women, particularly in their 30s, seek relationships without offering unique value. Taban suggests that to attract a high-value man, women should consider providing consistent fantastic sex, child rearing, and obedient agreeableness to improve his quality of life. He challenges the stigma around traditional roles like cooking and cleaning, framing them as opportunities for intimate integration and value provision.

Takeaways

  • 👨‍⚕️ Dr. Orion Taban discusses the challenges high-value women face in finding fulfilling relationships from a man's perspective.
  • 🤔 The importance of understanding a man's perspective is highlighted, drawing a parallel to the necessity of understanding a customer's needs in marketing.
  • 💬 Women in their 30s seeking advice on starting a family often struggle with the expectations and commitments that come with relationships and family life.
  • 🎭 Role-play scenarios illustrate the difficulty women face in articulating their value to a potential partner beyond career and education.
  • 👨‍💼 Men with high value often already have support systems in place, diminishing the perceived value of a woman's professional accomplishments.
  • 👶 The conversation around children and child-rearing reveals the reluctance of many women to give up their careers for full-time parenting.
  • 💑 The expectation of a 50/50 partnership in child-rearing and household responsibilities is contrasted with the desire for a more successful partner.
  • 💃 Three key areas where women can provide value to a high-value man are identified: consistent fantastic sex, child rearing, and obedient agreeableness.
  • 🛒 Despite the possibility of purchasing services for sex, child rearing, and household help, there remains a stigma that offers an opportunity for women to fill these roles.
  • 🍲 Cooking and cleaning are presented as opportunities for women to integrate into a man's lifestyle, rather than as low-value labor.
  • 💡 The script challenges the pride that may prevent women from considering roles traditionally seen as servitude, suggesting it could be a path to intimacy and value in a relationship.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of Dr. Orion taban's talk?

    -The main topic of Dr. Orion taban's talk is the 'Trap of the High Value Woman' and how women can better understand the perspective of men to achieve the relationships they desire.

  • Why does Dr. Orion taban emphasize the importance of understanding a man's perspective?

    -Understanding a man's perspective is crucial because it allows women to make a value proposition that resonates with men, similar to how businesses must understand their potential customers to offer products that meet their needs.

  • What does Dr. Orion taban suggest is a common issue faced by women in their 30s seeking relationships?

    -A common issue is that women in their 30s are ready to start a family but struggle to find a suitable partner who meets their expectations and timeline, often due to a lack of understanding of what men value in a relationship.

  • What is the role-play scenario presented by Dr. Orion taban?

    -The role-play scenario involves a woman approaching a high-value man, seeking a lifelong commitment and support for a family, and the man questioning what value she brings to him that he doesn't already have.

  • What are the three things that Dr. Orion taban suggests a woman can provide to a straight high-value man?

    -The three things are consistent fantastic sex, children and child-rearing, and obedient agreeableness that improves the man's quality of life.

  • Why does Dr. Orion taban argue that women can still provide value in the marketplace despite the availability of services like cooking and cleaning?

    -He argues that even though services exist, providing these services personally can offer intimate integration into the man's lifestyle and make the woman indispensable, which is valuable in a relationship.

  • What is Dr. Orion taban's stance on the idea that cooking and cleaning are low-value labor?

    -He challenges this idea by comparing it to the service provided at a Michelin star restaurant, where even basic services are performed with excellence and enthusiasm, enhancing the overall experience. He suggests that these tasks can be opportunities for women to add value in a relationship.

  • How does Dr. Orion taban address the resistance from women towards performing tasks like cooking and cleaning?

    -He suggests that the resistance is an issue of pride and ego, and that women should consider these tasks as opportunities to integrate into the man's life and provide value, rather than seeing them as servitude.

  • What advice does Dr. Orion taban give to women who want to find a successful man to marry and have children with?

    -He advises them to be prepared to provide value that the man finds valuable, as a high-value man already has everything and may not need anything additional from a partner. He suggests finding ways to provide obedient agreeableness that work for the woman.

  • What does Dr. Orion taban consider to be women's greatest enemy?

    -Dr. Orion taban considers pride to be women's greatest enemy, as it often prevents them from entering into the relationships they desire with the men they want.

  • What is the final call to action from Dr. Orion taban to his audience?

    -He encourages the audience to reflect on whether the discussion fits with their own experiences and to share their thoughts in the comments, as well as to like the episode and consider subscribing to the channel or booking a paid one-on-one consultation.

