EMOZIONI: cosa sono e perché ci spaventano invece che aiutarci

Dott. Alessandro Conforti Di Lorenzo
1 Apr 202211:42

Summary

TLDRIn this insightful talk, psychologist Alessandro Conforti explores the societal and cultural systems that have conditioned us to fear our emotions, rather than harnessing them as resources for personal growth and success. He identifies four key areas—religion, science, education, and work—that have historically discouraged emotional expression, leading to internalized fear, guilt, and suppression. Conforti challenges this paradigm by offering a transformative 10-session program designed to help professionals and entrepreneurs overcome emotional barriers, embrace their full emotional spectrum, and unlock their potential for creativity and productivity. By shifting from viewing emotions as hindrances to recognizing them as adaptive responses, individuals can improve their relationships, self-awareness, and overall well-being.

Takeaways

  • 🧠 Emotions as Adaptive Responses: The speaker discusses how emotions are natural adaptive responses to environmental stimuli, but society often encourages suppressing them instead of using them as resources.
  • 🗣️ Fear of Public Speaking: The fear of expressing one's opinion publicly and the fear of judgment can limit personal expression and opportunities.
  • 💡 Transforming Fear into Resources: The speaker emphasizes the importance of transforming fear from a limiting factor into a resource that can help achieve goals.
  • 🔥 Anger Management: The inability to manage one's anger can lead to explosive outbursts or repressed feelings, affecting personal relationships and interactions with others.
  • 💔 Handling Failure and Pain: The fear of failure and the tendency to avoid it can lead to self-imposed limitations and missed opportunities for growth.
  • 🚫 Avoidance of Pleasure: The speaker addresses the guilt associated with enjoying the moment without doing anything, which is a natural human emotion that should not be suppressed.
  • 🌐 Four Socio-Cultural Systems: Religion, science, education, and work are identified as four systems that have contributed to the suppression of emotions in society.
  • 🏫 Education and Emotion: The education system often teaches students to suppress emotions, such as not crying or showing weakness, which can impact emotional intelligence and expression.
  • 💼 Workplace Emotion Suppression: In the workplace, there is a common belief that emotions should be left at home, which can hinder authentic leadership and emotional well-being.
  • 🔄 Emotions and Decision Making: Recent neuroscience discoveries show that emotional structures in the brain are activated before making decisions, highlighting the importance of acknowledging and understanding emotions.
  • 🛠️ Personal and Professional Transformation: The speaker offers a 10-meeting program designed to help free professionals and entrepreneurs overcome emotional blocks, improve self-awareness, and enhance productivity and creativity in their work and personal lives.

Q & A

  • Why do we often fear our emotions instead of using them to guide us towards achieving our goals?

    -Our fear of emotions stems from societal and cultural adaptations that have taught us to view emotions as limitations rather than resources. This is due to the influence of four socio-cultural systems: religion, science, education, and work, which have shaped our understanding and expression of emotions.

  • How does the fear of public speaking limit us?

    -The fear of public speaking can limit our ability to express our opinions and share our thoughts with others, potentially missing out on opportunities to influence and connect with people.

  • What are the consequences of repressing anger?

    -Repressed anger can lead to an explosion of the emotion at an inappropriate time or situation, causing harm to relationships and one's ability to manage conflicts effectively.

  • How do societal systems contribute to our perception of emotions as obstacles?

    -Societal systems such as religion, science, education, and work have historically encouraged suppression of emotions, framing them as weaknesses or distractions rather than adaptive responses to environmental stimuli.

  • What is the role of pleasure in our lives?

    -Pleasure is a fundamental emotion that indicates we are doing well and feeling good. It motivates us to engage in activities that are beneficial and enjoyable, contributing to our overall well-being and productivity.

  • How has the concept of guilt been associated with emotions like anger and pleasure?

    -Guilt has been associated with emotions like anger and pleasure through religious teachings, which often label these feelings as sinful or inappropriate, leading to internal conflict and suppression of these natural emotions.

  • What is the impact of the educational system on emotional expression?

    -The educational system often discourages emotional expression, promoting an environment where students are expected to suppress feelings such as sadness or fear in order to maintain a facade of strength and focus on academic tasks.

