I read 100 self-help books. Here’s what I learned…

Summary

The video explores the evolution of self-help from a secretive interest to a mainstream phenomenon. The speaker, who read 100 self-help books, emphasizes the importance of taking action on what you learn rather than just consuming information. He discusses key takeaways, like confronting fears, the value of note-taking, and the need to critically adapt advice to your own life. Ultimately, the message is about being an active participant in your self-development journey, applying insights that resonate with you, and becoming your own guide.

Takeaways

• 📚 Self-help has transitioned from a stigmatized interest to a mainstream phenomenon, with a surge in the number of books and various forms of media available.
• 💡 The core principle of self-help is taking action, no matter how small, which is essential for making progress and not just theoretical knowledge.
• 📈 The number of self-help books released in the US has nearly tripled in the past six years, reflecting the industry's growth and popularity.
• 🔖 Reading 100 self-help books has provided valuable insights that can potentially change one's perspective on self-improvement.
• 📖 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is highlighted as a classic self-help book emphasizing the importance of action over knowledge.
• 🛠 Implementing concepts from self-help books, such as using cash for purchases in finance or walking 10,000 steps a day for health, is crucial for real-life improvement.
• 📝 Taking notes while reading self-help books is vital for capturing and organizing key lessons to avoid forgetting important insights.
• 🤔 Self-help books should be used as a source of inspiration and guidance, but readers must critically assess and adapt the advice to fit their own lives.
• 📚 Physical books offer a more tactile and memorable reading experience compared to digital formats, facilitating easier note-taking and recall.
• 🧐 Self-help books serve as mentors, providing wisdom and strategies from successful individuals who have overcome similar challenges.
• 🚀 The democratization of self-help content means there is a wealth of advice available for everyone at any stage of their personal development journey.
• 🌟 The speaker encourages readers to be active participants in their own self-improvement, questioning and applying the lessons from self-help books to their lives.

Q & A

What shift has occurred in how self-help is perceived according to the video?

Self-help has transitioned from being seen as a 'secret vice' to becoming mainstream and widely accepted, with people now openly consuming self-help content in various forms.

What is the key takeaway from reading self-help books according to the video?

The key takeaway is that taking action, even small steps, based on the concepts learned from self-help books is crucial for making progress. Simply reading without implementing is ineffective.

How does the speaker suggest readers approach self-help books to maximize their benefits?

The speaker suggests picking at least three concepts from each self-help book and putting them into practice immediately to see tangible results.

What is the significance of the book 'The Flinch' mentioned in the video?

'The Flinch' by Julian Smith is used as an example to illustrate how facing and overcoming fears through repeated exposure, such as taking a cold shower, can help individuals build resilience and achieve their goals.

Why does the speaker emphasize note-taking while reading self-help books?

The speaker emphasizes note-taking because it helps retain important lessons and insights, making it easier to revisit and apply them in the future. Without notes, much of the valuable information can be forgotten.

How does the speaker view the role of self-help authors in their personal development?

The speaker views self-help authors as virtual mentors who provide valuable guidance and insights, especially when they lacked personal mentors in their own life. Books serve as a source of mentorship and knowledge.

What caution does the speaker give regarding the advice found in self-help books?

The speaker cautions against blindly following advice from self-help books, as not all strategies will work for everyone. It's important to critically assess and adapt the advice to one's own life and circumstances.

What is the speaker's preferred method of consuming self-help content and why?

The speaker prefers reading physical books over digital or audio formats because they find it easier to take notes, find specific information, and retain the content better from physical books.

What does the speaker believe is the ultimate goal of self-help?

The speaker believes the ultimate goal of self-help is self-improvement, where individuals take an active role in their own journey by questioning, implementing, and taking action in their lives.

How does the speaker view the diversity of self-help content available today?

The speaker views the diversity of self-help content as a positive development, noting that there is something for everyone at different stages of their self-development journey, catering to a wide range of needs and goals.

Outlines

00:00

📚 The Evolution and Impact of Self-Help Literature

This paragraph discusses the transformation of self-help from a stigmatized interest to a mainstream phenomenon. It highlights the explosion of self-help book releases in the US, increasing from 30,000 to over 85,000 in six years. The speaker shares personal insights from reading 100 self-help books, emphasizing the importance of taking action on the concepts learned. The summary also touches on the practice of applying at least three concepts from each book, the significance of note-taking, and the idea of self-help authors serving as mentors. It concludes with the challenge to not only read but to actively implement the teachings in daily life.

