I was born from surrogacy and I am now fighting against surrogacy Here is my speech Olivia Maurel

Summary

The speaker, a child born from surrogacy, shares a deeply personal account of the emotional and psychological impact of being treated as a transactional object. They recount the trauma of abandonment, struggles with mental health, and the intergenerational effects on their own children. The narrative underscores the urgent need to abolish surrogacy to protect the rights and well-being of children, arguing against its normalization and the systemic issues it perpetuates.

Takeaways

• 🙇‍♀️ The speaker is a child born from surrogacy and is now an advocate against it, sharing their personal story to highlight the emotional and psychological impacts.
• 🤝 Surrogacy often disregards the consent of the child born, treating them as a product to be sold, similar to objects ordered from a factory.
• 👶 The speaker's biological parents were a successful couple who chose surrogacy due to infertility issues and a desire for a biological child.
• 🏥 The surrogacy process involved selecting a surrogate mother based on specific criteria, and the speaker was born through traditional surrogacy, biologically related to the surrogate.
• 💔 The speaker's biological mother was in a vulnerable state, having suffered a personal tragedy and financial difficulties, which the agency exploited.
• 🗓️ The speaker's birth date was chosen by the intended parents, illustrating a lack of autonomy and the commodification of the child.
• 😢 The speaker experienced severe trauma from abandonment and struggled with mental health issues, addiction, and suicidal thoughts throughout their life.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The trauma and mental health issues faced by the speaker have had a transgenerational impact, affecting their own children as well.
• 🧬 The speaker was diagnosed with bipolar disease, possibly inherited from their biological mother, highlighting the importance of genetic and medical history in surrogacy.
• ❌ The speaker calls for the abolition of surrogacy, arguing that it is unethical and has lifelong negative consequences for the children involved, and that no regulation can make it acceptable.

Q & A

What is the speaker's stance on surrogacy?

The speaker is against surrogacy and is advocating for its abolition, believing it to be unethical and harmful to the children born through it.

Why does the speaker feel emotionally connected to the topic of surrogacy?

The speaker is emotionally connected to the topic because they were born through surrogacy and have experienced the negative effects of it throughout their life.

What are some of the negative effects the speaker attributes to being born through surrogacy?

The speaker attributes trauma of abandonment, difficulty forming friendships, fear of rejection, alcohol addiction, suicidal attempts, and mental health issues such as bipolar disease to being born through surrogacy.

How does the speaker describe the process of surrogacy in terms of children's consent?

The speaker describes the process of surrogacy as one where children are not given consent and are treated as objects or products, similar to cars being ordered from factories.

What was the age difference between the speaker's intended parents when they decided to have a child?

The speaker's intended father was 37 and the mother was 48 when they decided to have a child.

Why did the speaker's intended parents choose surrogacy over adoption?

The speaker's intended parents chose surrogacy over adoption because the father wanted a child from his own genes.

How does the speaker feel about their biological mother's situation during her surrogacy?

The speaker feels that the surrogacy agency took advantage of their biological mother's vulnerable situation, using her need for money and not thoroughly considering her mental health.

What was the speaker's reaction when they found out they were conceived through surrogacy?

The speaker always felt that something was wrong and they didn't fit in with their family, but it wasn't until they were 30 years old, after a DNA test, that they had physical proof of being born through surrogacy.

How does the speaker's experience with surrogacy affect their children?

The speaker believes that the traumas they experienced due to being born through surrogacy are transgenerational and have affected their children, who also suffer from abandonment and rejection issues.

What does the speaker suggest as the primary reason for abolishing surrogacy?

The speaker suggests that the primary reason for abolishing surrogacy is to protect the rights and psychological well-being of the children born through it.

How does the speaker feel about their intended parents?

The speaker does not feel hatred or blame towards their intended parents; instead, they blame the system that allows surrogacy to continue and potentially cause harm to others.

Outlines

00:00

👶 The Impact of Surrogacy on a Child's Life

The speaker begins by expressing gratitude for the opportunity to share their personal narrative as a child born through surrogacy who now advocates against it. They highlight the emotional weight of their story and the importance of considering the voiceless children born from surrogacy arrangements. The speaker describes the commercialization and objectification of children in surrogacy, likening them to products ordered from a factory. They recount their own birth story, detailing the circumstances leading up to their conception through traditional surrogacy in Kentucky, USA. The narrative includes the intended parents' criteria for a surrogate, the surrogate's psychological state, and the financial motivations behind her decision to become a surrogate. The speaker emphasizes the lack of genuine consent and the profound emotional and psychological impact on children like themselves, born into such arrangements.

