6 Habits To Stop Looking Weak (gain instant respect)
Summary
TLDRThis video explores the confidence and strategic prowess of Tommy Shelby from 'Peaky Blinders,' drawing parallels to high-pressure real-life situations. It delves into his calm demeanor, use of state-breaking questions, and persuasive tactics that align with others' interests. The video also highlights Tommy's unique ability to turn adversity into opportunity, offering practical advice on leveraging challenges into resources. It concludes with a call to action for viewers to enhance their confidence and charisma through the Charisma University course, promising significant personal transformation.
Takeaways
- 😐 **Calmness Under Pressure**: Tommy Shelby's ability to remain calm in high-pressure situations is a key aspect of his confidence.
- 🌟 **Developing Composure**: His calm demeanor is not innate but developed through repeated exposure to life-threatening situations.
- 🔍 **Exposure Therapy**: To cultivate calmness, one should expose themselves to less challenging simulations of difficult scenarios.
- 💡 **State-Breaking Questions**: Tommy uses unexpected questions to disrupt the flow of conversation and regain control.
- 🗣️ **Persuasive Communication**: He persuades others by asking questions that break their state and by aligning his needs with theirs.
- 🤝 **Understanding Others**: To effectively persuade, Tommy researches and understands the perspectives and needs of others.
- 📈 **Influencing Through Incentives**: Tommy motivates people by offering both rewards and consequences, appealing to both gain and loss aversion.
- 🔄 **Turning Adversity into Advantage**: He transforms negative situations into opportunities that benefit him more than if the adversity hadn't occurred.
- 🎯 **Aligning Needs with Goals**: Tommy often gets what he wants by aligning his needs with the goals of others, creating win-win situations.
- 💼 **Practical Application**: The strategies used by Tommy can be applied in real-life scenarios, such as business negotiations or building relationships.
Q & A
What is the key trait of Tommy Shelby that helps him remain calm under pressure?
-Tommy Shelby's key trait is his calm, non-reactive demeanor, which he developed through repeated exposure to life-threatening situations.
How does Tommy Shelby use state-breaking questions to his advantage?
-Tommy Shelby uses state-breaking questions to disrupt the one-sided conversational flow set by others, allowing him to steer the conversation in a new direction and assert his power.
What is the importance of understanding the other person's perspective when persuading them?
-Understanding the other person's perspective is crucial for aligning your needs with theirs, which is a more effective strategy for persuasion than simply commanding or threatening.
How does Tommy Shelby turn a bad situation into a resource?
-Tommy Shelby turns bad situations into resources by recontextualizing them to serve his goals, such as faking Danny's death to gain an operative in London and a hiding place for stolen guns.
What is the significance of offering both the carrot and the stick when persuading others, as demonstrated by Tommy Shelby?
-Offering both the carrot (reward) and the stick (punishment) provides a stronger motivation for people to commit to a plan, as it appeals to both the desire for gain and the fear of loss.
How does Tommy Shelby's approach to high-pressure situations differ from a passive acceptance of circumstances?
-Tommy Shelby actively manipulates high-pressure situations to his advantage, rather than passively accepting them, by using tactics like state-breaking questions and aligning his needs with others'.
What role does exposure therapy play in developing Tommy Shelby's calm demeanor?
-Exposure therapy, through repeated exposure to challenging situations, plays a significant role in developing Tommy Shelby's calm demeanor, which is crucial for his success in high-pressure scenarios.
How does Tommy Shelby's strategy of persuasion differ from traditional negotiation tactics?
-Tommy Shelby's strategy involves understanding the other person's perspective and needs, using state-breaking questions, and offering both rewards and threats, which differs from traditional negotiation tactics that may rely solely on power dynamics.
What can individuals learn from Tommy Shelby's approach to turning adversity into opportunity?
-Individuals can learn to recontextualize adverse situations to find opportunities for gain, similar to how Tommy Shelby turns setbacks into strategic advantages.
How does the video script suggest using Tommy Shelby's strategies in real-life scenarios?