05:02

🤔 Critical Engagement with Self-Help Content

The second paragraph delves into the importance of critically engaging with self-help content rather than passively consuming it. It stresses the value of self-help books as a source of mentorship, especially for those lacking direct access to role models or experts in their field. The speaker argues that while self-help books offer invaluable insights, readers must adapt the advice to fit their unique circumstances. The paragraph also warns against blindly following advice and encourages readers to question and test the concepts to find what works best for them. It concludes by emphasizing the democratization of self-help and the reader's role in being an active participant in their self-improvement journey.

Keywords

💡Self-help

Self-help refers to the practice of improving oneself without direct assistance from others. In the video, self-help is highlighted as a growing trend, moving from a niche interest to a mainstream cultural phenomenon. The narrator discusses how self-help materials, particularly books, have become a significant resource for personal development.

💡Action

Action is the process of implementing what one has learned. The video emphasizes that merely reading self-help books is not enough; real progress comes from taking action on the lessons learned. This concept is illustrated through examples like paying for everything with cash or taking cold showers, as mentioned in 'The Flinch.'

💡Flinch

The flinch is a reflexive reaction to fear or discomfort, used metaphorically to describe resistance to challenging or uncomfortable situations. In the video, the concept is discussed in relation to Julian Smith's book 'The Flinch,' where facing fears—like taking a cold shower—is presented as a way to overcome hesitation and build resilience.

💡Mentorship

Mentorship refers to the guidance provided by a more experienced person. In the absence of real-life mentors, the narrator found self-help authors to be his mentors, using their books to gain insights and guidance. This concept is important as it highlights the role self-help books can play in providing direction and knowledge.

💡Note-taking

Note-taking is the practice of recording important information for future reference. The video discusses the importance of taking notes while reading self-help books to retain and apply the lessons learned. The narrator mentions how he initially neglected this practice but later realized its value in making the content more memorable and actionable.

💡Cold shower

A cold shower is used metaphorically and literally in the video to symbolize confronting and overcoming discomfort. This example from 'The Flinch' demonstrates how facing small challenges, like enduring cold water, can build mental strength and resilience, which are key themes in the self-help genre.

💡Implementation

Implementation is the act of putting a plan or idea into effect. The video stresses that the effectiveness of self-help books lies in the reader's ability to implement the strategies and concepts discussed. Without implementation, the knowledge gained remains theoretical and does not lead to real-life improvements.

💡Personalization

Personalization involves adapting advice or strategies to fit one's unique circumstances. The video argues that self-help advice should not be followed blindly; instead, readers should tailor the lessons to suit their personal lives. This approach ensures that the advice is more effective and relevant.

💡Mainstream

Mainstream refers to the widespread acceptance and popularity of something. The video illustrates how self-help has transitioned from being a niche interest to a mainstream industry, with millions of people consuming self-help content in various forms, such as books, courses, and online videos.

💡Critical thinking

Critical thinking is the ability to analyze and evaluate information objectively. The video encourages viewers to engage in critical thinking when consuming self-help content, questioning the advice given and considering how it applies to their individual situations. This ensures that the guidance is effective and tailored to their needs.

Highlights

Self-help has transitioned from a fringe activity to mainstream, becoming a popular industry.

The number of self-help books in the US has nearly tripled in the past six years, from 30,000 to over 85,000.

Taking action, no matter how small, is essential for making progress, rather than just consuming self-help content.

A good rule of thumb is to pick at least three concepts from every self-help book and put them into practice immediately.

The book 'The Flinch' by Julian Smith encourages readers to overcome fear by embracing uncomfortable situations, like taking a cold shower.

Most people don't finish the books they start or implement the lessons, with only 10% reading past the first chapter.

Taking better notes while reading self-help books is crucial to retaining and applying the information learned.

Ryan Holladay emphasizes the importance of marking passages and organizing notes while reading to capture key insights.

The author advocates for reading physical books for better retention and note-taking, compared to audiobooks or e-readers.

Self-help authors can serve as mentors, offering valuable advice on leadership, marketing, and happiness for a fraction of the cost.

