Social Media Corrupts Human Interactions | Emma Gannon | Part 3 of 6

Summary

The speaker at the Oxford Union debates the negative impacts of social media on human interaction. They discuss the rise of superficial communication practices like 'bread crumbing' and 'ghosting,' the addictive nature of social media causing a dopamine loop, and the resulting breakdown in trust and commitment in relationships. Emphasizing the irony of social media being 'social' while fostering disconnection and dishonesty, the speech calls for a more mindful approach to maintaining genuine human connections.

Takeaways

• 🔍 The speaker acknowledges the positive role social media played in their career but argues against its impact on personal relationships.
• 📱 The concept of 'bread crumbing' is introduced as a lazy form of communication on social media, leading to non-commitment in relationships.
• 👻 Terms like 'ghosting' and 'benching' are highlighted to describe behaviors where individuals disappear or avoid commitment in real life while maintaining online contact.
• 💔 Social media is criticized for making people lazier in maintaining relationships, treating them as disposable as items on sale.
• 🎟️ The 'maybe' button on Facebook events is identified as a symbol of reluctance to commit and a source of social cancellations.
• 🧠 The speaker suggests that the novelty of social media and our lack of experience with it contributes to its addictive nature and negative impacts.
• 💉 The comparison of social media interaction to a dopamine hit, akin to the brain's reward for physical touch or other pleasurable activities, is made to explain our phone addiction.
• 👥 The irony of social media being 'social' is discussed, as it often distracts from real-life social interactions and contributes to isolation.
• 📉 Statistics from studies show a concerning level of phone addiction, including checking phones during intimate moments and a preference for online communication over face-to-face.
• 🌐 The speaker emphasizes the importance of face-to-face communication and the basic human skills it requires, which are being undermined by social media.
• 🤝 The debate centers on how social media corrupts human interaction through addiction and a breakdown in trust, with references to fake news and the impact on relationships.

Q & A

What is the speaker's stance on social media in terms of its impact on relationships?

The speaker is against social media in the context of fostering relationships, arguing that it promotes laziness in communication and non-commitment.

What is 'breadcrumbing' as mentioned in the script?

'Breadcrumbing' refers to a form of communication on social media where someone sends occasional, non-committal messages to maintain contact without intending to meet up or deepen the relationship.

What are the issues with the 'maybe' button on Facebook events according to the speaker?

The 'maybe' button on Facebook events is problematic because it allows people to non-committally express interest in an event, leading to a lack of commitment and potentially more cancellations on friends.

How does the speaker describe the impact of the Internet's infancy on our behavior with social media?

The speaker suggests that because the Internet and social media platforms are relatively new, we are still learning how to interact with them, leading to behaviors such as addiction and a lack of commitment in our relationships.

What neurochemical is associated with the gratification we receive from social media interactions?

Dopamine is the neurochemical associated with the gratification we receive from likes, tweets, and other forms of online validation, which can lead to addiction.

Why does the speaker argue that social media is far from being truly 'social'?

The speaker argues that social media is far from social because it encourages distractions, interrupts real-life social interactions, and promotes a superficial form of communication that lacks depth and commitment.

What statistic did the Harris Interactive study reveal about phone usage during intimate moments?

The Harris Interactive study revealed that 20% of people aged 18 to 34 check their phones during sex, indicating a high level of phone addiction.

What does the speaker suggest about the number of friends we can realistically maintain based on psychological research?

The speaker suggests that, according to psychologist Robin Dunbar, we can realistically maintain about 150 friends, with a core group of about 5 being the most important.

How does the speaker connect the rise of fake news and the demise of experts to the breakdown of trust in relationships?

The speaker connects the rise of fake news and the demise of experts to a breakdown in trust by suggesting that misinformation and the prevalence of online 'gurus' make it harder for people to trust one another.

What does the speaker believe is the role of relationships in our lives, and how should they be maintained?

The speaker believes that relationships should be maintained in a sacred way, as something that requires privacy and effort, rather than being treated as disposable or transactional.

What is the main argument the speaker makes against social media's impact on human interaction?

The main argument the speaker makes is that social media is corrupting human interaction due to its addictive nature and the erosion of trust it fosters.

