ADHD Overwhelm 😩 How to get out of freeze mode and into action
Summary
TLDRIn this video, ADHD coach Karen McGill addresses the issue of overwhelm, particularly for those with ADHD. She uses an email from a viewer named Emily, who is struggling with work-related stress and the fear of losing her job due to being unable to keep up with tasks. Karen outlines a framework called 'STICKS' to help identify the source of overwhelm, which includes examining one's state, thoughts, interests, clarity, and knowledge. She emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation, realistic expectations, and seeking clarity to overcome the freeze response and regain executive function. Karen also suggests advocating for oneself and seeking support when necessary.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Overwhelm is a common feeling, especially for those with ADHD, and can manifest as fight, flight, or freeze responses.
- 👩🏫 Karen McGill, an ADHD coach, offers strategies to help manage overwhelm and improve productivity.
- 📧 The video is inspired by an email from 'Emily,' who struggles with work-related overwhelm and fears for job security.
- 🔍 Overwhelm can stem from various sources, including morning routines with kids, work pressures, or long-term stress.
- 🚗 Chronic overwhelm is likened to driving with the emergency brake on, leading to burnout if not addressed.
- 🧠 The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive functions like prioritization and organization, is affected during overwhelm.
- 🔄 The STICKS framework (State, Thoughts, Interest, Clarity, Knowledge, Structure) is introduced to identify and tackle overwhelm.
- 🍽️ Physical and emotional state, such as hunger or lack of sleep, can contribute to feelings of overwhelm.
- 🤔 Thoughts play a significant role; negative or perfectionistic thinking can exacerbate overwhelm.
- 🎯 Interest and engagement with tasks are crucial for ADHD brains; finding ways to make tasks more interesting can help.
- 📊 Clarity on expectations and tasks is essential; lack of clarity can lead to inaction and increased overwhelm.
- 📚 Knowledge and skills are important; if lacking, seeking help or learning new skills can mitigate overwhelm.
- 🏗️ Structure provides a foundation for managing tasks and time, reducing the risk of overwhelm.
- 🗣️ Advocacy for oneself is necessary when job expectations are unrealistic, and self-advocacy tools can be helpful.
Q & A
What is the main issue that Emily is facing in her work?
-Emily is struggling with feeling overwhelmed at work, barely keeping up with tasks, and fearing for her job security due to her inability to manage the workload.
What is the significance of the acronym 'STICKS' in the context of the video?
-The acronym 'STICKS' is a framework used to identify the source of overwhelm, standing for State, Thoughts, Interest, Clarity, Knowledge, and Structure, which helps in understanding and addressing emotional dysregulation.
How does Karen McGill define overwhelm in the context of ADHD?
-Overwhelm for ADHD individuals is defined as a feeling of shutting down, where the nervous system goes into fight, flight, or freeze, causing a loss of access to the prefrontal cortex and executive functions necessary to manage tasks.
What is the role of the prefrontal cortex in handling overwhelm?
-The prefrontal cortex is crucial for accessing skills like prioritization, organization, and objective thinking, which help in managing overwhelm. When overwhelmed, this part of the brain can shut down, leading to emotional responses and further perpetuating the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Why is it important to understand the source of overwhelm according to Karen McGill?
-Understanding the source of overwhelm is important because it allows individuals to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on the feeling of being overwhelmed, which can further exacerbate the situation.
What does Karen suggest for someone who feels overwhelmed due to unrealistic job demands?
-If the overwhelm stems from unrealistic job demands, Karen suggests working with the employer to manage expectations and potentially re-evaluate the workload.
How can one use the 'State' part of the STICKS framework to address overwhelm?
-To address overwhelm using the 'State' part of the STICKS framework, one should assess their current emotional and physical state, identify factors contributing to the state, and take immediate steps to improve it, such as getting adequate sleep, eating well, or engaging in physical activity.
What is the significance of 'Interest' in the STICKS framework for ADHD individuals?