Outlines

00:00

👨‍🏫 Dr. Orion Taban Discusses the 'Trap' of the High Value Woman

Dr. Orion Taban introduces the topic of the 'Trap' of the High Value Woman, emphasizing the importance of understanding a man's perspective when seeking a relationship. He shares his experience with consulting women, particularly those in their 30s looking to start a family, and the challenges they face in offering value in a relationship. Through a role-play scenario, he highlights the common issue of women struggling to articulate their unique value to a potential partner. He points out that while women often mention their intelligence and education, these qualities may not necessarily add value to a man's life if he already has access to such support through professionals. The discussion evolves into the realization that for a high-value man, a woman must provide something he doesn't already have, such as consistent fantastic sex, child rearing, or obedient agreeableness that improves his quality of life.

05:00

🍲 The Misunderstood Value of Cooking and Cleaning

Dr. Orion Taban delves into the common resistance women have towards activities like cooking and cleaning, which they perceive as low-value labor. He challenges this notion by comparing these tasks to the high-quality service provided by a Michelin star restaurant, where even simple tasks are done with excellence and enthusiasm. He argues that these activities can be opportunities for intimate integration into a man's lifestyle, rather than servitude. Dr. Taban suggests that modern technology has made these tasks less labor-intensive, and that pride is often the barrier preventing women from recognizing the value they can add through such acts. He encourages women to find ways to contribute that align with their values and comfort levels, and to consider the benefits of providing obedient agreeableness to improve a man's quality of life as a means of securing a desirable relationship.

10:02

🎧 Closing Thoughts and Invitation for Feedback

Dr. Orion Taban concludes the discussion by inviting listeners to share their thoughts and experiences related to the topics discussed. He encourages viewers to like the episode and subscribe to the channel for more content. Additionally, he offers the opportunity for viewers to become channel members with perks such as priority review of comments or booking a paid one-on-one consultation, reiterating his commitment to helping women understand and navigate the complexities of relationships and self-worth.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡High Value Woman

The term 'High Value Woman' refers to women who perceive themselves as having qualities that make them highly desirable in the context of relationships, often due to factors like education, career success, and personal attributes. In the video, Dr. Orion Taban discusses the challenges such women face in finding relationships that align with their expectations, highlighting a potential mismatch between what they offer and what high-value men might seek.

💡Perspective

Perspective, in the context of the video, refers to the viewpoint or standpoint from which one considers a situation or issue. Dr. Taban emphasizes the importance of women understanding the male perspective when seeking a relationship, drawing a parallel to how marketers need to see things from the customer's point of view to make a compelling value proposition.

💡Role Play

Role play is a method of practicing or exploring social situations by assuming the role of different characters. In the video, Dr. Taban uses role play as a technique to illustrate the dynamics between a woman seeking a specific relationship outcome and a man who is considered high value, revealing the expectations and potential mismatches in their desires.

💡Value Proposition

A value proposition is a promise of value to be delivered to a customer or partner. It outlines the unique benefits and reasons why a product or service is worth purchasing or engaging with. In the video, Dr. Taban discusses how women need to understand what value they bring to a potential partner and how it should resonate with the man's needs and wants.

💡Child Rearing

Child rearing refers to the process of raising and nurturing children, which involves not only providing for their physical needs but also their emotional, social, and educational development. In the video, Dr. Taban points out that one of the key values a woman can offer to a high-value man is the willingness and ability to raise children, which is a significant commitment and responsibility.

💡Obedient Agreeableness

Obedient agreeableness refers to a disposition of being compliant and willing to go along with another's wishes or decisions, often to improve their quality of life. In the context of the video, Dr. Taban suggests that this quality can be a valuable offering for women seeking relationships with high-value men, as it can enhance the man's lifestyle and overall experience.

💡Quality of Life

Quality of life refers to an individual's overall well-being and satisfaction with their life, which includes physical health, emotional state, personal relationships, and material comforts. In the video, Dr. Taban discusses how women can enhance a man's quality of life through their actions and the value they bring to a relationship, beyond just financial or professional contributions.

💡Pride

Pride, in the context of the video, is portrayed as an obstacle that can prevent women from recognizing and fulfilling the roles or tasks that could make them valuable in the eyes of a potential partner. Dr. Taban suggests that pride can be a barrier to forming relationships and that overcoming it is key to providing value in a relationship.

💡Michelin Star Restaurant

A Michelin Star Restaurant is a high-end dining establishment that has been recognized for its exceptional cuisine and service by the prestigious Michelin Guide. The video uses the analogy of a Michelin Star Restaurant to illustrate the concept of providing value by exceeding basic expectations and offering exceptional service.