05:01

🏥 Birth and the Trauma of Abandonment

This paragraph delves into the speaker's birth and the immediate aftermath, which was marked by the trauma of abandonment. The speaker was not placed with their biological mother but was instead handed over to their intended parents, a moment that initiated a lifelong struggle with feelings of rejection and fear of abandonment. The speaker's childhood was fraught with emotional difficulties, leading to behavioral issues and an inability to form stable relationships. As an adult, these challenges persisted, manifesting in addiction, mental health struggles, and even suicidal tendencies. The speaker's narrative underscores the intergenerational impact of surrogacy, as their own children now grapple with similar traumas. The paragraph concludes with a plea for the abolition of surrogacy, arguing that no regulation can ethically justify the practice.

10:01

🧬 Genetic Inheritance and the Fight Against Surrogacy

The final paragraph of the speaker's testimony addresses the genetic and psychological inheritance they received from their surrogate mother, including a predisposition to mental health issues. The speaker discusses the lack of access to medical history and the potential risks this poses for future generations. They recount their fear and uncertainty when pregnant with their first child, due to the unknown遗传因素 they might pass on. The speaker concludes with a call to action, urging the audience to consider the long-term consequences of surrogacy and to advocate for its abolition. They emphasize that surrogacy's impact extends beyond the individual to future generations, and that the practice can never be ethically justified, regardless of attempts to regulate it.

Keywords

💡Surrogacy

Surrogacy is a practice where a woman carries and gives birth to a child for intended parents who are unable to conceive or carry a child to term. In the video, the speaker shares their personal experience as a child born from surrogacy, highlighting the emotional and psychological impact it had on their life. The term is central to the video's theme, as it explores the ethical implications and personal consequences of surrogacy arrangements.

💡Consent

Consent in this context refers to the voluntary agreement to participate in a particular action or decision. The speaker argues that children born from surrogacy are not given the opportunity to consent to their circumstances, as they are 'ripped from their mother's womb to be sold to strangers.' This lack of consent is a significant ethical concern raised in the video, emphasizing the importance of considering the rights and autonomy of the child.

💡Abandonment

Abandonment is the act of deserting or forsaking someone. The speaker describes the trauma of abandonment they experienced as a child born from surrogacy, being taken from their biological mother immediately after birth and given to adoptive parents. This keyword is crucial to understanding the emotional turmoil the speaker faced and the lasting effects on their mental health.

💡Biological connection

Biological connection refers to the genetic or blood-related link between individuals. The video discusses the speaker's struggle with identity and belonging, as they were biologically connected to their surrogate mother but raised by adoptive parents. This concept is central to the narrative as it explores the complexities of family ties and the impact of being separated from one's biological roots.

💡Mental health

Mental health encompasses a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. The speaker mentions their own struggles with mental health, including alcohol addiction, depression, and bipolar disease, which they link to their experience as a child born from surrogacy. The term underscores the video's message about the long-term emotional consequences of surrogacy on the child.

💡Trauma

Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that has lasting effects on a person's mental health. The video details the speaker's trauma of abandonment and rejection, which they argue was a direct result of being born from surrogacy. The concept of trauma is integral to the video's narrative, as it illustrates the profound and enduring impact of surrogacy on the child's well-being.

💡Transgenerational trauma

Transgenerational trauma refers to the transmission of traumatic experiences from one generation to another. The speaker expresses concern that their own traumas, resulting from being born from surrogacy, are affecting their children. This concept highlights the video's argument that the consequences of surrogacy extend beyond the individual to impact future generations.

💡Ethical considerations

Ethical considerations involve assessing the moral implications of actions or decisions. The video emphasizes the need to consider the ethical implications of surrogacy, particularly the rights and well-being of the child. The speaker argues that surrogacy should be abolished due to its ethically problematic nature, which disregards the child's rights and best interests.

💡Regulation vs. abolition

The video contrasts the idea of regulating surrogacy with the speaker's call for its complete abolition. Regulation implies setting rules and standards to control the practice, while abolition means ending it entirely. The speaker argues for abolition, asserting that surrogacy is inherently unethical and harmful to children, and cannot be made acceptable through regulation.

💡Human rights

Human rights are the basic rights and freedoms to which all individuals are entitled. The video discusses the rights of children born from surrogacy, emphasizing that they should not be treated as commodities or subjects of transactions. The concept of human rights is central to the speaker's argument against surrogacy, as they assert that the practice violates the fundamental rights of the child.

Highlights

The speaker expresses gratitude for being invited to share their personal experience with surrogacy.

They emphasize the emotional impact of being born through surrogacy and advocate for its abolition.

The speaker highlights the lack of consent from children born from surrogacy arrangements.

A critique of surrogacy is presented, likening it to the sale of cars from a factory.

The speaker shares their own story, born from a surrogate mother, to illustrate the emotional and psychological effects.

The importance of considering the long-term effects on children born through surrogacy is discussed.