Outlines

00:00

📱 The Downside of Social Media in Relationships

The speaker begins by acknowledging their career's reliance on social media but expresses strong opposition to its impact on personal relationships. They introduce terms like 'bread crumbing' and 'ghosting' to describe the superficial and non-committal interactions facilitated by social media. The speaker argues that these behaviors are making us lazy in our relationships, treating people with a lack of commitment akin to swiping through items on sale. They also criticize the 'maybe' button on Facebook events for promoting indecisiveness and leading to cancellations, which further strains friendships. The speaker suggests that the novelty of social media platforms, like Twitter and Facebook, contributes to our indecisiveness, comparing us to children in a candy shop who lack self-control. The addictive nature of social media is attributed to the release of dopamine, a neurochemical associated with rewards, which creates a loop that keeps us glued to our phones, often at the expense of real-life interactions.

05:00

🚷 The Impact of Social Media on Human Interaction and Trust

In the second paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the consequences of social media on human interaction and trust. They cite a Harris Interactive study that reveals startling statistics about phone usage during intimate moments and the anxiety people feel when separated from their phones. The speaker highlights the preference for online socialization over face-to-face interactions, as indicated by a dating site's findings. They emphasize the importance of direct communication and the skills needed for in-person conversations, which are being eroded by the ability to carefully craft online messages. The speaker also touches on the psychological aspects, referencing Maslow's hierarchy of needs to argue that constant connectivity does not fulfill our basic human needs for intimate relationships. They mention the limited number of friends one can maintain according to Dunbar's number, suggesting that social media's broad connections are not as meaningful. The paragraph concludes with concerns about the erosion of trust due to the prevalence of lies, fake news, and the rise of 'post-truth' politics, using examples of individuals who have publicly disengaged from the facade of social media to reconnect with reality.

Keywords

💡Social Media

Social media refers to digital platforms and applications that enable users to create and share content or participate in social networking. In the context of the video, it is central to the discussion on how it affects human interaction. The speaker argues that social media can be detrimental to relationships and personal interactions, citing examples such as 'bread crumbing' and 'ghosting' as behaviors facilitated by social media platforms.

💡Bread Crumbing

Bread crumbing is a term used to describe a behavior where someone sends occasional, non-committal messages to someone they're not interested in pursuing a relationship with, but want to keep them interested or stringing along. The video script mentions this as an example of how social media can lead to lazy and non-committal communication, harming personal relationships.

💡Ghosting

Ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without any explanation, typically in the context of dating or friendship. It is highlighted in the video as a negative consequence of social media, where it's easier to disappear from someone's life without直面的 confrontation, leading to a breakdown in trust and communication.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with the brain's reward and pleasure centers. The video discusses how the use of social media triggers dopamine release, creating a loop of addiction. This addiction can lead to a preference for online gratification over real-life interactions, thus impacting human relationships negatively.

💡Instant Gratification

Instant gratification refers to the desire to fulfill desires immediately with little or no delay. The video argues that social media provides instant gratification through likes, tweets, and other forms of online validation, which can detract from the value and effort put into building and maintaining real-life relationships.

💡Maybe Button

The 'maybe' button on Facebook events is mentioned as a symbol of non-commitment. It allows users to express potential interest without a firm commitment, which the video suggests contributes to a culture of canceling plans and not fully engaging in social activities, thus weakening social bonds.

💡Trust

Trust is a crucial element in human relationships, and the video discusses how social media can erode trust through the spread of fake news, lies, and the promotion of superficial connections. The speaker argues for the importance of maintaining trust in relationships and how social media's influence can be corrosive to this aspect.

💡Fake News

Fake news refers to false, often sensational, information presented as news. The video script points out that the rise of fake news on social media platforms can lead to a general decline in trust among people, as the line between real and fabricated information becomes blurred.

💡Human Interaction

Human interaction involves the social behaviors and communication between people. The video's central theme revolves around how social media corrupts this interaction by promoting superficial connections, addiction to online validation, and the prioritization of virtual presence over real-life engagement.

💡Internet Addiction

Internet addiction is a behavioral addiction characterized by excessive or poorly controlled preoccupations, urges, or behaviors regarding computer use and internet access. The video describes how the constant stimulation from social media can lead to such addiction, which in turn affects one's ability to engage in meaningful, real-life interactions.