💡Dark Horse

In the video, the term 'Dark Horse' is used metaphorically to refer to a less obvious or unexpected choice of partner. Dr. Taban suggests that women seeking a more equal partnership in terms of financial contribution and household responsibilities should consider finding a 'dark horse' - a man who is on a similar level as them, rather than aiming for a high-value man who may have different expectations.

💡Pride as Women's Greatest Enemy

In the video, pride is identified as a significant barrier for women, particularly in the context of relationships. Dr. Taban argues that pride can prevent women from recognizing and embracing the roles or tasks that could make them valuable in a relationship, thus hindering their ability to form the partnerships they desire.

Highlights

Dr. Orion taban discusses the 'Trap of the High Value Woman' in his talk.

The importance of understanding a man's perspective in forming relationships is emphasized, drawing a parallel to marketing strategies.

Women in their 30s seeking help for starting a family are a common client group.

A role-play scenario is used to illustrate the expectations and negotiations between men and women in relationships.

Men with high value expect something in return that they don't already have in their lives.

Three things a woman can provide to a high-value man are identified: consistent fantastic sex, children and child-rearing, and obedient agreeableness.

Despite the availability of services, there's a stigma attached to men purchasing sex, childcare, and domestic support.

The concept of 'obedient agreeableness' is explained as actions that improve a man's quality of life, such as cooking and cleaning.

Resistance to performing tasks like cooking and cleaning is seen as an issue of pride and ego.

The idea of high-end service is used to compare the value of domestic tasks in a relationship.

Modern technology has made household chores less time-consuming, challenging the notion of them being low-value labor.

Dr. Orion taban suggests that pride is the biggest enemy of women in relationships.

For women seeking a more successful partner, providing value that the man finds valuable is crucial.

Finding ways to contribute to a relationship that suit a woman's individual circumstances is recommended.

The talk concludes with an invitation for listeners to share their thoughts and engage with the content.

Transcripts

play00:01

I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psyx

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Better Living Through psychology and the

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topic of today's short talk is the Trap

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of the high value woman so I'm very

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happy to report that I've been doing a

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lot of consultations with women these

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days I love doing consultations with

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women because I love helping women see

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things from a man's perspective this is

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important because just like in marketing

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you kind of have to see things from the

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perspective of your potential customers

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so that you can make a value proposition

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that resonates with them insisting that

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people should simply buy what you're

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selling independent of their own wants

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and needs doesn't work so seeing things

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from a man's perspective will help women

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get the kinds of relationships that they

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want from the men they want to have

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those relationships with now a certain

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issue has come up repeatedly in these

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consultations so I thought I'd make an

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episode about it because if several

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women in the recent past have been

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struggling with this issue chances are

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very good that many many women are

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currently struggling with the same issue

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right now and it kind of goes like this

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usually these women come to me and they

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say Orion I'm in my 30s and I understand

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that my time is limited I'm ready to

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have a family in the next year or two

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and I need your help to make that happen

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and I say great let me help you do that

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so let do a little role play let's say

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that you're you and I'm the guy that you

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want to make things happen with okay if

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you come to me like this I'm going to

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say something like all right I just met

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you not too long ago and this is a

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little pushy but okay I'm willing to

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move things along to fit your timeline

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let's say I'm willing to give you a

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lifelong commitment and to provide for

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you and the children I make a lot of

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money a lot more than you do which is

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probably part of the reason why you

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singled me out so your quality of life

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should improve considerably if I take

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you on now what will I expect to receive

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in

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return and this question stumps a lot of

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women usually they first come back with

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some really highlevel stuff like I'm

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intelligent and educated and I would

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make a really supportive partner and in

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my roleplay I respond okay well that

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might be the case but I already have a

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lot of support in my life I have a

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therapist and a lawyer and a priest and

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various professional Consultants each

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one is an expert in his or her field and

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are specialized in the functions they

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serve in my life no offense but I don't

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think you're going to give me better

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advice than they can in the domains in

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which I consult them so that's not

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actually something that I need from you

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and then the women start to coton on a

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bit and they say oh okay well I can give

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you children right those people can't do

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that and I respond well almost any woman

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could give me children are you going to

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be a mother are you willing to quit your

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job and raise those kids most of the

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time the women are frightened by that

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Prospect and they reply no I'm not

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willing to give up my career or I would

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expect you to do your share of the child

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care too and so I counter so you're

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telling me that you're willing to be a

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surrogate and that I'll end up paying

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someone else to raise my children so

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that you can make a little more money at

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your

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job sometimes that irritates them and

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they respond that they don't think it's

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fair that they should do all the child

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care and that they're looking for a

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50/50 relationship and I reply that's

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totally fair but that means that you