The story of the speaker's intended parents and their decision to use surrogacy is detailed.

The process of finding a surrogate mother and the criteria involved are explained.

The speaker discusses the financial motivations behind surrogacy and the market's influence on the process.

Mental health issues of the surrogate mother are revealed, questioning the adequacy of agency screenings.

The emotional trauma experienced by the speaker at birth and the separation from the biological mother are described.

The speaker reflects on the planned nature of their birth and how it was not in their best interest.

Childhood traumas, including fear of abandonment, are linked to the speaker's surrogacy origins.

The speaker's struggles with addiction, mental health, and suicidal thoughts are shared.

The impact of surrogacy on the speaker's children and the potential for transgenerational trauma is discussed.

The speaker's journey to self-discovery and understanding their origins through a DNA test is recounted.

The speaker calls for the abolition of surrogacy to protect the rights and well-being of children.

A warning is issued against normalizing surrogacy and the potential for ethical violations.

The speaker concludes by urging the audience to consider the lifelong consequences of surrogacy on individuals.

Transcripts

I'd like to thank everyone here um that

invited me to tell my side of the story

um as a child born from surrogacy and

now fighting against

surrogacy I'm grateful and extremely

honored to be in such a place uh this is

more than I expected and I am very

emotional I have to say um my entire

story I will share with you with a lot

of sincerity a lot of humility uh it's

the first time I'm speaking in front of

such a big group of people that are so

bright so I'm a little nervous I have to

say but I do think that my words today

are

important um because all all too often

unfortunately um we forget the people

that are the most affected by

surrogacy but these people they never

give uh their consent they never have

their word and those are the children

that are born from surrogacy these

children that are rips from their their

mother's of birth to be sold to

strangers kind of like cars that you

order from factories that you I mean

pick options that you may or may not

like um and these children are

considered just like vulgar objects and

products I am today a product of

surrogacy created sold bought and I'd

like to tell you my side of the story so

you can understand how it affected me

and why today we can't just simply

regulate surrogacy um we have to abolish

it purely and simply for the good of the

child and of course for the rights of

children a child should never be the

subject of such a contract and above all

should never ever be the subject of a

transaction so as I said we're now going

to travel back 40 years um that's when

my story all started even before my own

birth my intended parents me my intended

mother already had a son with another

man my parents had a very successful

business very very smart people I have

to give them that um my mother was 11

years older than my father the money was

flowing they were at the peak of their

careers and I do believe that at some

point my

mother kind of forgot her biological

clock

and so at one point they decided to

start a family but it was a little too

late at this stage my father was 48 my

my father sorry was 37 and my mother was

48 and my mother already had problems

with

infertility according to my father with

whom I had a recent

discussion he wanted a child from his

own genes so adoption was completely out

of the of the uh picture and surrogacy

to them was the only option rather than

giving up on having a child selfish

decision I believe but it's their

story so they looked up the United

States and more specifically Louisville

Kentucky um to find an agency that could

help them find a surrogate

mother my parents first gave the agency

of course a list of criteria concerning

the woman that should what she should

look like

I personally was born through tra

traditional surrogacy not gational

surrogacy so my surate mother is

biologically related to

me even though to my opinion it makes

absolutely no difference if the mother

is

biologically linked to the child or not

because to me the mother is the one

who has the child inside her womb for 9

months and of course gives birth to the

the

child about a year goes by where in

1991 my parents um had a surrogate

mother but she wasn't holding the

embryos and so they had to be rematched

with what would be my biological

mother um and thankfully she uh she got

pregnant only two months after signing

the uh the

contract it's often said that the

agencies look at wom's pschology through

very thorough tests that they make sure

they don't have any debt to pay but we

know that that's not true $4 billion was

the surrogacy market in 2022 and do you

honestly think that we're going to look

too closely at women who might even lie

during their

interviews I don't think

so my case is a perfect example my

biological mother and um she wasn't

mentally stable she had a huge history

history with

depression but on top of that just

before I was born she had lost a son age

of 2 and 1/2 years old in an absolute

tragic domestic

accident so I think you can put yourself

in her place mentally she wasn't there

at

all she was completely devastated after

that she was in debt and she had to put

on a brave face for her family her

children and her

husband this

agency that only saw what it wanted to

see when it hired her and that's the

money that she could

generate they abused of a Sit of the

situation of a woman that needed money

to feed her children and pay her

bills so I was born on December 10th

1991 a date that was chosen actually by

my attended parents because funny enough

it fell

between my intendant mother's birthday

who was born on December 5th and my my

biological mother who was born on

December 15th I had to be a Christmas

baby

actually but even that was decided for