💡Dunbar's Number

Dunbar's number is a suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. The video references this concept to argue that the large number of 'friends' on social media platforms is not only unnecessary but also detrimental to forming deep, meaningful relationships.

Highlights

Speaker acknowledges a career propelled by social media but opposes its impact on relationship development.

Introduction of the term 'bread crumbing' as the lowest form of social media communication.

Discussion on 'ghosting' and 'benching' as harmful social media practices affecting real-life relationships.

The 'maybe' button on Facebook events is criticized for promoting non-commitment and cancellations.

Speaker suggests that the novelty of social media contributes to our lack of willpower in managing its use.

Dopamine release from social media use is compared to the neurochemical rewards of physical touch or drugs.

Instant gratification from likes and tweets is said to lead to an addictive loop that disconnects us from reality.

Personal anecdotes about the speaker's Google whole watching habits illustrate the depth of digital addiction.

Ironically, social media, meant to be social, often distracts and interrupts real-life social interactions.

Citing a study that 20% of people aged 18 to 34 check their phones during sex, highlighting phone addiction.

75% of respondents in a study want to be within 5 feet of their phone, indicating anxiety without it.

39% of Americans prefer online socializing over face-to-face interactions, raising concerns about social skills.

The importance of face-to-face communication and the risks of losing this basic human skill are discussed.

Psychological research suggests that constant phone connection is not a fundamental human need.

Robin Dunbar's theory on the number of friends one can maintain is introduced to argue against excessive online friendships.

The debate's focus on 'corrupting human interaction' is tied to the negative impacts of social media.

Athena O'Neill's story of leaving Instagram fame to reconnect with reality is cited as an example of the desire for authenticity.

An Australian study suggests that couples who are overly affectionate on Facebook are likely to be unhappy and may break up.

The rise of fake news and the decline of trust in experts are identified as consequences of social media.

The speaker concludes that social media's addiction and breakdown in trust are the main reasons it corrupts human interaction.

Transcripts

[Music]

now invite em again and to continue the

case for the proposition Thank You mr.