-For ADHD individuals, having an interest in a task is crucial as their brains are interest-driven. If a task is boring, it's challenging to execute, so finding ways to make the task more interesting or meaningful can help in managing overwhelm.
How does 'Clarity' help in reducing overwhelm according to the video?
-Clarity helps in reducing overwhelm by providing a clear understanding of expectations and next steps. Ambiguity can lead to inaction and build-up of tasks, so seeking clarity on what needs to be done and how it should be done can alleviate overwhelm.
What is the role of 'Structure' in managing overwhelm as described in the video?
-Structure plays a significant role in managing overwhelm by providing a clear framework for tasks, such as to-do lists, calendars, and time management. It helps in setting boundaries, prioritizing tasks, and creating an environment conducive to focused work, thus reducing the feeling of being overwhelmed.
How can one use the STICKS framework to advocate for themselves in a work setting?
-Using the STICKS framework, one can identify specific areas where they are overwhelmed and then advocate for changes or support, such as requesting clearer expectations, additional training, or adjustments to their work environment, to better manage their tasks and responsibilities.
Outlines
📢 Introduction to Overwhelm and ADHD
Karen McGill, an ADHD coach, introduces the topic of overwhelm, particularly in the context of ADHD. She empathizes with viewers who might be feeling overwhelmed and introduces the concept of 'fight, flight, or freeze' responses. Karen discusses how overwhelm can manifest in various aspects of life, such as parenting or work, and emphasizes the importance of understanding the source of overwhelm to move towards solutions. She introduces a framework called 'STICKS' to help identify and address the root causes of emotional dysregulation leading to overwhelm.
🔍 Exploring the STICKS Framework for Overwhelm
Karen explains the STICKS framework in detail, starting with 'State', which refers to one's emotional and physical condition that can contribute to overwhelm. She suggests that factors like sleep, hunger, medication, and mood can affect emotional regulation. The second part, 'Thinking', involves examining one's thoughts that might exacerbate feelings of overwhelm, such as perfectionism or negative self-talk. Karen advises pausing to listen to internal dialogue and challenging limiting beliefs to alleviate pressure and emotional dysregulation.
🧠 Understanding Interest, Clarity, and Knowledge in Overwhelm
In the third part of the STICKS framework, 'Interest' is discussed as a key driver for ADHD brains, suggesting that tasks need to be engaging to be executed effectively. Karen advises finding ways to make tasks more interesting to maintain focus and motivation. 'Clarity' is the next component, emphasizing the need for clear expectations and next steps to prevent overwhelm caused by ambiguity. Lastly, 'Knowledge' addresses the skills required to complete tasks and the importance of recognizing and acquiring the necessary knowledge or skills to meet expectations.
🏗 Building Structure to Overcome Overwhelm
The final part of the STICKS framework, 'Structure', is about creating a structured environment to manage tasks and time effectively, which can reduce overwhelm. Karen talks about the importance of to-do lists, calendars, and clear expectations in providing a sense of control and reducing the stress of uncertainty. She also touches on the importance of advocating for oneself, especially when expectations are unrealistic, and suggests seeking support from colleagues or coaches to externalize thinking and gain clarity.
🌟 Conclusion and Call to Action
Karen concludes by encouraging viewers to use the STICKS framework to identify the root causes of their overwhelm and take actionable steps towards overcoming it. She acknowledges the challenge of dealing with overwhelm, especially for those with ADHD, and offers her services as an ADHD coach for one-on-one support. Karen invites viewers to share their experiences and questions in the comments and provides a link to a worksheet for further exploration of the framework.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Overwhelm
💡ADHD Coach
💡Fight, Flight, or Freeze
💡Executive Function
💡Emotional Dysregulation
💡Prefrontal Cortex
💡Burnout
💡Framework for Overwhelm
💡State
💡Clarity
Highlights
Overwhelm is a common struggle for many, including those with ADHD, and can manifest in various aspects of life.