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should probably be asking someone who

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makes around the same as you do that way

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you can both invest equally in the

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lifestyle that you jointly build that

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said you probably and understandably

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think what's the point of getting

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married if it's not going to

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significantly improve my situation which

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is why you're talking to me and and not

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some other guy and we go back and forth

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like this for a while until eventually

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we hit on the truth of the matter namely

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if I'm a high value guy the kind of guy

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that you want to get married to and have

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children with the only way that you're

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going to get what you want is by

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providing something that I don't already

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have and the more I have the harder

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that's going to be however in general

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there are three things that a woman can

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provide most straight high value men

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they are one consistent fantastic sex

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two children and child rearing and three

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obedient agreeableness that improves his

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quality of life and to be honest men can

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actually buy all three of those things

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however there's still a lot of stigma in

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judgment about buying these three

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particular things which actually creates

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an opportunity in the marketplace for

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women to potentially fill

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let's focus on this last item a bit

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shall we obedient agreeableness that

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improves his quality of life can look

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like many things but two of the most

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common ways of doing this historically

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are cooking and

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cleaning oo okay the push back I

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typically receive on this point is

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considerable and usually something on

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along the lines of that is low value

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labor Orion I'm not interested in being

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someone's maid or some man's mommy the

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man I want can afford a maid let him pay

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someone else if he wants his house

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cleaned and I say fair enough you have

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absolutely no moral obligation to cook

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or clean for a man however I'd like you

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to consider that if a man pays for that

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service that is one less way in which he

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might need you you can look at these

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tasks like oppressive servitude or you

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can see them as opportunities to

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intimately integrate yourself into the

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man's lifestyle remember the most

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dangerous man for a woman is the man who

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has everything because if he has

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everything he doesn't need you for

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anything which means that you'll be a

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play thing at

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best next let's look a little closer at

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this judgment you have about cooking and

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cleaning being beneath you as being low

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value labor let's imagine that we go out

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to a Michelin star restaurant for a real

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high-end dining experience the dinner

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will be quite expensive and it may have

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taken us months just to get a

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reservation and let's imagine that

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during our dinner we call over our

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waiter and ask for a glass of water and

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he explains oh we don't serve water here

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this is a high-end restaurant Resturant

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we only serve champagne you can get

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water anywhere and I would encourage you

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to take your business elsewhere if

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that's what you're looking

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for yeah how would that go over not well

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right what makes a high-end restaurant

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is not that it doesn't do what the

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average restaurants do but that it does

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everything that the average restaurants

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do and then some if all the other

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restaurants serve water

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you can't really get away with not

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serving water no restaurant is above the

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minimum standard of service the high-end

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ones not only go above and beyond the

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minimum they also perform the standard

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of service with class you want a glass

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of water right away they'll put it in a

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nice glass with artisanal ice cubes and

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a lemon wedge garnish they do low value

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stuff with enthusiasm and laity because

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it's the service that improves the

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quality of the experience which is what

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you're paying for at a Michelin star

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restaurant do you

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understand now let's be honest many of

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these activities are greatly facilitated

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by modern technology between my

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dishwasher laundry machines and robot

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vacuums I personally keep a

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three-bedroom house clean with maybe two

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actual hours of Labor a month a month

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with grocery delivery services I can

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spend two hours a week preparing all my

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breakfasts and lunches and a few more

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cooking a few dinners pitching in here

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and there is frankly not a very big ask

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which is why I argue that this

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resistance in women is an ego thing it's

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really an issue of Pride and as I've

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said pride is women's greatest enemy

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it's the number one thing that keeps

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them from getting into the relationships

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they want with the men they want to have

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the with look if you want to split the

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housework and child care find your Dark

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Horse find a man who has about the same

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as you and build something together

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however if you're looking for a more

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successful man to wife you up and give

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you kids on your timeline you have to be

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prepared to provide value and this has

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to be a value that he finds valuable

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because the cat decides what milk is

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good and all things being equal

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providing obedient agreeableness is one

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of the easiest and cheapest and safest

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ways of doing just that women find ways

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of doing this that work for you

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something to consider what do you think

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does this fit with your own experience

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let me know in the comments below and if

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you've gotten this far you might as well

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like this episode And subscribe to this

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channel you may also consider becoming a

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channel member with perks like priority

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review of comments or booking a paid one

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onone consultation as always thank you

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for

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listening

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Ähnliche Tags
Relationship AdviceHigh-Value WomenPsychologyMen's PerspectiveMarriageFamily PlanningGender DynamicsLife ImprovementRole PlaySelf-Reflection
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