One of the biggest mistakes is blindly following self-help advice without adapting it to one's unique circumstances.

The best self-help books challenge readers to think critically and apply the advice in a way that works for them.

Self-help becoming mainstream means there's something for everyone at every stage of their self-development journey.

Ultimately, self-help is about the self, and readers need to be active participants in their own journeys by questioning and taking action.

The speaker offers a weekly newsletter called Snail Mail, which provides self-development content and advice that can be immediately applied.

Transcripts

- It wasn't that long ago that self-help

was seen as a secret vice.

You might quietly browse the self-help section

at a bookstore

or attend a live conference without telling your wife

- You gotta be before you can do.

You gotta do before you can have.

- And, oh, how times have changed.

Self-help has gone from fringe to mainstream,

from cringe to binge

- How the fuck is everyone?

We can't get enough of it, from courses to documentaries

and surprisingly handsome YouTubers.

The self-help industry is in Vogue.

And while the mediums

with which we consume it continue to change,

the backbone has always been the self-help book.

Over the past six years,

the number of self-help books released in the US

has nearly tripled growing from 30,000 to over 85,000 books.

And I read 100 of them

from the "Power of Now" to "Deep Work"

to "Daring Greatly" and "Awaken the Giant Within"

You can say that I have a bit of a problem,

but I've learned so much

from reading so many of them and the lessons I learned

might change the way you look at self-help.

This is one of the best selling self-help books ever written

first published in 1936 by Dale Carnegie.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a classic.

In the book he quotes a British philosopher,

Herbert Spencer, who said the great aim of education

is not knowledge, but action.

And this is an action book.

And this lesson from over 100 years ago

is one of the most important lessons I've learned

from reading over 100 self-help books.

Taking action no matter how small

is the key to making progress.

You can devour all the self-help books in the world,

but if you're not actually implementing the concepts

you're learning, you may as well be reading fiction.

So if you're reading a book about personal finance

then test out the author's suggestion

to pay for everything with cash.

If you're reading a book about exercise

then take the author's advice to dust off your sneakers

and walk 10,000 steps a day.

If the goal is to actually make improvements in your life,

whether it's for your business finances or mental health,

it's essential to make sure

that you're taking these small steps forward

not just theorizing, what might actually work.

A good rule of thumb is to pick at least three concepts

from every book and to put them into practice immediately.

The best books make it easy.

One of the most memorable examples for me came from a book

called "The Flinch" in the book author

Julian Smith shows how we often flinch in the face of fear.

He uses the example of an amateur boxer.

The first few times someone throws a jab at a boxer's face,

they're going to flinch out of sheer instinct,

but if you wanna be world class

or even have a decent shot at not getting your kicked

you need to retrain this instinct.

The same goes for creative pursuits

and living a meaningful life.

In the book he says, want a real visceral example

of what the flinch feels like?

Try this when you're at home and have five minutes,

go to your bathroom

walk up to your shower and turn on the cold water.

He then encourages the reader to ditch the excuses

and jump straight into the ice cold water.

I distinctly remember reading the section of the book

years ago and thinking there is no way in hell

that I'm gonna jump into a cold shower right now.

But the more I thought about it

the more I realized, you know what?

Maybe I actually should be putting some of these lessons

into practice.

Maybe I should embrace the flinch and see what happens.

And so I jumped into a cold shower.

As Julian explains when we repeatedly expose ourselves

to these kinds of finches, both big and small,

from asking out that cute stranger

to giving a live talk in front of hundreds of people,

we can start to overcome fear and build the life we want.

The truth is most people don't actually finish

the books they start let alone put the lessons into action.

As Tony Robbins writes in the opening chapter

of his classic book, "Awaken the Giant Within"

less than 10% of people who buy a book

read past the first chapter.

I challenge you not only to do whatever it takes

to read this book in its entirety,

unlike the masses who quit,

but also to use what you learn in simple ways each day.

When I look at the list of the 100 self-help books

that I've read,

it's almost impossible to remember

more than two or three takeaways from each book

yet they're all brimming with life changing insights.

One of the biggest mistakes I made early on

was not taking better notes while reading.

While I've since fixed this bad habit,

I was often too precious with my books.

I didn't want to earmark the pages or annotate the text,

but if you read a lot

it's essential to track the important lessons and takeaways

that you glean from the pages.