ADHD coach Karen McGill introduces a framework to help manage and overcome overwhelm.
The framework is designed to provide clarity on the causes of overwhelm, facilitating solutions rather than dwelling on the feeling itself.
Overwhelm can be acute, like dealing with a chaotic morning, or chronic, leading to burnout if not addressed.
The dictionary definition of overwhelm is feeling like drowning, but for ADHD individuals, it often results in shutdown or freeze response.
The prefrontal cortex and executive function are crucial for managing overwhelm but can be impaired when one is overwhelmed.
Identifying the source of overwhelm is the first step in the framework, which can vary from person to person.
The 'Sticks' acronym is introduced as a tool to identify and address the causes of overwhelm.
The first 'S' in Sticks stands for 'State', referring to one's emotional and physical condition.
The 'T' stands for 'Thinking', which involves examining thoughts that may be exacerbating the feeling of overwhelm.
The 'I' in Sticks stands for 'Interest', emphasizing the importance of aligning tasks with one's interests to maintain motivation.
The 'C' represents 'Clarity', which is about having a clear understanding of expectations and next steps.
The 'K' for 'Knowledge' suggests assessing whether one has the necessary skills to meet the demands at hand.
The final 'S' in Sticks stands for 'Structure', which can help mitigate overwhelm by providing a clear plan and routine.
Lack of structure can lead to increased overwhelm, making it important to establish a structured environment and routine.
The framework encourages self-advocacy and seeking help when faced with unrealistic expectations.
The video concludes with an invitation for viewers to reflect on their own experiences with overwhelm and apply the Sticks framework.
Transcripts
if like me you tend to suffer from
overwhelm and then you completely fight
flight or freeze then first of all you
are not alone but second of all if that
is the case for you then today's video
might just help you get past your
overwhelm so you can get on with
whatever it is you're dealing with and
live your best damn ADHD life and on
that note my name is Karen McGill I'm an
ADHD coach and I help busy ambitious
brains get nizzle done especially when
they're feeling overwhelmed today's
video is centered around an email I
received from somebody who's on my email
list and by the way if you're not on my
email list you need to get on there now
because you have the opportunity to ask
me anything that's on your mind when you
get your introductory email from me and
then every Sunday thereafter you will
get a short quick handy email from me
addressing an ADHD issue that will help
you in your life so today's topic is
coming from a woman who I will call
Emily and she writes my biggest struggle
at the moment is work for the last few
months I've been barely keeping my head
above water unable to keep up with all
of my tasks I'm starting to feel my job
security slip through my fingers when I
get overwhelmed I freeze and I have been
frozen a lot since fall thank you Emily
I don't know about you but I can feel
the overwhelm in her message and I know
exactly what she's going through so
Emily if you are listening to this
please know that I have been where you
are and probably the majority of the
people watching this video right now
have also shared The Angst that you're
going through right now and I hope that
today's video will somehow ease your
struggle even if just a little bit so
here's the thing about overwhelm it can
be centered around a morning with the
kids when they just will not settle down
and you feel completely overwhelmed with
all of their energy or it can be a
frustrating afternoon at work when you
feel like you just have too many things
coming at you and you don't even know
where to start on the other hand
overwhelm can be very long drawn and
protracted which is the case here with
Emily who says that she's been feeling
this way okay Sid's last fall and when
this happens over a long period of time
it's kind of like driving a car with the
emergency brake on or driving a car that
hasn't had an oil change in like 10
years eventually that engine is going to
seize up and your engine is going to
burn out and that's the same with us
humans when we are constantly in a state
of overwhelm and we can't figure out how
to break the cycle we eventually end up
in Burnout and that is never a good
thing so in today's video I want to give
you a framework for thinking about
overwhelm because I find that when we
can get very clear on what is causing
the overwhelm it makes it a lot easier
to focus on Solutions rather than
dwelling on that sense of overwhelm
which only then perpetuates it even
further so to kick this off let's start
off with a clear definition of what
overwhelm actually means according to
the dictionary overwhelm can feel like
drowning beneath a mask but the outcome
of overwhelm especially for us ADHD
years is a feeling of shutting down it's
