Lily Myers - Shrinking Women

Summary

This poignant narrative explores the complex dynamics within a family, where the mother’s shrinking presence contrasts with the father’s expansion. Through the lens of food and body image, the narrator reflects on generational patterns of women shrinking to make space for men. The story touches on themes of inheritance, gender roles, and internalized behaviors, as the narrator recognizes the subtle, often painful lessons absorbed from her mother, and the conflicting emotions of mimicry, resentment, and self-awareness. It paints a vivid picture of family ties, personal struggles, and the weight of unspoken expectations.

Takeaways

• 😊 The narrator's mother subtly restricts her food intake, while projecting the idea that she doesn't deprive herself.
• 🤔 The narrator becomes highly attuned to her mother's habits, recognizing that her mother only eats when she suggests it.
• 🏡 The house feels larger each time the narrator returns, symbolizing the mother's shrinking presence.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The father's indulgence contrasts with the mother's restraint, reflecting a family dynamic of gendered behaviors.
• 🍽️ The narrator reflects on a family history of women 'shrinking,' both physically and emotionally, to accommodate men.
• 🧠 The narrator contrasts herself with her brother, who was taught to express and expand, while she was taught to shrink and filter.
• 🔄 Over time, the narrator unconsciously picks up her mother's habits, despite trying to resist or hate them.
• 👩‍👧 The narrator feels trapped in this cycle of silence and accommodation, which has been passed down through generations of women.
• 😔 The narrator expresses frustration over the obsession with food and space, which has become a burden she carries across her life.
• 🍕 Despite her intellectual pursuits, the narrator is constantly preoccupied with food, reflecting a deep internalized struggle with worth and space.

Q & A

What is the significance of the mother's red wine being consumed from a measuring glass?

The measuring glass symbolizes the mother's calculated control over her consumption, suggesting a deeper, possibly troubled relationship with food and indulgence.

How does the narrator perceive their mother's relationship with food?

The narrator observes that the mother appears to eat only when prompted and offers uneaten food, indicating a possible deprivation or discomfort with food. The mother’s actions show nuance and restraint.

What contrast is presented between the narrator's mother and father in the script?

The mother is described as shrinking, representing fragility and restraint, while the father is depicted as waxing, growing larger and indulging in wine, food, and a carefree lifestyle, highlighting a physical and emotional divergence between them.

What generational pattern does the narrator suggest exists within their family, particularly among the women?

The narrator suggests that the women in the family have a pattern of shrinking, accommodating men in their lives and leaving space unfilled after the men leave. This shrinking seems to be a learned behavior passed from one generation to the next.

How does the narrator view the behavior of their brother in contrast to their own?

The narrator contrasts their own filtered, accommodating nature with their brother’s unfiltered, confident expression. They suggest their brother learned to expand and emit from their father, while they were taught to shrink and absorb.

What does the phrase 'circular obsession' refer to in the context of the script?

The 'circular obsession' refers to the narrator’s constant preoccupation with food, body image, and the space they are allowed to occupy, a fixation they wish to break but have inherited from their family.

What role does the house play in the narrator’s internal conflict?

The house symbolizes the ever-growing burden of family expectations and inherited behaviors. As the narrator’s mother shrinks, the house seems larger, representing the growing weight of these issues on the narrator.

Why does the narrator mention asking questions in class starting with 'sorry'?

The narrator’s habit of apologizing reflects their internalized tendency to shrink, minimize their presence, and feel as though they take up too much space, even in intellectual or public settings.

What does the narrator mean by 'inheritance is accidental'?

The narrator implies that the patterns of behavior, particularly around food, body image, and space, are passed down unintentionally. Despite not wanting to inherit these issues, the narrator finds themselves affected by them.

What is the emotional tone conveyed by the final image of the mother with 'wine-stained lips' staring from across the kitchen table?

The image of the mother with wine-stained lips staring across the table conveys a sense of melancholy, burden, and inevitability. It suggests the weight of the family's shared struggles with food, identity, and space, which the narrator feels unable to escape.