  • How does the workplace influence our handling of emotions?

    -In the workplace, there is a common expectation that emotions should be left at home, and leaders or entrepreneurs are often discouraged from showing emotions to maintain credibility. This can lead to emotional suppression and difficulty in managing stress and relationships.

  • What is the significance of the neuroscience discoveries regarding emotions and decision-making?

    -Neuroscience has shown that emotional structures in the brain, such as the amygdala and the limbic system, are activated before cognitive choices are made. This indicates that emotions play a crucial role in our decision-making processes and should not be ignored or suppressed.

  • How can understanding and managing our emotions lead to personal and professional growth?

    -By understanding and managing our emotions, we can transform them from limitations to resources, leading to improved self-awareness, better relationships, and enhanced productivity and creativity in our personal and professional lives.

  • What is the process described for helping individuals overcome emotional blocks?

    -The process involves a 10-meeting journey designed to help free professionals and small entrepreneurs overcome emotional difficulties, leading to better self-management, improved relationships, and the ability to achieve goals and express oneself fully.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Understanding Emotions and Sociocultural Systems

This paragraph discusses the fear of emotions and how they are not barriers but resources to guide us towards our goals. It introduces the concept of four sociocultural systems that prevent people from utilizing emotions as skills. These systems include religion, science, school, and work, which have shaped our understanding of emotions as something to be avoided rather than embraced. The speaker, Alessandro Conforti, a psychologist, aims to help professionals overcome emotional blocks through a 10-meeting process that encourages self-awareness and personal growth.

05:02

🌟 The Role of Pleasure, Pain, Fear, and Anger

The second paragraph delves into the four basic emotions of fear, pain, anger, and pleasure, which are universal in humans. It explains how these emotions have been historically repressed or misinterpreted by the sociocultural systems mentioned earlier. The speaker argues that these emotions are adaptive responses to environmental stimuli and should be acknowledged and managed rather than suppressed. The paragraph also introduces the idea that by understanding and utilizing these emotions, individuals can become more productive, creative, and fulfilled in their personal and professional lives.

10:02

🚀 Personal Transformation Through Emotional Intelligence

In the final paragraph, the speaker shares his approach to personal development through emotional intelligence. He emphasizes the difference he makes in people's lives by helping them achieve better productivity, focus, and creativity in their work and relationships. The speaker's methodology combines theory and practical application, aiming to unblock emotional barriers and facilitate personal growth. He invites interested individuals to join his limited course, offering a personal video call to discuss how the process can benefit them.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Emotions

Emotions are internal experiences that can significantly influence our behavior and decision-making. In the context of the video, emotions are portrayed as powerful forces that, when properly understood and managed, can guide us towards achieving our goals. However, societal and cultural systems often encourage suppression or mismanagement of emotions, leading to fear, guilt, and other negative outcomes.

💡Adaptation

Adaptation refers to the process of adjusting to new conditions or environments. In the video, it is discussed in the context of how humans have adapted to societal expectations and norms that often discourage the expression and healthy management of emotions. This adaptation has led to emotional suppression and mishandling, which can hinder personal growth and goal achievement.

💡Public Speaking

Public speaking is the act of speaking to a group of people, usually with the intent to inform, persuade, or entertain. In the video, the fear of public speaking is highlighted as a common emotional challenge that can limit an individual's ability to express their opinions and ideas confidently. This fear can stem from the worry of being judged or failing, which in turn can prevent individuals from seizing opportunities.

💡Fear

Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. In the context of the video, fear is discussed as a powerful emotion that, when not properly managed, can lead to avoidance behaviors and self-imposed limitations. The speaker emphasizes the transformation of fear from a limiting factor to a resource that can guide and empower individuals.

💡Anger

Anger is an intense emotional response to a perceived provocation, hurt, or threat. In the video, anger is portrayed as an emotion that, when repressed or mishandled, can lead to destructive outcomes such as explosive outbursts or damaged relationships. The speaker suggests that understanding and managing anger is crucial for healthy emotional expression and interpersonal interactions.

💡Pleasure

Pleasure is a feeling of happiness, satisfaction, or enjoyment. In the video, pleasure is described as a fundamental human emotion that, when indulged in without guilt or fear, can contribute positively to our well-being and productivity. However, societal norms often discourage the pursuit of pleasure, leading to feelings of guilt or shame.