Otherwise, it'll just go in one ear and out the other.

Author Ryan Holladay is religious

about note taking while reading.

He says the key to my system is the ritual,

read a book or an article and diligently mark the passages

and portions that stand out to you.

If you have a thought, write it down on the page.

So the exact system isn't as important

as having a simple way to capture and organize information.

It's all about finding a strategy that works for you.

So highlight the best ideas,

underline the most thoughtful quotes,

use post-it notes to remember the most impactful sections

or keep a notes app open while reading.

If you read a hundred self-help books

and you don't take any notes on what you learn,

you're gonna be wasting so much time.

You'll wanna come back to this information in the future.

So you need to make it as easy as possible

to find exactly what you're looking for

because oftentimes the things that are taught in these books

need to be relearned over and over and over again.

This is one of the reasons

that I've started to read physical books again,

the convenience of audio books

and digital e-readers is huge.

And I still use them to this day,

but nothing beats reading from an actual book.

Sure the tactile feeling of reading a book is nice,

but it's also easier to take notes

find exactly what you're looking for in the future

and it's so much more sticky

for your brain to read from a physical book

than to listen to an audio book.

One of the biggest benefits that I found

from reading self-help books

is that the authors essentially became my mentors.

When I got started out, I didn't have actual mentors.

I didn't personally know anyone

who had started a freelance filmmaking business

or who had made a feature length documentary

or who made YouTube videos for a living.

I'm not sure where to look,

I'm not sure what to do with my hands.

I had nobody to talk to about this stuff.

So I relied on books instead, while I couldn't hop on a call

with Brene brown, Seth Godin or Gretchen Rubin,

I could open up a book

to learn everything they have to share about leadership,

marketing and happiness.

There's a disproportionate amount of value

in self-help books.

Think about it.

For just $15, you can get access

to some of the smartest people in the world

to hear how they approached some of the same obstacles

that you're facing today.

If you're not reading self-help books right now,

you're missing out on a ton of invaluable content

that could change your life and save you a lot of time.

But that said, just because something worked for the author

doesn't mean it's going to work for you.

One of the biggest mistakes that people make

while reading self-help books is to blindly follow

whatever advice is being shared.

As Katie milkman argues in her book "How to Change"

when policy makers, organizations or scientists

applied one size fits all strategy to change behavior,

the results were mixed, but when they began by asking

what stood in the way of progress

and then developed targeted strategies to change behavior

the results were far better.

The best self help books challenge us to think critically.

The worst ask us to blindly follow a step by step plan.

As a reader,

it's your responsibility to question everything

and ask yourself, how can I adapt this to work for my life?

If you're a gentle, empathetic person

that aggressive sales advice you read in that marketing book

is probably never gonna feel right for you

no matter how well the author promises it'll work.

Oh, you wanna play hardball?

Huh?

Well, that's great because when it comes to balls

I'm the one that's gonna be rubbing you the wrong way.

Oh, my God.

I didn't mean it like that.

I am so sorry.

What's important is to be able to go in with an open mind,

find three things that you can test

and hopefully find one thing that'll stick for the long run.

This of course doesn't always happen,

but it's a really good goal to stick to.

The best thing about self-help becoming mainstream

and democratized is that there's something for everyone

at every stage of their self-development journey

whether you're looking to build better habits,

improve your focus, get healthier, or simply feel happier.

You can gain advice from someone who's already done it,

but what's important to remember

is that ultimately self-help is about the self, that's you.

With every piece of content you consume,

consider how you can be an active participant

in your own journey by questioning, implementing

and taking action in your own life.

Because while it's great to take inspiration

from some of these brilliant thinkers who came before you,

you need to be your own guru.

So if you want more anti preachy, non-prescriptive

self-help advice that you can instantly apply

to your own life,

then you might enjoy my weekly newsletter called Snail Mail,

get original articles and a digest

of the best self development content

on the internet every Monday.

People have been saying some really nice things about it.

I couldn't put it down

because of how interesting the topics were.

It was so much more than I expected it to be.

Snail Mail is so (beep) good.

You can sign up for these free Monday morning emails

at slowgrowth.com/newsletter.

Or you can click the little link

in the description below this video.

Hope you enjoyed this one.

Thank you so much for watching.