when our nervous system goes into fight
flight or freeze and we lose access to
our prefrontal cortex and why is our
prefrontal cortex and executive function
so important especially when we're
overwhelmed because that's where we
access all of the important skills that
help us get out of overwhelm like
prioritization and organization and
thinking about situations objectively so
that you can come up with a realistic
solution so naturally when our nervous
system is dysregulated that area of the
brain shuts down or just completely goes
out for a boozy lunge and we're left in
a feeling of emotional response which is
the fight flight or freeze and obviously
Emily is self-aware enough to know that
her nervous system response is freeze
meaning that she just can't do anything
in those moments of complete overwhelm
so what can Emily do to get her out of
that freeze response so that she can
then tap into her executive function and
come up with solutions to get herself
back on track well here's the thing and
if Emily was in front of me and I was
coaching her I would first want to
understand what the source of the
overwhelm is because it can be a
situation where the demands of her job
are just unrealistic and there's just no
physical way where she can actually
complete the tasks that are being
expected of her so in that situation it
doesn't matter if you're emotionally
regulated or dysregulated if the issue
is that she just physically can't do all
the things she's expected to do in her
job then I would coach Emily on working
with her employer to manage expectations
but if I go back to her note she says
her biggest struggle in the moment is
work and for the last few months she's
barely been able to keep her head above
water unable to keep up with all of her
tasks and she's starting to feel her job
security slip through her fingers now in
that case let's just make the assumption
that Emily's overwhelm is coming from a
place of emotional dysregulation because
the way she's thinking about coping with
the tasks at work is making her feel
emotionally disregulated she says she's
worried about her job secure security
which of course is going to put her into
that freeze mode so when I'm working
with a client who is emotionally
dysregulated I like to use the framework
of sticks in order to identify it
exactly where that sense of overwhelm is
coming from so that we can get to the
source of the emotional dysregulation
and problem solve from there that way
we're actually taking the emotion out of
the situation so that she can move
forward and get back to the task at hand
so let's break down the stakes acronym
and I will show you how you can use it
to get to the root of your own sense of
overwhelm and don't worry about taking
notes or remembering anything there's a
worksheet linked below that you can
access and it will give you the
definitions and also an area where you
can brainstorm your own emotional
responses to each area of this framework
so let's start with the first s in the
acronym sticks which stands for State
this is your emotional and physical
state very often our sense of overwhelm
May either derive from or be exasperated
by our physical or emotional state in
the moment for example if you're not
sleeping well and you're tired it makes
it really hard to stay emotionally
regulated if you haven't eaten lately
and you're hungry that can also drain
your energy and lead to emotional
dysregulation perhaps your medications
may have worn off or you might be in a
state of moodiness or emotional
dysregulation due to hormones or
something else that's going on in your
environment so the very clear question
here is how are you feeling in the
moment and is there some immediate steps
you can take to bring yourself into a
better emotional state food sleep fresh
air connection with others and physical
movement are your gateway to emotional
regulation and bringing your attention
back online so that you can attend to
whatever you're dealing with in the
moment the next letter in that acronym
is T and that stands for what you're
thinking so when you are feeling
emotionally dysregulated especially at
work it's really important that you
examine your thoughts that might be
driving or exasperating that feeling of
overwhelm what are you thinking about
these tasks at work that are making you
so overwhelmed are you feeling like
they're beyond your scope or
capabilities are you thinking you're not
good enough are you mired in
perfectionism or black and white
thinking it has to be this way or the
highway what are your thoughts that are
pulling your attention away from the
task at hand draining your energy and
emotionally disregulating you to the
point where you feel overwhelmed and
what I would encourage you to do is get
quiet for a second pause take a few deep
breaths and just listen to the
conversation in your head if you're
putting too much pressure on yourself if
you're being hard on yourself if you're
being perfectionistic about the way