me can you imagine in surrogacy births

can even be planned out and decided and

I'm not quite sure how that is in the

best interest of the

child and that's where it gets a bit

emotional for me

um as soon as I was born I wasn't placed

in the arms of my biological

mother the mother who had cared me for

nine months um the one who fed me the

one who spoke to me the one who I felt

every emotion invade her when she was

pregnant the woman who in the end was

the only person I

knew no no I had to take the Great Leap

of the infant out of my mother's womb

into the cold

AER world the hospital

lights and I had to be sold and finalize

the transaction into the arms of My

adoptive parents whom I didn't know

of and that unfortunately was the first

trauma that would write the rest of my

life the trauma of

Abandonment so as a child I was already

showing signs of the trauma the trauma

of uh abandonment my parents couldn't

leave me I would be hysterical I was a

very complicate child um I was always

afraid of rejection I had trouble making

friends

my parents couldn't leave me anywhere

sleepovers parties I would I would go in

this hysterical

crisis and so they couldn't leave me I

was just afraid unfortunately that they

I would suffer a second abandonment

every time they they left

me but at that point in time I was

already going through an inner battle

how could I build myself without knowing

where I could came

from during my adult life things got

worse I sank into

alcohol

addictions I even was raped um because I

was constantly putting myself on agch I

made several suicide

attempts my life wasn't the

best um I had a hard time having normal

friendships I would suffocate people

because I was afraid that they would

leave me I was alone I was very very

lonely I sang into a lot of

depressions I'm

sorry I was also never able to find a

good job I wasn't

stable and I had a hard time finishing

my

studies then thank God I met my husband

uh who gradually helped me rebuild my

life as it is today with a lot of

patience a lot of

love he let me lash out all my emotions

and understood exactly why I reacted the

way I

would today I have three beautiful

children but unfortunately they in turn

suffer from my

traumas my daughter my oldest elanar

suffers from the trauma of

Abandonment and my son Theodore my

second suffers from the trauma of

rejection unfortunately they suffer in

turn from a traumas because I do

thoroughly believe that all of these are

transgenerational so surrogacy didn't

just affect me thank

you thank you surrogacy didn't just

affect me unfortunately it affects my

own children

today they of course have

help

I had proof of the fact that I was born

from surrogacy through a DNA test when I

was turn when I turned 30 I'm 31

today but that was the physical proof

because I always knew inside of me

inside that I didn't fit in I had

problems with my mother I saw that I

didn't connect with her I connected with

my dad because a little bit more because

he was biologically linked to me

but things didn't seem

right and I knew inside me something was

wrong we children were not stupid you

know we're very very smart

people and not so long ago uh I was

diagnosed with bipolar

disease shouldn't shock any of you after

everything I just told

you my biological mother so my surrogate

mother she herself battles with mental

issues and and I do believe I inherited

that from her but how could I know I

never had access to my medical records

on her side and everything was hidden

from

me and she could have lied during the

process

eventually in fact when I got pregnant

from my first child

Elanor I was scared to death I was

scared to death because I didn't know

what I would be passing on to my baby

cancer a genetic dis disease mental

health

issues it's mind-boggling to me to find

that in that it's in the best interest

of the child to hide all of this

information from their from from them

all their of their lives

sorry and that is a brief summary of my

life very very brief I could speak for

hours on my life and all the problems

that surrogacy has caused

me there are always

consequences look at me two people my

intended parents 31 years

ago they made a small decision then a

bigger one and then a more trivial one

and one decision after another I came to

the

world and on that day I was the

consequence of a small Choice made by

two people at a time when I didn't even

exist and this Choice it defined my

entire existence I'm a consequence and I

hope that soon it will be me who will

bring about consequences to abolish the

atrocity of

surrogacy but be careful in my words I

you'll never see me blaming my

parents they used a process that was

just an offer an option offered to them

on a silver PL platter and they didn't

have the strength to resist it today I

don't feel any hatred for them I don't

blame them I love

them but however I do blame the system

that is slowly but surely allowing

surrogacy to be

legalized first we approved the use of

surrogacy for medical reasons such as

infertility after we accept it for

social reasons and then we accept it for

anything and everything and for reasons

of human trafficking the sale of

children the unavailability of the human

body for ethical bioethical

reasons surrogacy has to be abolished

but in my humble opinion and I'm

not uh a doctor or just a child the

greatest reason to abolish this

monstrosity is for the sake of the child

for his or her rights for a psychic

balance that he or she like me may never

ever

regain and I'm just going to finish with

this and this is to all of you that may

think that this is normal to I mean

surrogacy is normal and we should maybe

regulate

it if just one child like me has

encountered so many problems in his or

her life as a result of surgy that

should be enough to convince all of you

that there's nothing good about this

process and that nothing can make it

ethical despite all of your attempts to

persuade yourself otherwise thank you

for your

time