💡Socio-Cultural Systems

Socio-cultural systems refer to the complex networks of social and cultural norms, values, and practices that shape individual and collective behavior. In the video, these systems are identified as key factors that influence how people perceive and manage their emotions. The speaker argues that these systems often promote the suppression of emotions, leading to personal and societal challenges.

💡Personal Growth

Personal growth refers to the process of improving oneself through increased self-awareness, learning, and development. In the video, personal growth is linked to the healthy management of emotions. The speaker suggests that by understanding and utilizing emotions as resources, individuals can overcome self-imposed limitations and achieve their goals more effectively.

💡Emotional Management

Emotional management is the ability to recognize, understand, and effectively handle one's emotions. In the video, emotional management is portrayed as a critical skill for personal and professional success. The speaker emphasizes the importance of transforming emotions from limitations to resources through increased self-awareness and practical application.

💡Neuroscience

Neuroscience is the scientific study of the nervous system and brain function, including how these systems process emotions. In the video, neuroscience discoveries are mentioned to support the idea that emotions play a crucial role in decision-making and that suppressing them can be detrimental. The speaker uses these findings to argue for the importance of acknowledging and utilizing emotions rather than suppressing them.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the conscious recognition and understanding of one's own emotions, thoughts, and motivations. In the video, self-awareness is emphasized as a fundamental aspect of emotional management and personal growth. By becoming more self-aware, individuals can better understand their emotional responses and make more informed decisions that align with their goals and values.

Highlights

The fear of emotions and how they can be transformed from limitations to resources.

The impact of societal and cultural systems on the way people handle emotions.

Four basic human emotions: fear, pain, anger, and pleasure, and their role in our daily lives.

The fear of public speaking and its limiting effect on expressing opinions.

The relationship between fear of failure and missed opportunities.

The struggle with anger, either repressing it or failing to control its expression.

The guilt associated with enjoying the moment without doing anything.

The four socio-cultural systems identified as influencing emotional management: religion, science, school, and work.

How religion has historically pushed emotions aside, especially pleasure and anger.

The scientific perspective on emotions as adaptive responses to environmental stimuli.

The role of schools in teaching students to suppress emotions like fear and pain.

The workplace's expectation that emotions be left at home to maintain credibility.

The neuroscientific discoveries about the brain's emotional structures and decision-making.

The importance of understanding and utilizing emotions for personal growth and success.

The speaker's approach to helping individuals recognize and change their emotional patterns.

The integration of theory and practice in the speaker's method to achieve personal and professional improvement.

The transformation in personal and professional life as a result of the speaker's ten-session program.

The limited availability of the speaker's course and the application process.

Transcripts

play00:00

ciao ti sei mai chiesto perchè abbiamo

play00:02

paura delle nostre emozioni e queste ci

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spaventano invece che

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guidarci verso il raggiungimento dei

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nostri obiettivi è il nostro adattamento

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nel nostro mondo in cui viviamo sono

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alessandro conforti uno psicologo e

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voglio parlarti di quattro sistemi socio

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culturali che

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secondo una mia analisi

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stanno portando le persone a non

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sfruttare le emozioni per quello che

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sono cioè delle

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competenze che potrebbero aiutarci a

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fare qualcosa che ogni giorno

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desideriamo la paura di parlare in

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pubblico le mie provata ti ha mai è

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limitato a esprimere la tua opinione

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con la paura di sbagliare di essere

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giudicato e quindi di perdere

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un'occasione d'oro oppure di provare

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dolore sofferenza per un fallimento

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cercando di dimenticare di non pensarci

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e questo ti tornava sempre nella mente

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come un tarlo che ti

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ossessionava oppure la rabbia è provato

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a

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reprimerla fino a poi ad esplodere

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oppure sì subito esposto senza riuscire

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a controllarla

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o ancora peggio quella rabbia che ti ha

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impedito quella rabbia dell'altra

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persona che tu non sei riuscito a

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gestire non hai voluto gestire quindi ai

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limitato la tua relazione con questa

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persona proprio per l'incapacità di