you're approaching your work it's really
important to take the pressure off by
either combating those limiting beliefs
because I can tell you that's probably a
story and a narrative that is based
entirely on opinion and not reality and
it's really important to work on
neutralizing those thoughts is it
absolutely true that you're not living
out up to the expectations of your boss
do you know that for a fact or are you
making that assumption is it true that
the project you're working on looks like
a dumpster fire or is that just your
perception because your mired and
perfectionistic thinking sometimes
getting the perspective of somebody you
trust can be really helpful for taking
you out of those thought Spirals and
putting you back into a mode of paying
attention to the task at hand the next
letter in the acronym is I which stands
for interest now if you have ADHD you
know you have an interest driven brain
so something is super boring it is going
to be hard for you to create the
chemical cocktail you need in your mind
to execute now that doesn't mean it's
impossible it just means it's going to
be a challenge you need to understand
that your brain is wired for interest so
how can you make the task more
interesting is there a way to
re-sparkleize it we know that when
things get boring and mundane we want to
drop them and move on so you need to
figure out a way to reconnect yourself
self to the task at hand either by
understanding the meaning behind it the
value or benefit you're going to get
from being finished with it or finding
some other way to make the process more
interesting like getting a body double
or having somebody walk through it with
you brainstorming it on a whiteboard
something that will help you kick your
brain into gear get the dopamine moving
into your prefrontal cortex and moving
you forward now that brings me to the
next letter in our acronym which is C
and that stands for clarity let me tell
you something ambiguity is an ADHD
there's Kryptonite when we don't know
what the next step is it can make it
very hard to get started on something
that's when our tasks start to build up
which can lead to overwhelm or overwhelm
could just be that thought of I don't
know what to do next and I'm frozen so
Emily I would encourage you to really
think about this so if Clarity is
something that's holding you back what
questions do you have that would help
you move past ambiguity do you need to
ask somebody what does done look like
what is an example of something that's
been done in the past that you can use
as inspiration or a template or a
direction to move towards I will tell
you that in my own professional career
this is something that really hung me up
because when I didn't know what done
looked like or had a clear idea of what
my boss's expectation on a task was I
would Spin and I would make things way
more difficult than I needed them to be
if they asked me for three slides I
would spend two days crafting three
slides that were way overly complex and
unnecessary and if I had just asked
specifically what is it that we're
working to solve here who is the
audience what do they need to know
specifically what does done look like
what does success look like whatever
those questions are that will inspire
whoever is asking you to do the thing to
be more clear is going to make you look
like a champ because they're going to go
that's that's a great question I hadn't
really thought about what I wanted it to
look like then they're going to tell you
and it's going to make everything a lot
easier so ask yourself if you need
Clarity to move forward and if that's
the case how can you get it and that
actually brings me to the next letter in
our acronym which is K and that stands
for knowledge so let's say it's very
clear what the expectations are but
you're not sure you had the skills
follow through with the request now that
is something that is completely
understandable first of all it's
important to remember we don't come out
of the womb knowing all the things about
all the things so the fact that you may
not know how to do something is not an
opportunity for shame it's an
opportunity for curiosity and to ask
questions so leaning back on the
Curiosity piece what is it that you need
to execute and do you have the right
skills if you don't think you have the
right skills the right answer to ask
yourself is if I attempt to do this what
is the risk that I might do it wrong and
am I going to break something for
example you may not want to do brain
surgery on somebody if you've never
tried that before however if what you're
trying to do is something in your
business like setting up an email funnel
or fixing some text on your website if
you try to do it and you don't do it
correctly first of all can you ask
somebody for help and second of all if
you don't have somebody who can help you
if you do it is the mistake reversible
and in most cases perhaps outside of
brain surgery any mistake you make can
be reversed it might cost a little bit
of money so you want to try to get help