-The video script suggests applying Tommy Shelby's strategies, such as exposure therapy for calmness, state-breaking questions for control, and aligning needs for persuasion, in real-life scenarios like job interviews and social interactions.
What is the significance of the re-uploaded, updated version of the video mentioned in the script?
-The re-uploaded, updated version of the video signifies that the original content was deemed controversial or against platform guidelines, necessitating revisions to comply with YouTube's policies.
Outlines
😎 Learning Confidence from Tommy Shelby
This paragraph discusses the character Tommy Shelby from the show 'Peaky Blinders' and his ability to remain calm under pressure. It suggests that viewers can learn from his composure in high-stress situations. The video was re-uploaded after being banned by YouTube, and it contains spoilers up to season five. The key takeaway is that Tommy's calm demeanor is a learned trait, developed through exposure to dangerous situations, and it serves as a foundation for other strategies discussed in the video. The concept of 'exposure therapy' is introduced as a method to build confidence by gradually facing challenging scenarios.
🗣️ Mastering the Art of Persuasion
The second paragraph delves into Tommy Shelby's persuasive tactics, emphasizing his use of 'state-breaking questions' to disrupt the conversational flow and regain control. It contrasts passive acceptance of conversational pace with the proactive approach Tommy takes, which involves steering the conversation in a new direction. The paragraph also touches on the importance of aligning one's needs with those of others to achieve mutual benefits. It provides examples from the show and suggests practical applications in real-life situations, such as forming relationships with mentors or influencers by offering specific help rather than generic requests.
🔄 Turning Adversity into Advantage
The final paragraph highlights Tommy Shelby's unique ability to transform negative situations into opportunities. It illustrates this with examples from the show where Tommy turns a failed assassination attempt into a strategic advantage and uses a difficult situation to fake a friend's death, creating a hidden asset. The paragraph encourages viewers to reframe challenges as resources and suggests a mindset shift where undesirable circumstances can be leveraged for personal gain. It concludes with a promotion for a course called 'Charisma University,' which promises to help individuals build social power and confidence quickly, and includes testimonials from satisfied users.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Confidence
💡Exposure Therapy
💡State-Breaking Questions
💡Persuasion
💡Carrot and Stick
💡Turning Trash into Resources
💡Non-Reactive Demeanor
💡Alignment of Needs
💡Emotional State
💡Deception
💡Resourcefulness
Highlights
Tommy Shelby's calm demeanor in high-pressure situations is a key aspect of his confidence.
Exposure to challenging situations helps develop a calm response to stress.
State-breaking questions can disrupt one-sided conversations and reassert control.
Aligning one's needs with others can be an effective persuasion strategy.
Understanding the other person's perspective is crucial for successful negotiations.
Providing both a reward and a consequence can be a powerful motivator.
Tommy Shelby's ability to turn negative situations into advantages is a unique trait.
Recontextualizing a bad situation can turn it into a valuable resource.
Charisma University's course offers a step-by-step program to improve confidence and charisma.
The course has helped thousands of people from various backgrounds enhance their social power.
Students have reported life-changing experiences after taking the course.
The course offers a 60-day money-back guarantee for risk-free trial.
Joining the course can lead to significant breakthroughs in personal development.
The course content is designed to unleash hidden confidence and charisma.
The video provides insights on how to apply Tommy Shelby's strategies in real life.
