What to do if your inner voice is cruel | Ethan Kross

Summary

The video script explores the phenomenon of 'chatter,' the constant inner dialogue that occupies a significant portion of our waking hours. Ethan Kross, a psychology professor and author, delves into the evolutionary purpose of this inner voice, its benefits as a problem-solving tool, and its potential downsides, such as difficulty focusing, strained relationships, and negative health effects. Kross offers science-based strategies to regain control over chatter, including rituals that provide a sense of order and control. He emphasizes the importance of finding personalized combinations of tools to effectively manage one's inner voice.

Takeaways

• 😶 Chatter refers to the negative inner voice and unproductive self-talk that occupies a significant portion of our waking hours.
• 🧠 The inner voice evolved as a tool to help humans navigate the world through problem-solving, planning, self-control, and creating narratives.
• 😩 While the inner voice can be helpful, excessive chatter can lead to problems like difficulty focusing, strained relationships, irritability, and negative physical health effects.
• 😌 There are science-based techniques, such as rituals, that can help individuals regain control over their inner voice and manage chatter.
• 🔄 Rituals, defined as ordered sequences of behaviors performed rigidly, can provide a sense of order and control when grappling with chatter.
• 🎾 Professional athletes like Rafael Nadal use rituals to manage the inner voice and chatter during competitions.
• 🔑 There is no one-size-fits-all solution for managing chatter; individuals must find the unique combination of tools that works best for them.
• 🙂 Experiencing chatter is a normal part of the human condition and does not make someone weaker or less capable.
• ⏳ Chatter can perpetuate stress responses long after the initial stressor has passed, leading to potential health issues like cardiovascular disease, inflammation, and cancer.
• 🌟 The key is to harness the inner voice as a tool for problem-solving and personal growth while minimizing the negative effects of excessive, unproductive chatter.

Q & A

What is 'chatter' and how does it impact our lives?

Chatter refers to the negative internal monologue or self-talk that occupies a significant portion of our waking hours. It involves ruminating, worrying, and catastrophizing, which can lead to a negative cycle that hinders our ability to find solutions and be present in the moment.

What are some potential evolutionary purposes of our inner voice?

Scientists believe our inner voice evolved as a tool to help us navigate the world. It aids in problem-solving, simulating and planning scenarios, self-control, and creating narratives that shape our identities.

How can chatter negatively impact our relationships and health?

Chatter can create friction in relationships by causing us to repetitively talk about our problems and be poor listeners. It can also lead to irritability, displaced aggression, and chronic stress, which is linked to cardiovascular disease, inflammation, and even cancer.

What is a 'ritual' and how can it help manage chatter?

A ritual is an ordered sequence of behaviors that we rigidly perform in the same way each time. Engaging in rituals can provide a sense of order and control, which can be helpful when overwhelmed by chatter.

Can you provide an example of a ritual used to manage chatter?

The tennis player Rafael Nadal engages in a specific ritual during breaks in play to manage his inner chatter. He takes sips from two water bottles and places them back in a diagonal position on his bench, following the same sequence each time.

Is experiencing chatter a sign of weakness?

No, experiencing chatter is not a sign of weakness. The speaker states that "You are human for experiencing chatter, so welcome to the human condition."

How does our inner voice contribute to our 'Verbal Working Memory System'?

Our inner voice is part of what is called our 'Verbal Working Memory System', which is a basic feature of the human mind that helps us keep verbal information active in our heads.

What are some positive functions of our inner voice?

Some positive functions of our inner voice include simulating and planning scenarios, helping us control ourselves, and allowing us to 'storify' our lives by creating narratives that shape our understanding of our identity.

Is there a single tool that works for everyone to manage chatter?

No, there is no single tool that works for all people in all situations to help manage chatter. The real challenge is to figure out the unique combinations of tools that work best for each individual.

What is the speaker's recommendation for managing chatter?

The speaker suggests that there is a science-based toolkit that can help regain control of our inner voice, including tools we can use on our own, ways of harnessing our relationships with others, and even ways of interacting with physical environments.