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gestire quella rabbia aggressività

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altrui e infine il piacere

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il piacere di godersi il momento senza

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far nulla

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il piacere di dedicarci a qualcosa che

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ci fa star bene quante volte ti sei

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sentito in colpa di questo ha travolto

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da un'onda di piacere che si spaventa

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paura dolore rabbia e piacere queste

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quattro sono le nozioni di base che in

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tutti gli esseri umani si esprimano non

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preoccuparti se sono tante le situazioni

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in cui tu ti sei sentito così travolto

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non sei l'unico nashville unica non è

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colpa tua ma è

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responsabilità da un lato

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delle in questi quattro sistemi socio

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culturali di cui ti pareva adesso è un

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po anche la nostra

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responsabilità nel fare ogni giorno

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delle azioni che non trasformano le

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emozioni da limite a risorsa e ne ho

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parlato in altri video del come siano

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tentati a evitare di rischiare evitare

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di fallire

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evitare di esporsi con la paura di non

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farcela e questo ci rende sempre più

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insicuri sempre più incapaci e ho creato

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un percorso di 10 incontri che aiuta

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liberi professionisti piccoli

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imprenditori a

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superare quei blocchi quelle difficoltà

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legate alle proprie emozioni ha

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difficoltà a gestire se stessi nelle

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relazioni con gli altri al punto da

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non riuscire a raggiungere l'obiettivo è

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dare il meglio di sè e quindi gli aiuto

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essere sempre più esperti di se stessi

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delle proprie mancini e degli altri per

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potersi finalmente

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liberare ed esprimere al meglio per

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essere creativi produttivi realizzarsi

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nella vita con un lavoro che può far

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star bene se stessi e po fa star bene

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agli altri

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oggi non ti parlo di come gestire le

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emozioni non pagarci in altri

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video o in altri post sono su instagram

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pubblico dei contenuti che sono

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esclusivi quindi se non mi segue chi

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aspetto di oggi voglio presentarti

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quattro sistemi socio culturali

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religione scienza

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una scuola e il lavoro

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i quattro a mio parere non solo il mio

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hanno spinto gli uomini a tenerci

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lontani da queste emozioni che sono

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delle risposte adattive del nostro corpo

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della nostra mente a degli stimoli

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ambientali

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se non fosse per la paura scendendo una

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scala e simulando la mettere hanno

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distinto le mani il per terra senza la

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rabbia non ci difenderemo distinto da

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qualcosa che possa attaccarci impedire

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qualcosa come anche dolore che ci aiuta

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a chiuderci gli stessi a trovare le

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forze le risorse dentro di noi per stare

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bene e far fronte a quello che abbiamo

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perso e poi infine il piacere che è

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l'emozione è più che semplice di cui non

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c'è bisogno di spendere molte parole

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perché col piacere noi stiamo bene e

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quando nostra bene riesce a essere

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produttivo e capace di gestire se stesso

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e gli altri nel proprio non voglio

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parlarti di questo ne parla durante il

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mio percorso che dura dieci incontri ma

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adesso voglio presentarti questi quattro

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arrivò al punto

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macrosistemi la religione il piacere è

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sempre stato messo da parte privato e la

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mano del diavolo la rabbia anche genere

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sensi di colpa e poi la colpa né

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possiamo e spiarla con la confessione da

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preghiera a quanto è difficile non farsi

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travolgere dal piacere e quanto nella

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storia il piacere realmente è riuscito a

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restare nelle quattro mura di una

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struttura

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secondo la scienza

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nel seicento arriva a grillo che ride ed

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altri scienziati che dicono ok abbiamo

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trovato molto per studiare la realtà il

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mondo in modo oggettivo attraverso un

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metodo dove l'uomo non può farci

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cominciare dalle emozioni peccato che

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poi la

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fisica quantistica e relativismo di

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einstein ha subito scoperto che esiste

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una realtà senza qualcuno che la osserva

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poi abbiamo una scuola non devi piangere

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devi essere forte non soffrire quante

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volte ce l'hanno detto

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e quando stava per suonare la campanella

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il sabato e non vedevano l'ora di

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tornare a casa

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iniziava ad agitarsi tutta l'aula cosa