Transcripts
Tommy Shelby is Stone Cold confident and
seemingly Fearless so in this video
we're going to break down what you can
learn from him to be confident in those
high pressure situations in your own
life also the original version of this
video was banned by YouTube which is why
you might recognize this re-uploaded
updated version please don't banish
Again YouTube Spoilers through season
five to follow first off perhaps the
most noticeable thing about Tommy is
that he rarely overreacts in situations
of extreme pressure
you tell me what he is
Tommy's calm non-reactive demeanor is
extremely unsettling to his adversaries
but even more important it's in this
remaining calm that he's able to put
into practice all of the other
strategies that we're discussing in this
video so this piece is foundational now
Tommy wasn't born cool as a cucumber
none of us are he developed this trait
through repeated exposure to
life-threatening situations first in the
war and then over and over and over
again in the course of his rise as a
gangster the same principle applies in
our lives if we want to remain calm in
certain situations the most reliable way
isn't simply by focusing on keeping a
straight face or a deadpan stare in fact
the more you think about your facial
expressions when you're nervous the more
likely you are to actually blush so even
though people notice the unflinching
face the best way to get there is
through what's called exposure therapy
essentially you put yourself into less
challenging simulations of whatever
difficult scenario you're about to face
so if you're going to interview doing a
mock interview with a friend or even
touring the building that you'll be
interviewing in can go a long way to
calming your nerves on the big day or if
you want to be more comfortable in
social situations saying a single extra
sentence to a service person can
challenge you without triggering total
panic but Tommy's experience also shows
us what happens if you expose yourself
to overwhelming situations rather than
gradations of slightly more challenging
ones now outsmarting people requires
more than just composure Tommy often has
to persuade people that have every
reason to hate him and he exhibits three
powerful tools that regularly keep him
in control the first is his use of State
breaking questions watch so the Odd
Fellows want you to know that any
deviation from your instructions will
have consequences
what's your dog's name
when we're under pressure our natural
response is to go with the flow and
passively accept the conversational Pace
set by someone who's in a position of
power over us however in doing so we
surrender our power during that
conversation which in a negotiation
usually leads to an unfavorable deal
this state-breaking question is a
seemingly out of place question that
breaks the one-sided conversational flow
and from there conversation is much
easier to steer in a New Direction in
this case Tommy uses it to assert his
power despite the fact that he is
imprisoned you visited your sister right
what's your name boy
interestingly when Tommy does have power
he doesn't allow others to divert it
away with their own state-breaking
questions he simply continues down his
original path rather than answering them
furthermore here's a criminal profile to
make his actions explicable to the
police as is when did you worry about
the police
Bonnie Thomason
is going to kill an MP your life you
probably don't want to use this to
introduce threats into a conversation
but it can be an incredibly persuasive
tool especially when someone's emotional
state is preventing them from moving
forward productively for instance if
someone is feeling upset asking a random
lighthearted question can snap their
state for long enough for them to
consider more empowering possibilities
and we saw this in the video that we did
on Tony Robbins getting people out of
depression what makes you hate yourself
is it the red shoes
what is it the red shoes
I know are you sure that's a red
now a simple question isn't going to
instantly put someone on your side in
fact other people can be counted on to
continue to pursue their own agendas
which is why we often see Tommy get what
he wants by finding a way to align his
needs with the other persons watch here
as Tommy tries to convince another
faction to join him in a war against the
Italians he doesn't appeal to honor or
to doing what's right but to doing
what's good for Alfie Solomon if the
Italians win then I'm planning on
leaving not to me it'll be him and then
you Mafia nothing like it is
still there liquor and it's against the
law
now in order to do this effectively you
cannot imagine that other people want
the same things as you you must try to
First view the world from their
perspective now I know this may sound
obvious but so few people follow this
advice instead they offer others what
they would want never getting anywhere
so before offering help you need to make
sure you understand the other person's
World which is why Tommy comes to these
meetings already understanding the
position and temperament of the person
that he's going to be speaking to
Distillery provides one tenth of your
income
protection is another 10 percent of the
rest you might memorize drugs
and now you keep a gun in the draw and
now you keep it beside the whiskey I
know you offered a day in our death and
if after all of your research on someone
you're still unclear on what they want
you can always just ask them in the
course of conversation I want to know
what you want one concrete area that you
can put this to use in your own life
isn't connecting with someone that you
might like as a mentor say a CEO an
influencer whoever the internet makes it
easier than ever to get in touch with