president for having me and it's such an

honor to be here at the Oxford Union

today so I guess I should start as well

by saying that I'm not a hundred percent

anti social media after all I would not

be here my whole career has been

propelled forward very quickly from a

young age of learning how to code on

myspace when I was 13 to now sort of

being found on my blog and through

Twitter by a literary agent and I guess

cutting corners through the internet so

if this proposition was going to be

about social media in careers it would

be a very different one but I'm very

against the social media actually kind

of thought making sure that

relationships are propelled forwards

because they're really not so I wanted

to start off by kind of looking at some

smaller things that might harm

relationships because I think that

coming out with a show-stopping

statistic isn't normally what you do a

new thing for I will save that for later

so I recently discovered a term called

bread crumbing which is in the context

of social media in the New York Times it

was called the laziest most

non-committal communication possible so

in the context of my life bread crumbing

would be someone saying miss you and we

should hang out and then two weeks later

or a month later you hear nothing

literally the lowest form of

communication on social media there's

also other terms well one is ghosting

benching which is actually kind of like

ghosting which is when you completely

disappear from real life but you

actually continue to text them and tweet

them and snapchat them but you have no

intention of meeting up with the memory

or life and I think it's making us so

much more lazy so it's not just ruining

our dating lives it's also ruining our

friendships and we're treating people

like they are t-shirts and a sale in

Topshop just swiping and swiping

and not really committing to anyone the

other problem I think with social media

is the maybe button on Facebook events

because that is the devil of committing

you basically say maybe and if something

else comes up you know that you'll be

straight out there you will not be going

to that event so it's making us lazy

it's making us not commit and it's

making us cancel more than ever on our

friends I think one of the reasons for

this is the Internet is actually in its

infancy Twitter is ten years old

Facebook is 12 years old

we have no willpower because we don't

quite know how to treat these things

because they're still so new in our

lives and I guess we're kind of like

children in a sweetshop

but the reason we're so addicted to our

phones is actually because we get a hit

of dopamine every time we use them and

we all know that this is a neurochemical

which is the reward molecule so it's

every time we get a like or we get a

tweet or we get anything to do with an

online gratification it stimulates the

brain in a way that a hug does or even

having drugs or even with you have sex

so this dopamine drug can actually make

you fall into a loop and it's making us

touch get out of touch with reality

really and not see our friends as much

and actually break down relationships

there's been a lot of research on

psychology today which says that this

dopamine loop can basically get you lost

in a voice and I know that my personal

Google whole is watching watching Oscar

speeches I can quote any Oscar speech

for the last like two decades basically

so this instant gratification is making

us want to look up the information

straight away see what an ex colleague

is doing on LinkedIn and faithfully and

short it's becoming harder and harder

for us to not look at our phones we are

addicted to them and no one really is

saying how addicted we are even though

we'll happily say we're addicted to

cigarettes or even anything else alcohol

so in short it makes us feel really good

to get a like on social media and this

is why I really wanted to speak on the

motion of tonight's debate because I

feel that it's ironic it's so ironic

that we treat social media is funding

social because it is far from social the

interruptions

we get on our phone are inherently they

are social but they're also so

distracting

Pamela Rutledge who's a director of the

media psychology research center says

that we are we are hardwired by nature

to respond to things that are socially

really compelling and any invitation

will make us check our phone but yet we

see people in romantic restaurants on

their phones not talking to each other

so the fact that we are interrupting

real life social interactions because of

our phones is actually very ironic so

there was a 2013 article and study that

went viral by the Harris Interactive

group and they actually came up with the

fact that 20% of people aged 18 to 34

check their phones during sex so that is

quite a statistics I just kind of wanted

to throw out there because I don't

really know what the human interaction

is but I was really sure that is kind of

up there with an interaction that you

probably want to concentrate on but

nearly 75 percent of those respondents

as well said that they wanted to be

within 5 feet of their phone at all

times and it would actually get them

quite anxious if they weren't so those

also study by one of the biggest dating

sites called the do that said 39% of

Americans spend more time socializing

online than anyone else

20% also said that they would rather

text someone so they have time to think

about a response and that actually kind

of worried me that statistic so I think

that having that ability to think about

what you want to save someone is

actually a real luxury and in the real

life you can't think about what you want

to say you actually have to go and say

it and I just think there's quite a very

manse really to meeting and face to face

and I think talking someone is kind of a

basic skills that we should all aim to

have mouth closed hierarchy of needs

that you're probably all familiar with

says that the constant connection that

we want to have to society by our phones

is actually not one that we need to

survive it's not the thing that we need

we need intimate relationships and also

a University of Oxford psychologist

Robin Dunbar said that we only have room

for 150 friends so all of those friends

we've got on Facebook you don't need

them you need 150 at most you would

invite 50 ma

to a dinner party but actually he says

that size best friends is really all you

need and I agree so I thought it was

interesting as well that this debate was

actually about corrupting human

interaction and I think the word corrupt

is an interesting one when you look it

up it says it causes the cause to act

dishonestly in return for money or

personal gain and I think although

social media obviously is brilliant for

movements it's good for getting lots of

people together it's good for identity

politics politics that's good for all

sorts of things to do with business and

grouping people together but one thing

it's not good for is actually the lies

and the fake news and all of the things

that come along with that and people

basically pulling the wool over your

eyes

there was a blogger in 2015 called

Athena O'Neill she went viral in the

media about kind of coming out of her

Instagram shell and her instant internet

fame because she was tired of living a

fake life and she came out because she

want to get in touch with reality again

because it was just so removed from the

real world and she was so emotionally

detached from that there was also a

study recently that went around it was

an Australian study by sex expert that

said that couples are more mushy on

Facebook are actually miserable and they

will probably break up so if you ever

see romantic selfies they're in trouble

so I think I think what I'm trying to

say is that I think social media is not

helping with our trust and I don't trust

it's one of the biggest human qualities

that definitely should be should be we

should want to trust in one another

because that's what make humans and a

good relationship so the rise of fake

news the demise of expert how people are

gurus now online is actually making us

trust people less the fact that post

truth was the word was word of the years

quite scary and in a world of Donald

Trump I think we need to have some trust

especially when he's let loose on

Twitter so I think that relationships

need to be maintained in a sacred way I

think that they're not something that

can just be returned have like in return

I think they should be something that is

private and actually have a lot of work

put into them so I think that's it the

two main reasons that I think social

media is corrupting human interaction is

because of our addiction and because of

our breakdown in trust thank you

[Music]

you

[Music]