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faceva cosa si diceva tutti fermi tutti

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seduti preparate lo zaino bloccate le

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vostre emozioni non lasciate esprimere e

play06:53

sarebbe cambiato se la mestre ci avesse

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detto adesso questi cinque minuti ognuno

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ci dice che cosa farà di bello questo

play07:01

weekend quindi lasciare che l'emozione

play07:05

del piacere potesse già

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esprimersi infine il lavoro più volte

play07:11

misti mi è stato detto quando lavoravo

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con gli apprendisti di azienda oa volte

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con degli imprenditori che al lavoro le

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emozioni si lascino a casa

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il

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leader e l'imprenditore non può

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esprimere emozioni altrimenti perde di

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credibilità

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peccato poiché tornando a casa tutta la

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rabbia tutto lo stress indovina un po

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con chi l'ha scaricava di assumendo

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regione scuola lavoro scienza ha portato

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l'uomo a costruirsi una concezione

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un'idea delle emozioni come qualcosa da

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temi al vantano ed a non utilizzare nei

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momenti di relazione con gli altri ed

play08:00

ecco che ci spaventiamo quando prima di

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un colloquio sentiamo quell'adrenalina

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che arriva piano paura di perdere il

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controllo

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e l'attacco di panico arriva proprio

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quando cerchiamo di trattenere soffocare

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le emozioni

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peccato che tutta la rabbia accumulata

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poi la lasciamo esplodere per non

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parlare del carcere scoperte degli

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ultimi anni delle neuroscienze

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hanno dimostrato come nel nostro

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cervello

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si attivano delle strutture legate alle

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emozioni prima di fare una scelta cioè

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sono state presentate delle immagini

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delle persone in quali dovevano

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esprimere una valutazione buono cattivo

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disgustoso piacevole prima di fare

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questa scelta cognitiva

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nel cervello la

play08:56

nostra

play08:57

amigdala nostro sistema limbico che sono

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delle strutture del nostro cervello si

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erano già attivate quindi pensare di

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di non conoscere bene le nostre nazioni

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e di tenerle lontane e va solamente a

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nostro sfavore ecco perché io lavoro

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ogni giorno con le persone che sono

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intenzionate conoscere meglio questo

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universo

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del dell'essere umano che mi porto

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dietro da tanti anni in cui ho studiato

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psicologia e sto applicando attraverso

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le mie consulenze il mio amico qing e le

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mie docenze e ho raccolto in un unico

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percorso in cui teoria e pratica

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vengono utilizzate per la persona al

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fine di iniziare a cambiare prospettiva

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cambiare se stesso la propria vita e

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anche gli altri perché come disse grandi

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se vuoi un cambiamento nel mondo e negli

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altri quello che devi cambiare

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e te stesso kami il tuo approccio a te

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stesso nel lavoro che sta svolgendo

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avendo dei risultati in termini di

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produttività di concentrazione di

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creatività nel tuo lavoro a contatto con

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i tuoi clienti e collaboratori ma poi è

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la differenza di questo che le persone

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fanno con me e che i risultati si vedono

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anche negli altri ambiti della vita e

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negli altri sistemi in cui la persona

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inserito quindi nella propria famiglia

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anche per strada in bar e il modo di

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approcciarsi agli altri cambia

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completamente

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ma si parla di massima sistemi di teoria

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di filosofia solamente ma anche di

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pratica concreta quotidiana in cui si

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sperimenta quello che si impara e quello

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che si condivide quindi si applica nel

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presente senza andare nel passato nel

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profondo della persona quello che serve

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per risolvere i problemi raggiungere gli

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obiettivi oggi adesso in tempi brevi nel

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giro di quattro incontri già il primo

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sblocco avviene nel giro di cinque mesi

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appena un cambiamento consistente trovi

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testimonianze sul sito web su sezione

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dicono di me o video su youtube e su

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instagram può continuare a seguirmi se

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si è interessato e saperne di più ho

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aperto le iscrizioni

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al corso che è limitato a sei persone

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fissa la videochiamata ci conosciamo

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vediamo se possiamo lavorare insieme se

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il percorso può fare per te e iniziano

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altrimenti sarà stato un piacere averti

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conosciuto ciao

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