these people but it also means that they
get more of these requests than ever
before so rather than the typical let's
chat over coffee research a particular
problem they may have and then offer to
meet to discuss how specifically you can
help this is a much much more effective
way to start that relationship but be
even Beyond this particular scenario the
point is that one of the best ways to
get what you want is to seriously
consider how you can get other people
what they want now this brings us to the
next point when Tommy really needs
something done he doesn't just solve
someone's problem he gives both the
carrot and the stick which is a much
stronger motivation when you're trying
to affect large changes watch the nature
of the deal is explaining my proposal I
booked you a sweet at the Midland Hotel
if you need anything in this city I just
mention my name is also in the envelope
there's a check
500 pounds for your wife
you can use it to buy a black dress and
to Black Horse with black feathers to
pull a black Carriage with your body in
it should you break the terms of the
White Flag some people are motivated
more by the prospect of gaining
something others by the fear of losing
something and all of us are motivated
when there is a particular path that
assuages both of those desires which is
why Tommy makes sure to hit on both
whenever he needs someone to be all in
on one of his plans you can see it again
here this time he does it in reverse
order if those guns we spell fast
your life in the force is over
when I've achieved what I've set out to
achieve
I will let you know where to find the
guns
you'll be a hero you'll probably get a
medal this is a far superior persuasive
strategy than simply commanding or
threatening people and it's incredibly
helpful when you're trying to inspire
any group of people so whether it's in
school or work when there's a team of
people that you're trying to move
towards a common goal or if it's in
business when you're trying to explain
the value of a product that you're
selling don't just talk about what
someone can gain if they follow your
vision but instead on what they might
miss out if they don't now this takes us
to the last piece which is truly what
makes Tommy Shelby so unique and
probably why so many people love him and
it's his ability to turn trash into
resources lemons into lemonades as the
phrase commonly says but I wouldn't
actually use that phrase because it's
most often used to describe making the
best of a bad situation in Tommy's case
he makes a bad situation better than if
it had never happened in the first place
for example when there's a failed
assassination attempt on his brother's
life he doesn't just look at the bright
side of things that his brother mother
is alive he uses that attempt to spread
disinformation telling everyone that
Arthur his brother is dead which buys
him time to recuperate and then
eventually surprise and kill that
season's big Baddie Luka chandreta
similarly Tommy is told that he needs to
kill his friend Danny whizbing to avoid
all-out war with the Italian gangsters
clearly a bad situation but he makes it
work out better than if he didn't have
to by using it as an opportunity to fake
dany's death which gets him a man who
can operate in London without anyone
even looking for him and it also gets
him a hiding place for the guns that he
stole at the beginning of the season the
supposed grave of his friend a place
that no one would even think of looking
now this might seem like it could only
work in his scripted dramas but this
strategy of turning trash into resources
is how some of the most elegant and
Brilliant Solutions are created in the
real world the point is the bad things
in your life may only appear bad in a
particular context if you could put
those things into a completely new and
different context you can turn something
that everyone else overlooked into a
valuable resource so an extremely
powerful question to ask when you're
frustrated or you wish a circumstance
wasn't the case is how can the thing
that I least want become valuable
towards another goal of mine and if
you're looking for more guidance on
building Social Power quickly you might
like to check out our course Charisma
University it is a step-by-step program
for making huge strides in your
confidence and Charisma in less than 30
days guaranteed over 15 000 viewers like
you have joined and here's what just a
few of them have to say my biggest
breakthrough has been gaining more
confidence if you knew me a year ago
you'd see a socially awkward guy but
that same guy had hidden confidence and
Charisma that has now been Unleashed if
you're reading this or listening right
now think about who you want to be in
the air this course will teach you how
to be that person another young man used
it in his school and says the YouTube
videos are great but the courses are
amazing ever since I first started I've
gotten to know so many other people and
their friends so many opportunities have
opened up to me I've been invited to so
many Hangouts and it has been amazing
and finally your course has been
life-changing to the point where I wake
up in the mornings feeling like I've
been transferred to a new person's body
the person I kept dreaming about
becoming before I found Charisma on
command it is incredible I found myself
and I found what makes me happy and you
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click the link on screen right now or in
the description below we've had
thousands of people men women introverts
extroverts get a ton of value from this
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either way I hope that you've enjoyed
this video and I look forward to seeing
you in the next one
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