137. When Words Aren’t Enough: How to Excel at Nonverbal Communication | Think Fast, Talk Smart:...

Summary

In this episode of 'Think Fast, Talk Smart' podcast, Matt Abrahams interviews Dana Carney, an expert in nonverbal communication from Berkeley's Haas School of Business. They delve into the nuances of nonverbal cues, discussing how they convey power, status, and bias. Carney emphasizes the importance of eye contact and body language in expressing confidence and authority. The conversation highlights the role of culture and context in interpreting nonverbals and offers practical advice on becoming more aware and fluent in nonverbal communication, including the value of recording oneself to gain self-awareness and improve.

Takeaways

• 🎙️ The podcast 'Think Fast, Talk Smart' is nominated for a Webby Award and requests listeners to vote for them at fastersmarter.io/webby.
• 📚 Matt Abrahams, who teaches Strategic Communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business, hosts the podcast and emphasizes the importance of nonverbal communication.
• 🧑‍🏫 Dana Carney, the George Quist chair in business ethics at Berkeley's Haas School of Business, is the guest speaker and discusses her research on nonverbal behaviors that communicate biases, preferences, power, and status.
• 🤝 Nonverbal communication is divided into perception and expression, with visual, verbal, and vocal components, and Dana adds the importance of facial and body language as separate channels.
• 👀 Eye contact is highlighted as a powerful nonverbal tool to convey power, intelligence, and warmth, and is controllable and beneficial for effective communication.
• 📏 'Expansion' is another key nonverbal behavior discussed, which includes taking up physical space, speaking slowly, and expanding one's presence in various ways.
• 🌐 Cultural and contextual differences in nonverbal communication are acknowledged, with an emphasis on understanding and adapting to these nuances for effective interaction.
• 🔑 The importance of having clear communication goals is stressed, as it influences the choice of nonverbal cues to convey the intended message.
• 💡 Nonverbal cues can sometimes be more revealing than verbal communication, especially in situations where people may not be fully aware of their biases or are incentivized to hide their true feelings.
• 🔄 The process of improving nonverbal communication involves repetition, reflection, and feedback, including self-recording and self-analysis to become more aware of one's nonverbal presence.
• 🤔 Coherence across different communication channels (face, body, voice, words) is a key indicator of credibility and confidence, and inconsistency may signal internal conflict or deception.

Q & A

What is the significance of the Webby Award nomination mentioned in the script?

The Webby Award is a prestigious recognition in the internet industry. Being nominated for this award signifies that the podcast episode featuring Kim Scott of Radical Candor has been acknowledged for its excellence and is considered among the top content in its category.

What are the three Vs of nonverbal communication as mentioned by Matt Abrahams?

The three Vs of nonverbal communication are Visual, Verbal, and Vocal. Visual refers to what we see, Verbal includes the words, fillers, and spaces in speech, and Vocal pertains to the manner in which words are spoken.

How does Dana Carney define nonverbal communication in terms of perception and expression?

Dana Carney defines nonverbal communication by emphasizing two main aspects: perception, which involves the nonverbal behaviors we need to pay attention to in order to understand others or situations, and expression, which concerns the behaviors we use to convey certain attributes or messages.

What does Dana Carney suggest as two nonverbal behaviors that people can control to convey power?

Dana Carney suggests eye contact and expansion as two nonverbal behaviors that people can control to convey power. Eye contact helps in taking up space with one's gaze, while expansion can be achieved through physical space, the duration of speech, or the volume of one's voice.

How does Dana Carney describe the role of culture and context in nonverbal communication?

Dana Carney explains that culture and context play significant roles in nonverbal communication. While some nonverbal cues like eye contact are fairly consistent across cultures, the interpretation of these cues can vary. For example, the appropriateness of eye contact can differ based on whether one is speaking or being spoken to.

What are the five nonverbal rules of power as discussed by Dana Carney?

The five nonverbal rules of power, as outlined by Dana Carney, are areas of nonverbal behavior that, when remembered and applied, can help individuals tap into a sense of power. The specific rules are not detailed in the transcript, but two examples provided are eye contact and expansion.

How does Dana Carney view the importance of verbal content versus nonverbal behavior in communication?

Dana Carney believes that both verbal content and nonverbal behavior are extremely important in communication. She suggests that nonverbal cues can sometimes be more meaningful than verbal ones, particularly in situations where people may not be aware of their biases or are incentivized not to reveal their true thoughts or feelings.

What is the role of context in nonverbal communication according to the script?

Context plays a crucial role in nonverbal communication as it can change the interpretation of both verbal and nonverbal cues. The same words can have different meanings in different environments, and understanding the context is key to navigating nonverbal communication effectively.

How does Dana Carney suggest assessing the effectiveness of one's nonverbal communication?

Dana Carney suggests assessing nonverbal communication by recording oneself, setting clear goals for the interaction beforehand, and then reviewing the recording to see if the intended messages were sent effectively. Additionally, seeking feedback from others can provide insight into how one's nonverbals are perceived.

What are some ways to practice and improve nonverbal communication skills as suggested by Dana Carney?

Dana Carney recommends practicing nonverbal behaviors that align with one's goals for an interaction, reflecting on whether those behaviors were effective in achieving the intended outcome, and seeking feedback from others to understand how one's nonverbal cues are perceived.

What does Dana Carney consider as the first three ingredients for successful communication?

Dana Carney identifies three key ingredients for successful communication: having a clear goal for the interaction, knowing the nonverbal behaviors that best convey one's intended message, and practicing these behaviors until they become natural and unconscious.