first but if you can't get help don't
let that be the barrier to you being an
overwhelm open up YouTube there's a
tutorial for everything under the sun
there and the University of Google
probably has somebody waiting to help
you with your question now this brings
me to the last letter in our acronym and
that is s and that stands for structure
very often overwhelm can come from a
place of lack of structure when we don't
have structure all hell can break loose
let me break this down for you structure
looks like like having a to-do list
having a calendar knowing exactly how
much time you have to complete each task
when you had that structure of knowing
on Monday I need to do this on Tuesday I
need to do this and I know that I have
the time to do it that takes the
pressure off and you can just show up
and do the work but when you don't have
structure meaning there's a lot of
ambiguity or you don't know if you have
enough time to complete all the tasks
this is what can bring you into
dysregulation because your thoughts
start to spin around I can't I can't I
can't so that might mean actually
working on your boundaries at work
having a conversation with your boss to
really get clear on expectations so that
you know and your boss knows exactly how
much time it's going to take you to do
something thoroughly this is where
you've got to advocate for yourself and
really ask for what you need but you're
also being invited to a bunch of
meetings then it's time to start asking
the question to the powers that be what
would you prefer that I put my attention
on do you want me to complete this task
or do you want me to attend this meeting
what is your priority in this moment if
you can't prioritize put the onus back
on them and it will make them think no I
really need to go to this meeting or no
I really want you to focus on this thing
now if you're a knowledge worker or
you're in management the onus is on you
to prioritize and that can be very
difficult when you don't have access to
your prefrontal cortex because your
executive function is out for a boozy
lunch so in that case structure might
look like having a trusted colleague
that you can talk through things with or
an executive coach or an ADHD coach who
understands the way your mind thinks and
can help you think out loud because it's
not that you can't think about these
things it's that you can't hold it in
your mind and think about it in your
head you need to get it out there and
externalize your thinking and one less
point about structure and structure
doesn't have to mean your work
environment or your boss or what you're
thinking it can also just be your
environment in general if you are in an
area that's cluttered or noisy or
distracted that can also lead to a lot
of overwhelm because that is a huge
barrier to attention so with all of that
said within that framework I would
encourage you to think about what is the
root and source of your overwhelm it
might be and probably is more than one
thing but by taking a moment to pause
and look through that list which again I
will link below take some time to read
through it and see what comes up for you
you may be aware of what's causing your
overwhelm but you may not have thought
about it holistically or you may not
know what's causing your overwhelm you
may be feeling I'm so stressed out and I
don't even know why so I find this
framework really helpful for
externalizing those feelings and really
getting to the root of it so you can
start to take action on it bring your
attention back online and move past the
emotion of overwhelm into confidence
Clarity and forward movement so I hope
that was helpful for you Emily once
again I know how difficult overwhelm can
be and as a fellow ADHD or I know how it
can completely derail you but I am
confident if you can get to the root of
what is causing that overwhelm then you
can start to take action to move past it
and that sense of momentum is really
going to help you move forward and if at
the end of the day the true issue is
that the expectations that are being put
upon you are not realistic then it's
time to start advocating for yourself in
a different way and you can still use
those tools to give yourself the
confidence to actually speak up and
advocate for yourself so I hope that was
helpful for you Emily and for everybody
watching if you have any questions
please drop them below let me know how
you deal with overwhelm and if you're
interested in working with me one-on-one
as your ADHD coach you can find more
information on that below and until I
see you next week bye for now
Weitere ähnliche Videos ansehen
Ditch the "Expert's" Morning Routine: Do This Instead
4 ADHD Techniques to Overcome Laziness
you're not lazy...you're stuck in the freeze response
I'm Always Looking For Others' Approval
Karen desaparece e intenta conseguir un bebé que la salve | La rosa de Guadalupe 4/4 | La farsa
This self-sabotaging comment reveals more than you think
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)